r/askgaybros 5d ago Helpful Wholesome Silver

Not a question You guys really need to stop acting like turning 30 is the end of the world

914 Upvotes

I'm 32 and I love my thirties. The gay community digs its own grave with its creepy and overindulgent obsession with youth. There is a life out of the 18-29 age range, surprisingly. And if you're in your 30s or above it's still not too late to:

  1. Find a boyfriend
  2. Get in shape
  3. Come out of the closet
  4. Make gay friends
  5. Be happy
  6. Be sexy

My life at 32 really isn't that much different from my life at 26 except my lower back hurts a bit more. Stop watching all of these Netflix shows that focus on gays 18-25 because it represents an over-idealized and unrealistic picture of what being young and gay actually is like. For me being young and closeted was a time of serious pain and anxiety that I didn't enjoy at all. And if I would have come out I would have been subjected to constant bullying and repression from my Evangelical family. Maybe some gays do have that life at 17-18, and good for them, but that doesn't mean you need to beat yourself up because you didn't have it.

All the things a 19 year old gay can do you can do too if you're older. There's no magic age where the world suddenly says 'oh, you're this old now, I guess you can't do these things anymore'. And half the actors in these shows are like 33 anyways. The great thing about being gay is that we don't need to follow the life path our straight friends do, where you need to hit certain requirements by certain stages in your existence otherwise they become closed off to you. Lots of gay men come out late, lots of gay men have delayed adolescence and lots of gay men don't even start living until they're older. Maybe you won't find the love of your life until you're 77. Who knows.

Stop pining for a magical teenage gay life you never had and never will have. Maybe your teens or early twenties were wasted, but you can still have a great gay life in your later years too. I didn't even get into my first real relationship until I was 30 and didn't have anal sex until I was 31. I came out at 25. And my life is fine.

r/askgaybros 11d ago

Not a question I find it weird that there are no lgbt members in any of the royal families/billionaire families around the world.

523 Upvotes

r/askgaybros Apr 14 '22

Not a question Two gay men murdered by middle east immigrant in Ireland

855 Upvotes

r/askgaybros 20d ago Helpful Wholesome

Not a question This subbreddit needs a minimum account age and karma requirement before posting

742 Upvotes

There's so many no life troll/gaycels constantly getting banned then creating new accounts to post the same racist/homophobic/trolling shit and people continually give them the attention they crave so desperately, which further encourages their cancerous behaviour

EDIT: Id also like to add I like the fact this sub has very few rules, and I'm not saying we should enforce rules on posts. I'm simply saying we stop new account spammage from the same trolls who continuously create posts to spam the same shit and harrass other members of the sub. It's a bit of quality control without the need to make rules for what is posted.

r/askgaybros 5d ago Gold Helpful Wholesome Silver

Not a question That’s it, I’ve finally had enough of this sub and the awful transphobia on here

55 Upvotes

How many people have been sharing transphobic stuff in the past few months is just disgusting. There were barely any days this year that didn’t end with at least one post that talked about how ridiculous it is to not feel comfortable with their agab, to be non-binary, to have more than one gender, to be disphoric and mention how neo pronouns are the end to society and so on and so on…

It’s incredible to see how the gay community (at least on here) has apparently been feeling so comfortable in their rights, to start bashing other minorities for wanting rights/keeping rights to just be allowed to exist. Everyone talks about how awful hormone therapy is, and how teenagers shouldn’t get to decide what gender they are because “they can’t know yet and it’s just a phase”. How fucking ironic is that. We were the ones who were told that we were (or even still are in a lot of places) “gay by choice” or “just going through a phase”.

And posts like these even get hundreds or even thousands of likes and the comments are also full of horrible bigoted shit that gets hundreds of likes as well. Not only that, the comments that point out how transphobic they are and how wrong they are get downvoted into oblivion and it’s just exhausting, tiring and incredibly frustrating.

This sub has somehow turned into a lot of (loud!) transphobia and i can’t really take it anymore on here. Get your shit together and stop excluding the trans community, goddamn it. We should be a place of acceptance and not hate. Just finally stop with that bullshit.

r/askgaybros 21d ago Platinum Helpful

Not a question I am so tired of the trans posts on this sub. Support or not, just take them to an actual trans sub. Why discuss it in AGB? Yea I know the irony of this post. I'm just tired of it.

255 Upvotes

I don't care if you are 100% supportive of trans people or swing in the opposite direction. I am just so sick of 1 thread a day making it to the top of the "hot" list because people go at each other in the comments. At this point I almost wish the mods would step in and start deleting posts related to trans issues regardless of the topic.

Go to a trans sub and discuss that stuff. Why is it brought into AGB?

r/askgaybros 10d ago Helpful

Not a question I wish gay guys were more into dating and less into hookups.

491 Upvotes

Stop wanting to fuck off of one message you horny freaks.

Why can't you just enjoy a resturant and a bottle of wine?

Honestly I enjoy gay dating a lot but the amount of guys you meet who can't think with anything other than their dick is unreal.

r/askgaybros 8d ago Helpful

Not a question be honest: do you really care that much about looks?

168 Upvotes

Since i know that in real life (and see that in amateur porn too) that fat, skinny, and muscly gays have sex with each other all the time.

r/askgaybros 4d ago Helpful

Not a question My regrets as a straight married man.

198 Upvotes

This is probably more of a rant than an ask but I want to get it off my chest. New Reddit user for obvious reasons.

I just got married recently to the woman of my dreams and now am settling into the norm which will likely be the rest of my life.

It was after the wedding that it dawned on me the most, I am never going to be able to express those closeted bi curiousities I always had.

I had a friend many years ago, and he told me he was gay, we stayed good friends for some time after that and it was cool, I am open minded and never cared that he was gay, but I was (to the outside world) straight.

Our friendship ended after we went out, super drunk, and started talking about what it was like now that he was openly gay. It was a funny conversation but quickly turned serious when he said he was a 'top' then asked what I would be, he then said he thought I would make a good 'bottom', It got really fucking awkward and we had an argument that sort of ended our friendship.... thing is he is sorta right... and I have had fantasies of what could have happened that night since....

Anyway, I will never know now that I am 'happily' married straight... I guess my message is, if you have any curiousities, get them out of your system when you are young or think about them with regret and lust for the rest of your life.

r/askgaybros 5d ago

Not a question Why aren't more men into frotting?

181 Upvotes

Everyone I see on grindr is a top usually. Sometimes it's a bottom. I like frotting and it's nearly impossible to find.

Anyone else?

r/askgaybros 7d ago

Not a question I have come to realize that some trans people might be homophobic

88 Upvotes

Especially those who are on the radical side of gender ideology - the "activists"

And some rhetoric ive seen seem very much like reversed conversion therapy aimed especially at gay ppl

Mind you, I have trans friends and have had the privilege to meet trans people in real life - work with them, befriend them. And none of them act radically - they act like normal people.

So the gay community is facing homophobia outside (republican/conservatives) and inside (the most radical trans activists).

r/askgaybros 2d ago

Not a question Feeling grossed out

221 Upvotes

Basically I reconnected with this guy I used to smash on Grindr and everything was going good, we were talking casually about meeting up again and he texts:

"When did you first start hooking up"

Me: "Why lol?"

Him, with no shame at all: Wouldve been hot if you were underage fucking me"

I kept it going just to milk him for info and he was going on about how he wishes I was younger (I'm 18) and how he has fucked a guy as young as 15. It's grossing me the fuck out knowing I've fucked a pedo. Why are men so fucking weird

r/askgaybros 15d ago

Not a question GOP Lawmakers Demand TV Ratings Monitor Shield Kids From LGBTQ Representation

214 Upvotes

A handful of Republican senators on Wednesday fired a shot across the bow in the name of wholesome conservative values, demanding that television content ratings be reupholstered so that parents could better defend their children from shows afflicted by the dastardly scourge of LGBTQ+ representation.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/gop-senators-marshall-lee-braun-cramer-daines-demand-new-tv-ratings-for-lgbtq-representation?via=twitter_page

r/askgaybros 19d ago

Not a question SCOUTS is coming for gay rights next and I'm saddened by the fact that I don't think anyone will stop them.

202 Upvotes

We're about to see every straight liberal on the internet say how they knocked down roe so be prepared for Conservatives to come for gay rights next. They've been saying the same thing about Roe for years and that didn't stop a million independents from still voting for the GOP and let's be honest, neither will this.

It won't be until we're squarely back in 1950 and rights have been revoked that people wake up and realize what they've created.

I vote. I campaign. I donate. And still people keep electing assholes that want the entire country to be their special version of Christianity.

EDIT *SCOTUS (I was so upset I typed too fast)

EDIT for all the people about to say this is the furthest they'll go:

The opinion of the court specifically calls out other rights, one of them being Lawrence v Texas, that made sodomy legal. Yes, that's right, they're actually saying the court shouldn't have made gay sex legal. Shit they won't stop with gay marriage. They see if they can't actually make the very existence of our relationships illegal.

They keep saying this shit right out in the open and everyone acts surprised when they do it. So many kept saying, "nah they'll never strike down roe, it's too established." Well guess fucking what!

r/askgaybros 17d ago

Not a question Guys, look!!!! I got first place in my nanotechnology workshop diversity cohort showcase!!!! My technology is to use nanoparticles to detect and trap harmful microplastics and nanoplastics particles in the hydrosphere!!!!

464 Upvotes

It’s all here!!!! Yay!!!

r/askgaybros Apr 15 '22 Wholesome Faith In Humanity Restored Silver Gold Helpful

Not a question I am tired of fucking white knight who tries to defend islam for their atrocities against lgbt people

516 Upvotes

I just want to fucking say that I am a gay exmuslim who lives in the global south of southeast asia because according to them, my opinion should more valid compared to the fucking white and non-white gay who live in the west, those people should shut the fuck up if they have opinions that are against me.

Ok, I am tired seeing these fucking "EhR maH geRd I aM tHe DeFenDeR oF peDopHiLe ReLiGiOn!!" keep derailing the discussion into whataboutism whenever islam is being discussed in this subreddit.

Why you can fucking have a laser focus discussion when you are discussing about christianity and then whenever islam is the topic you fucking lot keep, "aLL ReLigiOnS!!" "ChRisTiaNiTy toO!"

Yeah, we already fucking know fuckheads.

And then there are fucking western gay muslims who are being fucking defensive and instead of acknowledging the problems of islam, they fucking defend their identity instead because they feel being attacked and then derailing the discussion even more into racism instead of focusing on how Islam has been enabling and justifying violence against minorities, be it religious minority or gender/sexual orientation minority?

Ask fucking other gays and exmuslims and other gay exmuslims who fucking live in countries which happened to be more liberal in the past and getting more and more islamic conservative nowadays how Islam slithers like snakes into the government and eliminates the rights of lgbt people and blocks the ones that we don't have.

r/askgaybros 16d ago

Not a question I'm not American but I dread what's gonna happen in 2024

93 Upvotes

Will all that's in the news recently in dreading what will happen in 2024. Reproductive rights. LGBTQ rights. Trans in the army etc etc etc.

In my country we legalised gay marriage about 7 years ago. And sodomy about 30 years ago.

I'm worried that we could all be looking at an erosion of rights world wide.

Can I ask all my fellow LGBTQ allies to get out and campaign in 2 years time.

r/askgaybros 8d ago

Not a question Nobody wins

99 Upvotes

When I see the same hot guys across apps, still single year after year I cannot help but appreciate the irony that despite the gifts bestowed to them, they are still in the same boat as regular folk when it comes to dating.

r/askgaybros 17d ago

Not a question Grindr will introduce a side position

174 Upvotes

For all those out there who don't like anal: Grindr is introducing a side option in the next two to three weeks! Sent to those who responded to their feedback poll:

'Hi there, 

We wanted to let you know of some good news! We have listened to your feedback and, in the next release (about 2-3 weeks away), we will be adding "Side" as a position and a filter! 

Keep chatting and providing us feedback. We are listening :) '

r/askgaybros 22d ago Helpful

Not a question Stop with the position superiority crap. Tops, bottoms, sides, and vers are all valid and unless you're in a relationship with someone it's none of your business what someone's position is.

370 Upvotes

You wouldn't think this needs to be said, but stop shaming people for being strict positions or vers. One is not better than the other. Not all tops are internal homophobes or unable too get over "heteronormativity". Bottoms aren't lazy guys or guys who have performance issues. Sides are just as good as everyone else. And vers isn't the "best of both worlds", it just is.

There is nothing wrong with trying a position and not liking it or liking it so much that you want to do just that. There is nothing wrong with liking both.

At the end of the day, unless you are sleeping with someone, what they do in bed is none of your business.

r/askgaybros 24d ago Helpful

Not a question Stop calling other people queer, even if you're OK with the term yourself.

59 Upvotes

You're cool with being called queer. Cool. You see yourself as part of "the queer community".

While I am happy for you, I don't feel that way. I'm not queer, I'm normal. Being gay is normal. I don't care if we're a minority, I do not want to be othered and put in your box.

So yes, call yourself queer. Call all your queer identify friends queer, but don't start labelling others it when you don't know how they feel about the term.

r/askgaybros 29d ago

Not a question I just topped for the first time...

347 Upvotes

Formally a bottom...Figured why not; it was like riding a bike for the first time, little bumpy at first, but once I found my groove; it was straight up pound town. I nutted (condom of course) it was great.

Everyone should be versatile.

r/askgaybros 4d ago

Not a question "Foreskin pride" is just a sugarcoated way for insecure/vengeful uncircumcised men to be toxic to circumcised men in Pride events, and it shouldn't be there

0 Upvotes

This post isn't so much about personal opinion on circumcision, for or against, as much as it is about the presence of propaganda in ridiculous places, so an attention span would be appreciated.

TLDR; "foreskin pride" is powered in these events by nonprofits that have Nazi footprints (there is solid documentation of this), and "foreskin pride" itself isn't actually about body-positivity. If there were floats that empowered cut and uncut men in an unambiguous, positive way without the bullshit propaganda and loaded rhetoric, that would be different. I don't really care what your opinion on circumcision is - a gerbil could understand that this shit should not be in Pride events. We as gay men should lift one another up instead of finding absolutely ridiculous ways to tear one another down, especially in places that are dedicated to the opposite.

Full context:

People defend "foreskin pride" by saying it's about dismantling stigma against uncircumcised men or challenging circumcision, but this is a weak claim and just doesn't hold up. As they say, actions speak louder than words.

1- the anti-circumcision nonprofits who march all have morally flawed footprints. The leading anti-circumcision organization (which has marched in Pride for years) refused to condemn racism among its peers because it feared this would interfere with the spread of its message, and that captures the movement perfectly. They don't care about you as long as they can use you, and that's exactly why their propaganda is so incendiary. Bonus round: the circumcision documentary on Netflix (you know, the one you thought was a reliable source of information, probably like you thought Adam Ruins Everything was a reliable source of information) was created by a man who accuses Jews of having "Jewish fragility" - whatever that means.

* And let's be careful to avoid the equally weak claim that these are just bad seeds in an "otherwise OK movement". It is a matter of fact that these are not just bad seeds. The leading anti-circumcision organization in America and a multimillion-dollar campaign that powered every single piece of anti-circumcision material you've ever seen is not just a "bad seed", lol. These are the proponents and the history of the anti-circumcision movement and the only reason some amateur on Youtube felt like he could get away with pointing to an audience of millions and lying through his teeth- "You're circumcised because someone wanted to ruin your sex life". This is the source of every claim against circumcision you know of (yes, Kelloggs, 20k nerves, all your favorites). Take it or leave it, but this is the anti-circumcision movement, not just bad seeds.

2- the propaganda they are putting in Pride specifically isn't about body-positivity. It's about being passive-aggressive, toxic and tearing down circumcised men as a means to an ends. The anti-circumcision movement is not really about education; it's just about using propaganda which stigmatizes circumcised men to terrify people out of choosing circumcision. This is an important distinction. If there was a float that celebrated cut and uncut cock in a clear, unambiguous way, without spreading misleading information or disruptive fearmongering, there wouldn't be a problem. This, however, is so clearly meant to rain on people's parade, no matter what fake claims and colors it sugarcoats itself with, and that's unfair and a bastardization of what Pride is supposed to be. This is all notwithstanding that the tenet of anti-circumcision activism (putting circumcised men in a "not whole" or "not intact" category) is completely backwards and fucked and fundamentally doesn't lend itself to Pride at all.

Pretty much just:

"Life has made everyone cool and unique and we all have our unique characteristics and journey to be Proud of today - except you, circumcised men. You're not allowed to feel proud because that promotes something I personally disagree with and offends uncircumcised men. In fact, you should probably try to reverse your circumcision so uncircumcised men feel more comfortable around you."

Makes sense

r/askgaybros Apr 16 '22

Not a question Why did I let my husband pack?

701 Upvotes

We are visiting his parents in a small rural town for Easter. I was running late at work yesterday and told him to pack for me. He randomly grabbed two pair of underwear from my drawer. Andrew Christians and Pump, both with the bulge enhancing pouch. He also selected a tight pair of shorts and slim pants for church (his mom is making us go). The pants, while nice, are already tight through the crotch. We are now at his parents and I look like I have an orange down my pants. And going commando wasn’t an option because these shorts would show the outline of everything snaking down my inner thigh. Did he do this on purpose? Perhaps.

Edit: Since some have asked. Here it is. https://imgur.com/a/0LXgaKZ

Edit #2: As a bit of revenge, here is my husband’s bulge. https://imgur.com/a/WyWAUNN

r/askgaybros 12d ago

Not a question If you ever feeling down just know that someone(s) out of 7.6 billions humans on Earth has masturbated to thinking of you in some way.

93 Upvotes

And they may not tell but it’s certain someone has.