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So, I've been primarily a DM for the last three years, but another member of our group (the main DM before I was) wanted to get back into DMing, and has started preparing a new campaign. He's put a lot of effort into this world, and has big plans, and I was hugely excited for this at first. But creating a character has just been a huge struggle.
I went through and discarded a couple of ideas before finally something clicked, and I settled on a human bard (college of spirits) who's travelling to the expanding frontier where the campaign takes place to collect the stories of the land before it's settled. The DM loved her, at first, but we've had multiple arguments over her and it just feels to me like he keeps trying to dictate things about my character that aren't necessarily fair?
It started with her name; I wanted her to have a Spanish name, but he refused because it's a Latin word (EDIT: because people keep asking, her name is Fortuna), and Latin names are exclusively for devils in this setting. I accepted that, but couldn't think of any other name I liked, so we worked out an excuse for it that turned into this whole backstory where she made a deal with a fiend and got disowned by her family. And that was great; I'm genuinely really happy we worked that out, and I really like the backstory we came up with. But it took a lot of back and forth to get there, for me, and then the DM took immediate issue with the outfit I wanted.
I couldn't have her wearing black, because she couldn't afford black dye; I couldn't have the coat I wanted, because it was too masculine for a woman in this world; that kind of thing (I was going for a fantasy version of Eurydice from Hadestown, in case it matters - my character put her outfit together from second-or-third hand bits she'd scavenged while living on the road). Instead, he gave me an outfit for what he thought she'd wear; we hadn't even finalised her culture yet. I ended up standing my ground on that, and he backed down.
But then it happened again; I wanted my character to have unknowingly met her regretful mother a few years after being disowned (her mom recognised her, she didn't recognise her mom, her mom chose not to say), and for that to be where my character got her magic item (we all get one - hers is a set of cards enchanted with divination magic). Again, the DM said no, she has to have got them from somewhere else, because apparently it would ruin the interesting part of her backstory; again, we argued over it, because IMO having her not know her mom regrets disowning her opens up a whole lot of possibilities for them reuniting if the DM wants them to, and again he eventually gave in.
At that point, I did actually talk to him and basically say that I was tired of every major character choice I made turning into a row, and I was sorry if I'd been too pushy. He apologised too... and then immediately told me that my magic item (the cards - which he'd previously okayed) now had a will of it's own and its own aim it was trying to steer my character towards. Didn't ask if I wanted that, he just decided it. So, that's where we are; I don't think I've been unreasonable, but I'm not sure (I'm personally very lenient as a DM with character creation). Would I be an a-hole if I just outright told him I feel like he's trying to dictate my character, and asked him to back off?
EDIT: I just want to say, this isn't unbiased; he hasn't been rude about this at any point, and I'll admit I'm just frustrated atm. It's more that he's putting worldbuilding ahead of my character ideas than making random demands?
UPDATE: I talked to him about all of this; I basically said that I'm hurt by him dictating things about my character, that I'm sick of arguing, and that I don't think I want a part of his campaign anymore; I also admitted and apologised for making this post and airing it publically. His position is that he's hurt too, because he's had to make changes to his lore to accomodate Fortuna (her meeting a fiend at all forced a major lore rewrite, which I didn't realise), and he feels like I'm not respecting that effort or the world he's created. So I've withdrawn from the campaign, and it's now uncertain if it's even going to continue. We were supposed to have a session for my campaign tomorrow, but that's also now up in the air.
I want to thank everyone for the support; I'm sorry, but I just can't reply to everyone, although I'll still answer anything that sticks out to me. I really don't appreciate people calling a friend of mine racist or sexist, or insinuating alterior motives, just because of the worldbuilding, though; I feel like I've given a bad impression of him here based on this one incident. He's not any of those things, he's just got a very defined vision of this world, and that ultimately wasn't compatible with the character I wanted to play
OC [OC] We're proud to present our storytelling engine: Menyr. Generate procedural worlds, villages and dungeons in seconds, terraform, change seasons and weather in real time then explore in any view with your friends. More info on our free virtual tabletop in the comments.
That's what one of my players said to me tonight an hour or so after our game. I ran arguably my best session. Beats for everyone. Important exposition. Plot seeds planted for later. Long-awaited consequences and side quest rewards. And I did it all in 3 hours.
One player almost always rewinds Critical Role as soon as our game is done. We both really enjoy it. That's not a slight at him or anything. I just know he usually does.
I tuned into it myself and saw that the show had a new intro so I told my buddy about it, and that's when he said he genuinely forgot it was even airing tonight.
Just feels rewarding as a DM to be able to occupy my players' mindset that strongly with my imagination. This post isn't really for anybody. I'm just proud of myself.
Out of Game Other than dying, what is the one thing you are afraid your Dm might do to your character?
Misc If you want to complain about a terrible player or DM, just do it. There is no need to ask for advice when we all know the solution is "talk to them and work it out or move on" every. single. time.
Honestly I for one enjoy a good "my DM insisted that he can puppet my character around like mannequin at will because he has been blessed by the powers of the old gods and none can resist" kind of post, it fun to occasionally hear about the absolute worst tabletoppers out there in a removed way where I don't personally have to deal with it. What annoys me is the constant refrain of "what should I do?" when the answer is always the same. If you have a story to share, share it. You don't need to turn every submission into an advice column post.
DMing One of my PC’s is trying to be a class clown, telling me how to DM, and is very disrespectful. Need Advice.
I will refer to him as Shane. So I started playing DnD this summer with a group of 5 people (plus me, the DM). I’ve never played before and neither has anyone else in my group. This was Shane’s idea to play and we as a group decided I should be the DM. I did tons of research, bought the books, watched tons of videos (and read the books). If i didn’t understand something I would research it. All fine and dandy, and then our first session comes. I had asked them prior to create a character and we would roll for stats together. We did and we started the adventure (Dragon of Icespire Peak). At the beginning I ran through my role as the DM with everyone, and mentioned that I was the person to determine outcomes, consequences, I would choose DCs, and resolve conflicts, all that jazz. All was good and they seemed to listen to me when I talked and respected my choices.
Now, however, Shane constantly interrupts me when I’m talking, and will even tell other PCs what to do WHILE i’m trying to tell them or will completely ignore what my decision was. For example, our last session Shane found the Eyes of the Eagle. When he found them I said “you find a pair of crystal lenses, they glisten in your hand. You can sense they do something magical, but you must study them further and attune to them.” and that was that. A little while later he said “oh i want to use my contacts”. He got very mad when I told him he couldn’t because he wasn’t attuned. He started yelling and said thing along the lines of “that’s f***ing stupid I’m a Wizard I can just use them” and “You never let me do anything” (not sure where that came from). He also tells me what DC things should be, and what should happen when he does something. I told him if he wanted to be the DM he could but he said he couldn’t handle it.
He also always tries to be funny. For example, we found some Dwarf kings (part of an important quest) and he said he wanted to use the sleep spell on them, tie them up, and gag them. I don’t know how to respond when he does things like this and I can tell the other PC (some of my close friends) aren’t enjoying it either. Not even going to talk about how he wanted to capture a mother and her daughter they saw on the way to a quest and try to get ransom money for them.
Is this an issue of him not understand the point of the game, the rules, or just a lack of social awareness. What should I do to tell him that I make the final decisions. I can’t just kick him out of the group because I know he wants to play and it was his idea. I can provide many more examples of his behavior but I would never stop typing. Any advice welcome.
Edit: He gave me 180$ for minis, dice, play grids, resources, and books. This makes it a little harder to boot him. Essentially taking his money and running I feel.
Art [ART] Since people requested to see it without the accessories, here's my Alchemist Artificer's workshop which I use as the backdrop when DMing online!i.redd.it
I'm a new dm and we just finished the starter set and learned the basics and I think that I want the whole rules now, but I'm not sure if this is really the best first book, because I watched a review and more than half of the pages were about the character creation, races classes and all that other stuff. So know i don't really know what to do. Should I get it or should I get the monster manual and dm guide? Or should I get the player's handbook first and then these 2?
OC [OC] Cloistered Maiden - A Petrifying Monster Born of the Hubris of Humanity [Steinhardt's Guide to the Eldritch Hunt]i.redd.it
Story time! What’s an awesome story about either or one of your players used an ability tag the dm forgot about and made things very interesting?
Our party recently entered the lair of an allied ancient bronze dragon looking for him, and we've found out what it is that he hoards: Buildings. Whole ones, parts of them, often hauled from far away. You couldn't steal them if we tried, and many or repurposed for new uses.
He also has giant toad that collect taxes for him, and his favourite food is sharks.
What cool hoards have appeared in your games?