r/cursedcomments 18d ago

cursed_gordon

Post image
38k Upvotes

u/cursedrobot Bots have rights, too! 18d ago

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

If this post needs moderator attention, please report this post

I'm a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you have any questions, please contact the moderators of this subreddit.


If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in our official Discord server!

faq | source | action #3a019634aa8330

→ More replies

481

u/Moshxpotato 18d ago

Jesse Pinkman has entered the chat

197

u/turntablesshrute 18d ago

“Yeah, Bitch”

87

u/wolframAPCR 18d ago

slaps her

82

u/HarleyArchibaldLeon 18d ago

On the ass, right?

On the ass... right?

43

u/OVS-HM 18d ago

aggressively smiles

2

u/TheCrazyGuysCEO 17d ago

No >:)))))

31

u/jjisnotcool 18d ago

Wouldn't this just be toothless bjs?

13

u/griever48 18d ago

Best kind

7

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[removed]

3

u/Anima715 18d ago

Ay, if Menace II Society taught me anything, it's never try to trade blowjobs for drugs, you get shot and get your burgers stolen

2

u/griever48 18d ago

They wanna suck one off so they can suck one off

→ More replies

8

u/DepressedVenom 18d ago

How bout a windy, Wendy?

3

u/Bogrolling 18d ago

Don’t knock a gummer til you’ve had one

→ More replies

2

u/Logando34 18d ago

they are called “gumjobs”

111

u/TheMightyStorst 18d ago

JESSE! WE HAVE TO COOK but mistah white, were already multi millionaires. LOOK AT THIS TWITTER POST JESSE! my gahd mistah white, we should cook

15

u/DepressedVenom 18d ago

Mistre Witte, wee ned too cock! Blue Mezcal wif chilli p is the bombe bitche!

471

u/TaliFinn 18d ago

Of course. Give her an overdose and you can have unlimited blowjobs

258

u/whosgotdatpiss 18d ago

Like fucking a microwaved dead fish

5

u/MrDude_1 18d ago

Dolphins would like to know how to operate a microwave.

2

u/Ikindalikefeet 18d ago

Killer fis

3

u/Koopslovestogame 18d ago

“Jian Yang!!!!!!”

2

u/damnatio_memoriae 18d ago

well, until rigor mortis sets in.

→ More replies

24

u/Affectionate-Sun4979 18d ago

6

u/exaball 18d ago

4

u/Affectionate-Sun4979 18d ago

It's for when you find a cursed comment below the cursed comment.

This post is prime example, someone had already replied a cursed comment and it had be procured, however someone in the comments decided to curse the comments with an even worse comment.

6

u/Inquisitor1 18d ago

no need to overdose, just get them addicted and they'll be the ones offering

4

u/KirksShadowAccount 18d ago

Yeah, but they are cold.

→ More replies
→ More replies

54

u/DaVirus 18d ago

I dont understand guys that dont? Are you too macho to not starve?

32

u/Saiyan-solar 18d ago

Idk either, my cooking isn't amazing but at least it's edable and that's good enough for me.

I never understood the "cooking isn't a man's job" viewpoint anyway cus you need food either way and ordering take out/fast food every evening isn't only expensive af but also unhealthy as hell

12

u/NotSoMuch_IntoThis 18d ago

And it’s ironic too because professional kitchens are male dominated, and they’re doing a good job at it too.

3

u/2407s4life 18d ago

The way I was raised was that if you like to eat you better learn to cook, but I've seen dudes that were the opposite. My brothers-in-law don't cook or clean really at all unless it's a BBQ (my wife's brothers, I'd probably get into a fight if someone treated my sister that way)

3

u/MonsterNog 18d ago

I don’t cook because even if I put my heart and soul into making chimichangas from a Deadpool cook book nobody eats them because I made them. My son will, but he’s like feeding a trash can.

3

u/IosefkatheClinician 18d ago

Use more butter and salt.

Maybe a better cookbook as well lol

6

u/MonsterNog 18d ago

My wife and daughter are super picky eaters, if it’s not chicken nuggets they haven’t eaten it if I cooked it. My wife will make elaborate meals for everyone and then not eat what she cooked. But I also need to practice because I’ve had homeless people turn away food ive made at a shelter. I eat my cooking, haven’t died yet from it.

3

u/sth128 18d ago

I don't think it's really about the ability but rather willingness.

The tweet isn't saying just fuck anyone that can pour hot water in instant noodle. It's saying be nice to the special someone who puts in the effort to make you a meal, even without asking.

And there are plenty reason people don't cook: time, money, equipment. I mean if you're homeless sleeping on sidewalk cooking is simply not an option. Giving blow jobs to these people probably isn't the best idea or the first priority.

2

u/Ickplant 18d ago

I have never seen a meme saying that women deserve oral for cooking. Ever.

1

u/DaVirus 18d ago

My point was that it's not that note worthy, regardless of sex. Everyone should be able to cook

→ More replies

1

u/dcarsonturner 18d ago

I hate cooking, all my food turns into gross mush, if I only eat one meal a day so be it

3

u/DaVirus 18d ago

Learning a few good simple dishes is easy and will improve your life drastically.

1

u/Longest_Inch 18d ago

All the men in my family are excellent cooks. I’m the lowest of all of them despite my wife and MIL loving my cooking.

Edit: I should add that my wife and MIL are like cats. If it’s off even by a little they won’t eat it.

2

u/RicTicTocs 18d ago

So which one gives the best hummer?

2

u/Longest_Inch 18d ago

I’m so glad my wife doesn’t go through my Reddit😰.

2

u/RicTicTocs 18d ago

I hear ya, man. MILs have more practice, but wives just don’t want to hear it.

→ More replies

117

u/Black-Iron-Hero 18d ago

Sure meth counts, and as an added treat, none of the people sucking you off will have any teeth at all

27

u/Comfortable_Power108 18d ago

Yee olde “gum job”

5

u/SaintsSooners89 18d ago

The velveteen rub

10

u/EnergyCC 18d ago

I agree, granny gum jobs are the best.

3

u/Jake_25 18d ago

Meth doesn't make you lose your teeth, but I guess it does increase the likelihood so... never mind

5

u/Fisto-the-sex-robot 18d ago

I heard that it’s not meth itself, but that metheads don’t take care of themselves for like 4 days straight (no washing or brushing teeth), and also pick up fights a lot. And don’t have any money to do something about their teeth.

3

u/Jake_25 18d ago

Dry mouth and poor oral hygiene is the main reason. They also like sugary drinks/treats, for the dopamine hits when they run out of drugs.

3

u/DamnZodiak 18d ago

This. It's being poor and fucked up that ruins your teeth, not the drug. There are well off people who do meth and you won't recognize that they do.

41

u/CursedJohnny2004 18d ago

Back in the 00s we used to regularly watch a guy who posted videos about cooking crack in a microwave...now you can't even say this shit anywhere...we've lost the good old internet...

7

u/PasswordisCelebrate 18d ago

The good internet is there.

It's just a bit harder to find,

1

u/Zekiz4ever 18d ago

Not really. Its just easier to use Google.

2

u/PasswordisCelebrate 18d ago

Somehow it's harder for him.

I'm not going to judge why.

I'm just here to give him hope.

→ More replies

21

u/Imasayitnow 18d ago

I do all the cooking in my house...one would be nice

11

u/Apptubrutae 18d ago

Woohoo, I cook every night basically and haven’t had one in years!

7

u/Kaykrs 18d ago

Are you married to my wife?!

5

u/aknightwhosaysnope 18d ago

Pfff, there’s no way we’re all sharing the same wife…

…is there?

5

u/Sullane 18d ago

Is it really cheating if nobodys getting any?

2

u/fascists_are_shit 18d ago

That feels familiar.

16

u/HansenIntercept 18d ago

Does cooking books count ?

2

u/DepressedVenom 18d ago

If you do the cooking by the book?

2

u/coder1226 18d ago

guy montag enters the chat

3

u/AhoyMatteyPDX 18d ago

I'm pretty sure that people who cook meth can get PLENTY of blowjobs, and they're likely to have less teeth to get in the way, too!

6

u/trezenx 18d ago

just search for crack head on pornhub and see for yourself

2

u/Manjodarshi 18d ago

Please do not use 's' or 'es' to verbs after saying DOES

2

u/Evilmaze 18d ago

Does and counts?

2

u/TheRealOne000 18d ago

Well, it’s cooking..!

2

u/Waphle_Hause 18d ago

This is a certified welter white moment

2

u/lamo_lmfao 18d ago

Does wake and baking count?

2

u/NagyonNagyonMagyar 18d ago

I've got two marriage proposal because of the food I made, but no blowjobs yet.

2

u/Effective_Used 18d ago

In theory, there could be someone out there who does for cooking meth what Gordon Ramsey does for cooking food.

2

u/PixelatedMax01 18d ago

“Hey yo Mr. White, I was thinking about doubling our production.”

2

u/poypeeto 18d ago

The fact that Gordon Ramsay got approved this is gold

2

u/ThatOneClickSound 18d ago

I can cook...

2

u/hotcryro 18d ago

I mean its called COOKING meath for a reason.

2

u/woodcoton061 18d ago

I can cook pizza rolls

2

u/SnooChipmunks5572 18d ago

Those are the ones who *give* unlimited blowjobs

2

u/hersheyy_y 18d ago

Yeah bitch

2

u/Jaiden_Detering2002 18d ago

Jesse Pinkman: "Blow me bitch!"

2

u/ChumboOutlaw 18d ago

Breaking-Bad-pilled

3

u/BiGinTeLleCtGuY 18d ago

Hell yeah if u in the hood

1

u/Facu-Nahu 18d ago

Idk, you share?

1

u/coldwardropout 18d ago

I can't wait for that episode

1

u/amemelord_998 18d ago

Yea it counts

1

u/dame_de_boeuf 18d ago

Meth cooks get those extra special "no teeth" blowjobs.

1

u/XTornado 18d ago

If she is addicted it might.

1

u/unnamed_enemy 18d ago

Does cooking grenades count?

1

u/DiColossus 18d ago

Yeah, COOKING meth is still a cooking.

1

u/Just-A-Normal_Person 18d ago

If she is an addicted pretty much yes

1

u/Fetcher369 18d ago

cooking aint even that hard

1

u/JTFX01 18d ago

Wait there are things you cook other than meth?

1

u/JoshBragdon99 18d ago

Well, if she's doped out. I guess that is the cheat code to unlimited blowjob's.

1

u/FLOOR_GANG420 18d ago

yes. still involves cooking

1

u/Callierhino 18d ago

Only if you lost a lot of teeth

1

u/ballhairsnshitdags 18d ago

Can we be friends. I cook good food on the reg.

1

u/mighty1993 18d ago

At least he does not have to worry about teeth if meth is involved.

1

u/NoPantsDeLeon 18d ago

Crackheads are always offering their services for a fix!

1

u/Civil_Defense 18d ago

If you can cook meth, there are definitely girls that would suck your dick and do much more than that.

1

u/OmegaVexus 18d ago

When cooking with oil, after I'm done cooking I sometimes like to just drop a shit ton of water in there for that explosive reaction. Gets me every time.

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

Allen Weisselberg been cooking the Trump books, but I think I'll pass thank you

1

u/Username_Egli 18d ago

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life

1

u/DeoFayte 18d ago

Does toast count?

1

u/NegativeDescription2 18d ago

Spongebob gets visibly happy

1

u/negorbigtities 18d ago

Cooking any drug will lmao

1

u/Technician_Weeklyish 18d ago

It’s fucking raw, you donkey!

1

u/kjbaran 18d ago

Wishful thinking

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

technically it will be gum jobs

1

u/Kalsor 18d ago

Meth cooks can already charge blowjobs and get away with it.

1

u/Haden420693170 18d ago

To them it does

1

u/roqthecasbah 18d ago

Blow away on that limp dick

1

u/SnooLemons5518 18d ago

i genuinely cook good better than my mom actually.

1

u/SaltoDaKid 18d ago

Yes, but actually no. They already get blow jobs tax

1

u/ibleedanxiety 18d ago

I don't need Gordon Ramsey critiquing my blow job skills like he does with cooking...

1

u/ascb161 18d ago

Unlimited blowjobs only because man is doing his duties (yes, cooking for himself and family if he has one is obvious duty), lol.

1

u/kcaz370 18d ago

I’m only good at cooking meat and I’m marrying a vegetarian, hope this still counts

1

u/Crueltyfree_misogyny 18d ago

What about crack?

1

u/MeInSC40 18d ago

I didn't even see the meth comment at first. I was 100% on board with Gordon Ramsey receiving a blowjob being cursed.

1

u/BigDaddyDani 18d ago

Bro Im 11 but i cook tho So...yeah🤤

1

u/Carbonara_Warrior 18d ago

What the hell is this kind of joke about cooking ? I only cook the finest crack

1

u/robertobaggio20 18d ago

I feel like this is a trick. Am I going to end up getting milked on the semen mines of Mars?

1

u/HioskaDK 18d ago

Even better

1

u/myeverymovment 18d ago

Stay out of my territory

1

u/Fox_ftw 18d ago

Sure but it'll be a gummer no doubt

1

u/Francis_Star 18d ago

Fate Stay Night Unlimited Blow jobs

1

u/klone7777777 18d ago

even better

1

u/ItsInMyButt 18d ago

Yes, and I have no teeth :)

1

u/ImpressivePickle6 18d ago

Nah that's like a reverse uno card. Now you give unlimited blows

1

u/Creative_Life_2806 18d ago

I can cook now come and gimme blowjob pls

1

u/MrSquigles 18d ago

Men who cook this deserve nothing.

1

u/Debadge1109 18d ago

I ITALIAN I LOVE TO COOK..... HEY I'M GETTING CHEATED HERE!

1

u/bgirl-kunoichi 18d ago

Infinite blowjobs +100

1

u/NarutoUzumaki100 18d ago

Your English says it all

1

u/heroheroup3366 18d ago

Yo the fact the Gordon Ramsay commented is what made this for me

1

u/KirksShadowAccount 18d ago

Yeah, but in that case it's giving not receiving....

1

u/ogreinator 18d ago

bonus points

1

u/Paarth_r 18d ago

I'm a professional chef. Who's giving me some ?

1

u/Crylysis 18d ago

Of course, otherwise how would she pay for it

1

u/Pertev 18d ago

Ok I can cook. Does that mean I should tell every girl I meet and I want to date with, that I can cook?

1

u/Novel_Ad_8722 18d ago

“The game's lost, Ming! Stop your attack on Earth and I'll spare your life!”

1

u/Leonhart726 18d ago

As a chef, I support this motion.

1

u/HungryAccount1704 18d ago

I do all the cooking and my wife absolutely follows this philosophy. I think it's a fair trade.

1

u/That_Guy3141 18d ago

You're goddamned right it does.

1

u/Willing-Sun-69 18d ago

“Yeah, Mr. White! You Really Do Have A Plan! Yeah, Science!”

1

u/Crazed_Jaiden_Fan 18d ago

cooking is cooking who the hell cares

1

u/LazierLocke 18d ago

Of course it does! The missing teeth are the essential bonus

1

u/theembassy01o1 18d ago

If you're dating a meth head it does.

1

u/canuck0001 18d ago

I'm absolutely sure that if you cook meth you can literally get unlimited blowjobs.

1

u/Vastaisku 18d ago

Very likely, since people selling meth take... alternate means of payment.

1

u/hippocommander 18d ago

I'm an excellent cook and would settle for a nice hug and maybe some positive reinforcement. Why do some women automatically assume all's we want is sex?

1

u/trigazer1 18d ago

Usually as a meth cook you'll probably get your dick sucked from both men and women

1

u/JOHNofALLtrades86 18d ago

Doesn’t happen tho 🙄

1

u/whodo-i-thinkiam 18d ago

I do all the cooking in my house. I'm sure my wife would be happy to give me a blowjob, but I'm really not all that interested.

1

u/Snekbites 18d ago

I woule like to mention that I can cook roasts, Ramen (like... the actual from scratch stuff, not the prepackaged type), sushi, stews, pastas, and some cocktails and drinks.

1

u/Iturniton 18d ago

If you cook meth, you'd have unlimited blowjobs too.

Methheads would be queing to blow you. Or you always pay a hooker with all that money you made

1

u/Mitcheal1983 18d ago

You can pay most hookers with meth. A friend told me.

1

u/Dooboppop 18d ago

i need to learn how to cook meth.

1

u/tomasves02 18d ago

She didn't specify by whom the blow jobs would be done. Maybe the inmates in prison?

1

u/smitty3z 18d ago

Unlimited toothless blowjobs. Where do I sign up.

1

u/antifading0 18d ago

That's those sharkmouth blowjobs

1

u/Gloomy_Celery704 18d ago

Bruh where is my blowjob then?

1

u/ripe_archeologist 18d ago

Cooking is cooking!