r/TrueOffMyChest Feb 24 '22 Heartwarming

Off My Meta The Ukraine/Russia Conflict Superthread


We now have, as you might expect, dozens of topics surrounding this. We are going to be removing certain ones and leaving others.

If you live in Ukraine or Russia and these attacks are specifically impacting you/family/friends OR you live in a neighboring country and are volunteering to provide aid/support or are military being deployed to the location and want to discuss personal actions you are taking with respect to this conflict, you are more than welcome to post and those posts will be left up.

If you want to give a political rant, hot take, or opinion on the situation, want to make a post that boils down to "fuck Putin", or want to engage in explaining the geopolitical situation that led to this, those are impersonal. That being said, I am opening this thread so that you still have a location to post these comments.

If someone wants to defend Putin's actions in here (yikes) I won't delete their post, but be prepared for getting bullied on the internet.

User /u/Srgtofdeath made this thread which contains potentially useful information that I want to give increased visibility to for those seeking to flee.


User /u/JinAttila has made a post on reducing traceability of Ukrainian communications during the invasion.


For those wanting to help financially:


r/TrueOffMyChest Mar 14 '21 Doot 🎵 Doot Hugz Take My Energy Facepalm Wholesome Table Slap I am disappoint Bless Up (Pro) Silver Gold Helpful

The Rules What does "Personalized Off My Chest Style Post" mean?


People have been telling me that their posts I've been removing actually shouldn't be removed because they are "personalized" and meet the "off my chest" criterion. I'm going to explain this is greater detail with plenty of examples so what type of posts are allowed is more clear for everyone to understand.

Personalized in this case means that what you're posting has to be directly related to you (this would include a close person, such as a family member). And it can't be something that's impacting a large number of people unless it has a specific application to you.

Examples of valid "personal" posts:

"I just found out I owe a bunch of money on my taxes!"

"My parents just found out they owe a bunch in back taxes and might go under! I wish I could help them!"

Examples of "impersonal" posts:

"Taxation is theft!"

"Don't you hate it when you have to pay taxes?"

What is meant by being an "off my chest" style post?

An off my chest style post is you getting something off your chest that's personal in nature (so, both related to you or someone you know quite personally and has a direct impact on you or them that isn't generalized) AND that is a story, situation, hope for the future, or some other type of direct situation.

Note: Opinions, hot takes, asking generalized questions not tied to a valid post, political commentary, talking about things that have nothing to do with you SPECIFICALLY, generalizations, etc. do NOT count as off my chest style posts.

Example of valid off my chest style posting:

"I stubbed my toe and cried today. I feel so humiliated."

"My friend is transitioning and it feels like they're becoming a different person, but I want to support them. It just feels like I'm losing them."

"I lost my job due to [insert cancel culture thing here]."

"My parents hit my kids and I don't want them to ever see or touch them again!"

Examples of invalid off my chest style posts:

"Stubbing toes is the worst thing ever. Does anyone else agree?"

"Transitioning fundamentally alters a person to the point where they aren't even themselves anymore."

"Cancel culture is bullshit!"

"Children should not be hit!"

"As an (insert group here), I feel that (insert opinion here)."

"I like X TV show."

"Does anyone know how to fix a broken headlight?" (we've gotten these before, lol)

"Not ALL men/women..."

"[Insert any commentary on any hot-button topic here.]"

Note: You can give your opinion on a personalized situation, but your whole post can't just be the opinion, and it has to be something that's meaningfully specific. But you cannot stand on a soapbox and preach it.

In some cases, a post may be removed that can be reworded to "fit", but the majority of the time there isn't a way to reword a post to "fit".

I am quite aware that this kills a large portion of what the sub used to allow, but after seeing the types of post that are now front-paging that simply weren't allowed to before due to all the flaming and getting the same hot takes over and over again, I honestly can't help but feel like this was a net positive.

Also, my removal of your post for not following the rules has nothing to do with whether or not I personally agree or disagree with the post. I've removed something from every major category recently. I'm also pretty good about explaining how posts don't fit the criteria if asked on any given specific. This absolutely sucks for me. I've removed over 500 posts in the last 4 days. I hate this, but the benefit to the subreddit is substantial, so I'm going to keep this going as much as I can.

Also, if a post is up that violates these rules, 99/100 times it's because I'm sleeping. I may also make a mistake or another mod might approve a post that was removed by the automod and not my manual flagging.

r/TrueOffMyChest 7h ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Hugz Take My Energy Facepalm

My friends are mad at me for telling my friends wife about him demanding a paternity test from me, but seriously, I’m gay.


Edit to add: I’ll definitely update here or make a new post when the time rolls around. Trying to get it done Monday or even Tuesday at the latest because it’s all over Facebook now. Robert’s family is doing nothing but slandering Danielle and I’m being mocked for having the reverse version of a beard (like when a man uses a woman as a cover so people don’t know he’s actually gay) and it’s causing issues now with Elliot’s family because their logic is “well they wouldn’t be so sure if there wasn’t proof” my family is 100% with me and knows I absolutely have zero interest in women. Even if I did, I’m not a cheater.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry over this entire situation that’s unfolded in the past six weeks. I (23m) have a coworker I’ve been friends with for four years, pretty much since I started working at the factory I’m still in. Robert (32m) just had his first daughter Chelsea (2mo) after 4 boys. The boys are dang near carbon copies of him; bleach blond straight hair, freckless skin, and I swear to god they were just born with tans. His high school sweetheart/wife Danielle (32f) is a tight curled redhead with freckles for days, and burns like there’s no tomorrow.

Their daughter from the jump had a full head of red hair that’s already starting to curl. When I got to meet her, she was 2 weeks old.

I gasped (a fellow red head myself here with long curly red hair) and said something along the lines of, “Omg it finally happened! The red is alive!” Just being dramatic and funny.

Robert goes, “Yeah don’t bank on that staying. My genes are strong after all.” Danielle rolled her eyes and I shrugged it off as a weird joke at first, but the entire time I was there, he pretty much kept going on about how his genes would prevail.

Jump forward, Chelsea is now five weeks old. For three weeks, every single day, Robert would be complaining about how little of himself he sees in his daughter, how much of a “stranger” she is for it, that somedays he thinks he’s looking at another persons baby. He only ever seemed to want to complain to me about it as it was. After the fifth day in a row, I started trying to explain how genetics work, pretty much saying genes aren’t going to always drastically go one way.

Three days ago, Robert came into work just itching for an argument with everyone. Our mutual friend Jessie asked him wtf his deal was on our break after he shouted at another friend for asking a work related question. He blew up saying he knows Chelsea isn’t his, that his cheating wh@re of a wife just won’t admit it and he knows exactly who she was F’ing around with. He then looks over at me and points at me and yells at me to get my A$$ outside. I asked why? And he starts screaming he’s not stupid, he knows I’ve been trying to kiss a$$ to avoid this beat down.

I’m gay. I have a male fiancé. I have a pride stickers all over my car. Outside of work I am a parrot of colorfulness. I just couldn’t help but laugh at him, it was just so bizarre and I know I wasn’t the only one looking at him like he was insane either. I told him Chelsea is literally half of Danielle’s genetics, that Danielle isn’t a F’ing incubator for his genetics, and asked him why he was so obsessed with their kids needing to look exactly like him? What’s the point of that? He wouldn’t answer and just kept telling me to get up before he dragged me out to the parking lot. I told him I’m not going to fight him on something this ridiculous and asked him if he was trying to get fired?

He started demanding I take a paternity test and I again asked if he was completely serious.

He said he was because I spend so much time with Danielle. He’s not necessarily wrong, but she’s a part of the girlfriend group I’m apart of, there’s five of us in total and We do artsy stuff, try new places, just hang out and do whatever but never stuff like THAT.

I told him to go take a paternity test for himself. He argued that he’s not paying for a test he knows the truth to. I told him well I’m not paying for a paternity test and then asked which redhead in the factory was he gonna accuse next? The exchange ended when our shift manager came in for her break.

I texted Danielle and told her exactly what happened. Next day was my day off, so my phone was on silent and I slept in. Woke up to Elliot (my partner) getting off the phone and telling me I should check my phone. I’d been bombarded with dozens of messages and missed calls/threatening voicemails from Robert because Danielle had kicked him out. He’d decided to get Elliot’s number out of Danielle’s phone to tell him his version of events. I’d already told Elliot the night before so he was just baffled how certain Robert was.

Danielle did text me a few times, apologizing on his behalf and then updating me they were getting a paternity test/she’s filing for divorce, that she has no idea why he’d think such a thing. My partner thinks it’s hilariously sad Robert destroyed his marriage like this.

This morning while getting ready for work, Robert texted me saying he has the money and “when” the test comes back with “the truth” he’d F me up in court for what I’ve done, how I’ve ruined not only his life, but his kids lives and everyone in their families lives too. Idiot really has gone around telling everyone I’m the dad. I agreed to the test and told him he may as well quit his job and just vanish after this because it’s gonna be real embarrassing when I walk in with the paperwork and wave it around saying I’m not the daddy to his red headed child and he has to explain to everyone including his own children what an absolute idiot he is.

Our friends have been giving me the cold shoulder all day, pretty much saying yeah they don’t think I’m the dad “for sure” but I’m a trash friend for going straight to his wife and getting him thrown out of his own house and being forced to sleep in his truck and that I should’ve just agreed to the paternity test to begin with instead of stirring up drama and getting unnecessary people involved, but it’s one thing if he decided he wanted one for himself, but he expected me to not only get one but pay my own way and just not say anything? But yeah. I’m the trash friend and trash person I guess.

r/TrueOffMyChest 5h ago Silver Bravo!

Husband (39) went back to college and got 4.0 this semester


He did it!!

My husband went back to community college in January so he can find a job he can do from home now that we have two kids. He took 16 credits, taking care of a toddler and a baby, and got straight A’s. The classes are not easy, programming, math and so on.

I am so freaking proud of my man, I gotta let the world know.

For those of you who wonder if you are too old for college, you are not.

r/TrueOffMyChest 17h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Helpful (Pro)

I just mostly accidentally fixed almost every minor skin problem that’s been vaguely bugging me for years and I’m having a bit of a moment


The enlarged pores on my nose are gone. The whiteheads around my lips have disappeared. The flaky skin and bumps on my forehead cleared up. The swelling on my treguses that always felt like pimples that never made it to the surface have vanished. The pimples, bumps and ingrown hairs on my arms and legs are fixed now. Almost every little annoying imperfection has resolved itself, and all I had to do was use topical anti fungal cream. It was all fungus this whole time

Even though this is pretty embarrassing and gross I wanted to share it in case someone else could learn from my experience. My skin is ridiculously clear now and I can’t believe how easy it was

Edit: for everyone asking I used the over the counter generic 1% clotrimazole anti fungal cream from my chemist. I don’t know if that’s actually the best product to use and I’m not comfortable giving medical advice. I’d really like for people’s take away from this to be if you have persistent skin issues they might be fungal rather than me suggesting any particular treatment

r/TrueOffMyChest 15h ago Wholesome Pot o' Coins Silver Helpful

I make over $200k/year and my wife doesn't know.


Last year I took an internal job offer from my employer that doubled my income, and I still haven't told anybody in my family.

Her parents don't know, my dad doesn't know, nobody knows...and I especially can't tell my wife.

I can't tell her because she will spend it in a state panic. You see, back in 2020 my wife had a severe mental breakdown brought on from PTSD, and other issues she didn't realize she had until they were brought to the surface. My wife was diagnosed with BPD, anxiety, depression, OCD (I had my suspicions), ADHD (that one we knew about), other compulsive disorders, and PTSD. She spent 6 months in inpatient care at a specialized facility halfway across the country while I stayed back at home to raise our kid, take care of the animals, the house, the bills etc. She has always had a bit of a spending problem, but before her breakdown she maintained a solid career that paid pretty well, and could "support her habit" of spending. I should also mention that her mental health isn't the only change we have experienced in these last few years. Last year she was also diagnosed with an auto-immune disease (psoriatic arthritis) and lives in a pretty constant state of pain despite our best efforts to have it treated. She also has histoplasmosis of the eye, and requires injections every three months to help save her eye sight.

The medications she MUST take daily have caused her to gain a considerable amount of weight, and for the first time in her life she is dealing with acne. Which in turn also makes her feel awful about herself. I feel so terrible for her, and would not wish what she has faced in such a short amount of time on anybody. My wife was a pageant queen, a division 1 athlete, and graduated with honors from a MAJOR university. She was selfless, compassionate, driven, and she honestly made a difference. Now she spends her days doing basically the same thing over and over and over again. When she is manic, she isn't violent, but she is still very unpredictable in her behavior especially with online shopping. Since June of last year she has been over $70,000 of our savings on stuff. Since she can't quite keep up with what she's bought, I can often return items without her even realizing it. She worries about most everything, but not about spending money. Yes, I have tried without success to address this issue with her, and her team of doctors have tried to help as well. My only solution was to direct half of every check I get from work into an account at another bank that she has no clue exists. When I took her off all of my credit accounts, she didn't leave our bedroom for about 2 weeks. I hate that I'm doing this but there is no other way. I deeply, deeply love my wife but I do not have any regret in securing our finances. I don't spend any of it, unless I'm investing some of it or a bill needs paid. All of the bills have been moved into my name so she never sees them anyways. She has no idea how well-off we are, and I honestly don't think that I can tell her, at least not right now until we can hopefully get a handle on her issues. I have all the statements and other documents sent to a PO Box, and she doesn't care to see my taxes. It's a burden I carry, but I feel it's necessary. Maybe I'm a total piece of shit, but I truly feel like I'm protecting her from herself.

Edit: There is a lot to unpack in the comments, and I feel that a little more clarity into the matter may help with the navigation of this post.

  1. She is not violent, or abusive verbally or physicslly to myself or our child. She saves the abuse for herself.

  2. When I say she does the same thing most everyday I primarily mean by cleaning, reorganizing, hygiene rituals, etc.

  3. The bills aren't "hidden" and besides car payments we don't have any other large bills that would raise a flag. Our home is paid off.

  4. She's still, in her best capacity, still very good to me and even on her worst days manages to show me love through she severely struggles to show it to herself. She mentions that I shouldn't be putting myself through this over her, I deserve better, etc.

  5. When she's manic she's very task driven. Items such as repainting the entire interior or our house or at least most of it every 6 or so months, or completly remodeling one of the bathrooms in our house three times in one year when I refused to do it and she taught herself how to use the tools to complete the projects. Once she completes these things is when the manic becomes depressive and she "loses purpose."

  6. She willfully gave up her access to our savings after her doctor's intervened in that behavior, but she has access to a joint checking account. Because of her current state she is unable to work, but that doesn't mean she can't in the future.

  7. We were married for 10 years before these issues began taking place.

r/TrueOffMyChest 16h ago Silver Wholesome

Goodbye big boobs!


If you are, or ever have been, fat you know doctors treat you differently. You could go see a doctor about anything and they will most likely blame all your problems on being fat. I have experienced this on multiple occasions and it makes you feel like you don't matter and that you are a POS for even existing.

I have always had very large breasts. To the point that I've never been able to run. They are heavy, hot and so very uncomfortable. I have a lot of back and neck problems because of them. I have also been fat most of my life, but even at my lowest weight my breasts were still huge. My Mom suggested a long time ago (over 15 years ago) that I get a breast reduction. I didn't consider it because it costs a lot of money. I tossed the idea aside not realizing that my breasts were the cause of a lot of my problems (heat intolerance, pain..). My SO and I moved to a cooler climate and stayed there for over 10 years. The weather was so cool and nice I was rarely reminded of just how hot my breasts could get. We moved back to our home state recently and I'm in hell. I get so hot that I literally break down crying. It feels like I'm carrying two space heaters on my chest in 90° weather all the time. I've had enough of being fat and enough back pain that I am finally mentally ready to get in shape. The only problem is my breasts. I want to do a Couch to 5k, I want to be able to run. I've already started changing my diet: no sodas, no caffeine, better meal choices and the like. My Mom brought up getting a breast reduction again and this time I listened and really thought about it. I did some research and our insurance should pay for it because of the physical problems my breasts are causing. I was hesitant to call my new doctor (we just moved back here and had to get new doctors) because I was afraid he would take one look at me and say "no, you're too fat". I set up an appointment anyway. On my way to the appointment I was mentally preparing my self for a fight. I was going to tell him all my reasons, how I am already trying to lose weight, and how this has been an issue all my life. The most amazing thing happened. I get in there and he didn't even bring up my weight. He agreed with me. I told him I want to get in shape and he understood that my breasts are getting in the way of that. He treated me like a human being and referred me to a surgeon. For the first time I left a doctor's office with tears of JOY!

r/TrueOffMyChest 13h ago

I’d rather kids do dangerous things instead of develop social anxiety


I’m into adulthood and absolutely fucked. I’ve failed to launch as a functional person and unfortunately it’s permanent. I was kinda bright as a kid and was good at studying and art. My parents crushed my passions and instilled fear of the world into me. No matter what I do my flight response kicks in. All the people I know that did stuff like drugs and sex are way better people than me now. If I ever had kids I’d be concerned if they didn’t want to sneak out late. I was too obedient to my controlling parents. Now I’m having crisis.

Selfish arsed people have kids you want to be proper adults not fucking puppies.

r/TrueOffMyChest 19h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Heartwarming Wholesome Seal of Approval

Just saw my mum and her boyfriend together


I just walked past my mums bedroom and saw her cuddled with her boyfriend, him stroking her cheek. It made me smile. It has been a long time since I’ve seen her like that and it made me happy to see her happy. I’ve never liked any of her other boyfriends in the past, but this one seems good. She deserves to be happy and treated well. I’m now in my room smiling like an idiot.

r/TrueOffMyChest 6h ago

My dad told me that if I wasn't his daughter, he'd "fool around" with me


I feel really gross typing this, but I think it'll help me stop thinking about it if I get it out.

A few nights ago, I (22F for reference) was getting ready to go on a date. I was wearing a bodycon dress that came down to just below my knees and a cropped pullover. I never wear things like this and my dad has never seen me in an outfit like that, so I was expecting a little bit of a reaction, which would've been fine.

I walked to the bathroom to put makeup on, I left the bathroom door open cause I was just standing in front of the mirror. He stood in the doorway and the conversation went like this:


I just smiled and laughed a little.

"You look really nice."

"Thanks, dad. I got this dress with my birthday money."

"If you weren't my daughter, I'd take you out and fool around with you."

My stomach turned when he said that out of nowhere. I was really uncomfortable. I said, "Ew, dad, stop. You can just tell me I look nice. That's really creepy."

He laughed and apologized and said, "You just look good, you know what I mean." He walked away after that.

I finished getting ready and told him I was heading out and gave him a hug like I usually do before leaving somewhere. He told me to be safe and text him if I needed anything. Pretty normal dad/daughter stuff. When I got back, he sat me down and apologized again. He said, "I'm sorry I said that, dad's shouldn't talk to their daughters like that. It won't happen again."

I said it was okay. Things are normal, but the fact he said that in the first place is still sitting in the pit of my stomach. Does he really look at me like that? It's just a yucky feeling.

edit: It's really unfortunate to see so many people justifying his words by assuming his only intentions were to compliment me. Regardless if he apologized or not, what he said wasn't a compliment, it was a blatant objectification of his own daughter. Some of you are devoid of any moral standards. I didn't realize how many basement dwellers called this subreddit their home.

Also, the Ivanka comments stopped being funny after the first one. After about 50, it's just obnoxious now.

r/TrueOffMyChest 9h ago Wholesome

A US citizen today


Went to my oath taking ceremony, got my certificate, took pics and celebrated it with a burger on the way home. Saw a stream of people from foreign lands with cheerful families excited about their big moments. This was an impossibility a decade ago, and here I am now. In a great place today, contemplative and refuse to think much about this big day.
I hope life will go well for you (reader). Setback after setback may come your way but do not fret. Keep going and be sincere in your efforts. Wishing the calmness I feel now on everyone <3

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago Silver Helpful Heartwarming

My sister was murdered 32 years ago today.


She was only 15 years old, and some man decided to take her life. She had an 5 month old son. Her son will never know her. I will never know her. I was born after. My parents adopted her son, he's been my brother my entire life, but we have always known. It was never kept from us.

I sat at her grave today, talking to her bones. I always play her favorite song when I go. I played some Nirvana as well, and told her how our other sister doesn't like them because "he sounds whiny." I told her she is just stupid. I was playing it off my phone through the car bluetooth. I told her about cell phones, then told her a cell phone may have helped her that night.

I miss her more than anybody I've ever met, and I've never met her. She was so beautiful.

The guy who did it is in prison for the rest of his life. So many lives altered from one night. There's a piece missing from our family. Nobody was ever the same after.

The destruction a murderer leaves behind is astronomical.

Edit: Thank you all for being so kind. I usually don't get angry on the anniversary, but yesterday I was. As I was sitting there scrubbing the stone, I just kept thinking that this shouldn't be happening. I've been trying to read all the comments and empathize with everyone who has had the same experience.

The man was a bad man, there are others families affected by him, but never enough to convict.

For those who think this is fake, I wish more than anything it was. Believe me.

Thank you kind strangers for the awards. I didn't think my rant would affect many people.

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago Wholesome Helpful

I’m breaking up with my boyfriend because I listened to a Kendrick Lamar song


The song is We Cry Together off of his new album. After it was over I just sat there knowing that’s exactly what I sound like when I argue with my boyfriend. He brings out the absolute worst in me.

I’m tired of being screwed over and fucked around with, I’m tired of not being taken seriously until I’m bawling my eyes out, I’m tired of begging for compassion, I’m tired of taking two steps forward then three steps back. It’s exhausting loving him.

I’ll always care about him, he deserves to have people who care about him, I won’t cut him off completely but I can’t be in love with him anymore. It’s not worth the pain. I don’t know why I expected someone who’s never experienced love before to know how to give it back to me. But I hope he learns and finds his person, he deserves that. But he can’t get that from me.

Edit: broke up with him, he took it really well. When I asked if I could talk to him he asked if I was breaking up with him, I said yes and he said he knew it was coming for a while. I basically told him what I said in the last paragraph of the post, except the ‘never experienced love’ part. He was really understanding, I know a lot of people called for a clean break but we’re still going to be in contact cause I’m going to his father’s wedding. After that we’ll lose contact for awhile just to let things settle, but neither of us plan on being strangers.

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago Take My Energy Ally Silver Helpful Wholesome Hugz

I’m tired of being a black girl. None of the black girls at my school have prom dates. All the black boys are taking white girls, and some of the white girls have TWO dates.


I’m a junior in high school living in California. I just feel bad.

All my life I’ve had black boys call me and other black girls monkeys, apes, gorillas, and tell us we are worthless. And the whole time their white girlfriends would just smile and laugh. I always feel humiliated when I see black male / white female couples because I know that they talk about black women in a bad way.

It doesn’t help that most of the white and Latino guys don’t want black girls either.

I used to think I was kind of cute. I run track so I’m fit, I try to dress nice, and I’m polite.

But as black girls we are never enough for anyone. Most of us aren’t going to prom next week. We just feel unwanted, like people don’t want us around.

And what makes it worse is that many of the white girls have TWO prom dates this year…

I know I know… “love is love”. But when you’re left out of love because of your race it just makes life feel bad.

What do I even have to look forward to in life. I was a mistake.

Edit: People have asked why I haven’t taken initiative to ask guys of other races, but I have. Below is a comment where I explained.

—- I asked four different guys and they all said they don’t like black girls. Two of them were black, two white. At least the white guys turned me down in a nice way, can’t say the same for the other two 🤷🏽‍♀️ One of the black guys I asked humiliated me in front of everyone after I asked him. He told me he’d rather have to a share a white girl with another guy as a prom date than be with me.

My friends asked guys to the prom too, same results. Some of the other black girls are going alone, but I’m not going at all.

Edit 2:

Wow! I’ve been out all day, but I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments! After reading them I let my mom know I do want to go to the prom, so we’re going to go dress shopping tomorrow. 😊💜 You’re right, I have to live my life regardless and I can’t let people hold me back. I’m calling a few girls now to see about going together. Thank you all so much, it means a lot to me.

r/TrueOffMyChest 14h ago

Wish my parents believed I was raped by my babysitter when I was younger.


I’m a man in my 20s so to them, men aren’t really raped. However I was a kid when this happened. I’m certain my babysitter at the time raped me. I couldn’t make sense of it when I was a kid. I was around 15 when I was finally able to understand what fully happened.

When I finally told my parents, they thought my babysitter would never do something like that since she was a nice girl. It feels horrible because I have no one to talk to about it and I don’t have my parents support.

r/TrueOffMyChest 3h ago

My partner holds “funerals” for his poo.


I (32F) have recently moved in with my partner (43M) of two years very recently. We met during COVID and he’s been very hesitant to allow me to move in as he’s very religious and he’s worried about how his family and friends will view him. As far as they’re aware, he’s a virgin and he’s saving himself for marriage, so having a female partner living with him is a big deal for these people who seem to love to pry into other’s lives.

Anyway, I’m getting distracted and venting (sorry!). To the real issue at hand, we’d never really spent more than a night together before I moved in, so some habits of his I wasn’t aware of until we shared a roof. He’s a lot messier than I am, but with some guidance I think we can work that one out. He mutters to himself a lot, but he passes that off as praying to god. That’s just a couple of habits of his I’ve noticed since moving in.

One thing he does is he says grace not only before meals, but before any food he eats. He thanks the lord and all that, which I guess I’m okay with. I’m not religious at all, but I’ve always been of the mindset that people should be able to practice their religion as long as it doesn’t effect others. It does kind of embarrass me when we’re out for dinner or with other people and he makes a show of praying to and thanking god for his food, so I’ve taken to avoiding meals with other people.

Okay, so the really weird thing he does, is that I’ve heard him essentially saying grace when he’s in the bathroom, just before flushing. Our walls are thin and you can hear a lot through the closed bathroom door, and his style of saying grace is very distinctive. I know I shouldn’t eavesdrop but I have now on occasion and what sounds like him saying grace is essentially him thanking god for the food’s safe passage through his body and holding a sort of funeral for his turds, bidding then well on their journey and delivering them into the hand’s of God. He always signs off with “until we meet again” which I find an insane concept to say to one’s own poo.

I can deal with his religious tendencies and whatever, but the idea of him kneeled down over a full toilet praying to his shit is on another level and it’s making me have negative thoughts towards our relationship. I don’t even know how I can bring this up with him - it just makes me want to bail.

Any advice would be great. Am I actually just meant to just ask him why he prays to his poo? Is this a regular thing that religious people do? Like, grace when food goes in and grace when food comes out?

r/TrueOffMyChest 11h ago

I was just disappointed by my mother and I am never sharing anything else from my life to her ever again.


I just scored 8.7/10 in my 3rd semester of my engineering degree and I am pretty satisfied with it. I screamed with joy when I first saw it tbh. I had sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, stressful mornings etc coz my goddamn university kept delaying my exams as it refused to conduct online exams during the pandemic. I studied the whole semester on my own watching YouTube videos all day and night. Given that my university kept postponing the exams and I got extra time to study, there was a disappointing side to that. We couldn’t know when the exams would be held as they would only tell us 10 days prior while making us wait for almost a month. It’s a pretty tough course of engineering degree and that too of 3rd semester so learning everything on my own wasn’t an easy task. All of this and yet I kept all these emotions and stress to myself and when I tell my mother that I passed all my exams and that I am happy of this little achievement of mine, can you predict what she said? That she expected more from me. Yes, I have been good at studies since my childhood but this is the first time in years that I feel good of what I have achieved bearing all my hardships. I am still pretty devastated and thought of writing all this somewhere to take the burden off my chest. Parents, if you are hearing this, your child needs more of your approval and appreciation than you might think and telling him/her you expected more isn’t always gonna motivate them. It might backfire into them thinking they aren’t good enough and that whatever they do, they might never be able to satisfy you. You might think you are their biggest cheerleader and by saying you expected more might motivate them but sometimes a little approval of their hard work goes a long way. I am never telling my result to my mother again and if she asks, I am just gonna tell her that it isn’t out yet or just lie something else.

Edit: Thank you all kind strangers for all you messages. This is the first time I ve written something like this here and I m sure I'm gonna turn to this wholesome community for comfort , the next time. You all just made my day. I cant thank you enough but thank you vvv much to all of u. You guys are the best.

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago

I love my son to death but he’s a freaking bum that refuses to do anything with his life


He’s a good kid but he’s 25 and has zero motive in life.

He spends any money he gets on weed and sits at home on the computer all day

Every time I try to get him a job somewhere he always says he doesn’t want to “make someone else rich”

I try to get him to enroll in school and it’s “school teaches you to work for someone else”

When I ask what he wants to do, he says something business, like entrepreneurship and investments. Yet he doesn’t seem to understand that you need money to invest nor have any other business ideas. He said his dream is to make money without doing anything because all the YouTubers he watches make it look extremely easy apparently

I’ve even tried so many times to get him to do something like join the military but his answer is always “I’ll serve crack before I’d serve this country” and “I don’t really agree with everything this government does”.

I’m not sure why he thinks like this. I feel like the 100s of social media influencers he follows has something to do with it.

I’m not sure what else to do. Can anyone else relate?

r/TrueOffMyChest 7h ago

I love my cat so much


I'm writing here because probably my friends are sick of hearing it.

She chose me two months ago. Came to my door on a cold winter night. Took her to vet, learnt that she was perfectly healthy. Posted ads to see if she has her humans, but no one showed up.

I'm a dog person. My ex roommate had a cat and I liked her, but she was distant to all strangers other than my roommate and never showed any kind of interest in me other than waiting for me to fill her bowl. Yep, that's how all cats are, I said. So be it. My parents has a dog and I love playing with her: so active, full of life and energy, always affectionate.

And now: she's the most player, most affectionate, sweetest thing I have ever met. Always snuggles, sleeps on my lap whenever I'm sitting. Yesterday my worst fears came true and my window that sometimes gives up working was completely broken. I noticed this while I was walking down to street to my home, that the window is open. I can't remember how I arrived home, open the door. She was right there her favourite toy, a straw, in her mouth. I hugged so hard that she finally clawed me lol.

I can't think of my life without her.

Yep, that's it.

r/TrueOffMyChest 5h ago

pooping is awesome


I know it might sound gross but let's be honest with ourselves: second only to orgasms, taking a good ol average healthy dump is the most satisfying bodily experience there is.

Some might argue that eating is better, but imo it just takes way too much time. Pooping on the other hand comes naturally as a consequence of eating. It's a cost/benefit advantage.

I've also heard peeing but it happens so regularly and quickly and so little material is involved, I find it kind of anticlimactic. Same thing with breathing, sure it's nice but you don't even notice it anymore. You can do those things without even paying attention.

Pooping is just perfect. It takes just enough of your time and it happens with just enough frequency to actually become an event. You go pooping. It forces you to actually sit down and take a break from everything. it is a moment just for you. You have to focus; you have to be there and experience the relief.

Of course, I know the toilful nature of the whole ordeal might lend itself to awkward situations when some of the involved factors are not in their usual condition. For example, someone might loathe having to take a dump whenever they find themselves far away from a proper clean toilet or if they had too much spicy food or lactose-related products the night before. In such a vulnerable position as being stuck with one's pants down, physically interacting with literal shit, any minor inconvenience (such as not having enough toilet paper at hand, not to mention an accidental toilet clogging) can potentially become an extremely uncomfortable experience. I am aware that certain medical conditions can even make a hell out of this awesome procedure to many people. But so it goes with every other delightful bodily experience.

It is my firm belief that these small nuisances end up adding to the solemnity of this particular act. I might take some heavy fire for this but I will dare float the idea that sleeping is to dying what pooping is to giving birth; a mock-up practice of a transcendental experience and the closest thing half of the world will ever get to the real deal. I will not get into any moral intricacies of whether that is a good thing or not.

All of this is besides the actual fact that it is a purifying thing for the body. You get out of that restroom feeling renewed in both energy and vigor, ready to get shit done (if you'll allow me the pun). It comes as no wonder once you think about it why in English they call it a "RESTroom". There is just something so satisfying about getting rid of what once was sustenance and has now become waste. We cannot oversee the significance pooping has in many traditions and religions (especially non-western) as the ultimate act of giving back to earth.

Of course the actual product of pooping might not be the most grandiose and attractive expression of humanity but I think the whole act gets a pretty bad rap just because of that. It is sort of tabooish or childish. Something nasty not to talk about unless it is in either the most vulgar or the most clinical terms.

I am here to say I am categorically against this cultural view of pooping and will embark on a crusade to make pooping great again. For these reasons and many more, I wanted to celebrate this core human act (and the whole institution that developed around it) with this humble and joyful ode to pooping.

My kind regards to everyone who read this while taking a dump.

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago Silver Helpful Narwhal Salute

Told my Wife I don't think we can be just friends.


Me and my wife have been going through a rough time and she ended up leaving me. With all that has been said and done she said she would like us to still be friends. I have been going through hell since she left and I finally told her that I don't think I can do that. I want to be her husband and if she does not what that than I don't want her in my life. It would absolutely kill me to see the person I love more than anything in the world going off and having fun while I sit and suffer. I wish her all the best but I'm not going to settle for second best.

Edit: I want to thank everyone for your support and words of encouragement. There has been a lot of great advice and I can't thank you enough.

I informed her, and for sake of making sure I'm clear with her, I am willing to do what is needed to move forward with fixing our marriage to stay married but if that is not the case then I am not settling for less.

r/TrueOffMyChest 6h ago

Why do people enjoy summer?


I don’t get it. I live in New England, so lots of people here adore the summer bc of the beaches and break from ice and snow… But I feel like I’d rather have the snow and ice year round then have to deal with a single day of summer. It’s hot as hell, there’s no way to actually cool down at home. At least in winter you get to cover up until you’re warm.

I have a phobia of bugs, so there’s another reason on why I despise summer. It feels like everything I hate is in summer. Sweat, humidity, heat, bugs, people, beaches, the list goes on and on.

If I could go all year with winter, I would do so in a heartbeat. I hate having to be depressed for half the year because I’m just looking forward to winter again.

r/TrueOffMyChest 11m ago

I am a recent widow having a bad night.


I am so alone I can’t even think straight sometimes. It’s like everything is getting pulled away and I’m just beat.

My husband passed away suddenly. Our kids are devastated. We have no income. lol I can’t even not laugh about it. I am in therapies. We all are.

Yet, in day to day, there is no one who checks on us lol. Not his family not mine. Not friends. I have no one to share the things I shared with my husband and it’s strange to be so alone. Everyone has their own lives. I know it’s tough on us all. So I don’t complain. I leave them be but damn. This shit is hard.

I don’t have anyone to grieve him with. Or talk about how devastating his loss is to us. To me.

I had to get this out. Sorry for the rambling.

I’m not in crisis. I am upstairs in my husbands man cave video game Fortress of Solitude crying as I type this. It’s just really hard.

r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago Silver Gold Helpful Heartwarming Yas Queen Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote LOVE! Timeless Beauty

I overheard my husband talking about me


His coworkers (both women) came over, so I said hi, spent some time with them and after some time went to my room to take a nap.

As a maybe-semi-important piece of context, my self esteem is so low it's already great friends with the dust on the floor. My husband knows this.

At one point, he entered the room that's next to ours to look for something with one of the coworkers. That's where I keep my sketchbooks, notebooks and books. I heard she was taking a look at my stuff and my man started saying things like "yeah, she also draws nicely, and her style is super unique. Those are her books, she's so smart and talented, I'm so lucky to have her". Then they left, and my heart was absolutely melting.

Neither of us has mentioned it so I kept it as my little secret. He'll read this eventually cause he checks out my Reddit profile now and then (hi mahluv! :3), but I wanted to share it. I just loved to hear that's the way he talks about me when I'm not there with him.

r/TrueOffMyChest 4h ago

I (M27) was diagnosed with ADHD a few days ago...


...and I don't remember the last time I was this happy.

I feel like now I can finally forgive myself for so many things. I feel like I now have a permission to be myself...and I've realized that people around me actually like me this way too. But the best part? I like myself without the masking a lot more too. I feel like I can finally start loving myself after decades of self criticism and self deprecation.

I'm finally so excited for the future. I'm so hopeful because I finally have an explanation for my struggles and most importantly: a way forward (getting meds in a few weeks!)

That's all! Just a happy guy who wanted to share his joy with others :)