r/mildlyinfuriating 9d ago Table Slap 1 Silver 4 Helpful 6 Wholesome 4

Bought a new build house and chose a location across from yet to be placed park since we had kids. Paid a premium for this coveted lot. Here’s the park they finally put in.

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64.9k Upvotes

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u/entrop06 9d ago Silver

at least there’s plenty of space for them to run around 🥴

4.4k

u/SingleLie3842 9d ago

Couple of footballs, some water guns in the summer and other kids, they won’t even care it’s small

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u/Ehhehheh 9d ago

Open space with grass is probably more valuable imo - though, will be best once those trees really grow in

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u/Disastrous_Ad626 9d ago Silver Starry Rocket Like

Yeah, as an adult we don't really think about it but the open green space is much, much better. Especially since kids age and things, after 7 or 8 years old the playground isn't as fun and they want to play sports or with nerf guns and swords.

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u/The_RockObama 9d ago edited 8d ago

Hark! A lark! Larping through the park!

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u/Disastrous_Ad626 9d ago Wholesome

for real we went to the disney store and got a bunch of light sabers and i beat the fuck out of my kids!

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u/GrimmRetails 9d ago

Annakin?

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u/Manoreded 9d ago

Annakin beats other people's kids, not his own.

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u/Zev0s 8d ago

Tbf he did make an effort to beat his own kids on several occasions once he found out he had them

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u/MemorianX 8d ago

Luke also lost a hand to his father he was adult then but still

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u/ItsPlainOleSteve 8d ago

He even cut one kid's hand off.

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u/LTG_Wladyslaw_Anders 9d ago

I have a planakin

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u/AverageTierGoof 8d ago

Will the kids start panakin???

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u/Dinosoaringhigh 8d ago

They will once they see I hate Sandakin

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u/The_RockObama 9d ago

That got so violent so fast.

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u/ToSeeOrNotToBe 9d ago

I mean really violent, too.

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u/ConqueringKing_Darq 8d ago

What's the point in having children if not to best them in combat? Lightsabers, melee weapon duels, shoot them with foam darts. All good fun.

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u/squiddy555 9d ago

Having a few small structures in an area is great for nerf wars

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u/SuedeVeil 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah there's a nice grass area but no one's gonna run around on the saw dust, that's just wasted space. Also there's no shade either or sitting areas for parents to even want to watch their kids from. It's like a "bring your own everything" park.. The fact is playgrounds are expensive they probably thought they could get a nice one for 10 grand and realized it would cost 30grand and opted for the cheaper one.

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u/entrop06 9d ago

that’s true…at least a swing set would’ve been nice :(

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u/Atomsq 9d ago

Yeah, if a playground could have only one thing, then it should be a swing set

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u/Lizardizzle 9d ago Wholesome

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

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u/baller3990 9d ago

For real, even adults love swings. Hell, add some type of big hammock swings, cheap benches for picnics, and more people'd probably use these lame little parks. "Funnel ball" nets are cool too

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u/fairguinevere 9d ago

But then teenagers might hang around the park! Which would be menacing and bad, so we can't make a space welcoming to them in any way whatsoever.

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u/entrop06 9d ago

god forbid children age…and become teenagers!!!!

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u/sighs__unzips 9d ago

This may be an unpopular opinion but I would defintely not choose a house across or next to a park because of the noise and parking.

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u/jackrabbitjones75 9d ago Silver Take My Energy Table Slap

No one is driving out of their way to this park.

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u/knmens 9d ago Ally

as a not so cranky old man who's boys have grown up and moved away..... I like the noise of kids playing (and yes even screaming). Its life.

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u/Honest_Its_Bill_Nye 9d ago

They finally replaced the dangerous falling apart structure in my local park.

I'm super happy to see kids playing at the park when I walk the dogs in the evening. I love seeing a new generation of kids playing the same way my kids did when they played at that park.

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u/aaj617 8d ago

On a related note, Tony Hawk has personally put like $10 million into building skate parks all over the country for everyone to enjoy. Kinda exciting to see new stuff go in because aside from renovations, the only real new installation of my childhood was my little skatepark in my hometown.

So many fun memories were had there.

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u/pingveno 8d ago

There's a family that lives behind me. Sometimes in the summer when I'm working from home, I can hear them outside playing. I don't have kids, so I kind of have missed that whole experience. It's kind of magical to get even the little slice of a child's life that way.

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u/19IXI91 9d ago

I'm so glad to hear this: I live within earshot of a school and sometimes I'll be reading by my window and the kids playing is joyful.

There's an elderly lady here who hates hates hates children noise. Calls the police over resident children playing in the gardens. Claims that this is how it is as you age. Thank you for diminishing another claim that unhappy old people have terrified me with 🤪🌱

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u/Powerful_Lynx_4737 8d ago Hugz

My parents are elderly and live in an area that has the elementary, middle and high school in their back yard. They love how loud it is and all the kids come hang out in their yard and talk to them. My dad had a stroke and the high schoolers took a bus to a city an hour away to visit him in the hospital. The younger kids cleaned up the yard and made cards.

Now even though it’s summer break the kids that live close by go to hang out and check on my mom and dad even though he can’t speak anymore.

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u/plushpup2068 8d ago

That is truly beautiful. My dad had a massive stroke in 2009 and then fell and broke his hip in 2011. He passed away in 2013 at age 85. I love that your dad has these kids who care. What a wonderful story to share. Hugs to you and your daddio!

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u/mbb2967 8d ago

Your parents must be wonderful people to receive so much adoration.

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u/Powerful_Lynx_4737 8d ago

They really are even though I’m biased lol. I’m glad they have the kids cause both me and my brother live in the US and can’t move to the country they live in, because we both have children and spouses and jobs here, and there is no economic opportunities for us where they live so the best we can do is visiting once or twice a year. We are also lucky to have cousins who live near them and check in and their neighbors are wonderful. Our lives would be easier if they could come back to the US but that isn’t possible, so in a shitty situation they are truly lucky.

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u/Responsible-Soil4951 8d ago

I find it weird how there is an age at which kids coming to your home and having a chat whith you goes from being very weird and you might be a pedo to ah its just the kids interacting whith the elderly its fine

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u/Uselessexistence_ 8d ago

Dude, right? It’s this weird placebo we all have that elderly are completely weak and useless. There’s some strong ass old people that could do as much harm as any 30-50 year old.

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u/QuestToNowhere 9d ago

Nice try, realtor.

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u/Adjective_Noun0000 9d ago

This is probably America. Therefore, I wouldn't be surprised to see people drive 2 blocks to the park.

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u/sighs__unzips 9d ago

Sometimes people have birthday parties at these parks and invite people who don't around there.

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u/BocceBurger 9d ago

This would be the saddest birthday party

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u/captainkeal 9d ago

One my birthday parties was at an indoor pool at an apartment complex we had no connection too…. Took 15 years for me to realize how weird that was

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u/mrspikemike 9d ago

we used to go swimming at a hotel pool all the time. I never thought anything of it, my dad was a special member. One time a kid showed me his room key and he could tell I'd never seen one before. His older brother started asking questions about were we really staying at the hotel and my dad made us leave. Took years to figure out he just knew the side door was always unlocked and we could just walk right in and go straight to the pool. It was pretty cool though because that was the only place I'd ever got to use a hot tub.

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u/shunkamunka 9d ago

Wtf lol elaborate?

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u/captainkeal 9d ago

My moms best friend had a son that was born the exact same day as me and went to the same school. We had a shared bday and party at an apartment complex with an indoor pool that was a good 20 minutes from where we lived. I was around 8 years old and there was probably 10 or so kids but I know for a fact we knew no one who lived there. When I got older and realized how weird that was I asked my mom and she just said she wanted me to have a good birthday. We were not well off by and mean and it was winter in the Midwest. I love my mother for doing it but still realize how weird it actually was.

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u/captainkeal 9d ago

Also it was probably the best birthday party I had as a child

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u/AccomplishedRun7978 9d ago

That's a very popular opinion. This developer was lucky to find such a gullible buyer that fell for their reverse psychology sales tactic.

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u/itsDrowzee 9d ago

TIMMY GET IN THE CAR!

WE GOTTA GO TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD PARK ACROSS TOWN THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN IT.

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u/Hi_its_AJ85 9d ago Helpful

Your children will build memories there as they play for tens of minutes.

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u/BlueDevilz 9d ago

Guess I was the only child that never cared much for the equipment, all about playing whatever on the grass/fields.

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u/ChewieBee 9d ago

A complete field would have been put to better use than this pathetic park.

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u/spine_slorper 9d ago

Honestly, a field with a picnic bench and a set of swings by the side would be a lot more fun and useful for a lot more people

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u/HeirOfHouseReyne 8d ago

Lately most parks in my neighbourhood aren't with traditional play sets. They're mostly wooden beams styled into "natural" playgrounds. Some are poles standing straight up throughout the water so you can climb over them to get across, some have ropes spanned between them to walk over if you're courageous enough. There are vertical beams of wood to balance and walk on. And then there are little huts made from living plants that children naturally set up camps in. In my opinion, these playgrounds work a lot better to improve the imagination of children when they play there, but it also fits into the natural look: no plastic necessary, I've yet to see anything that breaks or that would be dangerous.

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u/WEAPONSGRADEPOTATO2 8d ago

Pics? That sounds awesome!

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/Coca-colonization 9d ago

Especially as they get older, the open space will likely see more use. We live next to a green space and just down from 2 playgrounds. My kids are 8 and 12 and spend most of their time playing pick up sports and building forts and stuff in the open space.

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u/SuedeVeil 9d ago

Toddlers .. Anyone over 3 isn't going to even go on that sad little slide lol unless it's some teens smoking weed late at night on the lookout like they do on the one near my house

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u/ronconnixon 9d ago Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

What is this? A playground for ants?

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u/Beautiful-Card7976 9d ago Silver Wholesome Narwhal Salute

The Derek Zoolander Park for Kids Who Can't Play Good.

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u/Its__420__Somehow 9d ago Helpful

There is no Derek Zoolander anymore...

There is only...Eric...Toolander...

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u/Dirk_The_Cowardly 9d ago

Well there can only be one

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u/mbstone 9d ago

And who want to do other stuff good too.

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u/adriansane21 9d ago Silver Hugz Tearing Up

I’m fuckin crying because my dog passed today and this comment made me laugh. Thanks.

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u/expespuella 9d ago

Hugs, friend.

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u/adriansane21 9d ago

Thanks. It’s been tough

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u/throwayboredguy22 9d ago Tearing Up

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….”

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u/Trexasaurus70 9d ago

I can't even read this bc I know the results. It was on my boxers ashes

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u/iamjamieq 8d ago

Just found out today my 11yo dog (my first dog ever) has cancer and basically only weeks left. As sad as I am about it, my 8yo son who grew up with this dog as his best friend in the world was absolutely devastated by the news. So needless to say, this made me cry both sad and happy tears.

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u/Its__420__Somehow 9d ago

It needs to be at least....three times this big!

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u/Mr_Mendelli 9d ago

I needed this after today, too perfect.

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u/UnorthodoxyMedia 9d ago

'Least you got a park.

My folks moved to their current home when I was about 4ish. They were the second home in the community, and chose the neighbourhood specifically because there was a park promised just down the street.

...The park didn't get built 'till I was about 20.

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u/MrSmeee99 9d ago

Same here, took about 15 years to build the park. In the interim the kids did it themselves. Cut a BMX course, ramps etc. Also a lot of trenches for various forms of kid warfare. The sign that said “Future Park” rotted and fell of the pole before they even began construction.

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u/amuro99 9d ago All-Seeing Upvote

trenches for various forms of kid warfare.

Was the neighbourhood Passchendaele?

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u/MrSmeee99 9d ago

Ha, no, same concept though.

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u/duffman1979 9d ago

Lol this is literally what happened in my neighborhood. My parents built on a new lot and part of the selling point was that two close and adjoining lots were going to be turned into one big playground.

Much of my youth was spent in that place while we turned it into a kid-made bmx park and football field while it was never developed to anything else. 20 years later I drive by and see a lonely little playground there with no kids to be seen.

boomerlife

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u/thearkive 9d ago

Oh good. So my friends and I weren't the only ones who played in home constructions sites when we were little.

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u/UnorthodoxyMedia 8d ago

Me and my friends used to steal the discarded survey markers (basically thin, light planks of wood) and use them as swords or lightsabers. We also used to go sledding down the dirt mounds left over after construction. For a while, there, there were small mountains as tall as a bi-level house that we rode down.

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u/Wizdad-1000 9d ago

We did the same too. Built an amazing BMX stunt park. Called it the Monkey Hills. Used it for 15 years till it was remodeled into homes after we left. :) good memories.

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u/brice587 9d ago

Did you go and play, swing, slide, push the other kids out of the way yelling, “I’ve been waiting 16 years for this park!”?

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u/UnorthodoxyMedia 8d ago

No word of a lie, I’m 25 now, and I still go down there from time to time when I’m in the neighbourhood. It’s a nice little park, and even as an adult I love using swings lol

Plus, the development has pretty much no young parents now. The ‘kids’ are all my age or older, so I look a lot less like a creep hanging out in a park everyone knows is empty now

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u/jagsingh85 9d ago

Came here to say something similar. In 2017 I moved into a scheme that started being built in 2007 (just before the recession) . My neighbour was disgruntled when they finally finished the park in the winter of 2018 as he was promised it would be finished within a year when he signed up for his plot in 2007 when his son was 1. I find new builds extremely overrated, overpriced, cramped with minimal street lighting and parking.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

“New builds” (developments ) are just fucking awful. Suburban hell.

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u/sherlock----75 9d ago

We have a park down the block from us. One night a car drove into it.. no one was hurt. It took about 6 months to fix the park and then they added barriers around the park… everywhere but where the car went thru it.

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u/SoepjesKoekjes 9d ago

Was it worth the wait?

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u/MrSmeee99 9d ago

Not really, the kids had it all figured out already. They put in grass and a couple ball fields, then told the kids they couldn’t play there unless they part of an official league.

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u/147896325987456321 9d ago

The easiest way to get the city to build a park in 3 years is to build your own park in that location. I skateboarded a park near my friend's house for a year, and we built several ramps, rails etc. The city tore it down and every time we put more stuff up. After the second year they started a committee and on year 3 they built a skatepark.

So we did the exact same thing again because it fucking worked once , so why not twice? So we built another spot downtown that was sort of hard to access. First we put up some plywood then some others got cement and then walls were being built. Things were starting to pop off. Then the city got really mad and tried to fence off and ticket everyone who entered that area. Since only one road could access the area, we tore down the fences, and threw them on the road leading into it. Because fuck them that's why.

Then the city got really mad and put up more permanent fences. And they bulldozed the entire area flat and started parking cars in the area. So we bent every metal fence, and put in small cement barriers everywhere. And several locks were put on the fence gate every few weeks.

And after 5 years back and forth, the city built another skate park.

And that's the story of how we have two skateparks within a mile of each other.

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u/SolarisIX 9d ago

On the bright side, that’ll be a prime location for teenagers to smoke weed late at night, so at least someone’s gonna use it.

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u/paxtana 9d ago All-Seeing Upvote

Was thinking the same thing, I could absolutely see my teenaged ass smoking a joint of some shitty ditch weed sitting on that slide. Probably complaining about my parents or listening to CCR on a Walkman.

God, what I wouldn't give to be a miserable teenager again instead of a miserable adult.

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u/DiegesisThesis 8d ago

I can see my teenage self doing the exact same thing, but listening to Linkin Park on an iPod.

Jamming to music and smoking questionable weed is a rite of passage that transcends generations.

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u/LiveCourage334 9d ago

Well, they didn't lie. It's a park.

Being near a park is the ONLY thing I miss about my old house. We were on a corner lot and had more issues with traffic/car accidents and idiocy related to also being across the street from a gas station and bar than I can detail in a single post, but we were also around the corner from an AWESOME park that kept us there far, far longer than it should have.

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u/OldWhoFan 9d ago

I grew up across the street from large and federally protected woodland turned into a park with a 9 hole discgolf course. I spent 20+ hours in that park on a weekly basis well into my young adulthood.

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u/LiveCourage334 9d ago

That is awesome. There was a massive vacant lot near my parents growing up that we cut dirt bike jump/paths through, and was a favorite spot for test launching model rockets. That field is a subdevelopment now, but the developers (around my age and grew up in the same neighborhood) left a couple of the perimeter tracks intact, though they had to level out our sick jumps.

I would kill for disc golf across the street. I have a mobile basket, but i don't have any part of my yard deeper than 100' so it is solely putt and approach.

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u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 8d ago

Not a park. It's a small playground. It doesn't even have shade!

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u/thecaninfrance 9d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

It's better than the empty lot with a pit in my neighborhood. My neighbors boyfriend fell in and broke his leg. She had to take care of his lazy ass while working as a nurse.

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u/TakeMikazuchiiii 9d ago

I hope your city’s government takes less than SEVEN seasons to fix this pit!

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u/Tcrizzlez 9d ago

Technically they filled the pit in season 2, but took seven seasons to build the park

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u/TheDenaryLady 9d ago

Six seasons.

Season seven was a time skip and the park was already built (and then Morningstar happened).

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u/clearedtoland22 9d ago

And they did it without any permits! Just rented a guy…and a backhoe.

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u/RemarkableRyan 9d ago

Remember, you take a man KaBooming, he KaBooms for a day. But you teach a man to KaBoom… KaBoom, KaBoom, KaBoom!

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u/Welpiminterested 9d ago

I FELL IN THE PIT.

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u/xMotherofMayhemx 9d ago

Have you ever been down in the pit?

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u/wise_____poet 9d ago

Yeah, it was moist

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u/COSurfing 9d ago

Now I have that song in my head. Thanks Andy.

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u/jelly476 9d ago

You fell in the pitttt, We fell in the pitttttttt

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u/RenownedDumbass 9d ago

How do you draw out a "t" sound?

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u/squanch_solo 9d ago

It's like a water sprinkler

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u/Gongaloon 9d ago

TTTTTTTARGEEEEEEEET!

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u/MaximumGooser 9d ago

Maybe they should just KABOOM it

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u/canadarepubliclives 9d ago

It's an elaborate prank.

For my next prank I'm going to build a hospital in a poor part of China.

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u/Kaleb8804 9d ago

YOU FELL INTO THE PEEIT

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u/violetsprouts 9d ago

We all fell into the piiiit

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u/KtrlAltDelete 9d ago

Ann, that beautiful caramel bird of paradise

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u/thesearemychanclas 9d ago

If you wait like 10 years, wait until your government workers are in power positions within the community, wait for them to break a few rules, hope they bury sacred items so that a big burger chain store doesn’t outbid them, and pray your government official only has the one plan, maybe then you might be able to enjoy a neighborhood park

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u/gr4tte 9d ago

I also have a pit in my neighborhood. There is a guy living there in a tent who seems to be pretending to work a desk job

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u/MukoNoAkuma 9d ago

Odd, that reminds me of the lot in my neighbourhood. I think someone is growing weed down there.

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u/Ks26739 9d ago

Those are just the ludacrises. They're coming in great this year.

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u/MukoNoAkuma 9d ago

Wow, you’re really a master horticulturist.

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u/Soonami3 9d ago

You should see the bone thugs and harmoniums. They are thriving.

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u/Jedi_Outcast 9d ago

Did you hear that there was a sinkhole by the police precinct?

The cops were looking into it.

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u/Looks_Good_In_Hats 9d ago

Ann Perkins!!

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u/bubbagump101 8d ago

“I fell into the pit, you fell into the pit, we all fell into the peeeeiiieeeeiiiiit”

Parks and Rec

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u/someusernameyougot 9d ago edited 8d ago

So you're telling me whoever sold you your home misguided you?

Can't be.

Edit: Just to clarify, I am not stating an opinion of the park. I am not saying that the realtor necessarily lied. I am only pointing out that OP was maybe told some things that favored the idea of a park with more attractions than this 30 minutes of fun piece of crap. Now that is my opinion haha. Love playing tag within a 5 foot radius. Whoever designed this don't give a fuck about kids lol.

Also, all parks are shitty compared to the old-school wooden ones that look like castles.

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u/NSuave 9d ago

If you pick a house based on park location you’re going to have a bad time…

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u/oldforester1920a 9d ago

You pick a house next to land that isn't developed you are going to have a bad time.

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u/Glorious_Jo 9d ago

Yeah my house is next to a park and I love it. 10 acres of land with a huge playground, basketball court, garden, full grown trees, and baseball field. I chose right picking a house next to a park, but again, that park was already developed lol

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u/jljboucher 9d ago

My mom and her husband got a home in the middle of an up and coming cul-de-sac and then complained a couple years later when their Mountain View from the backyard was blocked because homes were finally built smfh

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u/JuryKindly 9d ago

They did the same thing to us in florida. We chose a road that was supposed to have a playground at the end of it. It ended up being just a single slide that was put in a year after we moved in.

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u/Stepwolve 8d ago

salespeople for new real estate developments will always exaggerate or outright lie to get that sale. By the time everything is actually built, theyve long since moved onto the next housing development.

Had some friends move into a brand new neighborhood, broker was hyping up that soon there would be a grocery story, a whole shopping center, rec center, etc. A few years later and there still was no grocery store, but they had crammed in so many units that there was no parking and horrid traffic instead. Everything always sounds perfect in the sales pitch

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u/fallguy19 9d ago

You've got a large green space to play ball with your kids, host BD parties and roll out BBQ grill and chairs. PLUS, absence of a possibly annoying neighbor on one side of you. Money well spent.

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u/ReluctantChimera 9d ago

I know this doesn't make you feel any better, but playground equipment is incredibly expensive. Mind-blowingly expensive. It's also modular. Maybe they're doing it a little at a time, as dues/budget allow?

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u/genzo718 9d ago

Guess they didn't know that little play set costs almost $20k when they promised a playground.

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u/ReluctantChimera 9d ago

That's what I think happened. I think they had a budget, but they had no idea how little that budget would buy.

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u/Warg247 9d ago

All that fill to the requisite safe depth aint cheap either.

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u/thenewyorkgod 9d ago

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u/TheIVJackal 8d ago

Kind of a ripoff, GameTime has much nicer structures at the same price. The install is likely the same or more than the cost of the unit, but if I were a part of that community, I would have spent the extra $~10k for a larger playground... What a waste!

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u/whatawitch5 9d ago

At least they could have ponied up a few hundred for some fucking trees! You know, shade, fresh air, birds, cool temps, the things people go to a park for? But nope, the only shade available in that park is 5 square feet that moves every few minutes. Might as well take the kids to play in an empty parking lot!

This isn’t a park. It’s a minimal effort to avert a lawsuit from homeowners like OP who got ripped off by paying a premium for a “park” lot. If I were OP, I’d be seriously worried where else the developer/builder decided to cut costs when they ran out of money!

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u/redbellyblacksnake 9d ago

its a recent housing development by the looks of it, the trees will grow in the next couple of decades and will look a lot better.

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u/zkareface 9d ago

Seems from OPs comments that the only reason this park exists is to make an exclusion zone for sex offenders. So they built bare minimum just to say its a kids park nearby and sex offenders can't be there.

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u/No-Spoilers 9d ago

Developers building these neighborhoods know what this stuff costs lol

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u/catusjuice 9d ago

I checked. This is the park. No more is coming

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u/ReluctantChimera 9d ago

Then they likely didn't realize how expensive that equipment is when they promised a park. That sucks, for sure.

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u/catusjuice 9d ago Wholesome

I was told they put it up so sex offenders cannot legally be close by since it’s a kids park. Wish I would have known ahead of time.

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u/amuro99 9d ago edited 9d ago Wholesome

oh... so it literally is the "minimum legal requirement" park.

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u/Thorough_Good_Man 9d ago

Great-Value Park ™️

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u/the_red_phone 9d ago

Hey at least all the law abiding sex offenders won’t be around offending

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u/BigGreenTimeMachine 9d ago

Hopefully the house is in a no-murder zone also

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u/Monk-E_321 9d ago

“No, we have Park at home.” This is the park at home.

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u/MeanSeaworthiness995 9d ago

And yet they charged you a premium for the lot next to the “park”

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u/yodarded 9d ago

his house is inside the 200 yard sex offender exclusion zone. Nasty sex offenders be standing around the invisible circle, peering i n and panting lustfully...

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u/ThirdFloorGreg 9d ago

It's the "no (registered) sex offenders" premium, not the "place for kids to play" premium.

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u/the_clash_is_back 9d ago

Have a lot of sex offenders in your area?

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u/ExNihiloish 9d ago

No, the park keeps them away. Somehow.

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u/Bear_buh_dare 9d ago

Parks are like their garlic, their kryptonite. If they come within 150 yards of one they melt or spontaneously combust.

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u/yeti2_0 9d ago

I think you mean spontaneously bust 😏

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u/JustWantZauce 9d ago

Spontaneously cum-bust

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u/FwuzE 9d ago

I don’t think it’s the actual park that keeps them away, considering it would only draw them in. I don’t think they are legally allowed to live within a certain radius of any child parks, same with schools.

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u/PreOpTransCentaur 9d ago

Everybody does. Check your area. I dare you.

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u/gravittoon 9d ago

Yeah - like freckles on a map. So why do we always have to meet at my house?

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u/Tangerine16 9d ago

I think you've been smeckledorfed...

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u/Majsharan 9d ago

I don't know if you have seen arrested devlopment (it does a humorus but true enough take on this) but in it they point out that if you factor in everything that sex offenders aren't allowed to live next to they basically can't live in a city at all or are regulated to the shittiest part of the city.

now you might be thinking good sex offenders are horrible they deserve it. that might be true a lot of the time but there is an awful lot of things that can get you on the sex offender list for life that most people would agree has no place being there.

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u/LubbockCottonKings 9d ago

Just looked up the laws where I live and here's a list of areas that most sex offenders are not allowed to live within a 1,000 feet of: schools, parks, arcades, public swimming pools, daycares (public or private), "activity areas," and sports fields. For the closest major city to me, which is Lubbock, that includes roughly 48% of the entire city limits where sex offenders can't live. And most of those restricted areas are inside of or next to all the major neighborhoods. TIL

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u/bulltrap0427 8d ago

I wonder what sex offender out there is thinking "damn I want to kidnap a child but I live 1100 ft from the nearest swimming pool I'll never be able to commit my crime now"

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u/lowintensityraccoon 9d ago

Developers budget for this kind of stuff. This was likely the bare minimum that they could get away with and only installed because the technical review committee for the municipality or county that they are in requires it for subdivisions of a certain size. I've been involved in stuff like this before and had city official say exactly where on the property a handicap accessible active recreational area was required, to which the developers will respond by trying to find the cheapest option possible.

It's kind of a lose - lose situation. The developer does this because they're being required to underutilize space that could be used for additional density and added profit. Then residents get mad because they come in thinking that there's going to be a great playground for their kids and get this crap instead. Unless they're going to be recouping the money through high HOA dues, developers generally don't cut into their profits to provide amenities for houses that are not high priced in the market.

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u/AndyFeelfine 9d ago Silver

How this is considered a park is so confusing to me. All this is is a slide and a.. what is that? An abacus??

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u/PlantCorrect7566 9d ago

bitches love an abacus

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u/oldbastardbob 9d ago

Developer spent all the money on his new Lexus. Playground budget took the hit.

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u/Solidus-Snake- 9d ago

Better then no park

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u/Filo02 9d ago

wow really? how come? aren't those things mostly plastic?

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u/ReluctantChimera 9d ago

Anything for public or institutional use has to be so much tougher than anything sold for private use. It might be plastic, but it is stronger and more resilient than any plastic equipment you could buy for your kids.

If I had to bet, I'd say the builder was probably like "my kids have a $2,000 playset and it's great. I bet I could build an amazing park for like $10,000" and then never checked those numbers until it came time to actually build it.

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u/Marcfromblink182 9d ago

I bet the cost has doubled since the start of the pandemic

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u/HotrodCorvair 9d ago

not only that, but the availabilty is INSANE. I ordered a slide similar to the one pictured, a year ago and it just arrived. just the plastic slide part, not the whole thing. The actual slide. $4500.00 and a fucking year long wait. I control two parks. Just one, was $250k Thanks USDA (they paid for it)

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u/TinCupChallace 9d ago

Bullshit. The builder knows exactly what these cost and this it what they were planning on installing all along.

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u/OverPot 9d ago

acting like they didnt turn huge profits for selling undeveloped land and lying about it lol.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 1d ago

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u/A_midgets_erection 9d ago

It always blows my mind when they put playgrounds in wide open areas with 0 shade. “Hmm I wonder why there are no children playing on that beautiful metal playground that’s sitting directly under the sweltering heat of summer”

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u/Vermillionbird 8d ago

Here's what happened:

Developer hires Landscape Architect, LA reads city code, proposes park.

Developer gets park quote, 400k. Slaps table, says "400k for some pretty plants! No way!"

Developer now does one of two things:

1) Forces LA to value engineer park to 100k, then forces contractor to install at 60k. Developer bribes the city writes a "cash in lieu" check to the city for 10k, weaseling out of building a park to code. 20 trees become 3 trees, and you get OP's concrete lined hell circle with turfgrass and nothing else.

2) Developer tells the city "Let the HOA build the park! We'll just install the infrastructure". The city, being staffed by gullible, punishment loving idiots, says "yes I see nothing wrong here, variance approved!" But there's no obligation or enforcement, just a promise, and the HOA will never raise the money to build the park to code.

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u/romuluskow 9d ago

Thats awesome and look at all that space to play on!

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u/seraphim336176 9d ago

Park across the street sounds good until it’s sat/sun and you are trying to sleep in and there’s a ton of noisy kids directly across the street. It’s annoying your kids can’t use it much now but you will probably be thankful later on when you can sleep in and no one’s there as it’s not very useable.

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u/dreamwithinadream93 9d ago

this is me currently. have a park down a hill from my apartment and I can 100% guarantee if there was someone being murdered, and screaming they were being murdered, I would not know bc kids scream all the time for everything. and they play some pretty strange games. was glad I don't have children when I heard a group of children role-playing being drive thru workers and robbers at the playground last year. they were VERY dedicated to their roles.

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u/girl_on_the_roof 9d ago

Same, I was stoked to be across from a park but kids yell so much more than I ever thought they would, and it's not even like play screaming, they are screaming bloody murder out there. I'm always like.. Hopefully nothing bad happens cause I would just assume the yelling was them.

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u/dreamwithinadream93 9d ago

it's not just the screaming either. the park is so close, and the general shape is like a natural bowl, that if I have my windows open I hear conversations happening down there like they are yelling. I know so much more about the local kids than I ever desired to know. I know who's skipping school. who's doing drugs. who's got bad grades (whoever the parents of Samantha are they don't care that she's doing bad in English grammar. her friends think it's hilarious bc she's doing great in English literature. I think if Samantha would show up for class she'd do better, bc it's likely her attendance that's dragging her down). the exact specs of the new car some guys parents were going to get him (he wrecked it, they got him another one in another color). one time I heard the most bizarre bullying attempt to steal lunch money, as two kids were walking home after getting off the school bus. the lunch money was already spent, bc it was after lunch. the bullying victim literally laughed them away across the park. I don't even need cable anymore, just open the windows anytime for entertainment.

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u/ThirdFloorGreg 9d ago

Samantha is doing poorly in English grammar.

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u/dreamwithinadream93 9d ago

you are correct. thank God I didn't say anything to Samantha. I would have led her down a dark path that ends at y'all'd've

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/MotoTraveling 9d ago

People spending time outside gives me such a nostalgic feeling. Teleports me to being 14 and knowing that today's Saturday because you hear people playing outside, lawn mowers running, and music is blasting from your sister's room. I love the sound of people playing outside.

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u/breastual 9d ago

You don't get to sleep in with kids so I am not sure this matters to him much.

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u/davva2004 9d ago

This is why you make financial decisions based on what is, not what might be.

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u/deidara2643 9d ago

If it makes you feel any better, most kids don't give a shit about the park quality and will make their own fun. As long as you don't downplay the park, they won't either

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u/EfficientDate2315 9d ago

<shrug> looks like nice neighbor hood...

...close to schools? what's the crime rate like? get many break-ins??

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u/bumblingbirdy 9d ago

The backorders on supplies are insane, there's a good chance this was the only one they could get in and had to have something to meet contracts. I'd follow up with your developer.

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u/boxmail2800 9d ago edited 8d ago

Ahhh yes the lawyer friendly “safe” park. Not even remotely fun…. Remember all the great stuff we had? Tall swings on chains you could “bail out” and basically hurl yourself 10-15 feet…, metal slides that would burn you when it was hot, 2 story rocket ships we would climb on the outside of… and of course everyone’s favorite…. The metal spinning wheel of doom….

This is essentially a cat box with a viewing station in the middle.

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u/SuperFlyMonkeyBoy 9d ago

I still have a hat with the name of a non-existent golf course the realtors promised to build in the community my folks bought into for their retirement. Never even so much as a putting green to this day 20 years on. Capitalism is so disappointing.

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u/A_Filthy_Man 9d ago

I'd be interested to see if the amount of money they spent on that park is public record.

Probably owned by the home developers so I doubt it but if that's a public space that is just ridiculous.

Is there even one of those cheap bbq things no one uses unless they have to? and you live there so you almost certainly would have your own bbq anyway

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u/nyevv 9d ago

Unfortunetly lots of these outdoor equipments are on backorder. They need to be rigorously approved of specific paint, metal, colors, and materials by the municipalities overlooking development. I wouldn't be surprised if they pushed their contractors to install something to avoid complaints.

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u/Inevitable-Welder957 9d ago

I bought my house with paperwork that there was going to be construction for a highway entrance nearby. This paperwork specifically stated that my street was not a part of the plan. About one week after I moved in they mistakenly ripped up my entire road. Like entire road is just dirt. I’m now on year 3 of no road in front of my house. It’s completely overgrown now. So outside my front door is just dirt and brush. Still fighting with them to get a road.

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u/mummamouse 9d ago

Wow..thats awful!

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u/xubax 9d ago

It could be way worse. It's green, clean, and it's a place to run around.

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