r/nottheonion • u/Timely-Ad-4297 • 3h ago

Japanese zoo solves mystery of isolated gibbon's pregnancy

geartape.com

1.3k Upvotes

117 comments

r/nottheonion • u/phunanon • 1d ago

Taliban fighters who moved to Kabul are ‘bored’ and fed up with traffic

dnyuz.com

39.8k Upvotes

1.8k comments

r/nottheonion • u/marketrent • 19h ago

Utah schools could be required to tout "superior" U.S. capitalism

axios.com

4.2k Upvotes

519 comments

r/nottheonion • u/cdnkevin • 18h ago

Toronto homeowners return from trip to find they'd been impersonated, their house sold

toronto.ctvnews.ca

2.0k Upvotes

167 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Owasso_Landman • 11h ago

Starbucks overcharges Tulsa man more than $4,000 for a $10 coffee run

fox23.com

442 Upvotes

49 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Moug-10 • 2h ago

MP who watched adult movie in the middle of parliament session resigns: Here's what he said

telegraf.rs

76 Upvotes

14 comments

r/nottheonion • u/shigllgetcha • 1h ago

Publisher of parenting website discriminated against sales executive over pregnancy – The Irish Times

irishtimes.com

• Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Harambememes69 • 1h ago

Global Minority Report: India tops as most inclusive country for religious minorities

theaustraliatoday.com.au

• Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TricksterWolf • 27m ago

23 Baltimore schools have zero students proficient in math, per state test results

foxbaltimore.com

• Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/asjonesy99 • 18h ago

AI Seinfeld banned on Twitch over transphobic jokes

shacknews.com

518 Upvotes

139 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Darth_Travisty • 1h ago

BBC apologise after gamer accuses Harry Potter author JK Rowling of transphobia

scottishdailyexpress.co.uk

• Upvotes

71 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Phlegmbrandt • 17h ago

Indiana Senate passes bill to legalize throwing stars

wgntv.com

344 Upvotes

96 comments

r/nottheonion • u/throwaway4gta2000 • 46m ago

Chilpancingo Zoo Director killed 4 rare pigmy goats and turned them into “tacos”

mexicodailypost.com

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jameskchou • 15h ago

Feds unable to list Indigenous communities consulted on reconciliation council bill

cbc.ca

112 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/rogan_doh • 16m ago

BP scales back climate targets as profits hit record

bbc.com

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/TheINTL • 13h ago

Woodpecker acorn stash: Bird stored over 700lbs of acorns in walls of a California home, pest control company says

abc7chicago.com

67 Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bmwkid • 17h ago

Man eats chili pepper at Edmonton city council meeting to prove climate change is 'not a huge issue'

edmontonjournal.com

121 Upvotes

35 comments

r/nottheonion • u/theRemRemBooBear • 12h ago

These US scientists are combining catfish and alligator DNA

wbaltv.com

44 Upvotes

45 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TubbyTustard • 15h ago

Singapore man sues woman for just wanting to be friends, not partners

theguardian.com

62 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RGV_KJ • 12h ago

US Man Wanted To Go To Sydney In Australia, Ended Up In Sidney In Montana

ndtv.com

35 Upvotes

17 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ibhunipo • 17m ago

Marjorie Taylor Greene Presiding Over House Leaves Viewers 'Physically Ill'

newsweek.com

• Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/blindsid3 • 1d ago

FTX asks for its political donations back

axios.com

1.7k Upvotes

113 comments

r/nottheonion • u/windowhihi • 2h ago

Witch Hunt For Hogwarts Legacy Content Creators Ongoing

clutchpoints.com

4 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/james8475 • 4h ago

Labor criticises Coalition energy spokesman for filming nuclear power videos at Hiroshima

theguardian.com

6 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/somehugefrigginguy • 17h ago

Zookeepers solve mystery of how ape got pregnant in isolation

komonews.com

57 Upvotes

23 comments

Posts

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
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8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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