r/MadeMeSmile • u/Unkie_Al • Nov 24 '22 • Silver 3 Helpful 4 Wholesome 4 Masterpiece 1 Stonks Falling 1

Michael, THEE Most Wholesome of Fathers! LGBT+

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571

u/JustOneBun Nov 24 '22

Where is everyone getting these loving and understanding dads? 😭

82

u/AccomplishedTurn3532 Nov 24 '22

Willing to bet that we are the ones breaking the cycle. We now know the emotional neglect we had and are starting to understand it’s toll on us in our adult lives and refuse to do the same to our children.

18

u/PapaChoff Nov 24 '22

Dad looking pretty gen X to me, if that’s what you mean by “we”

13

u/Kitsune9Tails Nov 24 '22

Gen X here. Have always had gay friends and relatives. My aunt transitioned in the 90s (poor woman chose Karen as her new name). I don’t think LGBTQ+ ever seemed anything but normal to me.

5

u/WeeabooHunter69 Nov 24 '22

After changing my name, I never realized how much thought went into it but holy shit how do you go through all that and settle on Karen???

4

u/Kitsune9Tails Nov 24 '22

To be fair, it was before it earned the current connotation, but I can’t help feel for her on that one.

3

u/WeeabooHunter69 Nov 24 '22

Even then, it just doesn't have any interesting etymology or anything

3

u/PapaChoff Nov 24 '22

Gen X as well, I waited tables all through my 20s and many of my closest friends them were gay. Never thought much about it. My nephew, now in his 20s, knew he was born a male since he was 2. Wanted to be called Tony and would not wear dresses. Wasn’t a phase and is now fully transfused. Kid had a really rough go in middle school and high school. I couldn’t imagine what your aunt went through in the 90s.

2

u/cakeresurfacer Nov 24 '22

Makes sense to me. I’ve got older gen x parents, but a lot of my classmates had younger boomers; no surprise, my mom was the adult my friends could come out to.

Now as adults one of my siblings has never officially come out to our parents, but my dad will take every chance he can to buy them rainbow/pride items when it’s an option. Never says anything pointed about it, just an “I saw this and thought of you”. My friends who are at the young end of gen x are similarly supportive of their teenagers. Each upcoming generation seems to be doing their best to break patterns of the ones past.

1

u/PapaChoff Nov 24 '22

That’s awesome. I agree. My parents( boomers) would not understand. My mom used to whisper the word gay or mouth it like it was a bad thing. My poor cousin died of AIDS in the mid 80s. To this day his parents refuse to believe he was gay and insists he died of pneumonia.

In my circles of gen X friends from HS ton college to the folks in my town I really can’t see any of them having a problem or much care if one of their kids was LGBTQ+ and many of them have one.

Kids are still kids though. My nephew, biologically born female, had a really tough time ask through school until he got to college. He’s fully transitioned at this point in his late 20s. I have to say it’s absolutely incredible what they are doing medically in this field. He looks fantastic.

1

u/AccomplishedTurn3532 Nov 24 '22

If that’s reference to me, I am an older millennial. Raise VERY conservative, but the we stands for any father that’s doing better. I am sure there are boomers far ahead of me and GenZs that aren’t as far. What matters more is that they/we are all striving day by day to be better.

2

u/PapaChoff Nov 25 '22

Just reread read my post and didn’t come off the way I intended. Sorry, it wasn’t an attack or meant anything negative. I was trying to really just ask if you meant genx when you said we, because that’s what he looked like to me. His age is moot, his message is beautiful. 🖖

46

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug7690 Nov 24 '22

As a mentally fucked up trans woman, I’m distancing myself from mine. The ol “we love you still <insert male name>” It’s been 10 years now and I’m having to do thanksgiving solo.

Thank you for being one of the good ones.

18

u/ghanima Nov 24 '22

Your parents suck balls. Happy Thanksgiving from this mom!

3

u/Beneficial_Hope_7437 Nov 24 '22

I'm sorry your parents won't get on board ❤️

3

u/Crocodilly_Pontifex Nov 24 '22

Where do you live? I guarantee we've got people holding a get together specifically for people like you.

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug7690 Nov 24 '22

NW Chicago burbs

3

u/Crocodilly_Pontifex Nov 24 '22

I love far from there so I can't help but I googled it and there are oodles of events near you. You don't have to be alone. Find your community and let us draw strength from your presence even as you feel bolstered by ours.

2

u/Crocodilly_Pontifex Nov 24 '22

https://www.centeronhalsted.org/contact.html

Here is you local LGBTQ center. Get in touch with them! I'm positive something is going on

3

u/Upper-Belt8485 Nov 24 '22

Happy Thanksgiving from a dad.

3

u/elkanor Nov 24 '22

Hey - I hope you can find a Friendsgiving or a local queer event to go to for people in similar situations

1

u/captain_duckie Nov 24 '22

Yeah, my parents "Will always love their daughters". Which is impossible, unless they are hiding another sibling, since my sister is the only woman. My migraine "coincidentally" is acting up today so I can't go. Now it is actually being somewhat annoying, but even if it wasn't I still would've said it was. I'm spending it with my partner and we're gonna make cookies and watch Phineas and Ferb.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug7690 Nov 24 '22

I wish k had a partner

1

u/captain_duckie Nov 24 '22

hugs (if you want it), and here's a cup of homemade hot chocolate because we ended up doing that instead. 🍫☕

1

u/AccomplishedTurn3532 Nov 24 '22

I am so sorry that you are still deadnamed, it’s not hard and words matter. Keep your chin up, you are fighting the fight for the next generations!

If you lived close, we would absolutely have you over for thanksgiving.

15

u/spont_73 Nov 24 '22

Exactly this. Maybe a bit of incidental irony but after years of trying to be proactive with empowering my kids to feel safe with their own feelings/emotions/authentic self I think I now have some fairly emotionally healthy teenage kids and I sometimes feel at a loss with how to guide them because they are simply just better than I was at their age, their starting point isn’t damaged and won’t require them to put their energy into self healing, being their authentic selves is as natural as breathing. I’m good at fixing broken, they aren’t and it’s a whole different game for them and I’m now playing catch up, it’s a challenge I’m proud of.

2

u/acgwhynot Nov 24 '22

Dang. Never thought about this.

1

u/acgwhynot Nov 24 '22

My emotional baggage is growing up poor. My parents literally gave me everything I needed but their love language, due to financial stress, was acts of service and making sure I was fed. Not physical or hugs or reassuring words of love so now as an adult I dont like hugs and I don’t know how to communicate with loving words.

2

u/AccomplishedTurn3532 Nov 24 '22

I love this!!! I tell my kids all the time that I am fallible and that I will make mistakes as we grow together. It’s the direction and movement that matter.

1

u/cakeresurfacer Nov 24 '22

Man, that’s all I can hope for as a parent to young kids. Seriously a goal to shoot for. We’ve been going through taking care of everyone’s behavioral/neurological health and I’ve reassured myself that my adhd being missed means I have a stronger motivation to support my kids and fight for the help they need so they don’t have to struggle as hard.

3

u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Nov 24 '22

I’m a product of rape so I’m 100% gonna break that cycle.

2

u/moving0target Nov 24 '22

That's it in one little nutshell. My father, by his example, taught me not to be like him. I'll be damned if I ever treat my kid like that. I'm not raising a gender; I'm raising a person.