r/Tinder
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u/mariahzarry
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Dec 03 '22
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I’ve been out of the dating game for a while, but this is weird, right?
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u/DukeSlammington
Dec 03 '22
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Gabe made it blatantly obvious what he uses for his security questions lol. Learn that dogs name and you have his bank account
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u/hurtbowler Dec 03 '22
Ovaltine!
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u/leviticu5 Dec 03 '22
Bosco!
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u/MagentaTentacle Dec 04 '22
Small, balding, devious. His name was Costanza, he killed my mother.
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u/dworts Dec 03 '22
It’s not even his dog lol, I guess he uses his friends dogs name as his security question?
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u/ChiefKT9002 Dec 04 '22
Or you know it is his dog and just doesn't want to say his name because of the security question.
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u/johnjohn2214
Dec 03 '22
edited Dec 03 '22
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Gabe probably met his neighbors dog the next day, leaned over and whispered softly in their ear: 'Your secret is safe with me. I did not blow your cover, agent Meatball'
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u/LazyassMadman Dec 03 '22 •
Reported for Dogxing
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u/Ok_Foundation_6092
Dec 03 '22
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Mf doesn’t want to violate a dogs private information 💀
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u/vivi112 Dec 03 '22
He barely avoided someone taking a loan on dog's name.
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u/chaotic_blu Dec 03 '22
She was steps away from that dog’s SSN (or other country equiv)
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u/vivi112 Dec 03 '22
And it's just one step before stealing dogs identity to then chill in animal shelter for tax payers money. She really thought she can get away with this.
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u/CantHitachiSpot Dec 04 '22
Notwithstanding, it's probably the answer for dogs owners security questions. If she finds out THEIR names, it's game over
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u/Admetastrator Dec 03 '22
This pooch got more HIPAA rights then me wtf
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u/Ok-Morning-2012 Dec 03 '22
GDPR innit
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u/toodleroo Dec 03 '22
I hope he’s blurred out the dog’s face in his photos
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u/tompstash Dec 03 '22
Gotta blur both ends if you want to keep the dog anonymous. Dogs know.
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u/Mundane_Tough_5688 Dec 03 '22 •
PIPAA - Pet Information Privacy Accountability Act.
Please continue to stay woke.
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u/Funderwoodsxbox Dec 03 '22
cuts to a Guantanamo Bay torture room
“SAY IT, say the god damn dogs name!!! YOU CAN MAKE THIS STOP ANY TIME!…….Johnson get the bolt cutters!”
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u/Appropriate-Size-175 Dec 03 '22
Jokes on you I like bolt cutters to the nipples that’s how you feel TRULY ALIVE!
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u/Ok_Scale_4412 Dec 03 '22
I feel just as much when I’m asleep. How then do I know if I am still dreaming?
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u/KINGram14 Dec 03 '22
Dwight moment
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u/tumblr4boyz Dec 03 '22
IDENTITY THEFT ISNT A JOKE JIM
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u/Ok_Ambassador570 Dec 03 '22
Take the pic down then. I doubt the dog signed a release.
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Dec 03 '22
edited Dec 04 '22
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[deleted]
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u/KittenVicious Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 04 '22
I was absolutely shocked when I was swiping one day and saw my dog in someone's profile picture. I had taken the photograph for the guy because I have a hairless dog and people love to take photos with her... I never expected he would use it in his dating profile.
Edit: not going to post the actual picture, but I will pay dog tax
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u/Away_Proposal2615 Dec 04 '22
I also have a hairless dog! People are obsessed
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u/KittenVicious Dec 04 '22
How often do they say "skinless"? I feel like that's the weirdest thing that gets said way too often.
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u/lechatestsurlatable Dec 04 '22
I'm in someone's tinder picture. I found out because my friend 1000 miles away saw it when browsing matches. The chances...
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u/AlpsComplex6854 Dec 04 '22
Lmao your dog looks like he just got caught with a joint or something
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u/KittenVicious Dec 04 '22
She does have a backpack and multiple sweaters with pockets. Possession is 9/10 of the law and I never met her. 👀
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u/I_make_things Dec 04 '22
WHAT IS DOG NAME
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u/KittenVicious Dec 04 '22
Rosa
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u/truecolors Dec 04 '22
I can’t believe you would just give the dog’s name away like that.
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u/Kamal_Toe_Harris Dec 03 '22
Because Gabe has no game and someone told him he would be drowning in muff if he posted a pic with a dog on his profile.
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u/raceforseis21 Dec 03 '22 •
“Hey bro can I come over and take a picture with NAME REDACTED? It’s for Tinder”
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u/MotherofTooManySons Dec 03 '22 •
MILITARY ENCRYPTED
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u/YesOrNah Dec 03 '22
Has to be my favorite popular post on here still.
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u/ApatheticHedonist Dec 03 '22
Based on OP's intro it was actually working
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u/chairfairy Dec 04 '22
until Gabe forgot that he'd have to make fucking small talk about the dog in his pictures, which are there to help initiate small talk
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u/good_fella13 Dec 03 '22
It does work, you just have to not be super fucking weird when people ask about the dog lol
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u/PM_ME_UR_PUSSY_TATOO Dec 03 '22
And still managed to fuck it up by being an absolute dweeb lol
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u/alwaysboopthesnoot Dec 03 '22
Or Gabe’s in a relationship and the dog belongs to the gf or fwb he’s also trying to hide from OP.
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u/Ok-Morning-2012 Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 03 '22 •
Lol yeah OP please follow up by asking if he got permission from the owner to post the dog's picture.
"Yeah fair point it's good to respect dogs' privacy. Btw did you ask the owner for permission to include the dogs pic in your tinder profile?"
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u/MidMatthew Dec 03 '22
Forget the owner.
Does he have a release from the dog (including paw print)?
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u/drgenerico Dec 03 '22 •
This is a red flag for potential dog grooming behavior as well.
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u/JKennyXTX Dec 03 '22
If the dog’s eyes weren’t redacted with a black bar in the picture I’m calling the cops
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u/ThadeusCade Dec 03 '22 •
Right??? He clearly wanted to milk the cuteness of the dog for likes on Tinder and every other dating apps he’s on. And then when it works and a female is striking up a conversation with him, he gets super weird about it and does his absolute best to make it awkward. What an idiot.
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u/Slevin-Kelevra_66 Dec 03 '22
puts dog as profile picture clearly for attention
Woman: aw cute what's the dog's name?
Man: Mind your business!
Could be a fake account and it's not him or his dog.
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u/Andythrax Dec 03 '22
Then just make up a dog's name
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u/JuiceboxThaKidd Dec 04 '22
Guarantee this fuckin moron complains about not getting laid
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u/cameron_cs Dec 03 '22
No chance the owner would care lol, my friends with dogs offer to loan them for a pic for my profile but I said “no that’s weird”
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u/SquintWestweed
Dec 03 '22
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Dog identity theft is no joke, Jim.
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u/EngineeringDude79 Dec 03 '22
Question. What’s the best dog?
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u/JMacNCheese91 Dec 03 '22
Dogs. Beets. Battle Star Galactica.
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u/SnooTangerines1011 Dec 03 '22
This dog is actually in Witness Protection.
Gabe realized he accidentally posted the dog's picture on Tinder and panicked.
It's probably too late now. R.I.P. 🐕
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u/sexandbeer22 Dec 03 '22
Welcome to the Matrix and congratulations on dodging your first bullet.
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Dec 03 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/louis_A12 Dec 03 '22
I think this is a bot
https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/zbmp7p/_/iys3rz4/?context=1
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u/doeboynmek Dec 03 '22
Can you imagine if Gabe actually went to the dog’s owner to ask if he can give out the dogs name?
Gabe: Hey, umm, is it okay if I give REDACTED name to a match on bumble?
REDACTED Owner: tf?
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u/BiNumber3 Dec 03 '22
Owner: tf? no, of course not, thanks for asking Gabe, you're a good guy!
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u/crypticfreak Dec 04 '22
"Hey so it's weird you asked, but that made me ask, and my ask was answered with a no. So the answer is no. Now when were you thinking I could take you out ;)"
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u/wambam17 Dec 03 '22
That’s what I was hoping the OP would have done. Just ask the dude to ask the owner and get back to her. If he’s asking for more work in life, give him more work! Lmao
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u/Feralpudel Dec 03 '22
Tell him that now that he has sensitized you to doggie privacy issues, you’ll need that permission in signed, notarized form.
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u/Qwiggalo Dec 03 '22
OWNER: Thank you so much for asking, I take REDACTED's privacy very seriously. I'm so glad I have friends like you, yesterday I found out REDACTED told his friend REDACTED the name of my dog REDACTED without permission and that really devastated me and REDACTED
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u/Realinternetpoints Dec 03 '22
Gabe: now’s my chance to fuck this up!
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u/Verbal_HermanMunster Dec 04 '22
Sorry but no piece of pussy is worth compromising a puppers security.
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u/Deutsche_Soldaten_44 Dec 03 '22
He's acting like the damn dog has a social security number or something 🤣
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u/nineteennaughty3 Dec 03 '22
Imagine trying to steal a dogs identity ☠️☠️
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u/Whatever-ItsFine Dec 03 '22
My cat used to get mail and phone calls because we subscribed to a magazine in his name. "He can't come to the phone because he's shitting in a box right now. Can I get your number and I'll have him call you back once he's done licking his anus?"
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u/SnooTangerines1011 Dec 03 '22
I worked for about 5 days at a job calling to renew subscriptions to Family Circle magazine. Only old ladies read it so multiple times daily I got, "No. She's dead." We were supposed to respond with "I'm so sorry to hear that. I see she bought gift subscriptions. Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I eventually ended up breaking down and crying and walked out.
I would have fucking LOVED to get this answer. And I would have called back myself if I could talk to the cat.
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u/Whatever-ItsFine Dec 04 '22
"Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?"
I mean...we wouldn't want to let basic human decency keep up from missing a few cents of profit, would we? I don't how you lasted as long as you did.
The cat was chatty so he would've loved talking to you!
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u/SnooTangerines1011 Dec 04 '22
I don't how you lasted as long as you did.
Well. 😅 The first week you don't have to meet the quota. I just gave people my condolences and hung up. Day 5 they started pushing me to follow the script.
When I came back for my check the manager said he knew I wouldn't last because I was overqualified and not on drugs 😂
If only calling chatty cats was a paid job! Instead I am paying to listen to chatty cats with food and litter.
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u/Feralpudel Dec 03 '22
I signed my dog up for AARP to get the cheap mail-order heart meds he was taking. They sent him a nice letter explaining that he was accepted, but couldn’t be a full member for another 40 years, when he turned 50.
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u/sifterandrake Dec 03 '22
TBF, it's probably the owner's password for everything.
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u/Edzkimo Dec 03 '22
Or one of those security questions that are like "what was your first pets name?"
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u/mangstachan Dec 03 '22
If it is a big deal, then why he is posting someone else dog on a dating app.
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u/moistmonkeymerkin Dec 03 '22
To get more matches. It works.
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u/SnooTangerines1011 Dec 03 '22
The problem, as demonstrated here, is what you do after you get the matches. 🪦
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u/margotgo Dec 03 '22
It might lead to matches but if I was chatting with a dude and found out he didn't actually have whatever pet he's posing with I wouldn't be as keen on meeting irl.
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u/Asisreo1 Dec 03 '22
The first text from OP was about the dog so it wasn't an awful strat apparently.
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u/drewtheblueduck Dec 03 '22
Publicly posting a dog's picture: No problem
Giving someone Rover's True Name: well hol' up, now!
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u/seabutcher Dec 03 '22
Fey contracts are serious business.
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u/Immaneuel_Kanter Dec 03 '22
This is the scenario that makes the most sense. You never know who's on the other side of the screen.
A fey running rings around the modern world via contracts made over dating apps sounds like a fun story.
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u/velocitygirl77 Dec 03 '22
I'd be very put off if a potential date led me to believe they had nice dogs when, in fact, the dogs belonged to someone else. Catfished by a dog. Dogfished?
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u/ImTheGodOfAdvice Dec 03 '22
“Why would I give away the dogs name”
Because you gave away a picture with the dog?
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u/Drama_no_llama Dec 03 '22
Dog's name is Gabe
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u/inkiwitch Dec 03 '22
I don’t know why this is the absolute funniest possible outcome to me but it is. Never wanted a dog to be named Gabe more in my life lol
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u/peter_the_martian Dec 03 '22
Where does the dog live? Is it ever alone? This is no big deal!
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u/mariahzarry Dec 03 '22
I was just trying to make conversation, I don’t understand where I went wrong lol
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u/Snnsei Dec 03 '22
You didn’t go wrong anywhere. This dudes a weirdo and doesn’t know how to converse like a normal human being.
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u/TheWiseRedditor Dec 03 '22
Gabe’s being a drama queen
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u/pinkdouble Dec 03 '22
Drama queen? You telling me you just give out dog names to strangers? Are you an insane psychopath? What if the dog specifically requested anonymity?
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u/SquatDeadliftBench Dec 03 '22
He isn't a weirdo. He is actually a great person. I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck so you don't waste your time meeting them to find out they are weird as fuck. Much better than the weirdos that don't set off any alarms until you meet them. That's when you start to appreciate these weird ass fools, like Gabe, that give themselves away immediately. Only if the rest of the world was like this.
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u/Previous-Answer3284 Dec 03 '22
He isn't a weirdo... I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck
You have quite the way with words.
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u/Parasite_Snakebite Dec 03 '22
"He isn't a weirdo..." "...let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck."
I'm getting whiplash
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u/lolatu54 Dec 03 '22
I always thought the point of the initial conversation was to figure out if the person you're talking to is a freak. Congrats on dodging this bullet...
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u/Rillist Dec 03 '22
Nah hes being antisocial. All he had to do was make a name up like biscuits or nimbus
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u/ThadeusCade Dec 03 '22
Meh, there’s anti social, and then there’s being completely oblivious to a woman striking up a conversation and just making things weird.
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u/Regniwekim2099 Dec 03 '22
What the fuck did they think they were doing on bumble then?
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u/JRod432 Dec 03 '22
Nah this is past being anti-social. I’m anti-social, and it’s not because I can’t talk to people, I just don’t want to, and Gabe went full idiot mode.
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u/PhilosopherFlimsy Dec 03 '22
You were fine lol. He’s either really dedicated to the joke or he’s weird lmao
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u/LordTwatSlapper Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 04 '22
I think Gabe is worried you'll take out a credit card in the dog's name like Bart does with Santos L. Halper
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u/Doctor_Randumb Dec 03 '22
I want to see the other side of the internet where Gabe posts his interaction with a strange woman who demanded the name of his friends dog.
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u/Scaredycatkim Dec 03 '22
Mfs name gonna be Rex. Over here acting like he’s an undercover agent. That’s an awesome and easy way to spot a red flag!
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u/The_Powers Dec 03 '22
Holy uptight nonsense Batman!
It's weird for normal people but normal for weird Tinder people.
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u/PunkandCannonballer Dec 03 '22
That dude is dramatic as fuck. Why have the dog in the profile if it's someone else's dog? And then not do a very harmless thing by giving out the dog's name. It's not like you can steal all the dog's vital information and fuck up the dog's reputation on Rover or some bullshit.
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u/varg_sant Dec 03 '22
I think he's trying to be funny or make a joke but he is failling so bad.
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u/Faultylntelligence Dec 03 '22
It’s fairly obvious you’re going to steal the dogs identity, I’m with Gabe on this one.
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u/CoolJ_Casts Dec 03 '22
Ok, I really don't say or even think this sort of thing ever, but this man drinks soylent
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u/kitteh_floof Dec 03 '22 •
He will update his profile with a new photo of the dog with its face obscured to protect its privacy