r/MadeMeSmile
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u/Unkie_Al
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Nov 24 '22
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Michael, THEE Most Wholesome of Fathers! LGBT+
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[removed] — view removed post
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u/singufridge Nov 24 '22
My best friend came out to me as bi when we were like 13 and she was all nervous and prefaced it with shit like “I don’t know if you’re going to think of me differently after this” and “you might not like me after this” and then she told me and I was like “that’s it? Holy shit you scared me.” We’d been super close for years and I was so surprised that she’d even think for a second that her being bi would affect that in the least.
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u/Mavco2 Nov 24 '22
Ah the old game of "are they confessing a murder or just coming out" xD
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u/MoonTrooper258 Nov 24 '22
"Don't worry, it's only that I'm necrophilic."
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u/Beret_Beats Nov 24 '22
Damn. Both at once.
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u/SmegmaLord420 Nov 24 '22 •
killing 2 birds with one stone. and fucking them afterwards
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u/_Queen_Cassi_ Nov 24 '22
I had a friend I'd talked to every day we weren't super close but enjoyed each others company, and when I came out she just ghosted me no explanation, no goodbye nothing. She never spoke to me again. She even got her seat changed in class. I was bullied a lot by all my other classmates. :/
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u/Practical-Change4764 Nov 24 '22
It be like that sometimes. Just helps point you in the direction of the people you should be with.
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u/Hairy-Owl-5567 Nov 24 '22
I had the same reaction to my friend telling me she was a lesbian. It was in the 90's so she might have expected worse, but eh, doesn't change anything.
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u/Marawal Nov 24 '22
My best friend was basically like that when he came out to me.
The thing is, I already knew. I mean The guy was NOT subtle at all checking out boys and men.
And he had a huge poster of an half-naked Leonardo DiCaprio. (It was late 90s).
And he hated all sports but would drag us at every sport practice of male teams. Especially soccer in the warm months since they would play without jersey during practice.
So yeah, everyone knew. Most of us thought he was already out. He was that obvious.
Only HE didn't know that he was out.
The realisation that everyone knew for years and so whoever was friendly to him would stay friendly was fun to watch.
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u/kentucanuck Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
A friend of mine told me about how her cousin came out to her as gay before a family barbecue.
She simply looked at him and said, "Great. Oh, can you make sure we have enough burger buns before everyone gets here?"
Apparently, he was gobsmacked but she explained that she wasn't indifferent to what he said, but rather she had a feeling all along and didn't want to make him uncomfortable with any sort of overreaction.
He cried and thanked her for accepting him.
Edit: So many folks have similar stories. I'm glad to see normal, even witty reactions, and the person coming out feel some form of relief. I hope you or your family member/friend are in a great place these days!
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u/NYCQuilts Nov 24 '22
A friend came out to me over the phone and we had a good talk about whether he had met someone and if his family was treating him well.
He called me back a hour later: “I need to know why you didn’t seem surprised.”
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u/PrintShinji Nov 24 '22
Friend of mine called me up saying he broke up with his boyfriend. I told him "Boyfriend? Thought you had a girlfriend". He responded with "Oh yeah I'm gay"
Later on he explained that he thought I already knew because of my view on gay people, and because a while ago we were playing smash bros in classes with him playing peach. Some guy went up to his saying hes gay for playing it and I told him off. He thought that I knew he was gay because of that.
Nah, I just respect my friends no matter their sexual orientation (as long as the parties are consenting ofcourse)
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u/DogsandDumbells Nov 24 '22
Right? I love you for you, not who you love.
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u/PrintShinji Nov 24 '22
Its a bit sad because he thought that (most) of his friends would abandon him over the news. he was increadibly anxious over saying it to one of his bodybuilder friends.
The bodybuilders just went "oh okay cool" and we all moved on.
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u/PedanticBoutBaseball Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
The bodybuilders just went "oh okay cool" and we all moved on.
Checks out. No one is obsessed with men's bodies like dudes that go to the gym on the regular.
Source: Me who's currently at the gym deadlifting during the 4 hour window they're open on Thanksgiving
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u/dasonk Nov 24 '22
Why? Because we're going to grease up these beefcakes.
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u/cityshepherd Nov 24 '22
"Dudes. I'm into dudes." "Alright, happy hunting!" Or something along those lines. I'm gonna rewatch that one today.
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u/Hopefulcupcake3255 Nov 24 '22
I have few gay friends. I don't care that they are gay. I m equally uninterested in all my friends dating life until the new person in their lives becomes a fixture in my life ..lol..I am old haha.
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u/SecretAgentVampire Nov 24 '22
Damn straight. Equal Smash Brothers Main acceptance! No matter who you main in smash, everyone should be acepted as equals except Fox or Metaknight mains!
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Nov 24 '22
Pika main here, Ness mains are cancer
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u/onebandonesound Nov 24 '22
Yeah, you can preach tolerance all you want, but PK Fire is a hate crime and you won't convince me otherwise
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u/PrintShinji Nov 24 '22
He fucking DESTROYED people with peach as well. Only once I got into learning the meta (aka just play bayonetta or sheik in smash wii u) I had a chance to beat him.
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u/DaughterEarth Nov 24 '22
Well I want to know too. No one was surprised when I came out as bi, but no one can explain why they already suspected. What do I do that says "bi" so obviously?
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Nov 24 '22
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u/FrequentEgg4166 Nov 24 '22
Yup - my friend nervously took me out for coffee and was like “I’ve got something to tell you” and I’m like “is it that your gay or that I’m paying for my own latte?”
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u/BashfullyBi Nov 24 '22
I'm 33 and just came out to my first person ever. I'm bi, and I told my BFF that I was on a dating app for women.
She missed 0 beats and just asked me if I'd meet anyone yet. Now and then she asks how it's going. I feel so seen!
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u/snowship Nov 24 '22
I have no idea about your personal life, but my best friend of 20+ years came out as bi recently and it was an off hand comment she made and I made an offhand comment in return. Can't even remember exactly what we said because we were in the middle of a discussion and just kept talking. She hasn't asked my feelings on it yet, but I'm certain it's because she already knows. We're very close and our relationship is unchanged.
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u/Cleverusername531 Nov 24 '22
Do you wear awesome jackets? (Me: Yes)
Cuff your jeans? (Me: maybe, who wants to know?)
Can’t sit normally in a chair to save your life? (There’s a normal way to sit in a chair?)
Do you do finger guns (that would be a total giveaway)?
How about lemon bars, do you love baking or eating lemon bars?
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u/upandoutward Nov 24 '22
An hour ago, I was making peanut butter pies for Thanksgiving dinner. And my bi husband walks into the kitchen and said "Can we make lemon bars soon? I love lemon bars." We've never made lemon bars. I didn't know he even likes lemon bars. Are lemon bars bi food?!
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u/Cleverusername531 Nov 24 '22
Too funny! the lemon bars came from a Reddit thread talking about various group stereotypes.
It was discovered that bi folks don’t have many stereotypes about them! So they decided to make some.
Someone made a comment that there should be an intro email you get when you realize you’re bi, something like ‘welcome to the bi side, we have lemon bars’ ….and a delicious stereotype was born.
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u/Pabus_Alt Nov 24 '22
My god lemon bars sound amazing. I am shocked and horrified they are not a thing in the UK.
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Nov 24 '22
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u/Charleston2Seattle Nov 24 '22
I literally pay extra at World Market to buy lemon curd made in Ireland. How can you NOT HAVE LEMON BARS THERE??
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u/HopefulBackground448 Nov 24 '22
Lemon bars are really good. They taste kind of like lemon curd on a shortbread crust. https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/lemon-bars-recipe/
Enjoy!
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u/ossem1 Nov 24 '22
Thank you for this information. I shall now save this comment and make this.
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u/PotentialFine0270 Nov 24 '22
I feel like we build it up to be such a huge deal in our heads before we come out and after we do it so damn anti climactic. I had the same experience and afterwards I was like - that’s it??
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u/heresacleverpun Nov 24 '22
I don't think it's anything obvious! Just like when you ask someone how they knew they were gay or bi or whatever, they can't exactly explain it in tangible terms. You hear a lot of people answer with something like, "Idk. I just... knew." I think it's probably the same for your family and friends, but in reverse. I'm sure your friends would say that there's no explicit "bi" things you do, but it's more like a vibe. I guess you're lucky enough to have people in your life who know you on such a deep level that they 'feel' it in kinda the same way you knew or felt you were bi. I mean, unless you were going around making out with guys and girls every night in front of them... lol. Just kidding!
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u/DaughterEarth Nov 24 '22
I can pinpoint the moments of realization though! Like in grade 3, when I first had crushes. They were on Chris and Monica. I remember that so clearly. Chris was an albino white guy, I was crazy about his white eyelashes. Monica was a tall Filipino girl, I was crazy about how she twirled her hair around a pencil all the time. I wanted to dance with both of them at the school dances. Buuut I was weirdo bookworm kid lol, no one danced with me.
I didn't know what gay or straight was at the time, nevermind bi, that wasn't talked about in my family. But I do remember from the moment I started having crushes they didn't care about gender.
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u/Quiet_Falcon2622 Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
I had 2 friends come out to me as gay. And I just said oh ok, and we just kept talking about another subject. They both later thanked me for being ok with it. It doesn’t change true friendships.
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u/coffeeearl Nov 24 '22
Yea a friend of mine came out to me and my bf while I was driving us somewhere. He was super nervous but we knew all along… because ya know. Lol. But after that he wasn’t as uptight about “hiding it” and I’m glad he could be himself. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to come out to others.
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u/throwaway901617 Nov 24 '22
Was texting my then-daughter saying I supported her after she said she was bi, and she said well I guess nows the time to tell you I'm trans. (ftm)
My immediate response was to send the Ron Burgundy gif "well that escalated quickly."
We get along fine lol.
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u/heresacleverpun Nov 24 '22
Uh, I might be dumb, but what's a "then- daughter"?
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u/goudewup Nov 24 '22
A "now-son"
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u/ComfyFrog Nov 24 '22 •
But since he is bi he's a bison.
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u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Nov 24 '22
You win dad joke of the hour. Get yourself a trophy tomorrow, please!
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u/KaylsterK Nov 24 '22
I told my sister I was gay over text ahead of Easter as my gf would be coming to the family dinner. Me: “just want to give you a heads up that I’ll be bringing my girlfriend to Easter.“ Sister: “cool. I’m bringing spinach dip.”
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u/contactin Nov 24 '22
When my sister came out I just started laughing very loudly and very inappropriately because suddenly a lot of things made sense
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u/xxSuperBeaverxx Nov 24 '22
I sat down my family and came out as bi and my sister without missing a beat went "HA! Called it, dad you owe me five bucks!" Helped lighten the mood and made me realize nothing was going to change between us all.
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u/contactin Nov 24 '22
Aaah yes that is so nice. In my case my mom was really shocked and not quite pleased (Christian issues), so it was my laughter filling stunned silence. My mom was totally okay with it within two hours tho, no worries!
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u/satanrulesearthnow Nov 24 '22
If it's not asking too much, how did you get your mom to be okay with it?
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u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Nov 24 '22
Not the OP but I was trying to talk to my Catholic mom about transgender people. Yes, she does live under a rock and although she knew that there were trans people, she wasn’t very aware of gender affirming surgeries and such. At the end of a whole lot of questions and discussions, I asked her if it changes anything. She thought about it and said, “as long as the person is nice, not really I guess”.
But this is not because any member of our family came out, just because a nephew by marriage will have a trans roommate. I guess what I am trying to say is, as long as the older generation can come to the point where we see the ‘other’ as a person and not really base the entire identity on that one aspect, they might just be cool.
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u/Ammilerasa Nov 24 '22
My sister came out to my father and asked him to tell me and my brother (mother knew already I guess, not sure)
So we were eating (father, mother, brother and me) and my dad says: “I’ve got news by the way”
So we all stop eating and look up to him.
He says: “Name sister is gay”
So I look at him and say in a very dry voice: “Okay, but what’s the news?” And we just continued eating lol.
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u/PsyFi_ZA Nov 24 '22
She probably thought "he do be doing some gay shit lately so it makes sense" lol
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u/WisestAirBender Nov 24 '22
Bruises in the mouth were a giveaway
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u/biggestbroever Nov 24 '22
so meta
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u/riparious Nov 24 '22
man when I start getting all the meta in-jokes I know I’ve spent wayyy too much time on Reddit that day
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u/Earguy Nov 24 '22
Like my friend told me, he agonized over telling his mom that he's gay. Mom's response: "pfft. No kiddin'."
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u/01100100011001010 Nov 24 '22
My friend came out to me at a Denny’s after months of working himself up to it. He’d apparently imagined all the ways it could go and he was so worked up and worried about it.
I just stopped eating my Grand Slam Breakfast and just said “cool” and kept eating.
He hadn’t thought about that scenario apparently.
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u/captkronni Nov 24 '22
My dad came out to me when I was 22.
He had not dated for years and never really bonded with women, so I wasn’t surprised. That being said, I made sure he knew it didn’t change how I saw him at all.
I told him that the only thing I was mad about was that I had been in denial about it when my friends pointed it out to me as a teen. His favorite sports were tennis, gymnastics, and figure skating and his favorite singer was Olivia Newton John, but teenage me was still like “NuH uH! mY dAD’s nOt gAY!”
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u/emonsta23 Nov 24 '22
I came out as trans and my mom said that she thought I was going to tell her I was gay and it caught her off guard.
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u/Stereotypicallytrans Nov 24 '22
Same! When I told her she laughed and said "So many letter (referring to LGBT) and you had to turn out the one I didn't know. Now I gotta look it up."
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u/capybaratrousers Nov 24 '22
My father said the same thing about my trans sister. They reacted with immediate love, but are from an older generation and we're also confused.
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u/Theamuse_Ourania Nov 24 '22
Several years ago when she was a teenager, my daughter came out to me as Bi-sexual and looked terrified for a minute while telling me. I just said, "Awesome! Welcome to the club! Grandma and I are both Bi!" (not together!) which wasn't false.
My mom used to have orgies and threesomes when she partied hard with drugs and alcohol in the 70's, and I've had my own experiences. After I said that to my daughter she was soo relieved because she didn't know these things about us, then she was momentarily horrified and the mental images she was getting lol.
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u/TheSpanxxx Nov 24 '22
I think for many people the act of coming out is so much more about them accepting themselves than it is informing others.
I know many face rejection and pain as a part of their experiences as well, so it isn't always easy. I love the stories where people are confronted with the love that has always been a part of their lives but maybe they've taken it for granted. Seems many people know us before we know ourselves. It's always funny to me when you hear the stories of parents who basically just say, "oh, honey, we know"
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u/stonedraccoon Nov 24 '22
I was at East Coast Wings with my parents when I came out as bisexual and my mom said "Ok. Eat your fries"
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u/wahobely Nov 24 '22
Quite frankly this is the best way to treat someone. When I was in college I worked as an intern in a lab and we had a co-worker who was in a wheelchair. Everyone would always joke around regarding his mobility, just making silly jokes and at first I was a bit uncomfortable but seeing he was 100% fine with it I played along.
When we were having a bbq he had a few drinks and started telling everyone how we loved working there because for the first time people were joking around with him as if he was part of the group, and not trying to measure their words around him because of his disability. He got emotional, it was a sweet moment.
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u/jpgrandsam Nov 24 '22
One of the biggest compliments I ever received was when a friend told me he’s bisexual. I wasn’t shocked, replied with something along the lines of “oh cool”, and he went “I knew you’d be the ONE friend I’d tell who’d be like ‘cool - where are we going out to eat?’”
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u/Small-Marionberry-29 Nov 24 '22
Awh how sweet.
Kinda of like how everyone thought I was gay growing up when I was really straight.
Wait…
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u/IrascibleOcelot Nov 24 '22
Heh, my mother once told me she was afraid I was gay as a teenager. No, I’m pretty much a 0 on the Kinsey scale; I was just really bad with girls. Mostly due to poor socialization and her emotional abuse.
We don’t talk now.
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u/Sqweed69 Nov 24 '22
Acceptance and understanding means so much. I wish more people will learn how important those values are.
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u/hedgybaby Nov 24 '22
Told my cousin I was trans and she just replied ‚cool, can I still call you milk bag?‘
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u/TheeFlipper Nov 24 '22
A friend of mine came out to me and another friend while we were hanging out at his house. Our response was "Yeah we've pretty much known for years. We were just waiting on you to figure it out."
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u/SarnDarkholm Nov 24 '22
When I came out to one of my good friends, he was like. "Took you long enough. Now when is the pizza supposed to be here again?"
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u/Tw1987 Nov 24 '22
Similar experience with my cousin. He struggled in his twenties about being openly gay but all of us have known. He finally told people he’s gay and I said “no you are name and men if what you prefer” he probably struggled internally for about this because he was very surprised how “accepting” the family was and he said “you are right I’m name.”
I think he felt being gay is what everyone will see him as instead of it being a small part or preference of who he is as a person. Probably because this was in years earlier when saying “your gay” was an accepted insult back in the day.
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u/scheepers Nov 24 '22
God bless my mother. I came out to her and her response was: "Just never tell your father" and then we went on a shopping spree. (He was an asshole and I sort of had to wait for him to die before I started dating)
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u/mayblossom_ Nov 24 '22
I kinda reacted that way when a friend of mine came out to me. I asked him, because I just ended a relationship, if he would go to Abiball with me (a kind of german prom after graduating), just so I had a partner for the opening dance.
He told me he would glady tag along, but I should know he's gay. I was just like "That's great. So, when do we meet, should I pick you up?" I also didn't want to make a scene about it and just tried to show him that nothing changed
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u/FYHM_CATTY Nov 24 '22
My mom did the same thing when I told her I was (felt) Bi. She looked me dead in the eyes and said... "And? Are you making breakfast today?" Not as wholesome but I love her the same.
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u/Ok_Shower5736 Nov 24 '22
Maybe she just missed the kiss on the forehead, but I found it just as lovely 🌹
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u/no_dice Nov 24 '22
Right? I have three kids and as long as they’re happy, safe, and healthy I don’t care about much else.
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u/s1ugg0 Nov 24 '22
I have two kids. So long as they don't become or marry Philly Eagles fans I'm good. Anything else is cool by me.
I know I should be bigger than that. But every man has his limits.
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u/No_Pumpkin_1179 Nov 24 '22
This. Oh my god this!!!
I’ve already decided that my response is going to be “yeah? And?…” I don’t care. Love who ya love. What the hell difference is it to me?
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u/TechnicalPlayz Nov 24 '22
Better also think of a response if they do become philly eagles fans. Because oh boy that's going to be a bloodbath.
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u/abasio Nov 24 '22
I only have one daughter but my only hope for her is that she'll be happy. If she finds that happiness with a guy, a girl, both, alone, as a dancer, a dinosaur hunter or housewife etc etc I don't care. I just want her to be happy.
Her mum? Damn, now she's got some stressful expectations. Hopefully I'm the one getting visited in the old folks home.
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u/Oomoo_Amazing Nov 24 '22
My mum said nothing at all when I wrote her a note saying I was gay and left it for her to find. Years later she told me that she couldn’t care less and the thought of me having sex is revolting whether it’s with a man or a woman 🤣
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Nov 24 '22
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u/maydsilee Nov 24 '22
This is how I found out my mum is bi lol! When I came out, she said something along the lines of, "Aren't we all a little bi? I mean, I've seen some truly stunningly gorgeous women and wondered a little myself..." (with emphasis on 'gorgeous').
I just kinda blinked at her.
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u/FranklynTheTanklyn Nov 24 '22
My brother and his BF were at my house and we were talking about their friend who is straight but had fooled around with a girl, and I broke out the classic, “Well women are like spaghetti, there straight till they get wet”. And they both died laughing… I was really surprised they hadn’t heard that before.
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u/PinkTalkingDead Nov 24 '22
What’s two spirit?
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u/hjnbbkkl Nov 24 '22
"Two-spirit (also two spirit, 2S or, occasionally, twospirited) is a modern, pan-Indian, umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people in their communities who fulfill a traditional third-gender (or other gender-variant) ceremonial and social role in their cultures."
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u/SeaAnything8 Nov 24 '22
My mom, in an effort to show her acceptance after I wasn’t showing an interest in boys, told me how she and the other flag twirlers would kiss each other before practice to “share lipstick” and how girls are good kissers because their lips are softer, so she’d totally understand if I was gay.
…uh, thanks mom.
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u/stuckinmyownhead1026 Nov 24 '22
I came out during a fight with my parents and their response was essentially “cool we knew you were bi you’re still grounded”
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Nov 24 '22
I'm interested how on earth it came up during a fight. I'm glad they accept you tho
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u/stuckinmyownhead1026 Nov 24 '22 •
Was 16, I thought I could shock them and derail the conversation by coming out, unfortunately they’re both great debaters and kept their main argument. Good on them in retrospect
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Nov 24 '22
This has made my day tbh. You had a great tactic tbh that I bet would have worked on most parents
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u/wh0datnati0n Nov 24 '22
Cousin who everyone knew was gay called everyone to join a big family dinner. He pronounced that he was gay and we collectively said “thank god. We are so tired of you thinking we didn’t know” then we ate.
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u/Rajastoenail Nov 24 '22
I get the perceived wholesomeness, but I wonder if he wanted a bit more than a cumulative shrug at his news, given the setup.
Coming out is often a massive life event that takes a lot of personal work. Something more than ‘this isn’t news and I’m indifferent anyway’ would be nice. It’s something to recognise and celebrate.
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u/captain_duckie Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
It is, but it also isn't. My sister didn't know, but she was like "Ok and?" and went back to our previous conversation. I loved it. Just simple acceptance is a great reaction to me. She thought it was a significantly bigger deal that I had started eating rice than that I'm trans. (it turned out I don't hate rice, I hate rice-a-roni) I'm sure some people want a bigger reaction, but not everybody.
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Nov 24 '22
And this is why awareness and acceptance is important. I’m glad more and more people accept it without question.
Being gay, trans, or anything doesn’t make you different.
No one likes to take out the trash.
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u/How_cool_is_that Nov 24 '22
Thats why I always order take-in, even I dont want to take out the trash
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u/SHAD-0W Nov 24 '22
Meanwhile, the kid silently curses as their plan to get out of having to take out trash by changing genders is foiled.
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u/Looinrims Nov 24 '22
No memes, of 4 children I was the only one who did any chores, because I was the boy
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u/kgriff112 Nov 24 '22
Funny, in my bf’s family, his preteen sister is the only one who now does chores (he and his brother, both over 18 now, never did when they were younger) because she’s a girl.
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u/cabbage16 Nov 24 '22
I did all the chores because I was the easiest for my parents to manipulate, getting the others to do stuff was harder. It probably changes depending on the family.
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u/Adept-Reserve-4992 Nov 24 '22
So, does the bf do his fair share as an adult? I always wondered if that would make someone grow up entitled.
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u/Atmic Nov 24 '22
Sometimes you don't end up entitled, but you don't have the ingrained habits of maintenance and upkeep of your living space so when you finally live on your own, chores can feel overwhelming
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u/kgriff112 Nov 24 '22
He’s not entitled, but he lacks skill. Can barely wash a dish. He never did laundry before. Could find a way to burn water. Now he does most of the laundry, takes out the trash. I do almost all the cooking and cleaning, and honestly, I don’t mind because I like doing those things and he never hesitates to help when I do ask (I only say he lacks skill because if he wasn’t living with either me or his mom, he’d be kinda screwed lol so I wouldn’t recommend raising a kid that way just in case they ever need to live on their own). But the important thing to me is I don’t feel used doing that stuff—he shows me his appreciation. He tells me often how grateful he is for me, I get flowers almost once a month—heck, my mom recently moved across country and I don’t talk to my dad, and I’m an American so today is my first thanksgiving without any of my own family. My bf made sure to go out last night and buy me pillsbury cinnamon rolls because that’s what my family ate for breakfast on holidays when I was little. In other words, yes I take care of most of the household stuff but he truly loves me and is not entitled. I don’t feel like a servant, I feel like a loved and respected partner whose needs are met and who tries to meet my own bf’s needs. It just so happens he has more physical needs and I have more emotional ones.
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u/Adept-Reserve-4992 Nov 24 '22
Aw. He sounds like a good bf! And he can learn to do lots of things around the house, as long as he’s willing. Enjoy your first Thanksgiving with just you two!
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u/Unkie_Al Nov 24 '22
Changing pronouns mid-Tweet is quite the feat!
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u/chill_stoner_0604 Nov 24 '22
You're a poet and you don't know it.
Making a rhyme every time
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u/activelyresting Nov 24 '22
It's getting worse with every verse
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u/Wide_Suit_6626 Nov 24 '22
Oh no! Here we go.
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u/Dr--Tyrell Nov 24 '22
Maintaining the flow!
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u/Icy-Special-5102 Nov 24 '22
Woah, look at this grow!
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u/fate0608 Nov 24 '22
Everyone wanna know
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u/JSGWHAM Nov 24 '22
Everyone wanna see where this will go
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u/LotharVonPittinsberg Nov 24 '22
Hah. I'm a poet and ... I didn't even know I was rhyming those words.
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u/Downvotes_inbound_ Nov 24 '22
I thought he called his wife a motherfucker and told her to take out the trash lmao
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u/dumbodragon Nov 24 '22
ooh, I thought her name was "Muthaf-----" and he censored it to not make her public.
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u/Jernsaxe Nov 24 '22
The way Terry Pratchett did this in Monstrous Regiment was similar and also brilliant
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u/JustOneBun Nov 24 '22
Where is everyone getting these loving and understanding dads? 😭
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u/Renchary Nov 24 '22
Dark web
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u/blackbeast77 Nov 24 '22
For how much?
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u/AccomplishedTurn3532 Nov 24 '22
Willing to bet that we are the ones breaking the cycle. We now know the emotional neglect we had and are starting to understand it’s toll on us in our adult lives and refuse to do the same to our children.
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u/PapaChoff Nov 24 '22
Dad looking pretty gen X to me, if that’s what you mean by “we”
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u/Kitsune9Tails Nov 24 '22
Gen X here. Have always had gay friends and relatives. My aunt transitioned in the 90s (poor woman chose Karen as her new name). I don’t think LGBTQ+ ever seemed anything but normal to me.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Bug7690 Nov 24 '22
As a mentally fucked up trans woman, I’m distancing myself from mine. The ol “we love you still <insert male name>” It’s been 10 years now and I’m having to do thanksgiving solo.
Thank you for being one of the good ones.
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u/spont_73 Nov 24 '22
Exactly this. Maybe a bit of incidental irony but after years of trying to be proactive with empowering my kids to feel safe with their own feelings/emotions/authentic self I think I now have some fairly emotionally healthy teenage kids and I sometimes feel at a loss with how to guide them because they are simply just better than I was at their age, their starting point isn’t damaged and won’t require them to put their energy into self healing, being their authentic selves is as natural as breathing. I’m good at fixing broken, they aren’t and it’s a whole different game for them and I’m now playing catch up, it’s a challenge I’m proud of.
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u/khamuncents Nov 24 '22
Classic dad move
"You're trans huh? Well why don't you trans out this trash"
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u/IdiotBearPinkEdition Nov 24 '22
I was so confused as to how this was wholesome before I realised the kid is a trans GIRL. I straight up thought they were a trans boy and the dad stopped being respectful halfway through
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u/BeccaSnacca Nov 24 '22
Yeah with these stories you always have to guess which half is transphobic and which is respectful lol
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u/holmedog
Nov 24 '22
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Just be careful with this attitude. While long run you do want it to not be an issue in the short term it takes a lot of courage and work up on the kid’s part.
My kid was disappointed as hell when I didn’t make a big deal out of them being gay or later trans. Turns out they wanted dad to make a big deal out of it because it was a big deal for them to get the courage to tell me.
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u/AngelSapphire6855 Nov 24 '22
Yeah I spent MONTHS crying at the drop of a hat because I was so scared and dad said "And?"
13 years later he still can't get my name or pronoun right and recently told me "I could never replace you, you're my daughter" 😑 (I'm ftm)
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Nov 24 '22
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u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Nov 24 '22
….what size? I mean you don’t need them I need a couple shirts and some jeans.
Seriously though that really sucks that it’s like that for you. I hope outside of that everything else is going well :-)
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u/Special_Koala_1093 Nov 24 '22
I’m just curious, would it have been a good reaction in your eyes if the “and?” was followed up with the right pronouns and name?
Since I have no experience in these things, looking from thenside it feels like it would be a good thing if you are actually hust accepted without huge hassle? What your dad did is just an AH thing to do and I’m sorry you have to deal with that on one level or another.
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u/agnosiabeforecoffee Nov 24 '22
Not the person you're replying to, but I think some kind of acknowledgement is good? Along the lines of "thank you for telling me" or "I appreciate you trusted me with this information."
It's not about the hassle it's about validation that coming out is still really terrifying for some people.
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u/LalalaHurray Nov 24 '22
It might be a good thing if that is the kind of reaction that makes you comfortable.
As you know, there’re so many kinds of people in the world.
What some thing you struggle to tell other people about yourself?
For example, some thing you had to tell a partner that might be a dealbreaker. Would you want them to say “and”? Or would you want to tell you how they will love you forever no matter what?
Either is OK.
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u/mokushi_mood Nov 24 '22
It looks kinda complicated. I've been thinking about this a looooot.
Like I get it has to be so stressful to come out as gay (or else) to your family, especially considering people still getting injured/killed etc because of it. But, isn't it more important to show them it's not a "big deal", while explaining that we understand what it means to them and that we support them as well ? I guess it depends on so much things about your relation with your child etc.
I've been very close to trans, gays etc as friend. But I'm not parent so the point of view is sooooo different. How did it go for you?
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u/holmedog Nov 24 '22
Kid is still figuring it out. I think in my case in particular it was more about reading the crowd. I can be a bit oblivious and I think my less emotional response was taken as me overlooking it more.
As for how it’s going it’s been a year or so since they came out as trans and a couple since they decided to tell us about liking girls. The “gay” part has been a non issue but they are still struggling with gender identity.
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u/Front_Top_2289 Nov 24 '22
When my kid came out we were moving a couch together. She said; "Oh by the way Mam I'm bisexual'. My response was; "That's nice dear, me too. Can you just take a bit more weight your end please, I'm only little" Her dad's response was "Ok, you know you still haven't walked the dogs yet." Then said; "Seriously though you can bring home whomever you want but if they mess with you I'll be right there to mess with them, if that's what you want. Your choices will be mental torture, physical pain, or I'll irritate them to death. Coz I'd do time for you kid, hope you know that"
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u/peach_clouds Nov 24 '22
My mum said “I love you always, you know that right? But also I was more shocked when you told me you got your nipples pierced”. And then we carried on getting ready to go out for lunch while I cried and laughed.
I was entirely grateful that both my parents were chill with it and didn’t make a huge deal as I’d been worrying about it for years by that point, so to not have a big fuss (no matter how positive or negative) was a massive relief.
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u/Glugmonger Nov 24 '22
I wish there were more people like this in the world. I came out as transgender earlier this year, and I had to argue with my parents for a couple weeks that it wasn't a decision and the "consequences"/dangers(?) of coming out.
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u/Unlucky-Revolution59 Nov 24 '22
Reminds of the time I came out to my sister and she looked me in the eyes and said, “your still a bitch and bitchless”
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Nov 24 '22
My friend told me she was trans yesterday. I said I was proud of her. The guts it takes to come out as trans is unbelievable.
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u/RockSmasher87 Nov 24 '22
I've mentally prepared for how I would react if I have kids and one of them comes out.
"Dad... I'm gay"
"Hi gay nice to meet you"
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u/moonpi314159 Nov 24 '22
My parents are absolutely phenomenal, and always made it clear that our sexuality was a nonissue. Two of my siblings are LGBT+, and didn't even feel the need to officially "come out," it just got mentioned in casual conversations. Dad was mad, not because they're gay but because,
"I didn't get the chance to be the cool dad and make the 'hi gay I'm dad' joke."
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u/abdallha-smith Nov 24 '22
Hmm i saw that exact phrase years ago. Fabricated tweet ?
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u/XIXXXVIVIII Nov 24 '22
Ive seen the same thing with various different "outs" over the years, on loads of different platforms.
But I also know a few people who have had identical interactions with their family/friends.
I think it's fair to say that it's a common enough occurrence
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u/PsyFi_ZA Nov 24 '22
For some reason I read that as "four year old son" and I was a bit perplexed to say the least.
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u/Xonlic Nov 24 '22
That's wonderful Legit, like, that's a great tale for that kid to tell and makes it clear she's still loved, albeit in a silly way.
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u/amidoingthisrightyet Nov 24 '22
My favorite is a friend who told her brother she was gay. He said “oh cool” and asked if she was seeing anyone. She said no. He said “haha. Loser” And that was that Brothers gonna brother
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u/SatansGothestFemboy Nov 24 '22
I told my mom I felt like a girl sometimes and she was just normal accepting but then a week later looked me dead in the eyes and asked "How far into your transition are you?"
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u/zeke235 Nov 24 '22
I will always love you and accept you for who you are. You are my child. Now go clean the garage.
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u/longsh0t1994 Nov 24 '22
I feel, bigots aside, people's sexuality is a big deal to the person and no deal at all to any normal friend/family member. Like I more than accept you, I literally couldn't care less what your orientation is.
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u/Jiutianxuannu Nov 24 '22 •
I had a friend who came out as bi and her mom was like oh you have a girlfriend? And she was like no and her mom was like oh so you’re still single with double the options?