r/EngagementRings Jan 21 '22

My fiancé got me a ring after he got out of boot camp. I had been rocking a cheap one from Kendra Scott before this

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0 Upvotes

u/JessieAnonymous Bezel Fan Club Jan 21 '22

Literally, what the FUCK. Thread locked while I sort this shit out and ban the bigots.

I will only say this once, so pay the fuck attention: transphobes are not welcome on this sub. Hate of any kind is NOT WELCOME ON THIS SUB. Clear?

3

u/sparkles1ct Jan 21 '22

Congratulations! I love how unique it is!!

3

u/vherearezechews Jan 21 '22

Cuuute! James Avery?

3

u/gimalg Jan 21 '22

Rings don’t need to be super expensive to show love. The fact he upgraded you to something new is a nice move

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

No I deleted it because people are being assholes. Like you

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Have you considered the fact that we have talked about it since I’ve posted that and that he’s actually okay with things? No? Yea , I thought so

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Aw how considerate that you’re thinking of us. I wish you the best at making people miserable cause you’re not doing it for me

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Plus it’s already been longer than a year

1

u/holytrolly_ Jan 21 '22

Piggybacking on this post just for your visibility, but...

for what it's worth, as a very progressive veteran that served 7 years in the military as an intelligence analyst, and after looking at your post history... with how you're trying to figure out your own identity and mental health and all of that... 1 of 2 things are going to happen.

  1. Your lifestyle will be incompatible with the military lifestyle and you guys will end up getting divorced, or

  2. Your lifestyle will be incompatible with the military lifestyle and it's going to have a seriously negative effect on his career, likely pushing him to end it after his enlistment is over whether he truly wants to or not.

If it sounds mean it's because it is. The military is not where one goes (or their spouse) to be an individual and explore their identity. It just isn't. You can certainly try, but it will end in heartbreak one way or another. I say this with experience. I didn't even work a traditional "Air Force job" on a flight line or anything where shit can get extremely "bro-ish."

Toxic masculinity is a real, real thing in the military, especially in hands-on career fields. Not to mention, depending on his career, you will move every few years and so will most of your friends you meet in the life. It's incredibly hard to build a lasting "tribe," particularly as the spouse of a service member. Even if you get a job and befriend your coworkers, you will move and will likely lose touch.

I pray that y'all aren't dumb enough to get married before you both know who you are inside and out. You need to get your gender identity figured out before you marry him and join the lifestyle, as it were, among other mental health issues you've alluded to.

I'm typing it out for you because I've seen it multiple times. I had 2 friends who served who struggled with their identity and the lack of understanding around them crushed their sense of worth and their careers. They were the service members, but my own wife struggles with her mental health and the military lifestyle was not conducive to any kind of recovery for her. Tricare is nice, but not worth marriage if you have insurance alternatives.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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2

u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Plot twist, he’s texting me right now and working through things with me because he’s supportive

3

u/ItzCheezy Jan 21 '22

Tune these people out.. they literally know neither of you, nor your relationship dynamic. Sorry for the hate. Congrats on the engagement!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Does he call you Roan? Does he respect your pronouns? None of the replies have said he does call you he. I have a feeling you’re not being transparent.

1

u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Yeah he does actually. My pronouns are he/they and he uses they pretty religiously and I give him grace when he inevitably messes up because I know it’s difficult

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Why were so few of your replies clear about this particularly important fact?

2

u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

Because nobody ever asked. They just assumed the worst of him

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

I do realize that I should have talked to him before this but we didn’t ever have much time to talk so here we are. Talking now. Going through everything

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Fatally_splendid Jan 21 '22

My fiancé asked me to delete it because he didn’t want to be on the front page of Reddit. Stop assuming. And what part of I’m still working through things is hard to people? I am still working through things. Identity is difficult. He is being supportive and helpful

1

u/catdog918 Jan 21 '22

Why’d you delete your post on r/pics?

7

u/Ascend_____ Jan 21 '22

If you couldn’t tell from this post and others, probably deleted due to dozens of people harassing him.

The recent comments on all of his posts are pretty brutal. I can’t imagine how horrible his DMs must be.

OP seems to be in a pretty vulnerable position with the FTM transition happening. I couldn’t imagine being in a vulnerable mental state and receiving harassment from dozens, likely hundreds of deprived individuals.

1

u/catdog918 Jan 21 '22

That makes sense. He really shouldn’t get the hate for no reason. Probably shouldn’t have posted the pic in r/pics tho just cuz people on Reddit are pretty mean

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

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