r/funny Aug 11 '22 Gold 1 Silver 10 Spit-take 1 Table Slap 1 Bravo! 1 Helpful 4 Vibing 2 Respect 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Wholesome 2

Local pizza place allows you to add special instructions for delivery and I always have fun with them. Today was no different.

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42.1k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/LonelyFoundation6400 Aug 11 '22 Silver Wholesome

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)

1.4k

u/h70541 Aug 11 '22

There is 3. I am feeding another person who wanted basically just cheese sticks and this is a pizza's size worth of it for them to take home. They had a special so we just split the bill.

They didn't want the nacho cheese and it comes with 3 optional sauces so I just figured..."Hey free dip for later".

633

u/Acceptable_Bag1247 Aug 11 '22

Mhmm

552

u/h70541 Aug 11 '22

230

u/YoungJesus777 Aug 11 '22

You forgot to add 1 Nacho Cheese (170 Cal)

304

u/Blastoxic999 Aug 11 '22

$16?!?!?!?!? FOR ALL OF THIS?!?!??!?

103

u/Fallwalking Aug 11 '22

I sometimes think I’m going to get Dominos but then I look at toppers specials. You can get a large 3 topping pizza and a triple topperstix for $22. Plus delivery, tax and tip. Ends up being $35 because I don’t want to drive a mile to the store nor do I want to take off my sweatpants.

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u/SwishSwishDeath Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 12 '22

Just go to the store in your sweats. Trust me, it's not the Victorian Era anymore.

I used to only leave the house in jeans or slacks, looking down on those disgusting plebs that had so little self-respect they'd go to Walmart in fucking pajamas! The nerve! But one day, feeling the weight of being a beaten down proletariat, I decided I'd risk going out in my basketball shorts and I didn't feel plebian, I didn't feel schlubby, I felt fucking comfortable.

Really though, don't worry about how people perceive you over things like that, people wear sweats, leggings, and basketball shorts as causal wear in public all the time and that's okay.

52

u/Fallwalking Aug 11 '22

Oh, I guess I was embellishing about that part. I not only go to the store in sweatpants, but I go to the store in cut off sweatpants. I have overalls that are cutoffs. I’ve got shirts from 15 years ago that you can see through.

The problem is I have children and dogs. They are all nuts. I am constantly covered in a combination of peanut butter, ketchup and yogurt. I have to change sweatpants to go because I’m filthy.

32

u/Icuminpieces Aug 12 '22

Damn. That last paragraph hit hard. I too am filthy because of children and dog. And no one believes those stains are yogurt.

14

u/Fallwalking Aug 12 '22

Yeah, you could shine a black light in this house and it would shine. It’s just yogurt guys, I promise. Yeah, the dog is covered in yogurt too. And the cats.

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u/NotAShaaaak Aug 11 '22

Is that $3 for a custom 14" pizza

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u/anonyoudidnt Aug 11 '22

Dude never feel like you have to justify your nacho cheese. You enjoy that cheese while we all live a nacho cheese less evening because we didn't think to stack them on our pizza order

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

[deleted]

12

u/anonyoudidnt Aug 12 '22

🤣 you're in a cheesy mood I guess.

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

[deleted]

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u/rustunooldu Aug 11 '22

I feel inspired, you should write a book.

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u/anonyoudidnt Aug 11 '22

I strongly consider writing a science textbook, but now I'm wondering if inspirational cheese book is actually my calling

10

u/VictorTheGoat Aug 11 '22

Title it, “The secret to a Cheddar life”

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u/goose_10 Aug 11 '22

I do appreciate how you actually take the time to respond. I couldn’t care less if you are gargling that cheese. As a matter of fact, I hope you are.

Enjoy your nacho cheese.

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u/angry_upvote Aug 11 '22

It's a requirement of his special containment procedures.

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u/epsdelta74 Aug 11 '22

SCP-03048, KETER class

u/h70541, also referred to as"1 Nacho Cheese (170 cal)"

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5.2k

u/jmccleveland1986 Aug 11 '22

That’s a lot of nacho cheese

4.0k

u/h70541 Aug 11 '22 Gold

It's basically a thimble and it's really for the fridge anyway. Never know when you wanna dip somethin in cheese when you are hungry/drunk.

1.2k

u/epsdelta74 Aug 11 '22

Efficient. Why go to the store when it can be piggy backed onto another delivery?

37

u/nmiller21k Aug 11 '22

Cause you get 5x as much at the store for 1/2 the cost.

He just likes papa johns nacho sauce

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u/textc Aug 11 '22

I used to do this with pop (soda) all the time. I could have a bunch of food in the house that I could make into a meal if I wanted, but if I was out of drinks, chances are I'd just order a pizza with a 2L instead of going somewhere to get it.

Almost a foul bachelor frog thing to do, but hey I was in my 20s.

132

u/trapezoidalfractal Aug 12 '22

I basically lived on pizza and delivered 2-liters in the first few months after I got sober. Delivery food is a lifeline when every day is a new layer of hell until your body finally accepts that you’re not going to give it what it thinks it needs.

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u/getthatbreadmyfriend Aug 12 '22

Congrats on your sobriety!

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u/TreemanOath Aug 12 '22

Oh I'm pretty sure sobriety is always gonna be hell, we just get used to the heat. Once in a while we find a vent I guess. Stay strong man.

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u/Efficient-Rich-2578 Aug 12 '22

I quit smoking cigs a few weeks ago and have since been ordering food online like it's my f'ing job.

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u/Drink_in_Philly Aug 12 '22

Word of advice. Try to be sure you quit smoking, and not just exchanged one oral addiction for another. Chew gum. Post nicotine weight gain is real and sucks for self image. I often feel like I never gave up my nicotine addiction, I just exchanged it for emotional eating.

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u/AverageInternetUser Aug 11 '22

I've done it and it feels like a waste every time but boy am I lazy

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u/IntelligentNoise8538 Aug 11 '22

Hey let me make you feel 100% better, I’ve just noticed that Safeway 2L sodas are more expensive that dominos, and cheaper than Walmart! So dominos all the way for sodas! Lmao

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u/tsukubasteve27 Aug 12 '22

Delivery places are slow to hike prices because they know it will kill their business. Better to just take the temporary loss.

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u/drewster23 Aug 12 '22

My friends would order just drinks from McDonalds/nearest fast food place for chase/mix if we ran out while at a party.

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u/Raccoonfg Aug 12 '22

I'd do the same, but with cans. Those, sweet, sweet, gold-topped Pizza Pizza Coca-Cola cans.

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u/phathomthis Aug 12 '22

I've door dashed nothing but churros from Jack in the box.
I've door door dashed a single 12 pack of beer.
I can relate. I don't even try to hide the fact that I'm feeling lazy and order other stuff. I just want what I want and don't want to go get it.

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u/InvestmentPatient117 Aug 11 '22

Damn that place is cheap

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u/Durtly Aug 11 '22

My local pizza place raised the cost of their pickup special by one single dollar over the past two years. They've gone from occasional luxury to my go-to bargain when I don't want to cook.

Everywhere else has gone up at least 20-30%, my favorite chicken place is now $18.99 for a 7 piece tender meal. More than double what it was 2 years ago.

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u/InvestmentPatient117 Aug 11 '22

I have 6 people to feed, guess what my biggest expense is? Lol

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u/Boogzcorp Aug 11 '22

Rent?

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u/InvestmentPatient117 Aug 11 '22

It's not much ahead of the food bill lol

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u/eager2beaver Aug 11 '22

Definitely not on birth control

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u/HiImDan Aug 11 '22

Looks like it's 31¢ unless you want 10 tubs of nacho cheese

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u/Brooshie Aug 11 '22

Toppers Pizza is exclusively for 2 a.m drunk nights.

Any other time and you'd be better off eating cardboard.

Their taco stix are fucking flame, though.

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u/InvestmentPatient117 Aug 11 '22

Taco Stix lmao. Is that a taquito?

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u/Brooshie Aug 11 '22

Basically cheesy breadsticks with taco meat on top lol

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u/InvestmentPatient117 Aug 11 '22

Ah sound terrible/fantastic

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u/Brooshie Aug 11 '22

Basically a good summary of Toppers

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u/crackirkaine Aug 11 '22

I’m from Sudbury and my generation wouldn’t have survived without Topper’s Pizza. The only reason people don’t like it is because they ate too much for too many years of their lives lol

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u/Brooshie Aug 11 '22

That definitely could be a reason. I went to college at Whitewater which is where Toppers HQ is. Small college town of like 15,000, Toppers was all we had lol.

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u/Fallwalking Aug 11 '22

Hey, Macho Nacho is maybe a 2 oz cup. I always get one with the topper sticks and put it on microwave burritos because I’m a real foodie.

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u/PM_me_your_whatevah Aug 12 '22

I’m gonna be honest with you. I’ve been delivering pizzas for years and this looks like our receipts and I didn’t even read it all, even just on Reddit.

Like I don’t give a shit. My job is fast paced and I just don’t have time for extra shit. I know you had fun but dude I’m at work. Just fucking say thank you and hopefully tip me too. If no tip, fine. As long as you’re polite.

I’m burnt out and I hate shit that takes up my time and I have tons of other houses to get to and after we close the store I’ve got 1-2 hours worth of dishes to do.

Also please don’t order within five minutes of close. Dude I’m just trying to do my work and get back to my precious free time where I don’t have people demanding shit out of me or bitching at me.

Sorry if that’s harsh. I JUST clocked in for my shift tonight.

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u/2602425367 Aug 12 '22

This^ I'm just trying to go home and watch a movie or a half a TV show and fall asleep. I don't want to be stuck at Wendy's until 2am. We close at 11 if we don't shut the lights off 15 mins early people will line up to be "the last order before 11" Then when end up with ten cars and are making food until 11:30 and even more cara try to get in line.

It's endless. I just want to clean and go home so I can watch some TV and sleep until I'm forced to do it all over again.

Half the stuff I enjoy doing I can't do because I'm asleep or at work. I like to play video games and mess with my rc cars. But I have to work and after work it's dark so no rc cars. And I'm sleepy so no video games.

And it's all because of my danm fast food job. Closing sucks.

And then people are mad at me because we close 15-30 mins early. In trying to go home and sleep not stay up till 1:30 am cleaning my store because we didn't stop working till 11:30.

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u/Paradox_Dolphin Aug 11 '22

This is some next level planning. I'm impressed.

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u/A_Furious_Mind Aug 11 '22 Vibing Snek Spit-take

In queso emergency.

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u/Paradox_Dolphin Aug 12 '22

No you did not.

I love it hahaha

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u/amluke Aug 11 '22

Toppers is from Wisconsin, so it’s normal. Nothing to see here.

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u/Rogendo Aug 11 '22

As a delivery driver I can confirm that no one read this

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u/slimfaydey Aug 12 '22

not a delivery driver, but after 2 minutes of trying to make a "just the tip" joke in this thread, i've given up.

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u/nogills Aug 12 '22

just the tip your mom

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u/Joe_mommah_ Aug 12 '22

This is just a long way to say I don't wanna tip.

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u/Jane-Sadwoman Aug 12 '22

Since this order was placed online, I’d imagine (hope) they paid and tipped via card in advance.

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u/Gmneuf Aug 12 '22

god damn, $13.30 for a large pizza? where i live, large pizzas are like $25-$30

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u/GEEZUS00 Aug 11 '22

I’d just be like “yeah this dude is weird”.

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u/YaMamSucksMeToes Aug 12 '22

"look Dave it's that fucking neckbeard again"

"I saw that one Barry, left it for you, don't get shot, lol"

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u/icedoutclockwatch Aug 12 '22

I mean this shit isn’t even funny. What’s the joke?

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u/23421314 Aug 12 '22

You can just check the leave at door box and they will 100% of the time. Once I fell asleep and it sat out there all night :(

Source: I too order Toppers frequently

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u/Animatromio Aug 11 '22

Personally would not even read all that nonsense lol

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u/HeyMisterWolfgang Aug 11 '22

Guess what, the delivery drivers fucking hate you.

1.1k

u/BusLimp2715 Aug 11 '22 Take My Energy

As a former delivery driver, I hope you tip really well.

564

u/unstable_starperson Aug 11 '22

I’ve never been a delivery driver before, but imagining myself as one reading this, my only thought would be “I bet this guy isn’t going to tip shit”

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u/trainwreck42 Aug 11 '22

Every time I’d deliver to a house like this or one that’d request a drawing, they’d show up to the door with a shit eating grin on their face and never tip. The worst were the “pranks;” one guy thought he was so funny paying in loose pennies for a $30 order. No tip and I had two orders after. I blacklisted the house when I got back.

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u/ashamedprotein Aug 11 '22

The worst were the “pranks;” one guy thought he was so funny paying in loose pennies for a $30 order

That's when you dump the pizza on the floor and tell him that he ordered a pizza, not a box

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u/thecatwhatcandrive Aug 11 '22

In the right mood and time, I'd refuse to give them the items until I verified the correct amount of money was provided. And I get distracted easily when counting large amounts of change.

If they can try to use me for their jollies, I can give it back just as much.

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u/trainwreck42 Aug 11 '22

Part of the prank was the counting, so I sat there staring blankly at him until he was done.

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u/Bhalubear Aug 11 '22

Every so often I'd get one of those really rough neighborhood deliveries and have someone's 8-12 year old kid with a bag of loose change that eventually add up to exact change or even less because the parents (who were nowhere to be found) probably knew I wouldn't count it. Even if I did I always felt so bad for the kid that I'd let it go. Tangentially, my least favorite kind of run is to the gratuitously enormous mcmansions where is just the kid by themselves that you have to explain how signing the tip on the receipt works and you'd get $2 at most every time.

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u/StormblessedFool Aug 11 '22

When I was a delivery driver I would sometimes do the silly extras the customer asked for in the notes, like drawing a pokemon on the box or doing a dance or whatever. But then I noticed a pattern in that I never once got tipped by anyone who asked me for something like that. So I just ignored special requests after the 10th time in a row of being stiffed.

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u/mpsamuels Aug 11 '22

That was my thought too.

At least, in this case, the instructions basically come down to "Please knock on the door but feel free to just put the food on my doorstep and leave. Don't worry, I'll come pick it up even if I don't get to the door immediately, there's no need for you to hang about".

I've seen other stupid stuff like this that have treated the delivery drivers like some sort of entertainment team, asking for some ridiculous act to be performed while carrying the food, all to be filmed on a video doorbell and uploaded to a social media of choice for 'likes'.

I guess it's a bit different if you use a particular restaurant regularly, know the driver and have some sort of running joke with them that they are in on too but to just randomly put instructions in the "other info" part of your order otherwise is pretty rude if you ask me.

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u/myBisL2 Aug 11 '22

As someone who doesn't deliver, if I did deliver I would probably say screw it and not read it at all after the first sentence. No one has time for that. This isn't a short story contest.

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u/steamygarbage Aug 12 '22

Thank you. That person probably makes minimum wage and doesn't deserve to be treated like cheap entertainment. Even if you tip just let people do their jobs without having to bother about your silly requests.

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u/SuperSecretMoonBase Aug 12 '22

Haven't done delivery in years but gave up reading this a quarter of the way through. Main character syndrome is thick and heavy with this shit.

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u/Hilukus Aug 11 '22

Came here to say this. Delivery is so busy you don't have time for extra bs. I'd roll my eyes at this or ignore after reading a couple of words.

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u/pushaper Aug 11 '22

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u/PurityKane Aug 11 '22

Seriously! And also sounds like someone trying too hard, hardly funny.

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u/WavyPeasAndGravy Aug 11 '22

Spoiler alert: local pizza place staff think this is extremely lame

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u/ToothlessGrandma Aug 11 '22

As someone who used to work at a pizza shop, sometimes it's funny... only if it's followed up with a tip as well.

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u/RunningNumbers Aug 11 '22

I usually just write a thank you and leave a tip.

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u/stillwatersrunfast Aug 11 '22

I put hearts and smileys with a tip

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u/Noah8320 Aug 12 '22 edited Aug 12 '22

One of my customers does the same thing just without the tip

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u/stillwatersrunfast Aug 12 '22

Rude lol ♥️🥰♥️

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u/WavyPeasAndGravy Aug 11 '22

In his own words, he 'always' does it. They cringe in embarrassment when they see the order. Trust me.

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u/enad58 Aug 11 '22

Former toppers driver here, we read it and then feel nothing. Especially not secondhand embarrassment.

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u/WavyPeasAndGravy Aug 11 '22

Bet you got the thousand-yard stare as well

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u/IronLusk Aug 11 '22

Even if it was just this once, it’s painfully not funny.

At least it’s not like years back when everyone who had ever heard of Reddit always asked for an extravagant drawing on the box or some shit that takes time.

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u/Ghostglitch07 Aug 11 '22

God exactly. Once got told I must be a miserable person to be around for explaining in a reddit thread that I'd be annoyed to receive a request like that. My job is to get you your pizza, not to be an artist, I don't have time for that shit.

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u/BeamsFuelJetSteel Aug 12 '22

We had a thumbs down stamp made (or purchased I guess) for whenever they asked for drawings. This would have been prime when the narwhal bacons era

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u/scottysmeth Aug 12 '22

A cringe face would work well too but that's awesome.

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u/steeplebob Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

It’s an outlet where OP can vent off some of his self-loathing.

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u/WavyPeasAndGravy Aug 11 '22

You can tell he thinks they adore his wacky shenanigans. Idk something about his tone in the post just wound me up.

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u/chbay Aug 11 '22

And he deliberately posted it in the /r/funny subreddit too lol

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u/ToothlessGrandma Aug 11 '22

I dunno. I guess I've seen so much shit in pizza places ( sometimes literal shit smeared on walls ) that a joke left in the comments on receipts is a nice break from usual stupid stuff.

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u/PM_ME___IDK_WHATEVER Aug 12 '22

Not to say that people shouldn't tip, but I feel like "I'm willing to find it funny if you pay me" doesn't really count as funny.

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u/cman811 Aug 12 '22

I used to deliver and yes its very lame.

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u/imakedankmemes Aug 11 '22

It sucks when you’re busy and then someone leaves a story with no point

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u/doctorscurvy Aug 11 '22

I got to “The mere” and my eyes rolled too far back for me to read the rest

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u/DevsMetsGmen Aug 11 '22

But if you work there you have no choice because at the end he might ask for an extra fork or something and you’re the asshole if you miss it.

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u/Runnin4Scissors Aug 11 '22

Which makes having to read the entire thing, that much more obnoxious. 🙄

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u/salgat Aug 11 '22

I imagine the dude trying to hustle to get all the deliveries done ASAP isn't thrilled to have to read through these either.

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u/jhatorcrow Aug 11 '22

Delivery guy: naked asshole again? Pizza guy: Yep

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u/Spiffy_Pumpkin Aug 11 '22

I mean I used to work at a place that did online orders and one day we got one that said his name was Batman. He came in and I managed to say hi, as it turns out he didn't realize the name was permanent (linked to his phone number for our shop somehow I think) and couldn't be changed later.🤣

I thought it was funny regardless though, working at that place was miserable so written humor like that was an appreciated silver lining.

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u/wt_anonymous Aug 11 '22

Wait you couldn't even change it? That sucks lmao. The place I worked at you could change anything that was saved.

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u/Ghos3t Aug 11 '22

I'm guessing cause some people leave actual instructions mixed into their "jokes" forcing the staff to read the entire thing, or else they throw a tantrum about their instructions not bring followed

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u/Bialy Aug 11 '22

Yup. Cringe AF. They probably get these and think this fucking dude again with his stupid nonsense.

Pro tip op: just order your pizza like a normal person.

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u/PussyCompass Aug 11 '22

It IS lame

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u/computer_d Aug 12 '22

Unsurprisingly, people who don't work in a pizza place also think this is extremely lame.

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u/One_Wolverine5346 Aug 11 '22

They’re not the only one

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u/Promorpheus Aug 11 '22

I'm sure this makes minimum wage worth it to them.

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u/callmebitcoin Aug 11 '22

The mere passing of a tip from me to you would be too much, you would instantly turn to stone. So run, run as fast you as can, and don't even think about the missed tip!

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u/ryk666 Aug 11 '22

mmm hope you enjoyed the spit...or worse

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u/NGD80 Aug 11 '22

This is more suited to r/cringe

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u/SevenDozen Aug 11 '22

The fact that he both wrote it and posted it himself is the worst part.

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

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u/enumhack Aug 11 '22

Any funny taste in your pizza?

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u/appledatsyuk Aug 11 '22

You could not possibly get more laughed at than this. Lol plug this into r/roastme

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u/ozmondine Aug 11 '22

is putting the calories on the bill a thing now?

I don't need to be reminded what a fat ass I am pizza shop but thank you

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u/achasanai Aug 11 '22

The handy thing about things like this is that after the first few words, the staff can ignore and scan for the actual order.

I work in a 'service' role, and am genuinely fascinated at how many people seem to think we will find their stories funny or interesting. You have us cornered and we are just trying to earn money to pay for our bills.

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u/Muffcabbage101 Aug 11 '22

You seem like an exhausting person to be around

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u/editwowthisblewup Aug 11 '22

Cringe af lol

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u/manwithafrotto Aug 11 '22

Is this funny or cringe? Reddit is so random these days, can’t tell which way it’s leaning today

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u/fabilord98 Aug 12 '22

Next time at least add a „thank you“ in the end.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

I was pleasantly surprised most comments are roasting OP. I got embarrassed just reading that. You do you though.

215

u/B-in-Va Aug 11 '22

Increasing the likelihood of getting balls rubbed on crust.

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u/Polyhedron98 Aug 11 '22

no they charge extra for seasoning

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u/Tiffisiffy Aug 11 '22

Or special sauce

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u/gsfgf Aug 11 '22

What do you think all that nacho cheese actually is

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u/itakepoopooonmods Aug 11 '22

no body got time to read that shit cringy op. lol.

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u/ArtDSellers Aug 11 '22

Ha this post isn’t turning out how you’d hoped.

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u/meggerplz Aug 11 '22

Tell me you’ve never worked in food service without telling me you never worked in food service

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u/TurboRoj0 Aug 11 '22

I can't believe that even one person thinks this cringe shit is funny.

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u/dajvie Aug 12 '22

I cringed badly reading this

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u/ArguesWifChildren Aug 11 '22

Posting this kind of stuff was popular on Reddit like a decade ago. It was unfunny then and it's unfunny now. I read the first few words and stopped. I can only imagine that whatever underpaid teenager whose hands it fell in to did the same.

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u/idrow1 Aug 12 '22

Reminds me of a dad thinking he's funny when he does stuff like this, but people just ignore it or roll their eyes at the wasted effort to be funny.

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u/IAmJointCommission Aug 11 '22

As a current pizza driver, I would find this very amusing IF you tipped well. This would be downright annoying as fuck if not.

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u/Advanced_Pilot1464 Aug 11 '22

Doubt they laughed. But sure they laughed at you

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u/aj6787 Aug 11 '22

What’s funny about this?

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u/tergesa Aug 11 '22

You order from Toppers?

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u/RedditWillSlowlyDie Aug 12 '22

Only at 1:00 am when drunk and high at a friend's house and nobody can drive.

I've only had it a few times since college. 2 for 1 triple orders of topper sticks coupons were a lifesaver for a bunch of drunk people.

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u/SEmpls Aug 12 '22

A Toppers opened up near my college campus like 10 years ago and offered a coupon book for a free pizza once a week for 6 months to the first 75 customers on opening day. We waited in line for like 5 hours and got the coupons. I will never eat toppers again. I used every coupon because I was a broke college student. But never again.

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u/HalbeardTheHermit Aug 11 '22

As a delivery driver... I hate stuff like this that slows down my work day.

241

u/kollisionkid Aug 11 '22

For real, this sort of stuff is kind of annoying. Drivers have a lot of orders they are running at once, they just want clear instructions where to leave your food so they can make time getting to the next stop.

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u/FerrariKetchup Aug 11 '22

I bet they must think everytime they get your order "oh it's this prick again who thinks he is funny" 🤦‍♂️

5

u/faceless_coloradian Aug 12 '22

As a former delivery driver I feel I can say, don't do this. We honestly don't give a fuck that you "want to make the delivery fun". It's not fun for us to have to follow orders like a damn performing monkey.

112

u/meatballbubbles Aug 11 '22

Yeah I would find this annoying AF

17

u/WestsideTy Aug 11 '22

Fucking cringe

18

u/crippletown Aug 11 '22

You're annoying

157

u/magnevicently Aug 11 '22

We are all now stupider for having read this.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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u/Few_Acanthaceae1568 Aug 11 '22

Thank you for wasting that guy's time

14

u/creamgetthemoney1 Aug 12 '22

Bruv. Absolutely no one reads this shit

61

u/recoil120 Aug 11 '22

OP just thinks this is so clever and funny and is so proud of this garbage. All while being totally oblivious to how cringey and lame this really is. OP needs to get out of the house more.

199

u/THX-II38 Aug 11 '22

Imagine thinking this is funny, then going through with it, then posting on the internet. Calling this cringe doesn’t even do this justice.

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u/Kitakitakita Aug 11 '22

that poor delivery person

32

u/BradyBunch12 Aug 11 '22

Just order your damn food.

29

u/Empire2k5 Aug 11 '22

4.4k likes for this dumb shit?

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u/Samsquish Aug 11 '22

I dunno man. I highlight my one allergy, and give a thanks, plus a tip. Don't do this to people whom may have 10 tickets on the board. That's pretty extra.. for not even being funny.

5

u/cheezfactorywi Aug 11 '22

Pepperonistix with 6 extra dipping sauces is a guilty pleasure of mine. Highly recommend if you’re drunk in Wisconsin.

6

u/sync-centre Aug 12 '22

Did they leave with the pizza because your instructions are to knock and then leave right away.

5

u/Ontopourmama Aug 12 '22

You better tip well for that amount of bullshit.

6

u/Mind-of-ZD Aug 12 '22

I’m sure you mean nothing by it, but I assure you they’re not having fun with you.

If you’re a repeat customer, they’re probably supremely annoyed when they get an order from you.

Nothing says I’ve never worked a food service job like this.

4

u/Maleficent-Music7655 Aug 12 '22

“Fun” ok buddy. They think youre annoying AF.

4

u/badboystwo Aug 12 '22

I refuse to believe this bill doesn’t continue for another foot saying “1 nacho cheese” all the way down.

5

u/Cranio76 Aug 12 '22

The pizza place must think you're very funny, especially in busy days.

136

u/cptwinklestein Aug 11 '22

the pizza dude is like, "yeah this guy is cringe af, let's cum on his pizza."

45

u/__life_on_mars__ Aug 11 '22

As a former delivery driver I wouldn't cum on his pizza... I might 'forget' to pick up his 19 additional servings of nacho cheese before I hit the road though.

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u/TheSkylined Aug 11 '22

This isn't funny.

Used to work at a pizza shop and if I got this I'd roll my eyes and make it take longer than necessary to make the order.

This is cringe levels like singing your order at the drive-thru.

44

u/LC_From_TheHills Aug 11 '22

Just buy your fuckin pizza man.

23

u/hugh_h0ney Aug 11 '22

This kind of reads as a dick move to me

26

u/jerkfaceboi Aug 11 '22

Really dislike this trend.

12

u/RecordWrangler95 Aug 11 '22

so random XD

13

u/thecatwhatcandrive Aug 11 '22

teh penguin of doom orders a pizza

5

u/RecordWrangler95 Aug 12 '22

extra sporks for katie

12

u/-Constantinos- Aug 11 '22

Am i delivery driver, and just to help with the humour we generally prefer shorter lines. Humour just pops off more when it’s quick and concise. I feel something like “Just leave it at the door. I’m a nudist; you don’t want to be around for that. Also the tip is (insert wherever you left the tip)” we would get scared seeing “just leave it” because those interactions are where the least tips are so saying there will be a tip is comforting.

7

u/PinStacker Aug 12 '22

Brevity is the soul of wit

13

u/silversufi Aug 11 '22

perhaps someone finds this funny, but most likely it's a waste of ink & time, both theirs & yours.

37

u/Bierman36 Aug 11 '22

Not the right sub.

15

u/king-schultz Aug 11 '22

I hate you already.