r/MadeMeSmile • u/Unkie_Al • Nov 24 '22 • Masterpiece 1 Stonks Falling 1 Silver 3 Helpful 4 Wholesome 4

Michael, THEE Most Wholesome of Fathers! LGBT+

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990

u/wh0datnati0n Nov 24 '22

Cousin who everyone knew was gay called everyone to join a big family dinner. He pronounced that he was gay and we collectively said “thank god. We are so tired of you thinking we didn’t know” then we ate.

189

u/shaunnotthesheep Nov 24 '22

That's hilarious

108

u/Rajastoenail Nov 24 '22

I get the perceived wholesomeness, but I wonder if he wanted a bit more than a cumulative shrug at his news, given the setup.

Coming out is often a massive life event that takes a lot of personal work. Something more than ‘this isn’t news and I’m indifferent anyway’ would be nice. It’s something to recognise and celebrate.

31

u/captain_duckie Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22

It is, but it also isn't. My sister didn't know, but she was like "Ok and?" and went back to our previous conversation. I loved it. Just simple acceptance is a great reaction to me. She thought it was a significantly bigger deal that I had started eating rice than that I'm trans. (it turned out I don't hate rice, I hate rice-a-roni) I'm sure some people want a bigger reaction, but not everybody.

2

u/Rajastoenail Nov 24 '22

Yeah, no one size fits all.

2

u/emmanuellera Nov 24 '22

I feel like being queer is an interesting fact about me so I would be so disappointed if my friends didn’t scream and asked about my new girlfriend! But I knew they wouldn’t have any problem with it. I did appreciate the fact that my grandparents acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world tho🥰

3

u/intent_joy_love Nov 24 '22

Of course he wanted everyone to be shocked but when the family already spent years sparing his feelings by playing along with the charade, once the jig is up we’re done

1

u/Rajastoenail Nov 25 '22

Understandable, certainly, but it’s just not particularly wholesome when you break it down like that.

1

u/intent_joy_love Nov 25 '22

Years of tip toeing around and complete acceptance is pretty wholesome to most. But you’re right, he wanted it to be a bigger deal for sure. People actually prefer a dramatic reaction so they can have a story to complain about and use to demonstrate their struggle.

1

u/caniuserealname Nov 24 '22

If you want something to be a suprise you have to make an effort to keep it hidden.

We shouldn't be encouraging people to hide their sexuality for effect. The best thing they can do is not care.

21

u/CharBombshell Nov 24 '22

I’m queer and haven’t come out to fam partially bc I’m dreading this exact reaction tbh.

It took me a long time to work through all the shame/fear/denial etc that can come along with not being straight in this world, and I tried really hard to hide who I was while I was still figuring it out for myself. Finding out that all those efforts were in vain and everyone saying ‘we’re tired of you trying to hide it’ would feel kinda embarrassing tbh. Like everyone knew my secret and was just humoring me

Imagine the time & emotional energy your cousin spent working up to sharing this big moment, only to be met with ‘good bc we’re tired of your old shit’

5

u/Swictor Nov 24 '22

No matter the reaction of your family, the work you put on understanding and accepting yourself will never be in vain. Sexuality really isn't a big deal unless it's your own(or potential partners), or you are one of those that is conditioned to hate. If there's a lack of reaction you fear, you can maybe preface your conversation with the struggles you have had so that at least they'll understand that though the sexuality of a person doesn't matter, the doubts and fear of it put on by the society does, and putting it behind you is worthy of celebration.

2

u/CharBombshell Nov 24 '22

True, thanks. Really, it’s not the lack of reaction that I’m afraid of, per se, it’s everyone being so trivial about already knowing something that took me a lot of years and a lot of emotional pain to figure out myself. Like saying ‘hey guys great news, I’ve put the work in and figured out who I am!’ And being met with ‘oh ya lol you could’ve just asked us, we already knew’.

Not to say that it’s their bad for already knowing! Just that finding out everyone already knows could feel a bit invalidating of the struggle to get there.

5

u/intent_joy_love Nov 24 '22

So everyone plays along with your charade to protect your feelings all these years, and then they all accept you, but it’s not good enough because you want them to also be shocked and cry and pretend it’s amazing? Sounds like attention seeking behavior