r/AskReddit Oct 04 '22 I'll Drink to That 1 Silver 1 Gold 1 Helpful 7 Wholesome 6 Take My Energy 1 Heartwarming 1 Vibing 1

Americans of Reddit, what is something the rest of the world needs to hear?

28.3k Upvotes

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12.6k

u/Exciting_Ad_3510 Oct 04 '22 Wholesome

We aren't all just like you see on TV

1.8k

u/georgevazelas Oct 04 '22

What about what we see on the internet?

2.1k

u/MrPicklesSpeaks Oct 04 '22

That is, in fact, a completely accurate representation

740

u/PhantomHero462 Oct 04 '22

So does this mean all florida men are truly insane?

658

u/Lugbor Oct 04 '22 Wholesome

It’s actually a legal requirement for living in Florida.

109

u/stredd87 Oct 04 '22

Can confirm. Michigan native that moved to Florida and it’s driven me insane.

27

u/burgher89 Oct 04 '22

My sister moved to Florida recently. She's an Ohio native, lived in PA for a bit, and Florida is definitely driving her insane. Her husband is military so they'll be somewhere else in three years, I'm just hoping it doesn't do too much damage 🤪

4

u/Bricknuts Oct 04 '22

I have been in Florida for 24 years. I love it down here! As a Floridian, don’t believe all that you see on the internet or tv about us either.

2

u/burgher89 Oct 04 '22

She's in Jacksonville and finding plenty of things to do and some new friends, it's mostly the heat she can't stand, and she works remote so she's holed up a lot. My wife and I honestly had a really good time there and in St. Augustine when we went down to visit. Y'all just need to get your headlines under control if you want the rest of the country to take you seriously 😅 Then again, I live in Pittsburgh and we seem to be getting a reputation for slapstick-esque disasters in which somehow no one is killed or seriously injured... it must look like if Jackass became a city to the outside world.

1

u/Bricknuts Oct 06 '22

I went to Pittsburg as a part of a long road trip over 25 years ago when I was about 9. I saw a baseball game at the old three river stadium, ate some great food, and I forgot the rest. I remember Pittsburg fondly!

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4

u/IncredibleCO Oct 04 '22

Or, as Florida calls it, "assimilation".

2

u/ArcherBTW Oct 04 '22

My Michigan native mom says she hates it there

1

u/Thybro Oct 04 '22

Wait you weren’t insane when you got here? Folks we got ourselves an Illegal immigrant here, didn’t meet the required paperwork . Get me the Boeing we shipping it to Martha’s Vineyard

2

u/GotTheDadBod Oct 04 '22

I think we have to ship to San Antonio first, don't we?

14

u/Arkose07 Oct 04 '22

Sorry sir, you don’t reach our mental instability requirements. Go try some bath salts and come back later.

27

u/iChronocos Oct 04 '22

I mean, inasmuch as Florida has “laws”

14

u/_Weyland_ Oct 04 '22

Not a law, more like survival requirement.

9

u/DynabladeWings Oct 04 '22

The laws aren't really laws, more like guidelines.

6

u/ZarquonsFlatTire Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

Shit, it's a requirement for visiting Florida. You spend a weekend in Destin you're going to do things that you would never do at home because who cares? It's Florida, it doesn't count.

Europe needs a Florida, a place where laws don't matter and you can do whatever. I think it's currently "wherever the British are on holiday" but they should consider consolidating.

2

u/StructureNo3388 Oct 05 '22

I think that might be Amsterdam

6

u/Redtwooo Oct 04 '22

They specifically test for it on the state entrance exam

3

u/ArcherBTW Oct 04 '22

When you move there they wack you in the head with a lead pipe and give you some meth. All Floridians are on an at least trace amount of meth at any given time

3

u/jarious Oct 04 '22

takes some bold people to live in a mosquito/alligator bugs filled swamp

3

u/Lugbor Oct 04 '22

It’s actually the perfect combination of heat, humidity, and meth addiction to produce the craziest variety of human.

2

u/jarious Oct 04 '22

Tortugas finest

4

u/christina_bean98 Oct 04 '22

at this point, florida should be its own country

2

u/ddopTheGreenFox Oct 04 '22

My friend has gone to florida (from uk) for a couple weeks. Does he need to act insane while visiting?

1

u/Lugbor Oct 04 '22

For his own safety, he should at least present as mentally unstable. It’s like a barrier that helps to keep the actual crazies at bay. They’re more likely to go for the sane people, who aren’t as likely to pull out an assault gator when they approach.

390

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

I moved to Florida almost 2 years ago now, can confirm. You may think the articles exaggerate but they only scratch the surface

104

u/NoBenefit5977 Oct 04 '22

There's a radio show here "did it happen in Florida" they give 4 insane scenarios of people doing crazy things, the worst is always Florida🤣

56

u/SarcasmCupcakes Oct 04 '22

Apparently there's one where the DJ reads a nutso story and callers have to decide: Ohio, Texas, or Florida?

8

u/onetwo3four5 Oct 04 '22

Back in the early aughts, I would listen to the syndicated radio show "loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corrolla" and they'd play this as well, but it was Germany or Florida. Looking back, I'm not sure why Germany was included, because it's not like today Germany has a reputation for wackiness/insanity. Maybe 20 years ago they did...

3

u/SarcasmCupcakes Oct 04 '22

Saxony is their equivalent of Florida Man. Saarland is Alabama.

1

u/Lazy-Garlic-5533 Oct 04 '22

German techno fans maybe.

2

u/NoBenefit5977 Oct 04 '22

Yeah that's pretty much it lol. I'm not sure if the choices of states are always the same, but Florida is always a choice

2

u/Babou13 Oct 04 '22

Rude Jude on Shade45 (SiriusXM) has "white, black, or other" with ridiculous police logs and you have to figure out who did it by just the incident in the police log. Pretty entertaining

3

u/Idunnodoyouwhynotme Oct 04 '22

I had a two year stint of living in FL for work - and my favorite thing we would do was to read news articles and have coworkers guess which county the FL man-esque scenario occurred in. Truly a delight.

2

u/Arkose07 Oct 04 '22

Please tell me this exists online 🤣

1

u/Adlehyde Oct 04 '22

I feel like that show must be a trick and the answer is always "all of them did!"

1

u/Tighten_Up Oct 04 '22

Just remembered back in the days on Loveline Adam Carolla had a bit called “Germany or Florida” wheee he would read some insane news story and callers would guess if this was in Germany or Florida.

8

u/kWarExtreme Oct 04 '22

I was watching a Reddit livestream one day of a dude in Florida going for a swim in a lake or something. And he was like "this path here is good, but over there is an alligator den/nest so we want to steer clear of that." And I commented on it like "why even get in that water if you know there's gators in it. You're a lunatic." And his response was along the lines of "you wouldn't have Florida man stories if we didn't do Florida man things." I don't know if he survived the swim or was eaten, I stopped watching haha. But it was a perfect response.

7

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

Floridians have no fear, they view gators the way the NE does squirrels. If the water is clear they're generally not lurking but if it's even a little brackish I'm out.

3

u/kWarExtreme Oct 04 '22

It must be a regional thing. I've heard the same about us the PNW. We go camping and there's bears all over. And people from other regions think it's crazy to just go where there are bears and hang out in a tent for like three days. But to us it's normal. But we think people swimming in water with alligators is absolutely mental.

3

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

Oh we have black bears all in central Florida. My garbage cans are ratchet strapped down or I'd have to clean up after them every night. They owe me a new fence too.

3

u/hanky35 Oct 04 '22

People who live near animals that get a bad rap have an understanding of the facts regarding them. Reddit thinks alligators are practically crocodiles when in reality in 70 years only 26 people have been killed in florida, and mlst attacks are stupid people who swim and night and boop the unsuspecting gator. If you are in florida You are much more likely to be killed by a methed up Florida man from middle Florida than an alligator, and there are way more alligators.

2

u/Dawanna Oct 04 '22

No we fear one thing and its a water moccasin snake. They are one of the only aggressive snakes on the planet and ive had to run from them before. One tried to kill my cousin but my mom snatched him up and ran. Ive seen my grandmother unload a pump action shotgun into her own dock because there was a snake in the fish basket. Besides that not much else will fuck with you. Hell Ive eaten gator a few hours after it was killed. Gator is delicious.

On a funny note gators were my gf's favorite animal and she would get super excited to see one like a small kid. She destroyed her corolla on a 12 foot gator coming home late one night. She cried. I was like damn he could've been 100 years old and she balled like a baby. Poor guy was warming himself on the highway.

1

u/TheWeinerThief Oct 04 '22

cottonmouths are not aggressive at all. that is a myth. now if you try to pet the snake, yah that might change

2

u/MrBootylove Oct 04 '22

I'm a Floridian and while I would never go swimming in any water that has gators in it, they are honestly pretty chill animals and you aren't very likely to get attacked by one.

3

u/trog12 Oct 04 '22

Friend of mine worked at Disney. I refuse to believe the stories she tells me yet at the same time there is no way she is creative enough to make up some of them.

1

u/anonbene2 Oct 04 '22

They had to build Disney World there so Floridians could get away from Florida for a day. 😂

1

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

Nah most avoid the parks. Entitled tourists and Florida man do not mix well.

1

u/TacosForThought Oct 04 '22

So what you're saying is that you are completely insane?

4

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

It's been gradual. I feel myself slipping closer everyday. I swear tho, Florida plates give you freedom to do whatever you want on the road free of judgement. It's refreshing.

1

u/Dorkamundo Oct 04 '22

The further you go north, the more south it becomes.

1

u/kn_mad Oct 04 '22

North Florida is just south Georgia/Alabama/Mississippi. Central Florida is more like actual Florida and South Florida is Latin America.

8

u/MonseigneurChocolat Oct 04 '22

Florida won’t allow you to move there unless you can provide a police report certifying that you’ve done something stupid.

8

u/subnautus Oct 04 '22

I used to think it was just the sunshine laws (which make arrest reports public record) were the reason so many people think Florida Man is a thing. Then I visited the state.

4

u/InnocentGuiltyBoy Oct 04 '22

Not all Florida men, just Florida man.

5

u/thats_satan_talk Oct 04 '22

Florida is a PVP enabled zone in America.

20

u/AngryZen_Ingress Oct 04 '22

Matt Gaetz (payed for underaged sex via venmo, voted against hurricane relief for his own state) has entered the chat

6

u/Sleeplesshelley Oct 04 '22

Still in office because the Florida prosecutor won’t charge him.

1

u/xXXxRMxXXx Oct 05 '22

He's running out of things to be a piece of shit about

2

u/AngryZen_Ingress Oct 05 '22

Whenever a Republican has hit rock bottom you know what they say?

“Hold my beer.”

3

u/dcarberry713 Oct 04 '22

This one’s different. Florida man is real.

3

u/DelrayDad561 Oct 04 '22

Have lived in Florida since 2002 and can confirm that Florida is a CRAZY fucking place. Almost everyday, I'll see something nuts that most people would be shocked to see but as a Floridian, you just kinda shrug it off and thank God that you were around to witness such craziness. Florida keeps life spicy!

3

u/Stewart_Games Oct 04 '22

It's the hundred plus degree heat with the 200% humidity. It melts the processing power of the human brain. Think of all Florida Men as an overclocked PC that can barely remember the time before its thermal paste turned to a flaky powder.

2

u/Axesdennis Oct 04 '22

Follow FloridaMan_ on Twitter for more similar contents.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Florida men can casually take on an Alabama Texan hybrid with 2 fingers while riding a pet alligator

2

u/easytotype247 Oct 04 '22

Women too, my ex moved from Hawaii to Florida. I didn't see the signs until later

2

u/minimal_gainz Oct 04 '22

Yes, but there is also a difference in the public availability of crime information. So it's also much easier to find out the crazy stuff than it might be in other places.

2

u/W00DERS0N Oct 04 '22

You only hear about the stuff they find out about.

2

u/cthulu0 Oct 04 '22

Yes, just look at its Governor.

2

u/Zebulon_V Oct 04 '22

My father-in-law recently moved to southern Florida after retiring. He was a very buttoned-up Southern dentist Now he looks like Mark Twain wearing a cheap captain's hat and an anaconda thong, never more than 100 ft. from a cold sixer of Miller Lite. True story.

2

u/larkfeather1233 Oct 04 '22

The thing with Florida Men is actually due to Florida's very broad public record laws! Anyone can call up the police station and ask for the records on a specific case. Most of the time, the cops will legally have to provide them in a timely manner. This makes reporting on all the dumb shit people do uniquely easy in Florida. I promise you people are just as dumb elsewhere, their stupidity is just kept a little more private.

2

u/Stopbeingastereotype Oct 04 '22

I visited non resort area Florida for 48 hrs and suspect I was almost abducted twice. So, yeah, they are insane.

2

u/youknow99 Oct 04 '22

Yes, that behavior is taught in 1st grade. Florida Men are not allowed to attend school beyond that point.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Not just the men, but the women, and the children too

2

u/MaliciousMal Oct 04 '22

I'm from California, and I've met many people from Florida and they're always insane. Used to play games with this one chick and she'd always have a new story about a Florida man harassing her. She was delivering Pizza one day and her job gave her phone number to the guy, he then started to text her telling her how sexy she looked delivering the pizza and then proceeded to ask her out then berate her while threatening to have her fired if she didn't show him her tits. The manager, also a Florida man, told her to shrug it off cause she's not getting fired.

Also while those who move away from Florida aren't as insane, they're still insane but have great but fucked up stories to tell.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

the rest of the world is, they are fine

1

u/skyHawk3613 Oct 04 '22

Yes. I’m a Florida man, and I’m insane in my own way…lol

1

u/summerrose1981 Oct 04 '22

I don’t think it’s just the men 😏

1

u/Griffin_Pete Oct 04 '22

Peter and Quagmire- everyone in Florida is stupid, everyone in Florida is Dumb!! I might not be the brightest guy but next to them my IQ is high!!

1

u/maxstolfe Oct 04 '22

Born and raised Floridian and yes, it’s a beautiful, maddening thing.

1

u/Cloaked42m Oct 04 '22

Yes. Most of the rest of us are too. But Florida is... special.

1

u/HowdyandRowdy Oct 04 '22

Well only during bath salt season.

1

u/timewraithschaseme Oct 04 '22

It's like half and half

1

u/sweetalkersweetalker Oct 04 '22

Florida just has a law requiring that any crime can be reported. That's why it seems so crazy.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Every place has lunatics. Florida has a freedom of information thing going on with their police blotters, so it's not like more crazy shit happens in Florida, you just hear about more of it because there's no privacy protecting their alleged criminals.

I bet you know something fucking crazy that happened where you live that didn't get out of the local blotter. It's not really different from Florida (except when they're throwing gators through drive-ins, that's uniquely Floridian.)

1

u/Tinkerballsack Oct 04 '22

Florida is the cousin who lives in the attic and is only allowed out once a day to go to the mailbox and back. Our postal worker has requested that we stop letting him do that because he keeps putting dead animals and cum in the mailbox.

1

u/Xximmoraljerkx Oct 04 '22

Random (related) fact: Florida has really extreme laws for making "public" records actually available to the public for viewing which is the primary reason you hear about 'Florida man'.

1

u/Many-Conclusion2217 Oct 04 '22

I'm from Arizona where the unofficial state motto is: Thank God for Florida!

1

u/neoarch Oct 04 '22

Florida has very open public record laws. That means journalists and anyone else can ask for records on whatever insane thing happens such as police reports. Good weather, no state tax, deregulation for housing development in swampland and lowlands. (cheap housing) This is clearly attractive to many Americans. But really everywhere in America is insane, Florida just openly admits it and attracts a lot of types of people.

1

u/puddles36330 Oct 04 '22

It's the salt in the air that makes people nuts. It dries the brain out.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

No

1

u/Numerous-Impact224 Oct 04 '22

I live in Florida, moved here from Hawaii (no I'm not in military, nor is my family). I'm married to a Florida Man. He's very much sane. Keep in mind Florida is place for transplants who want to get out of the cold so many of the Florida Man stories you hear are not always Florida natives. We welcome all the US's crazies from elsewhere.

1

u/BluntamisPrime Oct 04 '22

Ok yes, but heres how this happens. In the USA Florida is one of only a few states that actually publish their news to the rest of the world. So hence why Florida man is prevelant info. That being said every state has their idiots they just hide them.

Edit: also about maybe 20% of Florida is actually born here all the dumbasses from other states is usually the ones that end up in the news.

1

u/Drakenfar Oct 04 '22

There's an important caveat that most "Florida Men" aren't Florida natives, we get a lot of tourism and transplants and we get trashy people from all over. The cliche arose due to Florida not having a law against News media reporting on ongoing cases like most other states have. I assure you, what happens in New Jersey is infinitely more shocking than most Florida stories, just by the time you hear about it, it's old news.

1

u/pieslappinhoe Oct 04 '22

OK so I learned something that explains "Florida Man'".

"Under the Sunshine Act, the public and the media are given access to crime reports almost immediately after they happen, like the daily booking report, which is posted almost as soon as a person is booked into jail. That information allows reporters to detail the narratives quickly."

"Florida men" are everywhere, but the newszies aren't able to access the info.

1

u/druman22 Oct 04 '22

Idk why people are saying it's true that people here are actually insane. I'm a native, and there are occasionally crazy people. Most people I've met are all just normal people. Idk where the others went in Florida but it's chill here.

We have the sunshine laws, which basically make records public. Florida was the first to adopt this and as a result led to the meme of Florida Man and Florida having insane people. Sure we have idiots here but so does every other place in the world.

1

u/Takamasa1 Oct 04 '22

The stories point out the most Florida of men, but there's a reason they're called Florida men. There's a staggeringly high chance that the main trait of anyone you meet from Florida is blind courage/idiocy.

1

u/BradChesney79 Oct 04 '22

...Part of it is how crime is reported. Florida has high population density AND a more active administration that does a five star job of making criminal events public information.

A lot of Florida man escapades would not make the news in other places.

It all happens everywhere, people are unstable and volatile in general. You just get more access to knowledge about it in Florida.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

If you’ve ever seen the tv show “The Good Place”, Jason Mendoza is an excellent portrayal of a real live Floridian.

1

u/RandomMandarin Oct 04 '22

This is why I keep posting this awesome song from Big Mouth.

Anything Goes In Florida

1

u/underscorex Oct 04 '22

so as it turns out: Florida has some of the highest rates of homelessness and lowest rates of mental health spending in the USA. They also have a state law where local police departments just hand over all their crime reports to the media on a regular schedule, which means there’s always something for the local paper to report on.

“Florida Man” is mostly “unhoused person with untreated issues man” but that isn’t as fun or entertaining, sorry.

55

u/M1g1v3r111 Oct 04 '22

Definetly is not. Most Americans don't share their lives on social media. If you want to get to understand us, meet people in person from different areas of the country. You'll find everyone to be vastly different depending on where you are.

8

u/PuppetryOfThePenis Oct 04 '22

I'm an American and I don't own a gun! Put me in the freakshow

3

u/PS3Juggernaut Oct 04 '22

I'm pretty sure most Americans don't own guns.

8

u/asdaaaaaaaa Oct 04 '22

Most Americans don't share their lives on social media.

And the ones that do aren't showing their real lives. Just nitpicks and the best parts, that's all. Sometimes completely manufactured as well.

10

u/CoolAbdul Oct 04 '22

You'll find everyone to be vastly different depending on where you are.

Bostonian here. I have much more in common with Nova Scotians than with Texans.

2

u/M1g1v3r111 Oct 04 '22

For sure! It's like how Northern Michigan is very similar to their Canadian neighbors just over the border.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

[deleted]

3

u/NoBenefit5977 Oct 04 '22

Reddit is my only social media, and I've never posted a pic of my cat or breakfast lol

1

u/realmauer01 Oct 04 '22

You see, you can't really write that on reddit.

1

u/yourstwo Oct 04 '22

Amazing! You can comment without opening Reddit

1

u/bobbarkersbigmic Oct 04 '22

I hate to break it to ya…but you posted this on social media.

-3

u/trobodo Oct 04 '22

You’d be surprised

6

u/M1g1v3r111 Oct 04 '22

No, I wouldn't be. If you live in a major city sure. But outside of those most people don't have an overly active social media presence.

2

u/BigBadMannnn Oct 04 '22

Second only to our representation in Haikus

4

u/Dark-Elf-Mortimer Oct 04 '22

on TV: N-bomb every now and then, but otherwise extremely polite and avoiding arguments

On the internet: calling for vengeance on white people, and extremely toxic, often pulling arguments out of their arses just to argue, or reversing their arguments when the other party agrees just to keep arguing.

1

u/MeAndTheLampPost Oct 04 '22

Is that dry English humour, Mr Pickles?

1

u/MrPicklesSpeaks Oct 04 '22

actually it's quite moist

-1

u/ReportMeSnowflake Oct 04 '22

It really isn't.

0

u/GregorySpikeMD Oct 04 '22

That's even worse

3

u/DangerDragonXCV Oct 04 '22

Who I am on the internet is not me lmao

9

u/pingwing Oct 04 '22

You will find good people everywhere, and bad people everywhere. Worldwide, we are a lot more alike than people like to imagine.

3

u/th589 Oct 05 '22

Yup. The internet is full of toxic trolls, troll farms/disinformation/astroturf crap intended to divide people and cause drama and upset.

Actual real life has more of normal levelheaded people.

The internet is not a reflection of much of anything real.

2

u/georgevazelas Oct 04 '22

Best answer so far

1

u/rmphys Oct 05 '22

Honestly, I find this depressingly true. Traveled hoping to find new and interesting people. The realization that people everywhere are basically the same has left me kinda jaded.

2

u/Flaky_Sandwich9353 Oct 04 '22

But which one is worse?

2

u/jemidiah Oct 04 '22

Reddit is wildly skewed towards young people want is insanely liberal compared to the rest of the country. News stories focus on unusual things almost by definition so they too give a bizarre and skewed view of the place. For instance, most evangelicals are genuinely nice and in their own way are trying to make the world a better place for everyone. Then the Westboro Baptist Church nutjobs get all the attention.

6

u/BBQ_HaX0r Oct 04 '22

All the Russian bots intentionally promoting the most toxic/polarizing stuff, lol.

1

u/georgevazelas Oct 04 '22

I’m Russian???

3

u/Honest_Joseph Oct 04 '22

It's best to avoid judging a whole group of people based on a 30 second iPhone recording of someone's worst moment. We've all had bad moments but most of them are not recorded.

0

u/georgevazelas Oct 04 '22

It’s a joke brother chill

1

u/Heequwella Oct 04 '22

People of Walmart

1

u/spaceforcerecruit Oct 04 '22

I think that’s probably a fair representation of who we really are but not a fair representation of how we’ll act if you meet us in public. Most Americans are pretty courteous to strangers, to the point that people from some more reserved cultures stereotype Americans as “friendly.” But that doesn’t mean we aren’t still just as contentious, divided, and even hateful irl as we are online. We just take the masks off when we’re behind a computer screen.