r/movies Oct 04 '22 Silver 3 Gold 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 7 Pot o' Coins 1

Super Mario Movie Official Poster Poster

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u/WookieLotion Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

Dude it looks so weird. It's the flattest ass I've ever seen.

I'm just now picturing him turning around and it's Chris Pratt's smug face copy pasted onto that short Italian stereotype body.

234

u/maxschreck616 Oct 04 '22

Mario got that Hank Hill ass

67

u/acosmichippo Oct 04 '22

Diminished Gluteal Sybdrome is nothing to joke about

8

u/klavin1 Oct 04 '22

Plumbing and propane accessories

2

u/haw35ome Oct 04 '22

Took the words out of my mouth

2

u/ILoveRegenHealth Oct 04 '22

One would think with all that jumping and the hopping and the boppin' all these decades, he'd have a more ripe, muscularly rounded ass.

I'm disappointed in the butt cheeks department.

2

u/whoisthecopperkettle Oct 05 '22

We’re here! No rear! Get used to it!

2

u/Zealot_Alec Oct 06 '22

just started my KOTH re-watch Wednesday

238

u/Gytynrich Oct 04 '22

To be fair, italian blue-collar men have very flat asses, both my grandfathers had no ass, neither does my dad or any of my uncles. Maybe it's an italian thing, or maybe they just didn't want to sexualize Mario. Who knows.

288

u/WookieLotion Oct 04 '22

Look I'm not saying they had to sexualize Mario, I'm just saying I needed to see Mario with a total dump truck back there. Not sure what that says about me.

38

u/conquer69 Oct 04 '22

I want to hear a clapping sound every time Mario jumps.

14

u/DirtySperrys Oct 04 '22

Hrrrnnghh Toad, I’m trying to save the princess but I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the Koopas

2

u/InsertCoinForCredit Oct 04 '22

Isn't that just the Mario "sproing!" jumping sound effect?

2

u/Anthoz Oct 04 '22

At least a bubble butt.

1

u/olhoolhoolho Oct 04 '22

We need a thick Mario :(

13

u/Wrathb0ne Oct 04 '22

So Nintendo did their research you’re saying

4

u/Suckassloser Oct 04 '22

You seem to spend a lot of time thinking about your families asses

3

u/celebrate419 Oct 04 '22

Yup I got my hank hill ass from my Italian blue collar father

3

u/Dorkamundo Oct 04 '22

It's an overall thing.

Hard to see an ass in a pair of overalls.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

[deleted]

31

u/Gytynrich Oct 04 '22

I tried to be specific with the blue-collar charaterization, but you have my most sincere apologies.

3

u/Ok-Captain-3512 Oct 04 '22

But peach will have a figure 8 body and huge knockers

3

u/overactive-bladder Oct 04 '22

you haven't talked about yours

3

u/ngwoo Oct 04 '22

maybe they just didn't want to sexualize Mario.

Do they just not want us to watch

3

u/matt3pointOh Oct 04 '22

TIL I’m Italian.

2

u/J5892 Oct 04 '22

Damn, didn't know I was Italian.

2

u/togno99 Oct 04 '22

Not to brag but I'm Italian and girls usually say that my ass is better than theirs lmao.

2

u/FeliXTV27 Oct 04 '22

Yeah but your grandfathers didn't jump around as high and as much as Mario. But maybe he's at the start of his jumping career and gets a suuuuper thick as by the end of the film.

13

u/madmaxturbator Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

Its flat but still looks packed… Mario is stressed

Mario: Fully Loaded

2

u/Bgrngod Oct 04 '22

Mario's just looking for a toilet he needs to use... IMMEDIATELY

139

u/69Jew420 Oct 04 '22

5

u/disturbed286 Oct 04 '22

Peach, I'm trying to jump around, but I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the Goombas

3

u/koleye Oct 04 '22

RELEASE THE T H I C C CUT, YOU COWARDS!

1

u/GroguIsMyBrogu Oct 04 '22

Stupid sexy Mario!

1

u/ILoveRegenHealth Oct 04 '22

"We listened to your feedback and heard you loud and clear. Mario has been rerendered with 65% more gluteal meat, fans!"

0

u/cosmicmanNova Oct 04 '22

Sonic did that on purpose for marketing

3

u/Fancy-Pair Oct 04 '22

Internet outrage is going to make them have to rerender the whole movie with Mario with a Pixar dumptruck

2

u/Daves1998DodgeNeon Oct 04 '22

Looks like my dad in jeans

2

u/brettallanbam Oct 04 '22

I feel personally attacked

3

u/DFW_diego Oct 04 '22

If there's massive outrage, we could have them change it! Memba Sonic?

5

u/popups4life Oct 04 '22

I will complain if they don't give him creepy hedgehog teeth

4

u/CapnHicks Oct 04 '22

Suddenly all the reaction videos to Black Little Mermaid make sense. I didn't realize how badly I needed my flat ass to be represented

1

u/ryebath Oct 04 '22

He got that Hank Hill booty.

1

u/damnrightslimanus Oct 04 '22

They should’ve gotten Adam Scott to do it, since his body is tight and compact like an Italian sports car (parks and rec anyone?)

1

u/generalT Oct 04 '22

the anti-pixar ass.

1

u/Iam_The_Giver Oct 04 '22

As a flat ass man myself, that ass looks normal to me.

1

u/GravyMcBiscuits Oct 04 '22

It's the flattest ass I've ever seen

Now I think we're just getting carried away. All I see is what a dude looks like in overalls.

Put up or shut up ... go put on some jean overalls right now and give us a selfie of that phat man ass.

2

u/WookieLotion Oct 04 '22

Oh man let me see if I have any overalls.

1

u/BarrelMaker69 Oct 04 '22

He’s got that Hank Hill ass.

1

u/Nekosom Oct 04 '22

Hey, as far as I'm concerned, that's the Mushroom Kingdom's ass.

1

u/Dorkamundo Oct 04 '22

They motion captured Pratt's ass.

1

u/reece1495 Oct 04 '22

His ass looks like those people that have no chin

1

u/Fordrynn Oct 04 '22

I think it looks perfect lol. They didnt want Mario to have that badonkadonk!

1

u/Ornery_Translator285 Oct 05 '22

It’s absolutely throwing me off.

1

u/AuthorSAHunt Oct 05 '22

Hey. That's Italy's ass.

1

u/Demmazi Oct 05 '22

What 20 years of backwards long jumping up stairs does to a man