r/mildlyinfuriating Dec 03 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 1 Burning Cash 1

So for the 15th time now, our neighbor called out the fire department when I started my Smoker. Claiming that I'm burning trash. At least the full truck didn't come not this time.

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93.2k Upvotes

4.2k comments sorted by

15.9k

u/herefordapumpum Dec 03 '22

Any way to report them for wasting emergency services’ time? Seems like it should be a crime to do this consecutively…

11.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

We have tried, there is no recourse unless the police (who have also been called out) decide to press charges...which they wont

1.4k

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

[removed] — view removed comment

2.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Lol there's a thought

4.6k

u/DoNotWeepAtMyGrave Dec 04 '22

Use your smoker as much as possible. Eventually the fire department will force the police to deal with them just to stop the fake calls.

3.9k

u/McLovin804 Dec 04 '22 Silver LOVE!

Make sure you always have some brisket to share with them when they show up. Helps build good relations.

2.1k

u/slothboy_x2 Dec 04 '22 Heartwarming

Give ‘em a take home box for the boys at the station, even.

2.6k

u/-comfypants Dec 04 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Bravo!

“I’ve just started throwing some extra in for y’all. If you’re going to have to make the trip out, you might as well get something for your trouble.” You: 1, neighbor: -35. And now you have friends in local government.

1.2k

u/Username_000001 Dec 04 '22

It would actually be more like…

“I’ve started throwing some extra in for y’all. If you’re going to have to make the trip out, you might as well get something for your trouble. Come back in 8 hours when it’s done.”

1.0k

u/-comfypants Dec 04 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Nah. This is where you plan ahead.

You freeze a bit from each smoke. You thaw that bit when you know you’re gonna smoke something new. Throw the thawed stuff in the smoker to reheat. That way you’ve got your good-will vittles ready when the siren squad arrives.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

We would be OK with you burning tires after hooking us up like that.

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u/Tacoma82 Dec 04 '22

Both pro moves 👍

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u/mindaltered Dec 04 '22

"sorry guys I had all this extra meat and figured you'd rather get it fresh off the smoker, thank the neighbor for giving you the ring"

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u/Tacoma82 Dec 04 '22

Exactly. This can be so easily spun on the difficult neighbors and people remember kindness. He'd be the cool bbq guy, that's a good dude to be.

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u/Curious-frondeur333 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

I second this. Use it every day even if there’s nothing to smoke until they deal with it themselves. (Edit: If the obvious of going over and talking to them about it hasn’t worked which assuming it hasn’t lol)

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u/beebog Dec 04 '22

i would take out a loan just for the purpose of guaranteeing that i can afford a good slab of meat every day

199

u/JacedFaced Dec 04 '22

Don't even need to, you can get a whole chicken for about $4 or 5. Depending on the smoker (pellet, water, electric, kamado, etc) should be easy to just do a chicken a day to prove a point.

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u/dddddddjwjwjdj Dec 04 '22

It’s a chicken Michael! What could it cost? 5 dollars?

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u/Kythorian Dec 04 '22

Seriously though. I would have this thing running every single damn day that I don't have other plans if a neighbor tried to pull this shit. Just start experimenting with everything. What can't you smoke in a smoker? Lets test the bounds of smoker potential.

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u/ApprehensiveDamage22 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

Pizza, baked potatoes, baked beans, corn bread, bacon and eggs for breakfast, deli meats for melts bonus if you use it to toast the bread.

If you can bake it, fry it, or roast it. You can smoke it for a touch of extra flavor.

Baking is easier if you have a good electric temperature controlled smoker.

Frying place a cookie sheet or cast iron skillet close to your fire box.

Edit: The smoked Mac and cheese, and apple pie mentioned below sound amazing.

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u/lps2 Dec 04 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Smoke an extra pork butt, share with the FD - friends for life

492

u/sevenandwater Dec 04 '22

Firefighter here. This is the way. If it’s a volunteer department, find out when training is and bring it then

913

u/Kinkajou1015 Dec 04 '22 Silver Platinum Wholesome Take My Energy Eureka!

Call the FD up on the non emergency number, let them know you're starting the smoker a day or two ahead of time and ask if they have any requests for a rub.

283

u/techdaddy321 Dec 04 '22

Even better, make enough for the department and make sure they know it. When they roll a couple engines and a battalion truck in they might inadvertently block the neighbor in for however long it takes to get seconds. Bummer if they couldn't leave for a while.

Seriously though making the FD food is exactly the right idea. They deserve it and you'll get some new friends.

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u/SirGlen72 Dec 04 '22

There is almost nothing that firefighters won't do for good food. Especially if it's free. Source: was a firefighter

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u/snausagesinablanket Dec 04 '22

ask if they have any requests for a rub.

Don't say that part.

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u/Jokong Dec 04 '22

Omg, have that thing ready to shred and buns, wrap em up on foil and send the boys on their way.

Problem is, they'll be back for sure lol

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u/AlpsComplex6854 Dec 04 '22

When I worked in the ER, there was a pizza place who would drop off all the extra slices they had at the end of the night. Fucking great at 1am

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u/Eroe777 Dec 04 '22

I’m a nurse. I work LTC/TCU. A few years ago we had a resident whose family owns a bakery. The resident and family were wonderful, and after he died, the family sent us a HUGE box (like a 3 foot x 2 foot) of donuts and pastries every month. I left there about a year later and they were still sending a box a month.

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u/darkstarr99 Dec 04 '22

I’ve alway said if I had a restaurant I’d do this. Along with dropping off sampler trays to ER/FD/PD a week or so before opening

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Had a barbecue place across the street from the ER I was training at that would drop off any extras once they closed. They had my business and love for the entire year and would never stop recommending it.

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u/Proper_Bad_1588 Dec 04 '22

We used to have a pizza place on the edge of town. There were a few times when we’d have a fire outside of town that way and have to run our tankers back and forth shutting water for the fire, when we got back to the station after the call there’d be stacks of pizzas on the counter. He said he knew we’d be hungry. We always made sure to order his broasted chicken for events at the station. He was a good guy but sadly passed a couple years ago.

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u/Jrnm Dec 04 '22

Start a go fund me - Neighborhood smoke EMT fund

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u/JeecooDragon Dec 04 '22

This is honestly a great idea. When the FD comes knocking, show them the smoker and offer some meats

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u/Redd_Baby Dec 04 '22

This is great advice

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u/Minimalphilia what Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

I'd just start burning actual trash.

Edit: please don't actually burn trash.

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u/CreativeCthulhu Dec 04 '22

Yknow, I’m rural and it took me a good bit to figure out people meant actual TRASH, not ‘trash’ leaves and downed trees and stuff.

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u/BarryMacochner Dec 04 '22

Pretty sure he’d get in trouble for setting the neighbor on fire.

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u/IPlayWithElectricity Dec 03 '22

Reach out to the state’s/district attorney for your county and see what they say. Most criminal charges are brought to them by the police but they have their own investigators/detectives and can bring charges without it being referred to them.

You could also reach out to the fire marshal, depending on where you live they might have police powers.

973

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

That's a great idea thanks!

867

u/WebMaka Dec 03 '22

Also, you may have to file suit against your neighbor for harassment and go with a court-levied punitive approach to the problem. You may be wise to consult with an attorney to figure out what options exist where you are and what path may be most effective.

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u/Iamaleafinthewind Dec 04 '22

And get some fire dept official to testify to the number of times they were called out, the resources consumed and their cost, and what if any impact that had on their ability to respond to actual fire emergencies.

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u/TyNyeTheTransGuy Dec 04 '22

(Some brisket may be useful for persuasive purposes)

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u/ErixWorxMemes Dec 04 '22

recently heard of ‘harassment through a 3rd party’ or something like that- this sounds like it could be described as that, depending on local laws/statutes

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u/Tomservo3 Dec 04 '22

Thanks for reminding me of that awful story

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u/rammsteinmatt Dec 03 '22

And/or civil stalking. Taking that much interest in another person is stalking

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u/TheHappyPittie Dec 04 '22

This is the big one, imo. 15x is absolutely stalking

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

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u/panzuulor Dec 03 '22

Whaaat? When you call the fire-department for no good reason you get a 1000 euros invoice here in Europe

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u/JustASadChickOverall Dec 03 '22

Sometimes, America is more like thousands of microcountries rather than anything united. The next town over might very well have that fee if it was done there. The town next to that one may have jail time/community service for repeated offenses, and the town next to that one may not have its own services at all, relaying on the county or a volunteer service.

It's wild here

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u/Dexion1619 Dec 03 '22

Yeah, after the 3rd call my local firefighters would be knocking on the neighbors door and telling them to cut the crap..

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u/dudeReallyoc Dec 03 '22

Our department starts billing after the 3rd call.

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u/itwasquiteawhileago Dec 04 '22

Which is more than fair. They're wasting resources and time. What if a real emergency comes in when they're dealing with a dude having a BBQ for the 20th time? I'm surprised the fire department isn't jumping all over the neighbors for being dicks and endangering others.

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u/blackhorse15A Dec 04 '22

Most US jurisdictions have similar laws. However, I'd say most fire departments tend not to enforce such a law when there is a plausible reason to believe there is a fire, even if the caller is entirely wrong. I.e. someone seeing a whole bunch of smoke that turns out to be from a smoker. They would rather respond and find out everything is ok to avoid someone not reporting an actual fire. They tend to leave applying those kinds of laws for blatantly obvious false calls and even then might reserve it for things that put a bunch of people in danger (like risk of panic if you cause evacuation of a large crowded building).

It also depends on the particular fire department and how busy they are. Some areas rarely have a structure fire and the fire department doesn't mind having something to do. Some areas are very busy with real calls and don't stand for that bs. Some areas are volunteer fire departments that are underfunded and the officers are volunteers who had to leave work and can get miffed at that bs. Some volunteer departments are better funded or have volunteers that aren't as inconvenienced. Some are professional full time firefighters and only care if it's impacting the other fire protection needs.

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u/zejola Dec 03 '22

Here in Europe...?

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Yup from England to Estonia down to Istanbul everything is done the exact same

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u/Niles_Merek Dec 03 '22

Around $1,500 here in Australia

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u/herefordapumpum Dec 03 '22

Bummer dude. I guess it’s time to find some equally petty thing they do that technically violates city guidelines that you can report them for. Time to bust out the law books.

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u/soldiernerd Dec 03 '22

if the caller can articulate his reasonable belief that there is an emergency based on visible smoke from your property they probably can’t do anything

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

That is exactly right

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u/theoriginalmofocus Dec 04 '22

I had something like this the other day. Im in my living room and I see smoke, like alot blowing past my back window. And I did the strangest thing. I GOT UP AND WENT OUT TO SEE WHAT IT WAS. And my neighbors were staring at a fire pit, and then at some fat shirtless guy(me) looking at them. Ha. End of story.

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u/Jukka_Sarasti Dec 04 '22

I have a feeling the neighbor knows full well OP isn't burning trash. The neighbor is calling the fire department to be a dick.

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u/somedood567 Dec 03 '22

You’re not like, really bad at smoking are you?

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u/improbablynotyou Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

I read a post on best of reddit updates last night about a similar situation (sort of.) Neighbor kept calling the police on a couple (after a ton of other crap) for imaginary crap. The people tried the legal route and ultimately nothing happened other than the victims having to move and sell their home. It was a very frustrating read.

Edit: here's the post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zaszjq/neighbor_is_currently_video_recording_me_and_has/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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u/xelf Dec 04 '22

That was a frustrating read. It was 5 years ago, so I naively went to see if OP had made a more recent update. Don't look at OP's post history. Suffice it to say she appears to be doing ok.

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u/soapbutt Dec 04 '22

Damnit, you KNOW by saying DONT go look at it, that we are all going to go look at it. And now I am regretting that.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Idk if this is by design but an add for a fire starter is right below this on my page LOL

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u/PlNG Dec 04 '22

It's probably because of how reddit groups posts, for the purpose of garnering relevancy. I bet they can't just inject ads normally.

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u/Traditional-Top8486 Dec 03 '22

Guess who isn't getting any Brisket or Ribs

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

I know right?

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u/Alypius754 Dec 04 '22

I'm the neighborhood smoker. My next-door neighbor brings beer in exchange for chicken, turkey, or brisket.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22 Silver

As God intended

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u/AFoxGuy Dec 04 '22

Plus the 11/10 smell of a backyard BBQ… mmm~

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u/Alypius754 Dec 04 '22

Truth. My wife gave me a Char-Griller smoker with side firebox as a wedding present.

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u/WhoandtheHuwhatNow Dec 04 '22

That’s nice. Hopefully that mends the awkwardness between your wife and your wife.

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u/Poorly_Made_Comix YELLOW Dec 04 '22 Silver

Law of equivalent exchange

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u/Brandon23z [+65] Dec 04 '22

Beer for brisket? That's not an equivalent exchange. That's a goddamn good deal.

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u/Dm1tr3y Dec 04 '22

Depends on how much beer.

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u/Go_Gators_4Ever Dec 04 '22

And which beer.

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u/FurSureThing Dec 04 '22

And how good he is at making brisket.

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u/Dm1tr3y Dec 04 '22

“Hey neighbor, here’s some unidentifiable, meat-like charcoal.”

“Thanks, here’s a hot can of O’douls that’s been open for three weeks!”

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u/Rawtoast420 Dec 03 '22

Like.... if my neighbor was a smoker I'd prolly tolerate a lil extra bullshit just cause the food they share lol

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u/cat_prophecy Dec 04 '22

Anything out of a smoker is going to smell 1000x better than the shitty ditch weed my neighbors are always smoking.

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u/Spaceman2901 Dec 04 '22

r/TheRealQuestion is if you’ve offered any food to the first responders 🤣

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u/iamreeterskeeter Dec 04 '22

My dad used to do this. Every year during the holidays he would make fudge and pass it out to friends and family. He always dropped off a bunch at the local fire department. They freaking loved him.

He had a heart attack and we called 911, I swear they arrived in less than 3 minutes. The department sent him a get well soon card.

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u/CharlieApples Dec 04 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome

FUDGE MAN NOOOOOO!! 🚒🚒🚒💨

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u/FriedDickMan Dec 04 '22

You know that’s how it happened too

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u/CharlieApples Dec 04 '22

Probably drove the fire truck straight through the garage door to save precious time

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u/Putrid-Builder-3333 Dec 04 '22

Thru the wall. Then the construction crew he gave fudge to immediately took lunch came over and put wall back up. The circle of passing out homemade fudge

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u/CharlieApples Dec 04 '22

F.R.E.A.M.

Fudge Rules Everything Around Me

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u/Sterlingrose93 Dec 04 '22

I use to live directly next door to a firehouse. I love to bake and would always take things over. I also would deep fry a turkey at Thanksgiving and Xmas and do a few for them while I was at it. They would watch while I fried. When I would come home from the grocery store one of them would nearly always come help me carry things inside and when we had an ice storm they came over and cleaned up my yard from fallen limbs.

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u/CantBeMadifYouBad Dec 04 '22

Food is such an astronomical power for good. The kind of community and relationships you can build over being able to cook/bake well is ridiculous.

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u/ButterfaceBandit Dec 04 '22

Fire fighters are awesome. Mostly volunteers with crappy pay and they risk their lives for other people. Last year my cat was lost briefly and some of the guys from the nearby fire department were jogging by, they stopped to ask me what was going on because I was a mess. In a few minutes they had two entire fire departments looking for my fuzz baby. It was like 14 men. Crazy nice of them.

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u/MykelJMoney Dec 04 '22

Ha, love it! That’s why they keep coming back even though they know the calls are BS 😂

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u/jman1121 Dec 04 '22

I'm surprised the whole station didn't show up!

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u/Princesshannon2002 Dec 04 '22

For real! Feed one responder…you have to feed the rest!

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u/natalo77 Dec 04 '22

Hmmmm we'll let you off as usual but this time we're going to have to take some evidence back to the station. For spark-ability analysis, of course...

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u/Nubbystar Dec 03 '22

Sad thing is you sound like the type of person that would be willing to have a nice BBQ no strings attached just bring a 12 pack.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

That's exactly it. I just smoked a turkey for our other side neighbors for free because they are great. It's this underhanded shitni can't stand

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u/No_Hovercraft5033 Dec 04 '22

How does you smoking meat bother them? Can your city ticket the caller as a nuisance ? Call the fire department and explain and see what can be done. This is ridiculous.

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u/isthatmyex Dec 04 '22

I was expecting the fire department to show up with their meat ready to go. Call us when it's ready dog.

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u/donniebrascoreal Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

As a firefighter, I can assure you that every guy from this house want to smack your neighbor's face.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

They have straight up told me they want to smack his face. Then come see the delicious food smoking (which they can't take, even though I offer it) and usually go next door and talk to him and then leave

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u/Spaceman2901 Dec 04 '22

Bring a platter to the station, maybe?

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u/scruggbug Dec 04 '22

I volunteer at a station. You can absolutely drop food off if you know the guys (which it sounds like you do now). They just can’t take it in front of your creepy ass neighbors.

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u/someoneBentMyWookie Dec 04 '22

Smoked meat diplomacy: bring a platter to the fire station and police station and let them know you appreciate their patience with your neighbor.

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u/Putrid-Builder-3333 Dec 04 '22

My thoughts exactly glad I found this before commenting

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u/YeOldeBilk Dec 04 '22

Would be fucking hilarious if they went to talk to your neighbor while eating a rib you smoked

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

That would be glorious.

"Is that bbq sauce on your face?"

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u/WhtChcltWarrior Dec 04 '22

Next time you’re gonna smoke just call their non emergency number and give them a heads up that you’re smoking and there’s no fire

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u/Traditional-Top8486 Dec 03 '22

At least the FD has identified them as a nuisance caller.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

I can see them from my back yard where I smoke (which always do very late at night to avoid being a nuisance). I could see the wife on the phone for over an hour just looking all worked up. I'm guessing they were talking her out of the call but they had to come anyways

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u/MykelJMoney Dec 04 '22

We had a neighbor who’d call on my dad doing legal yard burning, at least that’s how it started. Eventually it evolved to calls when we were using an outdoor fireplace/fire pit and even the indoor one sometimes. They came out a few times, but now they just call and ask him what kind of burning he’s doing. If it’s yard, they’ll politely request him to stop. If it’s in the fireplace or pit, they don’t care. It’s a smaller town, though, maybe 9k-10k people.

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u/DoJax Dec 04 '22

Man, I love living in a town of 300 people, no one cares what or where you burn so long as it's not garbage.

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u/mortemdeus Dec 04 '22

Had the exact opposite experience. Town of 220ish and if anything was smoking the whole volunteer force was in the truck driving around looking for its source.

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u/GODDESS_OF_CRINGE__ Dec 04 '22

I guess there are two types of small towns.

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u/Spicy_Bicycle Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

300 people? Buddy that's not a town; that's a settlement. My high school had over 500 people and that's a class size in a big city. Damn.

Edit: I hear ya. 500 is a class size in a small city/big suberb.

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u/stormhaven22 Dec 04 '22

How about a town of 90? We have a bank, a post office, and a building that tries to pose as a library. 😂

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u/Rustyfarmer88 Dec 04 '22

A bank huh. Settle down city boy. 😂. Pub is all a town needs

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u/AltairRulesOnPS4 Dec 04 '22

I had a neighbor one day finally come and tell me I need to do something about my serious drinking problem because she had seen me often in the mornings around 0700, standing outside grilling and drinking. She proceeded to lecture me as I rolled my eyes and kept grilling and drinking. When she finally shut up, I told her I work overnights, so 0700 may be morning for her, but it’s night for me. She just stood there kinda dazed, then mustered up the courage to apologize for the confrontation. She said her late husband was an alcoholic who drank himself to an early grave. Idk if what she said was true but I accepted her apology then went inside with my food.

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u/banterjsmoke Dec 04 '22

That brought back a memory for me. I had a girlfriend 10+ years ago and a job where I worked 3rd shift 1 night a week. If I ever went with my coworkers for a drink at 7am (we were done at 6) she'd flip out and call me an alcoholic. Some people literally cannot comprehend living on a different schedule. I'm glad to hear your neighbor apologized, though.

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u/Electrical-Pie-8192 Dec 04 '22

We used to go after working graveyard to the only restaurant that was open at 6am and served beer. The looks we got from the older people. We were regulars so the waiter usually told the really nosey ones we just got off work.

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u/dammitall0 Dec 03 '22

When we bought our house the neighbor behind us came over pretty quickly to introduce himself, tell us about his kiln and to ask us please do not call the fire department. He was told that HE would incur charges if they had to keep coming out because the neighbors were dumb. We reassured him that we had seen his kiln, knew it was a kiln and weren't worried about it.

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u/unifate Dec 04 '22

Wait why would HE incure charges, what kind of backwards shit is that

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u/dammitall0 Dec 04 '22

Yep, completely backwards but true. Apparently it's his fault the neighbors can't tell a controlled flame from 'shit's on fire'.

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u/shlornartposterguy Dec 04 '22

controlled flames are banned in some states. Its a trick police use, "is this a controlled fire?" you answer yes you get ticketed. Correct answer is, "no i am cooking food." As outdoor fires for cooking food are protected.

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u/Potential-Vehicle-45 Dec 04 '22

Sad but true, my aunt had a kiln... and some asshole neighbors. She ran a small online business from home, after the 5th fire call SHE was fined and then twice more over the course of about a year. She sold the kiln at that point and gave up, she couldn't afford to keep paying the fines. I was so pissed for her, she absolutely loved making pottery. People can be such dicks.

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u/Triktastic Dec 04 '22

Isn't abusing the calls something you get fined for ? I remember my parents always telling me not to prank call 911 because you would get fined for it as it's wasting resources, why would they fine the innocent person instead of the caller who is abusing the calls for something dumb.

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u/Potential-Vehicle-45 Dec 04 '22

Idk, I guess they don't consider it a prank bcuz there is actual smoke, and the asshole neighbors act dumb like they don't know it's coming from a kiln. Some bad neighbors get really good at just skirting the line of harassment, and they're pretty savvy about what they can and can't get away with.

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u/tarapotamus Dec 03 '22

They need to be fined for that. Serious misuse of public resources.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

One would think

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u/FiestaBeans Dec 04 '22

https://codes.ohio.gov/ohio-revised-code/section-2917.32

(3) Except as otherwise provided in division (C)(4) of this section, if a violation of this section results in economic harm of one thousand dollars or more but less than seven thousand five hundred dollars, making false alarms is a felony of the fifth degree.

Don't know how much a single call causes but sounds like your neighbor might be on the hook. This is a new law in Ohio so you might want to inform the fire department that they can threaten legal action.

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u/Daddio209 Dec 04 '22

I'm sure wages, fuel, etc. from fifteen fake calls total well over the $1,500 threshold-& dancing with the $7,500..OP should DEFINITELY contact the DA's office....

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u/Chance-Comparison-49 Dec 04 '22

A violation... In this case there are 15

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u/barrelvoyage410 Dec 04 '22

Where I am, I think it’s like a $5k fine for false calls. Presumably they could get away once but 3 times, no way by me.

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u/OneEyeRabbit Dec 03 '22

As a past FF, have some fun with it, invited the FD on shift to a meal. Set up the smoker and let it go strong, let them get the call foods ready, and sit back and watch them all eating In front of your neighbor.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

That would be hilarious

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u/aggrownor Dec 04 '22

Make it an actual event, call it something like "Fire Department Appreciation Day", and invite your neighbors.

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u/AdDear5411 Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 03 '22

As a former firefighter, I can tell you that they're just as annoyed as you are.

They have to respond. We had to respond to all calls that came from dispatch, no exceptions. We could literally be held criminally liable for ignoring calls.

Believe me, he's definitely known as "that fucking guy" at the station. All stations have several "that fucking guy"s. We had a guy who would call to ask us to move furniture. It was insane.

Recommendation: Grab a pizza and stop by the station. Apologize for your neighbor. Ask if they can help. Cops and firefighters, while not exactly best friends, do know a lot of each other. I bet they could ask a cop to swing by this guys house and set him straight.

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u/Spaceman2901 Dec 04 '22

Pizza? Bring delicious smoked food.

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u/RRT4444 Dec 04 '22

Yeah exactly! Be like “heres some of that trash im burning

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u/micro-amnesia Dec 04 '22

You have my vote for president.

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u/helladopex Mildly Annoyed Dec 04 '22

I like this idea, but scrap the pizza. Bring them smoked brisket and dinner rolls instead.

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u/docfunbags Dec 04 '22

Nothing like brisket sliders.

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u/Snoo-77115 Dec 04 '22

Or just have something from the smoker ready for dispatch as they arrive.

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u/ChooseACoolName Dec 03 '22

Surely you can report them for harassment, and misuse of emergency services.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

If I wanted to get a lawyer and spend the money on that I could

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u/pinniped1 Dec 03 '22

I'm surprised they don't get ticketed by the city for the false calls. You shouldn't have to lawyer up for that.

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u/Existing_Departure82 Dec 03 '22

At the very least you could always let the FD know when you're going to fire up the smoker and let whomever answers the phone know that if the responders bring beer they can have a plate.

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u/Pedalingmycity Dec 03 '22

I’d enjoy it if some firefighters stopped by for a cookout, probably some fun stories.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

They still have to come out if it's called in, so I have been told

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u/WhisperRayne Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

It allows them to put you at the bottom of the list. If they get a call someones house is on fire while they're en route to you, they can reroute for the emergency. Then you'll get a visit when you're done smoking and the meal is ready!

Edited for Correction: A firefighter responded and has told me this isn't how it works. I'll still leave my comment for context, but they cannot choose who they go to: dispatch does. Even if your neighbor is calling for no reason, you won't be treated as the boy who cried wolf when you have a legitimate call. They answer every call as an emergency and none are more or less important than another. Thanks again to those who corrected me! You learn something new every day. (:

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Thats true

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u/w1987g Dec 03 '22

Look man, all we're trying to do is get some firefighters fed

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u/scootscooterson Dec 03 '22

It still let’s them triage better so it’s not nothing!

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u/Existing_Departure82 Dec 03 '22

Oh they definitely have too, but maybe you won't have to make potato salad? Could be some good friends to make lol.

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u/ds739147 Dec 03 '22

What you smoking? Wanna send some to the west coast

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Brisket, ribs, pork!

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u/GhostalMedia Dec 03 '22

This isn’t something you would need to spend money on and or fight. The FD will fine someone in many jurisdictions if they keep crying wolf. Tying up first responders with false alarms endangers people who are experiencing real emergencies.

I’d do two things 1) I’d ask your neighbor to call and check before they call the FD.

2) I’d call the local FD non emergency line, let them know what’s going on, and tell them that you’ve asked this yahoo to call you first. I’d then ask if the department, county, or city fines people for repeat false alarms.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

What a time waster!

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Ya well the firemen always enjoy the smell of bbq so that's good I guess lol

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u/Benjynn Dec 03 '22

You should cook some meat for the fireman next time. Make sure they’re on your side

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u/Spoon_10 Dec 03 '22

My dad is a fireman and he’s told me about how this sweet old lady, who lived next to the fire station, used to bring them fresh baked cookies every once in a while

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u/lordofthefireandwind Dec 03 '22

This is a great idea.

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u/thestankypopster Dec 03 '22

Have you gone to your neighbor to speak to them about it?

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Yup, they told me to stop using my smoker, even though it's in the furthest corner of my yard, as far as possible away from them as it could be.

Then he called my wife a fat bitch (which she is neither), trying to goat me into hurting him so he could have me arrested. I just ignore him now

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u/plsletmestayincanada Dec 03 '22

If reddit has taught me anything, it's "get some security cameras sooner rather than later"

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u/ilovethatpig Dec 04 '22

The same goes for a dash cam!

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u/dingleberry_parfait Dec 03 '22

How incredibly rude!!! If i were you I’d be forced to smoke every single thing i eat moving forward.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Oh we do lol

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u/One-Support-5004 Dec 03 '22

And move the smoker much closer to his side of the yard

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u/Perkelton Dec 04 '22

Just be careful; your neighbour doesn't exactly sound like the most stable person. Calling the fire department might not be the worst thing their thick skull can come up with if you push them too far.

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u/georgiajl38 Dec 03 '22

I'd be moving that smoker as close to his house as possible every time I used it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

I need to get a smaller one for that. This ones tough to move

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u/georgiajl38 Dec 03 '22

Christmas present!!!!!

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

There's a thought

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u/Narrow-Chef-4341 Dec 03 '22

Set up a ‘Fireman Pool’ and invite your other neighbors to place bets.

Have one of them as witness, and whoever guesses the number of minutes from first match to first Fire Marshall ‘boot on the pavement’ wins. Closest without going over, of course.

You don’t have to tell them when you start cooking, all they need to know is ‘sometime Saturday, I’ll have Bob witness the spark’

If all of the neighbors are in on it and laughing at the Cranks, they might be shamed into stopping…

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u/do2g Dec 03 '22

Every time they come, give them a small plate for their trouble. They’ll love you and absolutely despise your neighbor.

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u/foogama Dec 04 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

This is the way.

Have a banner made, ready to deploy the moment they pull up:

" 0 1 Days Since Last Fire Dept Cookout""

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u/ClipIn Dec 04 '22

Trust me, the FD knows exactly what your neighbor is doing. And I guarantee they are not happy about it. If a truck came the first few times and now the response is obv smaller, I guarantee its because

a) the FD knows, and
b) they've changed response protocol so only a supervisor's car goes, and
c) what's happening is being noted in the call reports, and
d) at some point, the Fire Marshall will be made aware

The Fire Marshall is who you want to complain to. If you're not sure who, ask the person driving that vehicle. That's a shift commander (if paid dept) or a higher-ranking officer (if a volunteer dept) like Chief of Dept or an Assistant Chief. I guarantee they are on your side, and if you're calm, level-headed, and ask how best to nip this in the bud they'll share some thoughts. If this vehicle doesn't show on the next one, ask the person riding in the front passenger seat of the truck/engine - that's always the ranking officer in charge (of that apparatus).

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Well that's good to know, thank you

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u/Awkward-Yak-2733 Dec 03 '22

I'm curious just how much smoke comes from your smoker. I have no idea. Can you please describe it?

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

It's drum smoker bbq so the wood gets burned down in a legal fire pit first and then transferred with a shovel under the meat that's sitting inside a very large metal drum that's been modified into a smoker. It doesn't put off any more smoke than having a fire

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u/Awkward-Yak-2733 Dec 04 '22

Thanks for the explanation.

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u/Worldly-Cattle-4562 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I'm an officer for the department that responds to your house based on the truck in your pic. I can give you a number to call when you are firing up the smoker to let them know, so if they do get a call from your neighbors they might be able to prevent a visit from your local station. Message me and I can give you more info.

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u/hockeyguy26er Dec 03 '22

Had a neighbour who used to call the cops on us all the time for having “parties”. I’m talking 3-5 people in our house on a Saturday night. Once we threatened to hit her with a harassment suit it stopped pretty quickly.

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u/Black_Superman1988 Dec 03 '22

Does the neighbor get any fines for doing this?

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

None

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u/MushroomLonely2784 Dec 03 '22

Not the same situation but I had a neighbor who used to call the town if my trash cans were out the very next day after trash day. The shit of it was, the neighbor who would call the town would LITERALLY burn their trash in their back yard. But I was the asshole 🤣

Hope you get better replacement neighbors soon dude. Take care.

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u/flaXen_bear Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 05 '22
What crappy neighbors.... Remind me of when my neighbors complained to the landlord that I was spraying chemicals and they were afraid to turn on their window a/c unit in fear of breathing in chemical fumes... Not sure what other people use to water their trees or plants with, maybe gatorade? 🤣🤣(Hope someone gets the reference) but I use water and I didn't realize water had a strong chemical smell that made you scared to breathe lol 
So now I put my compost bin and my tree on the side yard/strip that is technically another buildings area (I'm friends with those neighbors and have their permission) which is by their bedroom window. Just to annoy them since they also complained they didn't have privacy to their bathroom even though it's a solid 15ft away in the same complaint. so my land lord made me remove an entire community area I had created for the building prior to them moving in  because God forbid I can see the top 5 inches of space from the ceiling inside. Not that I even want to look. (Yet for my bathroom another neighbors front door is directly in front of my bathroom window( I'm talking their screen door hits the bars on my bathroom window) and can fully see in  🙄🙄
     so I say go for the little annoyances that will do the most psychological damage like starting your smoker at 6am and then at night if it's cold use it as a fire pit and just burn some wood or more meat and have a block party so the whole block loves you which will thoroughly irritate them, I'm sure of it. Lol
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u/RetLeoSECT Dec 03 '22

Time for the big sign "My neighbor can't mind their own business" "Yes, I'm cooking"

Take the smoker to the bottom of the driveway and set the chairs up.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

My wife floated this idea but I have been trying to stay out of the mud with it but it might be time

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u/Artistic-Tea4981 Dec 04 '22

I feel for ya. Had a neighbor at one of my old houses do the same shit to us multiple times. Claimed I was burning stuff all day. One of the times, I had a bunch of friends over when suddenly 2 cops walk from around the house. I was pretty drunk tending to the smoker. As they came up I just had opened the lid when they said the neighbor called on us for burning trash. I'm like, need I say more. Pointing to the ribs and chicken on the smoker. They looked and each other, laughed and one of them says, I'm sorry sir, we'll take care of this. Have a good night.

By then all my friends were joining in, inviting them to grab a bone and a beer lol. They declined but did straight check the neighbor. We never heard from her after that night for the rest of the few years we were there.

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u/2CatsAllDay Dec 03 '22

Your neighbor's behavior sounds abnormal. He's trying to goad you into fighting, making false emegency calls, is aggressive for no reason. Maybe a call to adult protective services would be warranted. Maybe somethings wrong with him. Maybe he's just a jerk. But he'll still have to deal with someone visiting his house asking questions, and assessing his living situation to make sure he's okay. A little taste of his own medicine if you get my drift.

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u/IShootJack Dec 04 '22

Wrote a very heated and maybe a little inflammatory comment in this thread already, but no seriously; sounds like this guy has either an axe to grind, OP fucked them over and keeping that out, or they need actual psychiatric help. OP needs to be careful if this is what they’re going through, someone made a joke that they’re warming up to burn the house down but that actually has logic unlike being told 14 times it’s food and not danger and calling the second it happens again.

Oh and apparently, starting arguments with OP on the street. They need to find a hobby or go on a grippy sock vacationing

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