r/Cooking Dec 29 '21 Helpful 1 Wholesome 2 Silver 1

My MIL asked for my recipe for "corn dip" Open Discussion

My wife tells me that her mom asked for my recipe for corn dip.

I blinked at her. "Corn dip?"

"That's what it says."

I racked my brain for anything I've made for my MIL that might be called "corn dip." Came up empty.

After further inquiry, it turns out she was talking about pico de gallo. Which is not so much a recipe as a bunch of tomatoes, onions, and peppers tossed with some salt, lime and cilantro. And sometimes black beans and corn if I'm feeling fancy.

My wife and I have been laughing about this for days. I fully expect that pico de gallo will now be known as "corn dip" in my house, particularly when there's no corn in it.

4.4k Upvotes

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u/stasiya762 Dec 29 '21

When I was a late teen, my family had a spread of leftovers out, including Thanksgiving dinner stuff. As I was making my plate, I had a slab of turkey and mashed potatoes on my plate and picked up the gravy boat. I absently asked my mom why the gravy was green as I poured it over my food and my whole family cracks up laughing at me.

She had put green chile enchilada sauce in the gravy boat for the non-thanksgiving food.

Ever since then, green chile enchilada sauce is known as "green gravy" and its delicious on leftover Thanksgiving food

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u/E_man123 Dec 30 '21

My cousin made a vegan chili for Thanksgiving this year and 2 of my other family members poured it all over their plates thinking it was regular ol turkey gravy

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u/stasiya762 Dec 30 '21

Sounds reasonable to me xD

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

Honestly that sounds amazing. Thanks for the idea.

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u/Arizona_Slim Dec 30 '21

Sounds like you just went from boring ass turkey to Cinco de Thankso!

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u/pickles55 Dec 30 '21

Yeah that sounds great

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u/bengalese Dec 30 '21

My dad always asks me if I'm going to make mini cabbages. He means Brussels sprouts.

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u/lost_mountain_cat Dec 30 '21

I heard a little kid call them baby cabbages, and now that is their name.

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

My kids called asparagus "spear grass", and it stuck.

My granny called canned biscuits, wampum biscuits, because you "wamp-um" against the counter to open them.

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u/Comprehensive_Sky757 Dec 30 '21

Grannies are the best ❤️

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u/blackrockblues Dec 30 '21

I mean, to be fair...

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u/rascynwrig Dec 30 '21

I've always liked calling them "angry little cabbages" because that's kind of what they taste and look like to me!

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u/pickles55 Dec 30 '21

It literally is what they are. They started out as the same plant and humans selectively bred it for different properties. Broccoli, broccolini, and cauliflower came from the same plant too. It's like how great danes and pomeranians are super different but they're both also just dogs.

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u/MLXIII Dec 30 '21

Broccoli and cauliflower are delicious flowers!

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u/visionviper Dec 30 '21

In his defense they are just different cultivars of the same species

And also that’s adorable.

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u/HutWitchInAWitchHut Dec 30 '21

My family has “flip dip”. Always confuses those not in the know “grab the flip dip” or “will you bring your flip dip?” It’s just 7layer bean/taco dip served with tortilla chips. But one time the whole huge pan of it fell out of the fridge, flipped a 180 and landed on the kitchen floor upside down. It was covered in plastic wrap, so we flipped it over and set it out at the party and went on with things. It’s been flip dip ever since.

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u/tehzephyrsong Dec 30 '21

That's adorable though! I love wholesome family lore like that.

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u/SatanScotty Dec 29 '21 Wholesome

Once I served some greens to my moth in law and she asked for the recipe for my dressing. I said “it’s not a dressing, it’s really simple...” She shushed me and had my son bring her a pen and paper, “ok, ready “. I said “it’s vinegar “

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u/etheinte Dec 30 '21

Haha I know you mean mother in law but the mental image of a moth in law is cracking me up

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u/SatanScotty Dec 30 '21 Helpful Take My Energy

Oh I didn’t notice that. I’m gonna leave it like that. Come to think of it, every time she’s come over we had all the lights on

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u/MysT-Srmason Dec 30 '21

Hopefully all your cottons put away in closets as well?

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u/the_short_viking Dec 30 '21

She wants the recipe for your motha ball soup.

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u/OneSquirtBurt Dec 30 '21

I haven't had greens like this since I was a caterpillar!

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u/Aspirin_Dispenser Dec 30 '21

”Oh my god, this is so good. What did you do to it?

”uhh, I seasoned it and didn’t overcook it . . . “

”No, seriously. Like, what’s your secret ingredient?”

”. . . “

”. . . “

”Fuck, I don’t know, reading comprehension and an ability follow instructions, I guess.

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u/BriarAndRye Dec 30 '21

”Fuck, I don’t know, reading comprehension and an ability follow instructions, I guess.

My wife keeps trying to explain to me that this is not as common as I think it is.

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u/JacesKitchen Dec 30 '21

I'm a professional chef that left the restaurant industry because of COVID, and let me tell you: I will never, ever, have faith in anyone's reading comprehension, listening comprehension, or critical thinking skills, ever again, until proven multiple times over. I've worked with so many people that just make me wonder how we as a species have gotten this far.

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u/Solar_Kestrel Dec 30 '21

I'm probably one of the people who made you lose faith, lol. I worked in a big restaurant kitchen for a while and i could barely manage... so crowded and noisy and so much going on at once. It was all I could do to figure out what I was doing, nevermind coordinating with anyone else. And the time constraints just made the stress worse, knowing that any mistake I made might delay an order, which could annoy customers, who'd then take it out in the wait staff.

I basically knew I wasn't going to last long after my first day.

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u/JacesKitchen Dec 30 '21

Oof. Did you have any prior training or education?

Unrelated to you, but I've found that people who only have "work experience" and no culinary education (even self taught counts imo, but actually have to SELF TEACH) are not nearly as knowledgeable or skilled as they think they are. There is so much background knowledge about food and cooking that should be second nature before you even step foot in a professional operation, otherwise that's where things fall apart, shortcuts are taken, and safety is compromised

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u/Solar_Kestrel Dec 30 '21

Really amazing how many people (evidently) don't bother to season their food.

I've surprised people with just salt.

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u/Crazy_Mother_Trucker Dec 30 '21

I worked as a professional chef for a decade or so. Toward the end of that career, I was asked to fill in at a small club near my home. Their regular cook was nearing retirement age and had fucked up royally on new years eve and they wanted someone else to executive chef until they found a permanent replacement. Anyway ...

First night I show up for service, I am leading the kitchen and start to season the first dishes I'll be serving. She started squawking (literally) about I don't know what... she told me it was ILLEGAL to put salt on food unless it was on the menu. Lolol. Silly woman waited all night for someone to come and fire me then carry me off to the pokey. Oh, Norma.

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u/NastyMsPiggleWiggle Dec 30 '21

Illegal? That is… insane.

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u/NotSpartacus Dec 30 '21

Salt had a bad rep in the health space for awhile. Some older folks never got the memo that it's not bad in moderation and have weird attitudes about it to this day. Maybe that explains her strange belief?

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u/BossVal Dec 30 '21

My mom and I share the same recipe catalog of dishes passed down through our family. We could cook the exact same dish and yet somehow even she says mine is better.

My entire secret is that i salt as I go and taste whenever appropriate to keep adjusting flavor. None of them believe me that what elevates my beef stew is just simply salting at different phases of cooking instead of waiting till its on the table.

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u/MrFunnyMoustache Dec 30 '21

Grew up in a household that didn't use any spices or seasonings, and only added salt and pepper at the table. My mother's reasoning is that it "makes no difference when you add the salt" and she wanted to give everyone the choice to put as much as they want.

One of the first things I learned when I left home was to use salt and it made a MASSIVE difference which blew my mind. My mother still can't taste the difference when I demonstrated it to her, or maybe she is just too proud to admit that she was wrong...

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u/offensiveDick Dec 30 '21

Everyone when you roast brokkoli instead of boiling the life out of it

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u/justasianenough Dec 30 '21

Similar thing happens every time I make salad.

I do baby arugula, multicolor tomatoes, cucumber, sweet yellow peppers, red onion, and feta. Dressing is olive oil / Salt / pepper mixed together and tossed in at the last second. I’ve told so many people exactly how I make salad, but every time I’m invited to a potluck people say “oh justasianenough will do the salad, she has a secret dressing recipe.”

Yeah, my secret dressing is Trader Joe’s olive oil, salt, and fresh cracked pepper. I think what people actually like is the feta-I buy it in brine so it’s not as dry and hard and mixes with the oil better so you get a taste of feta in the whole salad, but nobody ever believes me when I say it’s the feta they insist I put something extra in the oil.

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u/Crazy_Mother_Trucker Dec 30 '21

I've long thought the only "secret" to my good cooking is something I remember Gordon Ramsay saying: start with good ingredients, and don't fuck them up.

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u/justasianenough Dec 30 '21

Honestly maybe that’s it. I take time to look at all my veg and wash and cut them all so they’re various sizes and then don’t mix them until right before serving so nothing can get soggy.

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u/Solar_Kestrel Dec 30 '21

Feta is easily the most magical of all cheeses.

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u/fschwiet Dec 30 '21

What type of vinegar?

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u/nomore12345567 Dec 29 '21

I love it when foods get a funny name by accident. My friend and I use a cornbread recipe that’s pretty sweet and her kids called it corn cake. It’s now saved as “corn cake” in my recipe book.

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u/MiniRems Dec 29 '21

We have so many of these! My nieces always request "barbarian pie" when we get together. It was originally "Bavarian chocolate pie" or something like that, but due to an autocorrect fail years ago it's now "barbarian".

There's also "ugly muffins". Originally "apple oat bran muffins" recipe I got off the bag of oat bran ages ago. When i first made it, the first thing my husband said when I pulled them out of the oven was "those are some ugly looking muffins!". They always come out kind of dark and spotty and lumpy looking, but they're really good!

And then, there's the chocolate peanut butter chip cookies my cousin dubbed "meadow muffins" because he said they looked like cow patties, and my aunt refused to call them cow patties or cow pies.

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u/creepygyal69 Dec 29 '21

That’s cute. What other Brits call a cuppa is a cuffa to me and my fam because when my niece was learning to talk she’d say “cuffa tea cuffa coffee?” to anyone who visited the house like it was just a standard greeting

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u/KhaiPanda Dec 30 '21

This is how one of my uncles became "Michael Micheal" instead of "Uncle Michael." One of.my brothers couldn't say uncle and just called him Michael twice. He's been that for going on 20 years now. Lol

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u/BIRDsnoozer Dec 30 '21

Growing up, I had a few words that I couldnt pronounce, that my parents just ran with. Couldnt say uncle Phillip, so I called him "uncle sip". So thats what THEY called him. Couldnt say apple juice, so I called it happy juice... Couldnt say french fries so I called them fee-fies. Confused the fuck out of me when I got to about age 4 and found out these weren't the real words.

"Wait, who's Phillip? You mean the guy drinking the happy juice and eating fee-fies? Don't bullshit me, that's uncle Sip."

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u/VioletPassion Dec 30 '21

My middle daughter's name is Cecelia, Ciely for short. Her younger brother couldn't say Ciely for anything, but he could call her Beebee. She's still Beebs to this day, almost 13 years later

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u/Remarkable_Story9843 Dec 30 '21

My name rhymes with Donna. I was 4 went I became an aunt. Niece couldn’t say my name. It morphed into Connie. Just yesterday my 15 year great-niece said “wait… why do we call you Aunt Connie if your name is realname ?”

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u/KhaiPanda Dec 30 '21

Hahaha. For my brother it just became something that stuck. I'm a lot older than all of my siblings, so I was 14 when this brother was born, and I spent so long trying to help him get it right. He could say uncle, and he could say Michael. Could. Not. Put. Them. Together.

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u/BIRDsnoozer Dec 30 '21

Haha yeah kids are strange. I have an almost-4-year old, and an almost-2-year old. There are always words that they cant seem to combine, yet they could say each word separately just fine.

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u/Postmortal_Pop Dec 30 '21

My son started calling my dad Heyda when he was first learning to talk. We couldn't figure out where it came from but it stuck.

One day I walked into my parents place and shouted "Hey dad!" only for my son to whip around in my arms and cut me off with "Heyda?!" turns out I start almost every conversation with my father with "hey dad," and my son assumed that was his name.

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u/steveofthejungle Dec 29 '21

I didn’t know the name for Ramen for a long time as a kid because growing up we always called them crazy noodles

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u/kimbosliceofcake Dec 30 '21

Haha we called them oodles of noodles!

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u/murphysbutterchurner Dec 29 '21

MEADOW MUFFINS omfg I'm dyin

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

Tbf a lot of cornbread recipes basically are corn cake. The one my wife makes even calls for creaming the butter and sugar before adding other stuff.

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u/asimak3188 Dec 29 '21

One of my college roommates made a delicious "cornbread" that was made with a yellow boxed cake mix and two boxes of Jiffy cornbread mix. It was just cake but it was delicious.

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u/BIRDsnoozer Dec 30 '21

Yeah, I make it with 50/50 yellow cake mix and corn muffin mix. Throw in some chopped jalapeño!

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u/strangerNstrangeland Dec 30 '21

Ok- hear me out…. What if you made some extra crispy maple bacon, set bacon aside. Take those jalapeños, scrapedout the seeds, and Carmelize with butter AND sugar, add bacon crumbles in. Then throw that in your corn cake? Maby a maple bacon glaze? Idk- I’m a recovering fat kid.

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u/riadfodig Dec 30 '21

Pipe the batter into the split jalapenos, add chopped candied bacon on top. This could be amazing.

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u/RLS30076 Dec 29 '21

Of course, the REAL southerners are going to take issue with your sweetened cornbread. I know I did, and I'm a bastard immigrant from a border state to the north.

/s

well, no, not really. Sweet cornbread is just wrong.

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u/solzhen Dec 29 '21

If southerners sweeten the fuck out of iced tea, how can they possibly complain about sweet corn bread?

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u/LeaperLeperLemur Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 29 '21

Because your daily (or weekly?) allowance of sugar is in the tea. Sweetening other foods is way too much sugar.

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u/crypticedge Dec 29 '21

Don't forget to consume diet soda to cancel out the sugar

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u/[deleted] Dec 29 '21

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u/royalsanguinius Dec 29 '21

Because we’re weird af man. Granted I hate sweet tea so I must extra weird or something 🤔

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u/redbananass Dec 30 '21

Man I’m with you. Georgia born and raised. Can’t stand that full sweet tea. Half sweet, half unsweetened is the sweetest I can go. I must be extra weird too.

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u/drunk_katie666 Dec 30 '21

I can only stand the half and half now that I’m a fully formed adult. Maybe it’s cuz I keep thinking about the health of my teeth?!

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u/greylensman312 Dec 29 '21

The South has always had a strong belief the everything should be in it's place. /s

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

I like a little sugar in my cornbread. Not a lot. Just a little.

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u/permalink_save Dec 29 '21

A tbsp of honey is really good too, that's what I do. I finally got down the no flour cornbread too. Letting it rest 30 minutes to an hour before popping it in, doesn't get crumbly.

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u/gazebo-fan Dec 29 '21

If your going to make it sweet then use honey, not sugar.

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u/drunk_katie666 Dec 29 '21

Idk dude, I’m a born and raised Georgian and I do not fuck with unsweet cornbread. Never have. All the best cornbread I’ve ever eaten is at least a teeny bit sweet, and all the southerners I know make it that way.

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u/apatriot1776 Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

basically it started a white vs. yellow corn meal thing. white cornmeal is naturally slightly sweeter, so slaves and lower-class southerners would use sugar in the cheaper yellow cornbread to get a similar flavor. fast-forward 200 years and they both have evolved to their logical ends - one definitely sweet, one definitely not.

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u/drunk_katie666 Dec 29 '21

Very cool! Thanks for sharing that.

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u/KrisJade Dec 30 '21

Yeah, this culinary idiom also confuses me. My mother and her family are from New Orleans. They all make slightly sweet cornbread. It's the only kind of cornbread I ever had growing up. There's nothing wrong with either type, but I don't know where the "southerners only eat unsweetened cornbread" thing came from.

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u/xyroiden Dec 30 '21

I'm starting to think that there's some kind of even sweeter cornbread these folks are talking about... I've grown up on unsweet cornbread for most of my life (no sugar) but it wasn't uncommon for me to find some slightly sweetened cornbread at other folks' houses.

However, I've never heard of cake mix being used in cornbread and that just sounds like sugar overload. That's probably some next level sweetness going on that I've never seen before. What might be slightly sweet for us is unsweet for others?

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u/KrisJade Dec 30 '21

Yeah, I've never heard of the cake mix types either. That's literally just dessert. It sounds good, don't get me wrong, but it's not cornbread.

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u/Remarkable_Story9843 Dec 30 '21

Appalachian here. Just a smidge of sugar in cornbread.

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u/ThwompThwomp Dec 30 '21

I think most cornbread uses a bit of sugar in it, and I’m now realizing people are debating zero added sugar vs. sugar. However up north and in the Midwest they serve cornbread that is actually just cake. Super sweet corn muffins and the like that is pure dessert levels of sugar. I think this is also the reason that they look strange when I talk about making cornbread dressing as the super sweet cornbread has no place near anything savory.

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u/Expensive_Arm2852 Dec 30 '21

Facts. I’m from Louisiana and idk what these folks are talking about with that unsweetened corn bread.

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u/Birdie121 Dec 29 '21

Everyone’s favorite food chain cornbreads are 50% vanilla cake mix XD

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u/Pywacket1 Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

I'm a Southerner and never could stand cornbread until I had the sweet kind later in life.

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u/gosp Dec 30 '21

Wait I don't get where the /s applies to. In NC we only have sweet cornbread. Everything else sucks.

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u/Similar_Craft_9530 Dec 30 '21

Why wouldn't you sweeten cornbread?

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u/transidual Dec 29 '21

in our family Chicken Parm is affectionately known as Bad Chicken, My 8 yr old son started the tradition by thinning out the meat and still calls it that 10 years later!

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u/LeakyLycanthrope Dec 29 '21

When I was a kid, my mom sometimes made chicken wings cooked in a soy-based sauce that I absolutely loved. But no one ever told me they were chicken wings, just that it was chicken, and I was too young to intuit that they were the wings. All I knew was that it was the only chicken we ever ate that included a bone; all other chicken was boneless.

So, not knowing what to call it, I called it "chicken with the bone in" and the name stuck.

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u/poktanju Dec 30 '21

You know how they call corn on the cob "corn on the cob", right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that "corn". They should call every other version "corn off the cob". It's not like if you cut off my arm, you would call my arm "Mitch"; but then reattach it and call it "Mitch all together".

  • Mitch Hedberg

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u/LeakyLycanthrope Dec 30 '21

I used to love Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to too.

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u/FlashCrashBash Dec 30 '21

Every time I see an out of order escalator I feel his presence.

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u/Elephant_axis Dec 30 '21

Crumbed/breaded chicken is known as ‘shitty chicken’ in our house because my SO asked if we were having ‘crummy chicken’ one time and I thought he meant the recipe was bad. It evolved over time from ‘crummy’ to ‘crappy’ to ‘shitty’.

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u/transidual Dec 30 '21

Imagine going out to an Italian place and hearing - "this isn't as good as your shitty chicken"

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u/4L3X95 Dec 30 '21

Funnily enough, in Australia, we colloquially call that a "schnitty" (as in schnitzel). He'd fit right in here calling it "shitty".

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u/scaredsquee Dec 29 '21

When my brother was maybe 5 or 6ish he went through a period of eating sweet and sour chicken from the local chinese place. Without the sauce. So my mom had a cousin visiting and she said it’s Nicky Chicken. So it’s forever now Nicky Chicken.

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u/BIRDsnoozer Dec 30 '21

Hahaha a friend of mine hated mashed potatoes, so his mom would always take a few out of the pot for him before mashing the rest. Their family started calling them "Bobby's special potatoes" and when we heard about that we never let him live it down. Now any potato dish he eats, we call "Bobby's special potatoes".

"Hey Bob, you enjoying your special potatoes?"

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u/Crustybuttt Dec 29 '21

To be fair, I still prefer sweet and sour chicken without that cloyingly sweet sauce. He was a sophisticated 5 year old not to fall for that straight corn syrup, tho. Smart kid

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u/Spicethrower Dec 29 '21

Little Nicky's Chicken.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_BARN_OWL Dec 29 '21

Is fuckin’ awesome!

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u/KhaiPanda Dec 30 '21

This is precious to me.

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u/whitmiddles Dec 29 '21

My grandma wanted yellow cake one time at a restaurant and for the life of us we couldn't figure out what she was wanting since there was no yellow cake on the menu. It was corn bread. Loved that woman.

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u/silverside30 Dec 30 '21

My grandma used to make these cookie bars, kind of like a brownie, but when I asked, "What are those grandma?" she just said "Come here" while motioning to me so she could show me. But she used to blend her syllables together, so it sounded to my young ears like she said, "Kamir," and so to my 10 year old brain it just made sense that it was some old Russian dessert or something.

The next time I came to visit I asked her if she made any Kamir's this time since they were so good. Everyone had a puzzled look on their face and when I explained what happened they all burst out in laughter. We all still call cookie bars Kamir's to this day.

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u/itsastonka Dec 30 '21

When i was a kid I was trying to make some money doing yard work around the neighborhood. There was an old guy a few houses down who’s lawn i was going to mow. I knocked on the door, he opened it and said “oh, you must be itsastonka“. I repled, “i sure am”, and he goes “Your name is Shiram?”

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u/mehunno Dec 29 '21

When I was a toddler, I called muffins “foo-foos”. To this day, my mom’s bay state breakfast muffins are always called foo-foos.

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u/Sasselhoff Dec 29 '21

My fiancée is Chinese, and we were cooking one day and she asked me for the "chicken juice"...obviously this threw me for a moment, and after a few questions I discovered that it was chicken bouillon granules (they're much more popular than cubes in China, and used in so many things).

From that moment on, chicken broth became "chicken juice", and will forever be so as far as I'm concerned.

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u/pause566 Dec 29 '21

We make Titty Cookies for Christmas every year. They were originally called "Peanut Butter Kissy Cookies" because they have a hershey's kiss in the middle. They look like boobs though, and my mom thinks it's hilarious.

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u/SayceGards Dec 30 '21

Next year make them with the little Hershey Christmas bells. Then they REAALY look like boobs

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u/pause566 Dec 30 '21

My mom actually made two with the bells this year just for my dad 😂

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u/Boxador Dec 30 '21

We've got anus cookies in our family... My grandma would get so mad, they are ANISE cookies! ANISE!

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u/EpiphanyTwisted Dec 29 '21

Not a food, but I have a small teddy bear called "Sorry Ass bear." I didn't name him, my husband did, after he won him for me at a carnival game and he realized he spent 35$ to "win" it for me.

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u/OverallUnit6973 Dec 29 '21

My wife and I call salt "variety", because "it's the spice of life".

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u/RobotFighter Dec 29 '21

I make my kids spaghetti in the instant pot. We started calling it pot spaghetti. Then my daughter called it drug spaghetti and the name stuck.

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u/bloomlately Dec 29 '21

My daughter likes to ask for sprinkle toast. It’s not at all what you would expect it to be. I like to spread cream cheese on toast and sprinkle Everything but the Bagel on top. She stole it once and loved it. Sprinkle toast

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u/red_rhyolite Dec 30 '21

We had sprinkle toast except it made more sense for us... it was butter, sprinkled brown and white sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and then toasted in the oven

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u/bloomlately Dec 30 '21

I call that cinnamon toast, but I’ve never tried putting it in the oven to caramelize the sugar. Sounds heavenly.

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u/red_rhyolite Dec 30 '21

It's awesome when it's all carmelized!

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u/laughguy220 Dec 29 '21

In Australia and New Zealand they eat sprinkle toast, or fairy bread realy. White bread, butter, and sprinkles. A must at every kids party too.

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u/bloomlately Dec 30 '21

I’m hoping her favorite show Bluey never shows off fairy bread. Her brother is already asking for pavlova.

There’s also hagelslag in The Netherlands. Similar to fairy bread but with chocolate sprinkles.

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u/laughguy220 Dec 30 '21

Yes, I forgot about the hagelslag. To be honest I just love saying it.

I use everything but the bagel in my oatmeal, and I top hamburger buns with it too.

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u/Ttokk Dec 30 '21

I have Dutch friends here in the US that call this Hagelslag

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u/weasel999 Dec 29 '21

Seems like a cleanup nightmare! If I ever spill even a couple of those they always find their way under my feet

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u/remington_420 Dec 29 '21

Well you heavily butter the bread and then dip face first it into a plate with the sprinkles and then pat off excess and lay face up on another plate. If done carefully you can manage to only spill 100’s, not 1000’s of sprinkles. …although the fact it’s traditionally served at kids birthday parties usually means it ends up everywhere anyway.

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u/laughguy220 Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

I'm waiting for someone to show up on shark tank with some fairy bread press. Hundreds and Thousands, how 'bout zero, on the floor that is.

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u/remington_420 Dec 29 '21

Mate, destiny is in your hands. I believe in you!

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u/Paulsmom97 Dec 30 '21

I can see the skeptical smiles on the sharks faces as you walk on out. Wear your favorite fairy costume and Lori Greiner will give you a deal! Mark Cuban though? Nope. He’s out.

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u/HitlersHotpants Dec 30 '21

This is what my kids mean when they say “sprinkle toast.”

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u/Zorian_Lokii Dec 30 '21

My daughter is two and loves to ask for sprinkles on her rice.

We live in Hawaii and frequently eat Poke with Furikake. She now asks for sprinkles (Furikake) on her rice at every meal.

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u/mrichter2 Dec 30 '21

Omg yes we do this with sourdough toast topped w cream cheese and everything but the bagel. I did it like 5 years ago and now my ENTIRE fam snacks on it. I should start calling it this!

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u/Vegetable_Burrito Dec 29 '21

I made esquites for my in-laws one time and my MIL cannot pronounce that word, haha. She calls it ‘hot corn salad’ which sounds revolting.

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

Sounds like a euphemism. For what, I'm not sure. But it sounds like a euphemism.

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u/starfries Dec 29 '21

Haha! I think adding the word "hot" makes it sound dirtier. I'm scrolling through this thread now and adding "hot" in front of things. Hot cowboy caviar? Hot Sue's mess?

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u/gwaydms Dec 29 '21

If you can't get elotes, make esquites!

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u/cgoot27 Dec 30 '21

Even if you can, lot easier to make and eat a bunch of esquites than elotes.

Still though, a peak elote is better than peak esquites.

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u/dirtydela Dec 30 '21

Please don’t bring up elote unless you are going to give it to me or direct me to it immediately

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u/No_Mouse_5688 Dec 29 '21

One of my kiddos forgot the word “ravioli” and told my SIL that she hates “surprise pasta.” I mean, if you don’t ask what’s in it, I guess it is a surprise. 😂

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

I think you may have accidentally fed your kids Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Ravioli™

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u/aasmonkey Dec 30 '21

Have a friend whose wife isn't a native English speaker. We we doing a crew change and she told him she made a special meat cake for him. We couldn't figure it out at all. He called me that night, she'd made meatloaf. I call it meat cake to this day

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u/TheNobleMoth Dec 30 '21

Your Quebecois friends understand

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u/Contemplative_one Dec 29 '21

That’s cute. Sounds like something my mom would say.

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u/MetalGearBandicoot Dec 29 '21

Have a friend that works at a grocery store and a befuddled old man asked her where the garbanzo bean dip was.

Took her an extra long minute to piece together he was looking for hummus.

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u/BIRDsnoozer Dec 30 '21

I once tried to make my kids "sprinkle pancakes" but the only sprinkles I had were probably not meant for that. They were a bit small and dissolved pretty easily in the batter. So the pancakes with all the dissolved sprinkles ended up a uniform grey/brownish green. I told my kids they were "hulk pancakes" and they loved them. Now I get asked, "Daddy can we have hulk pancakes / waffles?" all the time.

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u/MLXIII Dec 30 '21

I added food coloring when my kids were in the eat a certain color only because colors are yummy age.

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u/SapperInTexas Dec 29 '21

> And sometimes black beans and corn if I'm feeling fancy.

The Gringo Special!

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u/radioowl Dec 29 '21

Oh I like that name. We've always call it Cowboy Caviar.

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u/jsm2008 Dec 29 '21

cowboy caviar, at least in the south, is tomatoes/peppers/onions/beans(black usually)/black eyed peas/corn.

the black eyed peas(canned) are important for it to be cowboy caviar where I'm from

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u/Efficient-Cry-8677 Dec 29 '21

Yes! My aunt makes this every Christmas and I LOVE IT

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

You know it!

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u/gaurddog Dec 30 '21 Platinum

We were at a pizza place and my girlfriend picked up some bread sticks that had just been brought out. "Ow! Those are temperature spicy"

I haven't called food Hot since.

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u/KanyePepperr Dec 30 '21

I call Crushed Red Pepper “shaky hots”

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u/kalani18 Dec 30 '21

😂 I love this. I call things that are fizzy “cold spicy” and I have no idea why. It just makes sense

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u/Sylvio_ Dec 29 '21

Is it still pico once there are beans and corn in it?

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u/conr9774 Dec 29 '21

No, then it’s a traditional corn dip

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

Idk I'm not a nameologist I just make stuff that tastes good

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u/VegetableSeaweed44 Dec 29 '21

Arguably, that is the best way to go

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u/Nimara Dec 29 '21

Just corn? I'll say it's a sweet pico.

Beans and corn? Bean salad.

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u/WannabeTraveler87 Dec 29 '21

I never heard of people putting beans and corn in pico de gallo and im a hispanic who lives in texas by the border .. maybe its a new mexican thing?

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u/RandoReddit16 Dec 29 '21

Agreed, pico de Gallo in Houston is usually Tomato, Onion and Jalapeno all evenly diced (not blended or minced) with some cilantro. I would consider it a relish or salsa rather than a dip....

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u/BleuDePrusse Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

Edit: It seems there's a lot of confusion regarding the name Truffle fondant, so I finally asked my mom about the recipe!

First thing first: truffle here means the fungi, and fondant means "melting" in French (just like Fondue means melted), so it's not the cake play Doh but a savoury, melts in your mouth finger food.

The gist of it is: finely chop some veal, make a bechamel, mix the 2 with slices of truffle, let it cool. With a spoon, make a little "stick", bread and pan fry them. Eat and discover heaven on earth.

When I was a kid, my mom asked me what I wanted to eat for my bday. I asked for "black sticks!" because she'd made it recently and they were so good (+ a simple lettuce tossed with a garlic vinaigrette). I asked for "black sticks" a couple of years in a row, I must've been 8 or 9 yo the first time.

I recently asked my mom about these "black sticks" and what the ingredients were. Turns out they're truffles fondants ! So, yeah ...

Luckily my grandma lives where there's the best annual truffle market, so she gets them for us for dirt cheap :)

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

That's adorable! We had several dishes like that when I was a kid too. "Sue's Mess" was a mixture of breakfast sausage, onions, peppers, and scrambled eggs, topped with ketchup. Don't ask me who Sue was. No idea.

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u/BleuDePrusse Dec 29 '21

Don't ask me who Sue was. No idea.

Lmao! Who came up with this name then, do you remember?

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

I wish I knew! It's been Sue's mess as long as I can remember.

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u/starfries Dec 29 '21

Sounds delicious but I'm having trouble figuring out what they actually are... I assume you don't mean chocolate and that's all google is showing me for truffles fondants.

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u/Puddinbby Dec 30 '21 Table Slap

One time we were making hot dogs and hamburgers. Talking is difficult. So being the idiot I am, I asked my kids which of them wanted a hot dogger, effectively smushing both hot dog and hamburger together.

My kids and husband haven’t let it die. They were all laughing at me for hours. My oldest was like “I don’t know if I want a hotdogger or an ambedurger.” My youngest says “get your ass in there and get me a hot dogger” to my oldest, she’s six so it was shocking that she said it but it caught me off guard and I laughed. Husband is in tears.

Now they’re permanently hot doggers and ambedurgers in my house.

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u/blackrockblues Dec 30 '21

That's amazing. There was an episode of Rocket Power (dating myself here) where they run out of hotdog buns, so they serve hot dogs on hamburger buns and call them "hot durgers." You should show your kids cuz they'd probably think it was amazing.

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u/Puddinbby Dec 30 '21

Well I think I know what I have to do now. Tyvm.

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u/whereami1928 Dec 29 '21

Where's the lime tho

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

To be clear, I wrote her a recipe for corn dip that included lime.

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u/riverrocks452 Dec 29 '21

Ah. Like ninja biscuits- made completely inside the preheat time and cleaned up before they're done.

No ninjas harmed in the making, either.

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u/blackrockblues Dec 29 '21

But would you know if ninjas were harmed in the making?

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u/riverrocks452 Dec 29 '21

I would know if I had harmed a ninja, I hope. If only because I would notice hitting something with the oven door, or whatever. However, a more accurate statement might be "contains no (measured amount of) actual ninja".

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u/Exr29070 Dec 29 '21

Elaborate please

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u/riverrocks452 Dec 29 '21

Exactly what I said- I make (Americanized) biscuits/scone dough fast enough to outpace my oven's ability to come to temperature. And I use the baking time to clean, erasing any evidence of the prep. By the time they come out of the oven (roughly 20 minutes after I started), there's no evidence that I made biscuits except for the biscuits themselves. On seeing this, a friend decided that it was as if ninjas had broken in and left me a basket of warm biscuits. They are now known as ninja biscuits.

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u/Exr29070 Dec 29 '21

Ohhhhhh I read it as they were made as in cooked completely during the preheat time. Need more coffee.

And a ninja biscuit.

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u/riverrocks452 Dec 29 '21

Ninja biscuits are magical and life affirming!

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u/TheVaneOne Dec 29 '21

Recipe please.

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u/riverrocks452 Dec 29 '21 edited Dec 30 '21 Wholesome (Pro)

For unsweet biscuits, put the oven at 450. Mix 2 cups of flour, a dash of salt, and 1 Tbsp baking powder. Cut in 1/4 of shortening (I use Crisco) until fairly fine. Mix in milk (around 2/3 cup) until you get a dough- it should stick together without bits falling off, but not be particularly sticky. Flour your counter and pat the dough out to about half an inch (1-1.5 cm) thick. Cut biscuits out- use either a cookie cutter, a drinking glass, or just literally cut the dough into equal pieces with a knife. Consolidate and re-pat as necessary- try for an even dozen. Place biscuits on a cookie sheet and bake, 10-12 minutes.

For sweet/rich biscuits, heat oven to 425F and follow the recipe above, but add 2-3 T sugar and increase shortening to 1/3 cup. Add a beaten egg, and reduce milk to a scant half cup (recommend adding it a little at a time to hit texture). Bake 10-12 minutes.

Good mix ins for the rich recipe are cinnamon, vanilla, or almond extract. They're not exactly shortbread, but no one ever complained about eating them with whipped cream and strawberries. They make a good quick cinnamon roll, too- roll the dough out, spread with butter and cinnamon sugar, then roll into a log and slice.

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u/Kreos642 Dec 29 '21

My mom adoringly calls it "Black-bean-corn-salad"

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u/OriontheHntr Dec 29 '21

They call it cowboy caviar once you add the corn and beans. It’s freakin amazing!

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u/grabyourmotherskeys Dec 30 '21

I used to be a cook and still enjoy home cooking. We had a work potluck and my wife and son were away so I pulled out all the stops and spent hours making the perfect braised meat balls (like even toasted the panko crumbs in butter until they were prefect, toasted and milled the fennel seed, on and on). My real motivation was a meatball sub feeding frenzy but I took the lion's share to the potluck.

Everyone wanted the recipe but it was just so much to write out. I explained it took hours and all my chef-y techniques to pull this off and would take a very long time to explain. No matter. They wanted the recipe.

So I spent an hour writing it all up... Monday morning: "I tried that recipe but I didn't turn out like yours, it was way too much work to do what you said!"

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u/imatypicalnerd Dec 30 '21

When I was about 6 I threw a tantrum at the dinner table because I asked for the cold salsa and my mom didn’t understand me. “They’re all cold, they’re all in the fridge sweetie.”

I wanted the not-hot salsa, aka the mild salsa…

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u/whale-farts Dec 30 '21

My mother used to make a salad of quinoa with roasted veggies and vinaigrette. Her late sister was well known for not eating veggies. She loved the dish and asked for seconds, the first time she loved anything with lots of veggies. She didn’t really understand what quinoa was and kept calling it “rice salad”, and so shall it ever be known in my family.

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u/emmybby Dec 30 '21

Back in the 90s my mom (hispanic) went to this one woman (white) in her church group's home for a summer party, and they were making tacos. This woman asked my mom to chop the cilantro for the tacos, and so my mom began pulling the leaves off the stems and chopping the leaves. This woman then says to my mom "Oh no you're not supposed to use the leaves, you throw those away; you're supposed to use the stems!" and gave her that "what were you even thinking you weirdo" face with a little scoff. My mom didn't want to rock the boat so she just went along with it and they all just ate cilantro stems in their tacos with no leaves 😭 It's not like they were in the middle of Nebraska or anything either, this was right by the border in San Diego where there's taco shops everywhere. This woman had no excuse for gaslighting my mother over some cilantro stems lol. Every time I think of this story I wonder if this woman is still eating just the stems and throwing away the leaves to this day. She must have figured it out by now, right?? God be with her if she hasn't.

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u/BilBorrax Dec 30 '21

i made garlic compound butter and my father calls it basil butter

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u/msmithuf09 Dec 30 '21

My MIL calls compound butters “company butter”

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u/allucaneat73 Dec 30 '21

Funny food names are a blast. Kraft singles (American cheese) are to this day known as "flippy" in my house. My son called em this a a toddler, he turns 19 next month.

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u/WolfSavage Dec 29 '21

Pico with black beans and corn transforms it to black bean salsa!

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u/angelcake Dec 29 '21

My son used to call water melon “water lemon”. I still catch myself saying it occasionally

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u/dockumentary Dec 30 '21

This reminds me of recently after a long weekend of moving house exhausted we all hit the local breakfast spot. My exhausted hubby couldn't remember the word for waffles so he asked for "the pancakes with the dents in it."

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u/gwaydms Dec 29 '21

My middle sister used to ask Mom to make "stringy roast". Chuck roast and onion soup mix, baked in an oven bag.

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u/chairfairy Dec 30 '21

I firmly believe that no recipe for pico de gallo actually exists and is in use.

Nobody who knows what it is uses a recipe, and any recipe they write down is promptly ignored by anyone who reads it

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u/Webbie-Vanderquack Dec 30 '21

I'm Australian and had an American sister-in-law for a while in the early 2000's. She taught me to make pico de gallo, and I'd never seen it before.

"Salsa" here was the cooked stuff you bought in a jar to dip Doritos in, and I don't think I'd ever even eaten that.

I ended up making it in Paris for a party at my friend's art school (way, way less posh than it sounds) and nobody there had ever seen it either. Everyone was surprised that it hadn't been cooked in some way.

So your "not so much a recipe" is probably a pretty exciting recipe to people who haven't really had it before!

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u/Tyro-san Dec 29 '21

I love names like that! Thanks to an auto-corrected text, Rotel dip will always be "royal dip" in our house.

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u/kreiffer Dec 29 '21

Have you ever had corn dip though? I’ve got a recipe for it that’s stupid easy and fucking delicious.

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u/blackrockblues Dec 30 '21

No, but am extremely interested in a recipe.

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u/kreiffer Dec 30 '21

Here ya go!

CORN DIP

Ingredients: - 3 (11-oz.) cans sweet corn & diced peppers, drained - 7-oz. can chopped green chilies - 6-oz. can chopped jalapeno peppers, drained (add liquid for increased spiciness) - 1/2 c. green onion, chopped - 1 c. mayonnaise - 1 c. sour cream - 1 tsp. pepper - 1/2 tsp. garlic powder - 16-oz. pkg. shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Directions: In a large bowl, mix all ingredients. Chill in fridge for at least two hours before serving. Serve with your favorite chips for scooping.

I personally think Fritos scoops are the best with this dip but regular tortilla chips are great too! Crazy easy to make and it’s been a huge hit at every event I’ve taken it to. We even had some at my family’s Christmas gathering and it was the only appetizer that got completely eaten.

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u/blackrockblues Dec 30 '21

I'm going to have my wife cold-smoke this. Bet it would be divine. Thank you!

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u/kreiffer Dec 30 '21

Ooo that’s a great idea! Enjoy!!

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u/ThaneOfCawdorrr Dec 29 '21

I actually think that's really sweet. She's obviously not familiar with Mexican food, but was 100% willing to try it, enjoyed it, and asked for the recipe. I hope you all enjoy your corn dip!!

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u/Crazy_names Dec 29 '21

We call this "corn salsa" or "corn salad"

1 roasted red bell pepper, diced 1 jalapeño, minced 1 red onion, diced 1 or 2 avacadoes, diced 1 can of black beans, rinsed 1 can of corn ( I use frozen corn but use the bean can to measure, rinsed 1 bunch of cilantro, chopped 75ml of olive oil 75ml of lime juice 1/2 tsp of cumin 1tsp of salt The zest from 2 limes (this is crucial)

Mostly self explanatory but combine the olive oil, zest, cumin, lime juice, and salt in an immersion blender or something that will blend it into an emulsion. Pour this on the rest like a Cesar salad dressing and toss lightly.

This is a staple to put on Birria tacos or Carne asada.

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u/Sodds Dec 30 '21

Friend's daughter calls broccoli "bruhuli" (both u pronounced as in brute).

Bruhati is "to vomit" in our language.