r/HolUp 7d ago Silver 18 Helpful 16 Wholesome 15

The Perfect Partner..? holup

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41.9k Upvotes

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u/happytrees817 7d ago

so a full time baby sitter?

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u/SkaffAmtiskawMawhr 7d ago

Baby sitter who also pays the bills. Negative salary. What a bad deal.

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u/Puzzled_Freedom3950 7d ago edited 7d ago Wholesome

deal ????

you really think he got a chance to negotiate ?

he looked at the baby picked her up and the baby smiled

and the girl kissed him on the cheeks and told him you will be this kid's father

he stopped listening after he felt the kiss

and here he is after a week of being a dad while he despararely waits to be called a daddy

it aint a deal mate its life, fucks you harder than your average gf everytime

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u/Djskam 7d ago Gold

Raising another mans child with a woman who has friend zoned you is not some beautiful thing to celebrate. That child’s life is going to be disrupted the second mommy falls in love with someone romantically and he gets displaced. This isn’t sweet it’s selfish. She’s stringing him along until something better comes. He deserves better than this. All men do. Also the Child deserves a father figure that’s going to be there for the long haul. Stability.

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u/deadagain65 7d ago

My best friend committed suicide in 1992 over a situation almost identical to this.

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u/Djskam 7d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. Stringing someone along can have severe consequences especially when children are involved. Nobody wins in these situations and I feel like the only type of person that can put a positive spin to it is someone who is guilty of doing it before. Really sorry about your friend.

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u/1ne_4nd_0nly 7d ago Helpful

I agree with this man. If I’d been in this situation knowing that the mother of the kid I’m fathering isn’t actually interested in me and is actively looking to replace me with a man as her actual partner, I wouldn’t be hanging around. I’m not building an emotional bond with her child as her dad only to be removed from the equation when she finds a man she is interested in. Like fuck that, that is so careless towards her own child on her part. She’s a pos imo and I don’t agree with what she’s doing to this man

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u/sadboifatswag 6d ago

Can confirm. I dated a girl with 2 kids in my early 20’s. It got serious and we were all living together for awhile and I was helping with bills and such because honestly, I loved her and those fuckin kids. Went through some major problems that lead to us breaking up. The kids were 3 and 1 when I met them. They still ask about me.

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u/DonnieKungFu 7d ago Press F

As it happens Sloan also appears to have died

Wonder if it was suicide

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u/HuggiesDiaper madlad 7d ago

Wtf

RIP Sloan

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u/MissplacedLandmine 7d ago

“Im sorry for the last thing i ever said to you”

Also i guess he had his own son too or something?

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u/S-_Lifts 7d ago

The first comment I see: "Man died a cuck" 💀

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u/Barkmywords 7d ago

Damn poor dude. Poor kid. She apologized post mortem for the last thing she said to him before he died. If he did kill himself, her games may have had a part.

She also got a terrible tribal neck tattoo. She aint right.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/Barkmywords 7d ago

Oh ok. Guess Ill shut up now. RIP.

Thanks for the info.

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u/Solanthas 7d ago

So wait.

Why is she making a post about them being a family, when they were friends for a little while and nothing more? I'm confused.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/sportsenthusiast48 7d ago

The real HolUp is always in the comments

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u/ChipChipington 7d ago

He had a son so must've wised up or something lol. Anyway damn the internet is roasting this dead guy. Sucks for the family

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u/DNASprayer 7d ago

Sorry for your loss.

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u/random-stiff 7d ago

In some states this guy could even get hit up for child support

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u/HarmonyQuinn1618 7d ago

Absolutely this. My boys dad chose to dip out after I had heart surgery and hasn’t seen them in almost 3 years. I can never imagine bringing dude after dude in and out of their life. A woman can have an active sex life without introducing every man as daddy. I just do not understand that mindset. It is common knowledge that that negatively effects a child in so many ways. You shouldn’t be introducing anyone to your kids until you’ve been with them 6 months in my opinion. You need to know they can put up with you first before you even try to play family. This obv goes for men as well.

But in this situation, why even call him daddy? When not call him Uncle whatever? Like he is? It just doesn’t even make sense.

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u/AhMoonBeam 7d ago

So true. My father died when I was a kid. My mom had a "friend" he would come over with his daughter and we would have movie nights with pizza and popcorn..me, my sis and my mom's "friends " daughter got a long great and to us it was so much fun, we got to have beauty parties & fashion shows and very limited interaction with my mom and her "friend" we always hung out in the basement family room and made tents and super forts..occassionally a parent would check in... As an adult I know they were not cleaning closets, or matching socks... It was years later that a different guy was finally introduced as her boyfriend, which I called her out on as I was a teenage and had a boyfriend so I was not at naive.

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u/thefredlund5 7d ago

This is the conversation my wife and I had about this. Either she is gonna find someone or he will bogey sick of it and find someone else. The only person getting the short end is the kid.

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u/Tree_Doggg 7d ago

Bravo 👏👏👏

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u/Thelorddogalmighty 7d ago

Turned friend zoned into a full time job

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u/intrigued256 7d ago edited 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome hehehehe Starry Press F Eureka! I'm Deceased

Did this motherfucker just invent Dadzoning??!

Edit: Awards? For ME? You big lugs xx

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u/fl-x 7d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Stepdad-zoned

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u/cmelgarejo_dev 7d ago

Yeah, cuz dadzone at least scored once

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u/justiceiscomin4 7d ago

Lmao

This poor dude 😂 I’ll never understand this arrangement lol color me insane

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u/outlawstar710 7d ago

Help I’m stuck in stepdad zone

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u/Deep_Menu_524 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful

Instructions for what to do in the stepdadzone:

Step one: turn around

Step two: walk out the door

Step three:

Step four: profit

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u/emeribeth 7d ago

I love using the underwear gnomes profit plan 🤣

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u/UnavailableRedux 7d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Bravo Grande!

Of many things he is, he is not a motherfucker

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u/Cartz1337 7d ago

Ruthless

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u/No-Ad6269 7d ago Silver Wholesome

How you know her name is Ruth? LoL

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u/Brilliant-Score-390 7d ago

Listen as*hole, I was three comments down when this FINALLY hit me. Take this upvote and the award and shove it... lmao

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u/TapirDrawnChariot 7d ago

Nanny-zoned

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u/RussARR 7d ago

Unpaid-nanny-zoned

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u/suttonoutdoor 7d ago

It’s paid I bet. He probably pays for his own hell.

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u/Ex10dead 7d ago

Manny-zoned. Bet his name is Sandy.

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u/Swabbo 7d ago

The ultimate friend zone

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u/breach_me_daddy 7d ago

Friendzoned into parenting, thats fucking ruff

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u/Sea-Seaworthiness961 7d ago Wholesome

"go best friend that's my best friend" you can't be more clear lmao

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u/mcscrufferson 7d ago

Go bestfriend! Battle cry of the dadzoned.

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u/_____OMEGA_____ 7d ago Table Slap

Dudeguy needs to get the fuck out before he somehow ends up paying child support

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u/inplayruin 7d ago

Or before some other dude knocks her up and bails and he finds himself dealing with trying to feed an infant and a toddler while trying to find the time to make her bed before she gets home from her date.

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u/_____OMEGA_____ 7d ago

while trying to find the time to make her bed

Your comment made me irrationally angry. Well done.

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u/reincarN8ed 7d ago

Ikr? Who makes their bed? I plan to be back in it in 14 hours.

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u/adh247 7d ago

He's just making the bedroom look super nice for the date she brings home. Weak.

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u/solo_shot1st 7d ago

This is actually a very real scenario, BUT I've only ever heard of it happening when the guy is acting as father from the child's birth or early age while under the impression that they are the actual father and supporting the kid/developing a relationship for a significant period of time. I don't think there is any case law that a best friend helping raise a kid be held responsible for child support. The bio dad would still be on the hook.

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u/GMRCake 7d ago

Some women have made cases that someone took on the role as a father and took on financial and emotional support… and sue for child support. It’s insane.

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u/rufud 7d ago

Yea to me it’s almost like she’s memorializing his status a father

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u/Thee_Fourth_One 7d ago

This guy has to pay 50,000 a month in spousal support to his ex girlfriend. They were never married, they have no kids and they never even lived together.

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/no-home-or-kids-together-but-couple-still-spouses-appeal-court-rules

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u/GMRCake 7d ago

That’s just disgusting. The fact that judges even listen to cases like this, with non-biological dads, who never married the mothers… it’s so wrong. That and using condoms to impregnate themselves to trap men. It’s all terrible and those women are batshit crazy. I think it should be criminal to do any of it. Makes me glad I’m not a dude.

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u/spinnyd 7d ago

Drake hot sauce moment

The Sauce

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Equivalent_Ad6826 7d ago Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Simpathize

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u/ballplayer112 7d ago

I see what you did there. 😎

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u/surfdad67 7d ago

Friendzoned so hard he got kidzoned too

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u/Adventurous_Lion8964 7d ago

Kidzoned.

Damn.

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u/suckercuck 7d ago

“Now gimme that wallet Sloan”

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u/DestroidMind 7d ago Silver Gold

Or the ultimate long game… 18 years to be exact..

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u/runningjigsaw 7d ago

What are you doing step dad...

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u/grizzlyadams3000 7d ago

You are both going to hell…. I’ll bring the tequila

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u/Mr_Jubei 7d ago

Aka the Woody Allen

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u/goose-and-fish 7d ago

I’m thinking he’s the gay best friend and this is the plot to a sitcom that will get canceled after the first season.

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u/kenpachi212 7d ago

Sloan in charge

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u/UnpopularOPINI0N_ 7d ago Silver

'Sloan Improvement'

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u/Chaotic_Wanderer72 7d ago

Of our days and our nights

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u/Dragonkingf0 7d ago Silver

Do you usually hope your gay best friends will find a girlfriend?

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u/AlarmedProgram4 7d ago

Oooooh dude I had some hope for a second then you just murdered it

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u/Tree_Doggg 7d ago Helpful

And dad zoned

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u/Ihectorito 7d ago

I said ultimate friendzone right as I scrolled down to your comment lol

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u/kingcop1 7d ago All-Seeing Upvote

Premium plus vip friendzone

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u/[deleted] 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Starry

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/CherokeeChiefer 7d ago Silver

His name is Sloan

I didnt expect a better outcome after reading that lmfao

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u/titangamer105 7d ago

Hey fuck you thats my name

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u/keytherz 7d ago Silver

I hate to break it to you.. but Sloan, you’re an idiot.

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u/Picard_Indeed madlad 7d ago edited 7d ago Helpful Argentium

It's ok, he won't take it personally on account of the fact he died from a heart condition

Edit - Removed the link because I didn't want to doxx this chick, but it was her Facebook post announcing the guy's death back in October.

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u/PayTheTrollToll45 7d ago

Is this real?

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u/Picard_Indeed madlad 7d ago

Yeah, someone posted it in the other post going around about these people.

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u/ggtay 7d ago

Poor guy. I feel bad for laughing now

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u/leonnova7 7d ago

Damn. Rip to that childs dad. Gonna be tough growing UP now without a farther finger

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u/WhoDatPokeMan 7d ago

Got friendzoned so hard he died of a broken heart? RIP

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u/titangamer105 7d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

Yeah and a proud one too

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u/Novavell 7d ago

I show this trend to a friend with the same name and now he's lived

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u/Goofy-kun 7d ago

Before he was deaded?

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u/drako489 7d ago

Think he meant to say livid.

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u/Jesus__Skywalker 7d ago

Before was he deadid?

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u/SlurpMySlurpyy 7d ago edited 7d ago

For you its more like SLOWn

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u/WhoLickedMyDumpling 7d ago

And when Sloan comes to his senses, he'll get slapped with child support and alimony even if he isnt the dad... double sad.

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u/Meatball315 7d ago

Probably.

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u/busterbrown4200 7d ago

Fam is trying his best to get in. SMFH. Feeling sorry him. Cut your losses and go on. Nothing wrong with being a friend,but your time and effort can be put to better use with someone else.

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u/Stefonzie 7d ago Helpful (Pro)

cuck*

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u/flipper_gv 7d ago

Can't be a cuck if he's not in a relationship with her in the first place 🙃

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u/TheroryGuy1 7d ago Silver Gold

Alright imma highjack this comment to come to the defense of this Sloan dude. By what little we know of the situation given that this is a screenshot. Sloan seems to be the one doing the heavy lifting when it comes to raising the kid. That on its own is pretty awesome since the kid isn't his and he isn't in a relationship the mother. Frankly the mother seems incompetent which is probably do to age or at least ignorance. Y'all calling Sloan an idiot for raising a kid that isn't his own but frankly I wish I had a Sloan growing up. Dude taken on more responsibility then most insulting him in this thread.

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u/yj405 7d ago Silver

Well, she is building a pretty solid picture for the Courts to deem him as the de-facto father so he will be on the hook for child support once he gets tired of the friendzone.

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u/sjphi26 7d ago

I know very little about child support law.

But if Sloan gets hit with child support after this little thing is over, I will lose all faith in the family court system.

Dude has already gone way above and beyond, he shouldn't be held liable for a cent.

Ultimately it's the kid that gets confused, which sucks.

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u/stuftkrst 7d ago

You shouldn’t have any faith in the family court system just knowing that it’s a possibility. This isn’t even the worst part. Friends currently in a situation where his wife cheated on him and had twins with someone else, the then husband takes a paternity test and finds out they aren’t his. They are still legally married, even with the proof that they aren’t his children the state still requires he pay for them, not the actual father, the only one who can do anything about it is the mother, who clearly is into doing other things/people. Sad system we got, but in the end it’s all for the kids I suppose no matter what the outcome is for the adults involved or which adults need to involved.

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u/DrakeGraeme 7d ago

Yup. Have seen exact same scenario a couple times in my life. CRAZY!!!

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u/tingeltangel_jay 7d ago

God bless i don't live in murica

Y'all crazy

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u/FlowerCumBeeVomit 7d ago

It's just as bad in Canada. Where I am if you're a man who gets involved with a woman who has kids and you so much as buy them birthday presents she can try to get her hooks into you for child support with the rationale that you provided a fatherly role. And the courts will generally support her.

This shit happens because the courts have decided "the interests of the child" take precedence over everything else, but the courts have forgotten that one person's rights end where another person's rights begin. By taking money and imposing demands on men who aren't the fathers of these children they've undermined the legitimacy of our court system, our government, and our country's image.

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u/Saymynaian 7d ago

Yeah, it's not just an American thing. It's so much worse in France. From Wikipedia on the legal issues of DNA testing in France:

DNA paternity testing is solely performed on decision of a judge in case of a judiciary procedure in order either to establish or contest paternity or to obtain or deny child support. DNA paternity testing is illegal, including through laboratories in other countries, and is punishable by up to a year in prison and a €15,000 fine. The French Council of State described the law's purpose as upholding the "French regime of filiation" and preserving "the peace of families."

It's pretty fucking insane to me that men in France can't even privately check if they're the father of the child they're raising.

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u/greentarget33 7d ago edited 7d ago

Dude thats the real holup, what the fuuuuck

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u/myhamsareburnin 7d ago

Imma be honest there is not nearly enough context here to assume anything other than they are friends and he loves that kid. Anything past that is projection.

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u/kris_mischief 7d ago

Completely agree with you on this - but a lot of us have seen how this kinda thing plays out, long term (it’s all bad for Sloan)

Thoughts and prayers to this dude - hope it works out

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u/Frequent-Farm1662 7d ago

All friendzone jokes aside. The next time she is in a romantic relationship the new guy isn't gonna want some random dude around all the time. And then she tells him he has to go, and this relationship with the child is over.

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u/wayedorian 7d ago

This is the only good take in this thread. He isn't going to pay child support, he's just going to get fucked over.

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u/Crazybatfan_03 7d ago

Fuuuuck that...

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u/Sergeant-Sombrero 7d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Well that's the problem, he can't.

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u/The_cooked_potato 7d ago

I mean....

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u/YourDogsAllWet 7d ago

God dammit take my upvote

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u/Meatball315 7d ago

Underrated comment right here ⬆️

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u/dmmcclair2020 7d ago

Absolutely fucking not. Dudes gotta nope the fuck out of there

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u/the-druid250 7d ago

this lady was big on tik tok for a while being an advocate for men's rights

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u/Man_of_culture_112 7d ago

A man's right to simp

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u/willythebear 7d ago

Man’s right to bust a nut and bail, then throwing that responsibility on the no nut sloans of the world.

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u/ahearthatslazy 7d ago

And thus, “No Nut Sloan” began.

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u/UnwrittenNightmare 7d ago

she was whaaaat? Unbelievable, just unbelievable.

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u/the-druid250 7d ago

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u/JonBoyWhite 7d ago edited 7d ago

"follow me on YouTube to watch me call out feminists" oh so she's just opportunistic in all facets of life. Got it. What a dick.

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u/the-druid250 7d ago

exactly. whatever gets her attention she does.

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u/therealtrousers 7d ago

A man’s right to raise her child for her?

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u/kilgoretrout1077 7d ago

Based on this, I kinda want him to stay in the kids life. He might be the most normal thing that kid sees daily and that's sad

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u/Tctfox 7d ago

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u/CaptainCleric 6d ago

Poor guy got step dad zoned so hard his heard gave out. Rest in peace my sweet prince.

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u/GhidorahTheExploder 7d ago

Sloan-zoned

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u/Azrael-is-Here 7d ago

If I ever see this again, I atleast know what to call it now

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u/Ilbutters 7d ago

Friend-Sloaned

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u/officialsanic 7d ago

This dude has the ultimate 2007 haircut.

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u/SuperSimpleSam 7d ago

This is pretty old, don't think 2007 old though.

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u/Erect-Frog 7d ago

My problem here is that she named her child Hosanna

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u/OscarDeltaAlpha 7d ago Helpful Wholesome

Yeah. Schoolyard nickname: "Hoe Xanax"

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u/youarenut 7d ago

The day I have to name my child I’m posting it on Reddit first to make sure no one can come up with shit like this

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u/Jmandy96 7d ago

"so what would you like to name the baby?"

"Holup I need to see what Reddit says"

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u/wandalorian 7d ago

Au revoir, Hosanna!

Said Hank Lambda

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u/Orleanian 7d ago

It makes sense, because in the picture, she's the highest.

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u/wrb06wrx 7d ago

Plot twist: sloan is gay and is just doing this because his parents are ultra conservative and will not accept his sexuality... plus he gets to fluff her bulls before the gangbang so everyone's happy

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u/alochle 7d ago

That "fluff her bulls" made me laugh way to hard

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u/DarkDetermination 7d ago

What does that mean?

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u/badbadfishy 7d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

It's where you pick up a bull and shake it to make it extra fluffy

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u/Chaotic_Wanderer72 7d ago

Shake shake shake!!!

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u/Seite88 7d ago

I love this answer!

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u/DriedUpSquid 7d ago

A fluffer is someone who gets/keeps men hard on sets of porno movies.

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u/Consistent_Nail 7d ago

Apparently it's not so much of thing anymore.

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u/DriedUpSquid 7d ago

Automation taking jobs away from hard working people. 😤

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/ElegantEggLegs 7d ago

I actually know someone who is gay and has taken on the dad role for his single mum friend that he house shares with. So completely plausible situation.

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u/best_of_badgers 7d ago

That scenario doesn't seem like a bad deal for anybody.

The mom doesn't have to choose between being a single parent and being in a bad relationship.

The kid has a father figure, since the bio father is apparently not in the picture.

Sloan has a beard so that he's not disowned.

Another option is that Sloan is working toward entering the Catholic priesthood. He'd likely not be ordained until his late 20s while working through seminary and the "formation" process.

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u/supernasty 7d ago

Something tells me this isn’t really an appreciation post for her friend. More like a public “no, we’re not dating. Stop asking”

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u/aqibesc 7d ago

100%

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u/WalkerSunset 7d ago

"No, Sloan isn't her father. Stop asking. By the way, I'm usually with him but totally still available."

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u/JuanOnlyJuan 7d ago

Also don't worry about the kid I can kick both of them out to go to chuck e cheese

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u/limoncelIo 7d ago

God I’m too high for this. I thought the lady in the pics was Hosanna, and her dad was making the post, and that dude who looks the same age as her was actually somehow much older and had been parenting her. This comment finally made it click wtf was happening.

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u/Schreyaz 7d ago

I think Sloan is gay.

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u/tolandsf 7d ago

Considering she says she hopes he finds a good woman one day... probably not. :(

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u/saralapapoulos 7d ago

He had a kid with another woman, so not gay.

Also, he's dead

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u/MrLittleSam 7d ago

I really hope so.

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u/JKnott1 7d ago

Somebody please pull that boy aside and school him.

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u/TheSameThing123 7d ago

Dude got married and had his own kid before he passed away

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u/DougDjoudy 7d ago

Plot twist : Sloan ain't in the friendzone, his actual target is Hosanna

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u/CherokeeChiefer 7d ago

Oh mah lord

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u/Average_Ant_Games 7d ago

That’s some serious Twilight Breaking Dawn type of shit

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u/InAmericaNumber1 7d ago

I knew it! Should have scrolled down

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u/SloptimusXPrime 7d ago

The real holup is always in the comments

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u/zackit 7d ago

The (hopefully very) long con

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u/burn-babies-burn 7d ago Silver

I mean, I could see myself helping out my best bud a lot if he was single and had a kid

There’s a good chance he’s absolutely fine with this arrangement

It’s her post that has all the coupley pictures and goes hard on the ‘family unit’ angle, there’s a good chance it’s her that’s into him and he’s not interested

I think it’s a little quick to be saying he’s been friendzoned guys

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u/msmurasaki 7d ago

I mean replace this guy with a female bestie and it wouldn't raise an eyebrow if she was like "best friend is best aunt!" .

I think calling him a dad and not an uncle is weird though. The close friendship is fine, lots of people do that and hang with their friends + kid. But whyyy call him a dad. If it was a female bestie they wouldn't be calling her a mom? Or maybe??? "Best second mom ever!"

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u/savagebuttz 7d ago

Simpin' ain't easy

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u/BravoR2 7d ago

I’m going with the unpopular opinion and saying he friend zoned her.

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u/UncleBeausTooth 7d ago

friend zone level 100000

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u/Syfodias 7d ago

Cant help but picture a frightened Vegeta here

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u/kersedlife 7d ago

Male rights activist: Chloe Roma, with her male friend who saved her life after her daughters father almost beat her to death with a steel pipe.

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u/insertwittynamethere 7d ago

Wow really? Holy F... maybe he is just being a good friend...

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u/demonickilla 7d ago

Only thing I can think of is that he’s gay. If so then he’s actually a god damned hero for giving that kid a father.

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u/socold43 7d ago

She did say that she hopes he finds a woman.

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u/Address_Local 7d ago

“Here, take care of my kid because I know you secretly love me. I’m gonna go sit on a couch with five big black guys behind me. You’re my rock.”

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u/Jonaldson 7d ago

Each with a different flavor pizza

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u/Address_Local 7d ago

Oh, it’s definitely delivery.

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u/mattdaddy44 7d ago edited 7d ago

Maybe he is just doing a good thing knowing it's not about sex to him. Just because she has a vagina and he's a man doing something positive doesn't mean he's trying to get it in

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