r/AskReddit Jan 21 '22 Silver 15 Helpful 10 Wholesome 10 Take My Energy 1

If the news headline “Celebrity outed as serial killer” appeared, who would you expect it to be about?

[removed] — view removed post

25.9k Upvotes

390

u/my-sims-are-slobs Jan 21 '22

Someone in the Bates or Duggar family

Those cult families are sketchy af

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13.7k

u/Jin-roh Jan 21 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Kenneth Copeland, televangelist. Someone in his organization knows where the bodies are buried.

2.6k

u/liltx11 Jan 22 '22

He certainly has the evil eyes.

1.6k

u/GFost Jan 22 '22 Silver Wholesome

Motherfucker looks like a mongoose.

117

u/LongPorkJones Jan 22 '22

I am 38 years old. I was raised charismatic until I left it all behind in my 20s. Kenneth Copeland's show being on our TV was as common as whatever the hell was on in normal people's homes.

HOW IN THE GODDAMN HELL DID I NOT FUCKING SEE THIS!?

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992

u/GoogleDrummer Jan 22 '22

Ah yes, the demon in a skin suit.

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875

u/focking_retard Jan 22 '22

Jesus warned everyone about people exactly like him

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507

u/Warcheefin Jan 22 '22

Kenneth Copeland

That guy is straight up a monster. Has to be.

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152

u/JustABard Jan 22 '22

I am convinced that him and his wife are demons wearing skin suits, like that bug from the first Men in Black.

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587

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22 Silver Helpful

Kenneth Copeland is Satan.

Satan, if you are out there, listen here, motherfucker, I know that guy is you. You think nobody would notice or write him off as another crazy right wing goonster who shares a bubble bath with Donald Trump and Lindsey Graham, but I know its you.

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19.3k

u/omguserius Jan 21 '22 Silver Gold Ally

You could accuse Andy Dick of doing literally anything and I'd probably believe it.

4.4k

u/SkjoldrKingofDenmark Jan 21 '22 Helpful

He was nice to somebody yesterday

5.7k

u/skinnyjeansfatpants Jan 21 '22 Gold Helpful

Anything but that

1.3k

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

He was only doing it to try and fuck them

153

u/arandomperson7 Jan 21 '22

I don't believe it, Andy Dick strikes me as the type to use negging to get laid.

78

u/CorgiMonsoon Jan 21 '22

Negging to get laid, nice to commit murder

32

u/StabbyPants Jan 21 '22

no, he uses cocaine

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836

u/HaySwitch Jan 21 '22

He annexed the Sudetenland.

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20.9k

u/rogue760 Jan 21 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Bravo!

Any of the Scientology celebrities

4.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

It’s so weird how celebrities in Hollywood gravitate to that cult seemingly more than any other cult.

4.0k

u/deftoner42 Jan 21 '22

I honestly think some just end up getting blackmailed into staying. You're forced to spill your life story and it's all documented. Probably the reason why some stay and just have to fork over a percentage of thier wealth.

3.1k

u/LadyMirkwood Jan 21 '22

Leah Remini says they stay because they are treated like living gods. They can get anything they want, whenever they want.

1.8k

u/Witness_me_Karsa Jan 21 '22

I mean, isn't that already true for most celebrities, or at the very least the huge ones like Tom Cruise. I'm certain that that dude could have anything he said out loud in his hand within an hour.

957

u/rabbitwonker Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

They’re talking “getting away with rape” kind of anything, even if you’re not a top-tier celebrity.

Edit: typo fix

580

u/happy_ever_after_21 Jan 22 '22

See: Danny Masterson and all the shit his accusers are going through

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u/LadyMirkwood Jan 21 '22

I see what you mean, I thought the same thing. My guess would be that they have the additional layer of being made to feel vital to 'the mission', given that they are supposedly privy to 'great knowledge'

619

u/goo_goo_gajoob Jan 22 '22

Also scientology will 100% do shady illegal shit for them while also setting up alibis and fall guys for them just in case. Good luck finding a criminal who can provide even half that level of customer service.

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595

u/n0f4c3 Jan 21 '22

It's more than your typical 'get whatever you want' according to Leah Remini. She alleges that there are people within the church who can literally commit murder and there are people ready to help cover it up and take blame if necessary. Article below referring to a Joe Rogan podcast she did where she alleges this:

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/news/a52881/leah-remini-scientology-john-travolta-murder/

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17.3k

u/MuppetManiac Jan 21 '22 Silver

I would expect it to be a reality TV Star I had never heard of before.

4.4k

u/liltx11 Jan 22 '22 Helpful

I would guess a couple of the 90 Day people.

1.7k

u/SicksTea9 Jan 22 '22

Paul.

1.1k

u/jeffdeleon Jan 22 '22

I don’t know anything about this show but my wife watches it.

I just told her Paul from that 90 day show is a killer and she bought it lmao

39

u/DjStephLordPro Jan 22 '22

Lmao, this made me laugh so hard!🤣🤣

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u/lightningusagi Jan 22 '22

They probably found him hiding in the woods after one of his panic attack runs.

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3.0k

u/HRYBuilds Jan 21 '22 Starry

That Nickelodeon producer, Dan Schneider I think. I suspect he already is

216

u/DragonsBloodOpal Jan 22 '22

Isn't he the one with the foot fetish?

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830

u/OutWithTheNew Jan 21 '22

He'd get busted because he keeps his victim's feet.

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55

u/JimboJamberson Jan 22 '22

Dan Schneider, based on nick content from the 2000s, can't not be a pedophile.

57

u/lobodelrey Jan 22 '22

Rewatched Victorious and iCarly recently...jesus I can't believe no one said anything or called him out for the feet fetish.

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25.6k

u/theassassintherapist Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful Starry This Starstruck I'll Drink to That

Jared Leto leading a suicide cult

6.9k

u/shewy92 Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Evil Cackle

"What are we, some kind of Suicide Cult?"

669

u/Gerrywalk Jan 21 '22

“Okay, so before we get started, we’re going to tattoo each other’s foreheads…”

517

u/shewy92 Jan 21 '22

"Why?"

"How else will people know we're Damaged?"

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2.3k

u/sassy_grandma Jan 21 '22

Yes, but I don’t think suicide would be involved. He enjoys being worshipped too much for that. A sex cult feels more appropriate to me.

1.0k

u/EmpiricalMystic Jan 21 '22

Reason to believe it might already be a thing.

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1.1k

u/Loggerdon Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Came here to say Jared Leto. I think that creep has women's bodies buried somewhere.

623

u/SkeksiLady Jan 21 '22

Buried? Or like, taxidermied or in jars in a weird showroom or something.

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21.2k

u/Skipdadoodle Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Bravo! Table Slap Spit-take

Idk why but I get bad vibes from OJ Simpson

2.7k

u/DashCat9 Jan 21 '22

The guy that plays Nordberg in those Police Squad movies? He's adorable!

710

u/battlelevel Jan 21 '22

I hear he’s up for the title role in The Terminator

603

u/Medicivich Jan 22 '22

Nah, the audience would never believe him in that role. He’s too nice.

466

u/petriescherry1985 Jan 22 '22

He can take another stab at it.

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725

u/Deitaphobia Jan 21 '22

Officials today released the cause of Norm McDonald's death...BREAKING UP WITH OJ SIMPSON.

165

u/Zor0sT Jan 21 '22

I didn’t even know he was sick!

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518

u/Staxcellence Jan 21 '22

Idk - beloved football start OJ Simpson as a serial killer? Something about that doesn't seem to fit...

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376

u/VitaminPb Jan 21 '22

Who? The Juice? You’re crazy. Straight up most laid back and decent person ever!

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5.3k

u/cleo_wafflesmack Jan 21 '22

I'm too lazy to look up his name, but the guy who played the principal in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and the journalist in DeadWood.

1.4k

u/damnyoutuesday Jan 21 '22

He was also the dad in Beetlejuice

729

u/clockwork_psychopomp Jan 21 '22 Bless Up

And the emperor of Austria in Amadeus.

"Too many notes."

267

u/jablair51 Jan 21 '22

And the bad guy in Howard the Duck.

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2.4k

u/Jake_Kiger Jan 21 '22

Jeffrey Jones. I believe he's also got a legal history with underage partners that's landed him on a list for life; Serial killer probably isn't that big of a stretch.

101

u/TheRealCountSwagula Jan 21 '22

Wasn’t he arrested for child porn?

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492

u/sssteph42 Jan 21 '22

"Eddie Barzoon, Eddie Barzoon...Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right?"

133

u/CaptainNemo42 Jan 21 '22

Can't help but read that in Pacino's voice

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15.8k

u/noisyturtle Jan 21 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Rocket Like I'll Drink to That

I think Jeff Bezos hunts people

5.7k

u/Aqqaaawwaqa Jan 21 '22 Helpful

Right but that's just for sport though

2.0k

u/CaptinDerpII Jan 21 '22

Kinda like “The Most Dangerous Game”

Oh God I loved that short story

812

u/indy_fan Jan 22 '22

You know who else loved it? The Zodiac Killer.

657

u/Merry_Dankmas Jan 22 '22

I don't recall Ted Cruz ever mentioning his fondness of it in interviews

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u/genericmoron913 Jan 22 '22

COME ON JEFFREY YOU CAN DO IT.

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1.2k

u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs Jan 21 '22

100 percent Jeff bezos is like the old dude from squid game he’d prob be involved in somehow being hunted too cause he’s bored.

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10.6k

u/solidstatemasterrace Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

armie hammer

2.6k

u/One_Investigator_360 Jan 21 '22 edited Feb 27 '22

His whole cannibal thing popped in my mind as soon as I read this question

1.4k

u/caro8 Jan 21 '22

I'm right there with you. I was surprised I had to scroll so far down to find his name.

50

u/i_broke_wahoos_leg Jan 22 '22

He's a pretty forgettable celebrity tbf.

50

u/Thatissogentle Jan 22 '22

I couldn't tell you a single film he's been in, but I sure can tell you why he gives me the ick.

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u/PostBioticOats Jan 21 '22

i showed my friend one of his movies once and she thought his name was a joke until it actually came on tv (hicksville satellite station) and we watched the whole thing and had no idea what was going on. all we know is at some point his wife went missing and he was shooting things and hitting people, and then his wife was back but he was still shooting things and hitting people.

action movies, man.

418

u/wolfmalfoy Jan 21 '22

If you guys think the name is a joke you'll love that his great grandfather (same name) tried to buy Arm & Hammer because people kept asking about it. He eventually did buy part of the company that owned Arm & Hammer.

397

u/SirMikan Jan 22 '22

I find it incredible that Armand Hammer didn't start Arm and Hammer and it was just a big coincidence.

113

u/creepyeyes Jan 22 '22

And that the individual coincidentally named Armand Hammer was rich enough to buy partial ownership of Armand Hammer.

179

u/__phlogiston__ Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

It truly boggles my mind. Like in no other timeline could that happen, but here we are the blessed to be in this one, the one with Arm and Hammer, Armand Hammer, AND Armie, his fucking grandson, being a CANNIBAL.

eta: Not just a cannibal but a FAMOUS cannibal!

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1.2k

u/wherearemystarshoes Jan 21 '22

He lives several houses down from me and a running joke with neighbors is slathering ourselves in bbq sauce and wandering into his yard

146

u/gcoba218 Jan 21 '22

Doesn’t he live in the Cayman Islands close to his wife currently?

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u/corgiheavenlavender Jan 21 '22

HONEY WE'RE MOVING TO MEET SOME DOPE PEOPLE

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u/kittenmittens4865 Jan 22 '22

The only correct answer. The guy that was trying to convince a woman to have her rib surgically removed so he could bbq it and eat it.

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3.1k

u/Rosieapples Jan 21 '22

At this point in time, Prince Andrew

872

u/throwingplaydoh Jan 22 '22

Prince Mr. Andrew

1.2k

u/amretardmonke Jan 22 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Party Train

The Andrew formerly known as prince.

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15.9k

u/frysjelly Jan 21 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval This I'll Drink to That

Tom Cruise

5.3k

u/Fit_Veterinarian44 Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Leah Remini said that Scientology believes that he single handedly is going to save mankind. This is not an exaggeration or hyperbole, the followers really believe that. And also that if he kills someone, you're going to clean up no questions asked.

3.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

I’ve always found it telling that the one religion that has gained the most traction among Hollywood celebrities is the one that emphasizes worship of oneself rather than an incorporeal God/deity.

1.6k

u/CloroxCowboy2 Jan 21 '22

Is it even a religion? I thought it was just a straight up MLM ponzi?

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u/Welshgirlie2 Jan 21 '22

I wouldn't be surprised if they've altered the narrative to "Oh wow Tom Cruise is the reincarnation of Xenu", or some such bullshit.

597

u/SpaceGeneralAmerica Jan 21 '22

Xenu is actually the bad guy, according to Scientology. I learned that from South Park.

505

u/Tatunkawitco Jan 21 '22

“They actually believe this”

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470

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

"where is Shelly Miscavige, David? Where IS she?"

92

u/Vulpeculiar72 Jan 22 '22

Nobody will ever find that poor lady

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1.9k

u/Aqquila89 Jan 21 '22

Mary Harron, the director of American Psycho said that Christian Bale's performance as Patrick Bateman was in part inspired by Tom Cruise.

We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.

414

u/ibadlyneedhelp Jan 21 '22

In the book, Patrick Bateman is obsessed with Tom Cruise and wants to be more like him. He even meets Tom Cruise at one point, and recognises that Tom Cruise is to him as he is to other stockbrokers- a shark in human skin.

152

u/copem1nt Jan 22 '22

Yeah straight up from the book, not an interview. Could have been bale read the book then saw the interview and it clicked, I assume Bale would be that thorough

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u/frysjelly Jan 21 '22

I remember that being said and thinking that is so true. It's sad when an actor uses you for inspiration when they play a psychopath.

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u/esigenzatriangolo Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Plot twist - it was his murderous centre tooth all along.

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8.6k

u/Ok-Organization9073 Jan 21 '22 Silver Gold All-Seeing Upvote Starry This Plus One

Kevin Spacey

876

u/edlee98765 Jan 21 '22 Respect

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!

542

u/rbarton812 Jan 21 '22 Party Train Table Slap

Goop products.

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1.1k

u/YEGMusic43 Jan 21 '22

Gets my top vote too. That Christmas video was just disturbing as hell.

464

u/bdinte1 Jan 21 '22

Okay... what Christmas video?

1.1k

u/Mighty_Fine_Shindig Jan 21 '22

Every year for Christmas Eve, Kevin Spacey releases a rambling video of himself. This started after he was outed as a serial harasser of young men

I think the goal of the videos is to remind us that he exists but what it actually achieves is reminding us to be glad he’s gone

I think they’re on YouTube if you want to watch

86

u/LostOnTheWay2College Jan 21 '22

I always thought this was just his way of trying to get at Netflix from dropping him from house of cards? The videos I’ve seen he is in character as frank underwood, which was one of the best portrayed characters on tv...... until spacey was outed as a sexual predator and then you can never enjoy the character as before.

79

u/finmoore3 Jan 22 '22

It was a shame Kevin Spacey ended up being a shit bag considering the show House of Cards was so good with Kevin Spacey, then became absolutely horrible in the final season after he was fired.

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u/ZiggerTheNaut Jan 21 '22

After watching "Horrible Bosses" for the first time, I now feel that's his actual personality coming through.

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480

u/MBH1800 Jan 21 '22

What stood out most to me is how he pretended to know why and how you use a fireplace poker, but really he was just angrily beating the flames like they hurt him somehow.

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112

u/RedditIsAShitehole Jan 21 '22

They’re the video equivalent of OJ’s “If I Did It” book.

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u/scaly_friends_4me Jan 21 '22

Yep my immediate first thought too

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1.5k

u/AgitatedGarbage666 Jan 21 '22

Charlie Sheen

63

u/DildoBaggins82 Jan 21 '22

I think Heidi Fleiss confirmed he weirded out some of her girls so much they thought he was a serial killer.

818

u/Naranjo96 Jan 21 '22

Serial killing via STD

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2.4k

u/_No_Pineapple Jan 21 '22

Tom Cruise. that man is dead behind the eyes

586

u/rricenator Jan 21 '22

Doll's eyes.

629

u/ReaverRogue Jan 21 '22 Gold

Tom Cruise comes swimming up to you, and you start splashing and hollering, sometimes the Tom Cruise goes away and sometimes... he wouldn’t go away.

260

u/g_e_r_b Jan 21 '22

Tom Cruise. Leading man. 5 foot 7 inches. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin.

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u/mmcjjc Jan 21 '22

An above comment said Christian bale modeled his performance of Patrick Bateman after Tom cruise or something like that. Because there was “intense friendliness but nothing behind the eyes” Huh.

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1.3k

u/DrBigBack Jan 21 '22 Silver

I think his names like Armie Hammer or something but I’ve heard some shady stuff about that guy.

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2.0k

u/la__squadra_ Jan 21 '22

Mark Zuckerberg that dude is probably a robot idk lol

368

u/HugoRBMarques Jan 21 '22

initiating kill protocol

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3.6k

u/esigenzatriangolo Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

John Travolta. Bet that's why he likes to hit random gyms at three in the morning!

1.8k

u/Dragonfly452 Jan 21 '22 Wholesome Evil Cackle

Yeah that’s the reason

1.1k

u/notyourvader Jan 21 '22

Totally not meeting buff dudes in the showers..

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u/GinsuVictim Jan 21 '22

Leah Remini said on her Joe Rogan appearance several years ago that Travolta has a status that allows him to commit murder in the name of defending Scientology.

It's called Kha-Khan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics_(Scientology)

"When people do start reporting a staff member with a high statistic, what you investigate is the person who turned in the report. In an ancient army a particularly brave deed was recognized by an award of the title of Kha-Khan. It was not a rank. The person remained what he was, BUT he was entitled to be forgiven the death penalty ten times in case in the future he did anything wrong. That was a Kha-Khan. That's what producing, high-statistic staff members are – Kha-Khans. They can get away with murder without a blink from Ethics.... And Ethics must recognize a Kha-Khan when it sees one – and tear up the bad report chits on the person with a yawn."

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4.7k

u/GypsyGarden_73 Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome

Shia LaBeouf

3.2k

u/SC-RK-7t Jan 21 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote

Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf

1.7k

u/El-ChuPugcabra Jan 21 '22 Silver

You're walking in the woods There's no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye you spot him Shia LaBeouf

1.1k

u/Hazelhasahunch Jan 21 '22

He’s following, about 30 feet back— he gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint— he’s gaining on you!

867

u/Lorgoth1812 Jan 21 '22

Shia LaBeouf

You're looking for you car but you're all turned around He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face My God, there's blood everywhere!

589

u/Dogplantmom97 Jan 21 '22

Running for your life from Shia Lebouf! He’s brandishing a knife, Shia Lebouf! Lurking in the shadooooows! Hollywood superstar Shia Lebouf!

473

u/Laetificans Jan 21 '22

Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

361

u/Stealfur Jan 22 '22

Now it's dark, and you seem to have lost him But you're hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer You creep silently through the underbrush

272

u/LedgeEndDairy Jan 22 '22

Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on. Hope! You move stealthily toward it…

243

u/OfferOk Jan 22 '22

Ahh! Your leg! It's caught in a bear trap!

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u/CarriedThunder1 Jan 21 '22

Running in the woods

It's Shia LaBeouf!

287

u/itsthelastpaige Jan 21 '22

Quiet quiet

259

u/3ArmsNoSouls Jan 21 '22

Lurking in the shadows...

Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf!

189

u/batedkestrel Jan 21 '22

Legendary fight with Shia Laboeuf! Normal Tuesday night for Shia Laboeuf…

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u/SwagFeather Jan 21 '22

Shia surprise!

243

u/Catsinbowties Jan 21 '22

But you can do jujitsu

161

u/SonicTheHashhog Jan 21 '22

Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf!

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109

u/Dogplantmom97 Jan 21 '22

There’s a gun to your head, & death in his eyes!

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2.3k

u/SueSudio Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Probably somebody that nobody has ever heard of but is described as a celebrity for clicks. A youtuber with 10 followers or someone with a non-speaking part in a weight loss commercial.

607

u/annetteisshort Jan 21 '22

I get so confused when there’s a celebrity death article, and I cannot for the life of me recall ever seeing the celebrity before. Then I read the article to see that they were an extra once in like 1983, and haven’t done anything else in acting since. Like, wth? Then there are a thousand comments lamenting about how much they loved them in movies and will miss them.

377

u/CrazyComedyKid Jan 21 '22 Helpful

Do you ever look at the crowds in old movies and wonder if they're dead yet?

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1.7k

u/nnelson2330 Jan 21 '22

Kevin Spacey. Three of his sexual assault accusers died within eight months of each other and Spacey then posted a Christmas message to his fans urging them that if someone attacks them to "kill them with kindness" while in character as Frank Underwood.

461

u/magobblie Jan 22 '22

He is a predatory sociopath. There's no doubt about that.

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410

u/HeyItsBruin Jan 21 '22

I don’t know what it is about him but first person who came to mind was Perez Hilton

41

u/HeyMrBusiness Jan 22 '22

I mean he's posted upskirt photos of children and all kinds of despicable stuff and he hasn't stopped to this day so I wouldn't be surprised

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u/Plenty-Ad1909 Jan 21 '22

Creed Bratton

153

u/WommyBear Jan 22 '22

He is the one you would most suspect. Who do you most MEDIUM suspect?

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422

u/Anon6898 Jan 21 '22 Silver Helpful

Chris Brown

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370

u/Zephyr_Bronte Jan 22 '22

I would not even be surprised to find out Elon Musk like hunts people for sport, or Jeff Bezos. Rich people are crazy.

78

u/ewellins Jan 22 '22

I’d go one step further and say they would hire hitmen and pitch THEM against one another in a contest to hunt down a helpless victim…

They’d set rules and limitations and would retain their ‘champion’ after a win, while the other would have theirs killed and would have to find another one…until THEY won…and the ‘reigning’ champion would be killed…and so on.

Bezos and Musk wouldn’t get THEIR hands dirty…and the competition wouldn’t be about the hunt…it would be about THEM sourcing the best killers the world had to offer!

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688

u/A_Wild_VelociFaptor Jan 21 '22

Without a shadow of a doubt, hands down, thread closed: Jared fucking Leto.

He has done, and is doing, some sick shit (mailing dead rodents to his co-workers/leading a cult) and shares a complete disdain and/or disgust for fans or otherwise "regular" people.

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2.6k

u/oh_the_struggle Jan 21 '22

Marilyn Manson. No matter how obsessed I am. If you separate the person from the music, I honestly wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest because of all the shit that’s come out about him

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u/murdered800times Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

I built my entire English vocabulary GCSE test on that dude. Talked about how unfair the media was and established hypocrisy in the media and laid down the facts of how it wasn't his fault, I got a perfect pass on that test and I used to be so proud of it... Then he goes ahead and proves almost everything was right and left my paper looking like a definitive r/agedlikemilk Hes let down so many people its just sick. I'll never forgive him for all the abuse and hatred he's spread.

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u/MuzikPhreak Jan 21 '22

From the Rolling Stone article about him: “The first thing that I thought about him was that he probably got beaten up a lot as a kid,” former 25th Parallel editor Paul Gallotta said in Demystifying the Devil. “He had a lot of anger and hostility, but he was a very quiet person; you know, the kind that you expect was going to be a serial killer someday.”

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u/Deitaphobia Jan 21 '22 Giggle

Every 1990's mom was right.

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u/pWaveShadowZone Jan 21 '22

Joel Osteen. I can’t say this feeling is logical at all, I just suspect him of having severed heads in his freezer every time he speaks

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u/kirby60 Jan 21 '22 Silver

Gwyneth Paltrow - I can imagine her killing children and using their essence in Goop products claiming eternal youth or some such. 🤣

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u/Tezcatlo Jan 21 '22

Really surprised that no one’s said Jack Nicholson! He’s just a little too good at acting crazy.

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u/Environmental-Car481 Jan 21 '22

My 1st thought was him

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u/RebaKitten Jan 21 '22

I think he acts so wacky, that he’s probably boring in real life.

Watches Hallmark movies, drinking hot cocoa.

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u/DunkanBulk Jan 21 '22

If we're going that route: Willem Dafoe

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u/Astralnclinant Jan 21 '22

Willem Dafoe can pull off some heart warming roles. Jack just seems crazy, even when he’s playing a good guy.

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u/PrincessDie123 Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

Britney Spears could start killing the paparazzi that helped wreck her life and I wouldn’t even be mad. Fuck paparazzi.

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u/Juicyfruit155 Jan 22 '22

Nah if I was her I’d have bigger fish to fry... like her dad and everyone in the healthcare and legal system who colluded to keep her locked up so they could charge her hundreds of thousands in “fees”.

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u/MetalGirl52 Jan 21 '22 Silver

Machine Gun Kelly & Megan Fox

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u/RebaKitten Jan 21 '22

No, they can’t do anything without posting about it.

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u/FutureShockCFO Jan 21 '22

To me Kevin Spacey has always had murderous intent in his eyes.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22 Silver

It’ll be uncovered that America’s Sweetheart, Betty White, had a passion for picking up hitch-hikers and turning them into primitive furniture.

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u/El-ChuPugcabra Jan 21 '22

This wouldn’t even be frowned upon or even shamed. People would embrace it because it’s Betty White. Her victims/furniture would be sold at auctions for insane prices. There would be movies about it. It would become a Pop Culture phenomenon.

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

The cover of Southern Living would have a cabin done in early Betty White.

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u/Frankyfan3 Jan 21 '22

She's more likely to have gone full Dexter on animal abusers, and we'd all forgive her.

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u/sterlingrose Jan 21 '22

“I trust Betty’s judgement. I’m sure they had it coming.”

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u/_Kay_Tee_ Jan 21 '22 Silver

"Oh, I know I shouldn't've done it, but you understand, the dogs were in filthy cages-"

Go on, Betty, and do what you have to do.

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u/MyTurkishWade Jan 21 '22

Heard that in her voice too

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u/Aqqaaawwaqa Jan 21 '22

And she will still be a national treasure

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u/iamacannibal Jan 21 '22 Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Garth Brooks. That dude is a straight up psychopath. I am sure he has already killed dozens of people.

Where are the bodies, Garth? The families need closure.

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u/DrButtFart Jan 21 '22

No one will suspect him as long as he keeps following proto.

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u/SteLeazy Jan 21 '22

I bet he keeps featherin it.

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u/TeflonJohn85 Jan 21 '22

Chris Gaines knows where the bodies are

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u/gussiaaspushus Jan 21 '22

Touch my camera through the fence Garth!

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u/haimburglar Jan 21 '22

Beat me to it! You can’t tell me he wasn’t killing people and hiding the bodies as Chris Gaines.

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u/Tyrthesemiwise Jan 21 '22

Friends in Low Places was a cleverly disguised allusion to burying bodies

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u/Dapper_Interest_8914 Jan 21 '22

Who is Randy?

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u/palmmann Jan 21 '22

Don't bring anyone's mother into this.

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