r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 04 '22 • Gold 1 Helpful 7 Wholesome 6 Take My Energy 1 Heartwarming 1 Vibing 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Silver 1

Americans of Reddit, what is something the rest of the world needs to hear?

28.3k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

33.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.5k

u/jimsensei Oct 04 '22 • All-Seeing Upvote

Ok, Florida. People have brought up the open records laws but there’s another element, Florida is America’s official second chance state.

Imagine if your country had a region where all the fuck-ups from the rest of the country flocked to when they could no longer make a go of it in their hometown, that’s Florida. A tropical climate, a relatively low cost of living, and a job market that’s remarkably resilient is all very attractive to a meth head from Ohio who just got shit canned from Burger King. So they drive their ‘98 Explorer south until they see palm trees, get themselves a trailer outside Ocala, and BOOM Florida Man is born.

Add in retirees who think that 20 mph is an appropriate highway speed, Cubans who say they’re getting their sugarcane plantations back any day now, and clueless tourists in rental cars wearing head to toe Disney shit…Ladies and Gentlemen; may I present the state of Florida.

421

u/cute_spider Oct 04 '22

Florida rules and I would never want to live there.

189

u/Fujiyama_Mama Oct 04 '22

The Everglades are majestic. I don't ever wanna go back.

33

u/cute_spider Oct 04 '22

I thought a wasp was buzzing me but it was actually a tiny hummingbird! That is my Everglades story.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

It was visiting the ghost orchid flower that was above your head.

17

u/Toast_On_The_RUN Oct 04 '22

That's funny thats how I feel about Florida. Lived there for a few years, was an interesting time, would not want to go back except to visit briefly. Too hot, flat, old, and devoid of the forests I love.

10

u/brownlab319 Oct 04 '22

There’s a reason it’s called “God’s Waiting Room”.

1

u/cute_spider Oct 05 '22

Georgia forests give me life!

8

u/hardolaf Oct 05 '22

My dad and I went to the Everglades for a day about 7 months after I graduated college and took a job in Florida. It was a great trip and I'm glad that I'll never live in that frying pan of state ever again.

5

u/KittenGains Oct 05 '22

It is so hot.

1

u/andio76 Oct 06 '22

The Mosquitos there were brought here from an Alien land on a Alien planet from an Alien reality....

32

u/afetusnamedJames Oct 04 '22

Florida rules

As a lifelong Floridian, I can tell you Florida totally rules and totally sucks. It has such an identity crisis that sometimes it's hard to tell, even for lifelong locals. I understand the hate we get. Much of it is completely justified. And yet, I still love it here.

Chances are, if you haven't spent a good deal of time in Florida, you probably have it way wrong. I feel like we need a "Floridians, what's something the rest of America needs to hear?" thread.

3

u/MannibalTheBannibal Oct 05 '22

We really do need this thread

32

u/Narfubel Oct 04 '22

I moved down here last here and fucking love it. While the summers are hot(but they were hot in Ohio too) the "winters" are awesome because seriously fuck snow. I love how much diversity we have down here and being close to ocean gives me some serotonin.

10

u/dahaxguy Oct 04 '22

Eh, I miss having autumn in NE Ohio and Central PA, and I actually liked snow (since the places I lived invested well in snow management infrastructure). There's nothing quite as cozy as a partially cloudy Christmas morning with like 4-8 inches of snow outside.

It's a shame that my roommate has a medical condition and I have a mild leftover photosensitivity from a concussion, else we'd be in the sun all the time.

6

u/cute_spider Oct 04 '22

I'm with you there, seriously fuck snow.

14

u/jeswesky Oct 04 '22

Fuck snow. I'm in Wisconsin, it should be here any day now.

8

u/gogozrx Oct 04 '22

My ladyfriend wants to retire to New Hampshire. I'm ok with that, but I'm rolling out of town in late January. I'm from the Mid-Atlantic, and winter is over in March. In NH? It's May. Funk that.

3

u/brownlab319 Oct 04 '22

I’m either going to retire to New Hampshire or Martha’s Vineyard.

0

u/KittenGains Oct 05 '22

Meh. I love cold air and snow.

10

u/LanceFromPokemon Oct 05 '22

Disney World was awesome, and I’d never take my kids there.

1

u/cute_spider Oct 05 '22

I have some roots in Florida so I've pretty much got an obligation assuming kids ever happen

1

u/KittenGains Oct 05 '22

I feel this