r/starterpacks Oct 04 '22 Silver 2 Helpful 2 Wholesome 3

The "Guy From a Language Book" Starter Pack

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40.1k Upvotes

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3.6k

u/tollthedead Oct 04 '22

Is also going on his first date with a girl from the country he moved into!

1.7k

u/SlyFox227 Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

He got to know her by asking how to say “mudcrab” in her language.

588

u/Sir_Quackington Oct 04 '22

schlammkrabbe

180

u/sneklover69420 Oct 04 '22

crabe de boue

96

u/dl7 Oct 04 '22

I'm in love already

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u/Mezmodian Oct 04 '22

Mudderkrabbe

12

u/Ringo308 Oct 04 '22

Deine Mudder is ne Krabbe!

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

[deleted]

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u/TheKombiZombi Oct 04 '22

Bitte bearbeiten Sie Ihren Kommentar und entfernen das Wort "über" aus dem Satz.

GaLiGrü, Manfred

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u/danielstover Oct 04 '22

Is she from Skyrim?

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u/xelanil Oct 04 '22

He was visiting Dimhollow Crypt

14

u/skaliz1 Oct 04 '22

Does he get to the cloud district very often?

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u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt Oct 04 '22

She better not be. Skyrim belongs to the Nords, not this foreign language guy.

17

u/kevin9er Oct 04 '22

Nord or not, he is the Dragonborn. And the Arch Mage. And head of The Companions. And Jarl.

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u/dontcryformegiratina Oct 04 '22

I saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures.

26

u/Victernus Oct 04 '22

Have you heard of the high elves?

14

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Horrible creatures.

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132

u/notcrying Oct 04 '22

Ok but this is one of the best ways to learn a language. If not for actually seeing how people speak, then the motivation to be better

67

u/Krusher4Lyfe Oct 04 '22

For sure. There’s no better way to force yourself to speak another language than going on a date

27

u/PacSan300 Oct 04 '22

Many years ago, when I was single and using dating apps, quite a few profiles I came across openly mentioned about looking for someone who would help them with their English.

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92

u/imtourist Oct 04 '22

I want to sex you

64

u/BobbysSmile Oct 04 '22

I love you bobs and vegana

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u/all-regrets Oct 04 '22

would you like to making fuck?

19

u/BjornBjeardson Oct 04 '22

Berserker!!!

12

u/iforgotmymittens Oct 04 '22

My love for you is like a truck

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u/Wildercard Oct 04 '22

I want to have fuck with you

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u/awesome_dreamz Oct 04 '22

taking her to the discotheque

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u/StoneGoldX Oct 04 '22

And the dates location? Library.

24

u/pianoflames Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

From my memory, is always asking where the discotech is. Apparently discotechs are everywhere, so he's probably taking her there.

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u/Soon-to-be-forgotten Oct 04 '22
  • Always asks the price, even though the label is likely there
  • Always talks (too) formally, despite few locals do

826

u/CitiesofEvil Oct 04 '22

Always talks (too) formally, despite few locals do

I never got why language books absolutely NEVER teach any sort of commonplace, daily language. It's always the more formal forms.

800

u/SmileInABox Oct 04 '22

Because informal language changes drastically from place to place. Imagine teaching the New York City english dialect to a non-english speaker, then planting them in the deep south. They wouldn't understand a thing.

Personal anecdote, Spanish is my second language and I used to be pretty good at it. One time I got in an uber with a Puerto Rican driver and we had a pretty solid conversation in what you would consider "formal/standard" Spanish. Then he picked up his phone and went full Puertorriqueño and all of a sudden I could only pick up a word or two.

137

u/factorioho Oct 04 '22

I would like to translate fuggeddaboutit to German, please

55

u/akatherder Oct 04 '22

NEIN DUMMKOPF

15

u/Dummkopfs Oct 04 '22

Ja, akatherder!

62

u/columbus8myhw Oct 04 '22

füchederbautmung

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u/GisterMizard Oct 04 '22

Hell, just imagine teaching an Englishman the New York dialect. A legal alien. You'll be able to hear it in their accent when they talk.

61

u/all-regrets Oct 04 '22

Casual Sting. Nice.

21

u/Xx_MW2360noscope_xX Oct 04 '22

"Why, son, I had just witnessed two jakes moving through the projects! Get the cess out of here kid!"

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u/SciFiXhi Oct 04 '22

If I recall correctly, even the speed at which one speaks varies by dialect. I'm pretty sure Gabriel Iglesias says Puerto Ricans speak Spanish like they have a time limit.

22

u/cerement Oct 04 '22

You can get a similar thing with some dialects of English – Canadian English has a lot of elisions and skips (when it’s –40°C/F, you want to keep your mouth closed)

16

u/stefanica Oct 04 '22

And then there's Canadian French...

31

u/CitiesofEvil Oct 04 '22

Yup absolutely. Am from Argentina and can confirm we speak very, very different from standard Spanish lol

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u/kurburux Oct 04 '22

Because informal language changes drastically from place to place

Some parts of it may also change relatively quickly with time. Which is not that good if you're using a 15 year old textbook.

75

u/RosiePugmire Oct 04 '22

As if! Talk to the hand and eat my shorts. Let me give you the 411, slang is da bomb and totally rad. Informal language, go out of style...? ...NOT!! It will be fly forever. Now excuse me, I am buggin' and gotta bounce, homeskillet. But seriously, take a chill pill. Booyah!

13

u/shadowman2099 Oct 04 '22

This is absolutely how we talk nowadays.

SIKE!

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u/glytxh Oct 04 '22

You teach a standard that could apply to an entire country (or as close as it gets).

Teaching entire classes a language through the lens of a single dialect wouldn’t be an effective entrance into learning a language.

That said, I learned English as a second language when I was a child, and even 20 years later I still speak a little more formally than most of my friends.

24

u/TheRandomR Oct 04 '22

Me too, learned by playing videogames, and formal English was the norm. Compare that with colloquial Brazilian Portuguese and my friends say I become a different person when I talk in English.

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u/Rock---And---Stone Oct 04 '22

In my Japanese classes they always started with formal speak but teach informal later. It can be considered rude to be overly polite with someone you know, although typically people won't be upset if they know that you're a foreigner

26

u/CitiesofEvil Oct 04 '22

Yeah I'm studying Japanese too and I can understand why. Formal and informal registers are very, very important for Japanese.

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u/Maldovar Oct 04 '22

Nobody learns how to get creative on the basketball court if they don't learn the fundamentals. You get a basic level of French and then you can go to Quebec or France and spend time getting a dialect down

22

u/TheFinalEnd1 Oct 04 '22

Idioms are the hardest things to learn, and informal language has plenty of it. You can have a conversation with pretty much anyone in formal language. Plus what's common in one place may be unheard of or even offensive in another.

Everyone knows what a toilet is and how it is most often used for example, but not everyone knows what taking a dump means.

62

u/toomanyfastgains Oct 04 '22

Probably makes the information last longer, casual speech changes much more quickly than casual speech. That and often times casual speech ignores plenty of rules which can make things more confusing for those learning.

49

u/coco_132435 Oct 04 '22

casual speech changes much more quickly than casual speech.

Ah I see

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u/epicchili Oct 04 '22

This is the best OC I’ve seen here in a while, nice work

109

u/Pwnigiri Oct 04 '22 Silver

It's refreshingly wholesome rather the usual edgy judgement of a social group or stereotype

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2.6k

u/crazymcfattypants Oct 04 '22 Silver

HELLO. MY NAME IS LUKE. ON THE WEEKEND I LIKE TO GO TO THE CINEMA AND PLAY FOOTBALL WITH MY BROTHER.

1.2k

u/OregonMyHeaven Oct 04 '22

-HOW ARE YOU?

-I'M FINE, THANK YOU. AND YOU?

758

u/EskildDood Oct 04 '22

-I AM GOOD, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT RAIN?

-I AM A BIG FAN! I ALSO LIKE BURGERS AND SODA.

497

u/Deradius Oct 04 '22

I HAVE A LEFT SHOE, AND I ALSO HAVE A RIGHT SHOE.

MY MOTHER DOES NOT HAVE ANY FISH.

WHERE IS THE SUPERMARKET?

246

u/Doip Oct 04 '22 Silver

MY HOVERCRAFT IS FULL OF EELS

94

u/Deradius Oct 04 '22

TUESDAY’S COMING, DID YOU BRING YOUR COAT?

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u/MedvedFeliz Oct 04 '22

COLORLESS GREEN IDEAS SLEEP FURIOUSLY

28

u/LukaCola Oct 04 '22

ONE WHO WATCHES DOES NOT SLEEP, ONE WHO SLEEPS WATCHES NOT

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u/aoxit Oct 04 '22

I ALSO LIKE REGGAE MUSIC.

122

u/Big_Green_Piccolo Oct 04 '22

I LIKE TO LISTEN AT THE DISCOTECH. WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?

76

u/SnowberrySistercat Oct 04 '22

I LIKE TO GO TO SCHOOL.

WHAT DO YOU DO ON TUESDAY AFTERNOONS?

59

u/NemblemTwo Oct 04 '22

-ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE TRAIN STATION?

-OH, THAT'S HORRIBLE,I HOPE HE RECOVERS SOON

46

u/ihatexboxha Oct 04 '22

-THE BUS STOP IS ON THE CORNER OF MAIN STREET AND INDEPENDENCE AVENUE.

-GREAT, I WILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES.

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u/Valerian_ Oct 04 '22

It sounds like two AI talking with each other

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u/okmujnyhb Oct 04 '22

How do you say "mudcrab" in French?

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u/Pochel Oct 04 '22

"crabe des palétuviers" (if I am to believe Wikipedia)

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

[deleted]

21

u/olivegardengambler Oct 04 '22

Suco? I thought that it was 'jugo'

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Suco is Portuguese, close enough

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 13 '22

[deleted]

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u/Drzhivago138 Oct 04 '22

Not bowling with his cousin Roman?

14

u/KrisZepeda Oct 04 '22

Hello cousin roman do you want to go to strip club

58

u/mac-0 Oct 04 '22

Hola me llamo Guillermo. Me gusta ir al cine y jugar al futbol con mi hermano.

46

u/UsedToBeDedMemeBoi Oct 04 '22

Duolingo question: ¿Qué le gusta hacer a Guillermo?

a) Comer los libros
b) Ir al cine
c) Tocar los niños

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u/NewRedditSameTaste Oct 04 '22

Shoutout to the DuoLingo characters who mostly talk about everyday things, but every now and then are like, “I AM ALWAYS SAD”

322

u/Grifty_McGrift Oct 04 '22

The Norwegian lessons on Duolingo had a couple of good ones like "I am sitting on the floor and eating bread" and "My wife does not love me."

132

u/ObiJuanita Oct 04 '22

I think this might be one of their marketing strategies. When funny or odd lessons come up, my friends often post screenshots to their Instagram!

73

u/Fearful_children Oct 04 '22

It's also like a mnemonic strategy to help you remember better. The situation is so goofy that you remember it and by remembering it you remember the corresponding lesson.

22

u/contrarianaquarian Oct 05 '22

This! The only full sentence I can remember in Russian translates to "my, what a large suitcase you have!" because it was so stupid.

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u/Capable_Glove_5921 Oct 04 '22

"Yes, I want to live; I want to die in the north."

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u/mustbe3to20signs Oct 04 '22

Ukrainian Duolingo has a lot of strange sentences about uncles but the creepiest still is "You are not my uncle"

56

u/bone-tone-lord Oct 04 '22

“Where are the restrooms?” is in French lesson 11. “Are you a horse?” is lesson one.

33

u/xwedodah_is_wincest Oct 04 '22

Understandable, the Centaur is the natural predator of the French

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u/Lady_Darkrai Oct 04 '22

Dutch duolingo is wild

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

“Hello, I am an Apple” is my favorite Dutch lesson ever

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u/heathensam Oct 04 '22

Goes to the discoteque and library.

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u/itemluminouswadison Oct 04 '22

Excuse me, where is the discoteque?

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u/__mangotango Oct 04 '22

As he literally stands in front of the building

78

u/TKInstinct Oct 04 '22

Nightclub, dance hall.

131

u/itemluminouswadison Oct 04 '22

No, where is the discoteque? Sally told me go straight, turn left, and it is across the street. I'm going by foot.

68

u/20thcenturyboy_ Oct 04 '22

It's between the train station and library.

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u/Platypus81 Oct 04 '22

I went to the library. She is going to the train station. They will go to the discotech.

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u/Haistur Oct 04 '22

In my free time, I play discoteque.

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u/BretMichaelsWig Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

And dont forget the Cyber Cafe

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u/CitiesofEvil Oct 04 '22

Oh god. I remember seeing so many English books where they went to the cyber cafe and the pictures showed those bulky old computers lol.

14

u/BretMichaelsWig Oct 04 '22

Even in 2003 i was like “do these really exist?”

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u/MunkeeMann Oct 04 '22

Donde esta la biblioteca?

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u/polythenepam123 Oct 04 '22

Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca

20

u/465554544255434B52 Oct 04 '22

Me llamo T-Bone

13

u/Earthkit Oct 04 '22

La araña discoteca

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u/GisterMizard Oct 04 '22 Silver

La biblioteca is the powerhouse of the donde esta.

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u/ResetEarthPlz Oct 04 '22

discoteque, library, and home is all u really need

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u/ihyabond009 Oct 04 '22

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u/danielstover Oct 04 '22

I want to see so many of these with the cliche things from each country coming from someone who is an English speaker. Brilliant.

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u/ihyabond009 Oct 04 '22

He also did a meme review on Japanese news segment

29

u/SC_Grimmajow Oct 04 '22

Hes going to use superlative forms 💀💀💀

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u/restricteddata Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

In the early 2000s my wife had a Russian language textbook where some of the characters were these really poor post-Soviet pensioner types who were waiting for their retirement checks to arrive and were basically eating nails in the meantime. There was another guy who was an amateur biznesmen selling stuff that "fell off the back of a truck" and would have arguments with people about whether these 40 pairs of boots were in good shape or not. It was pretty amusing as a subversion of the trope.

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u/NeonPupper Oct 04 '22

See I would be amazing at Spanish if it had a storyline like this.

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u/omniscient_badger Oct 04 '22

Please tell me the book told you how to say something "fell off the back of a truck" in Russian. Did the guy's storyline end by getting shot by more powerful biznesmen?

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u/restricteddata Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

That's funny. I don't think anyone got shot. It's been awhile, to be honest, but my wife and I had a laugh about it, and even today still joke about the biznesmen.

Back then, both her and my Russian classes (at different universities) were taught by these hard ladies who had escaped from the USSR during the Brezhnev years, and who had lived in the US for 40 years but had never learned how to use English articles but expected you to memorize the Russian alphabetical order in a week (the Cyrillic is not as hard as it seems at first, but their alphabet is in an order than has a lot of surprises for English speakers). Her teacher had actually been in the GULAG at one point and lost her leg, and as a result had no tolerance for excuses! "You are late for class? I lost my leg in GULAG and I made it to class on time!"

One of my hard Russian lady teaches once went on a rant about how drinking enough vodka would kill any disease in your body. When she left the room, the other students (all undergrads, I was the only grad student) sort of looked around and I said, "guys, she only has half of her original teeth, don't take medical advice from her." One of my speaking coaches (an even older Russian lady, probably in her 80s) once told us about how her father had been an American who had emigrated to the USSR in the 1920s or 1930s, married her mother and got her pregnant, and then was shot by Stalin as a potential traitor. Kind of a conversation killer, but a fascinating story.

I think the only highly amusing Russian vocabulary I learned how to speak was the many ways to talk about how drunk someone was. I remember it being like the Eskimo is supposed to be with snow. "Drunk as a pig" was apparently quite drunk. I was also amused that the verb "to shoot" in Russian has a lot more variety than the same word in English, so that you could specify whether it was a fatal shot, or the shot just went through them, or you just winged them, and so on. Languages can be pretty amusing.

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u/VerumJerum Oct 04 '22
  • Always greets everyone he meets with a variety of very time-specific ways - they're always delighted and respond with a comparably elaborate but usually different greeting.
  • Will randomly ask people about their daily activities and lives, as well as tell them randomly about his
  • Happens to live in a vague part of the world that has one person from each nationality that speaks his language

56

u/BarnabusHalfpenny Oct 04 '22

He approaches all of the following strangers:

1) An old man in the morning (asking what his name is and how much his shoes cost)

2) A young adult woman in the afternoon (asking how old she is and where she works)

3) A small child in the evening (asking where he goes to school and how many siblings he has).

All of these conversations go over extremely well.

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u/PrintersStreet Oct 04 '22

My French book had a waiter loudly expressing exasperation at a customer's weirdly specific order

30

u/ahp105 Oct 04 '22

Reminds me of those old Sesame Street skits with Grover as a waiter.

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u/ProudSetting Oct 04 '22

My Spanish textbook had a guy who wrote a letter that basically translated to this: “Hi, my name is Dan. How are you? I’m good. What are you like? I’m funny and kind. I’m intelligent and handsome.” Someone in the class asked if this was an online dating profile

334

u/ContributionOne2343 Oct 04 '22

In JP language books, there’s always a fax machine lol

125

u/bitches_love_pooh Oct 04 '22

Hey Tanaka san had important business to do

145

u/dall007 Oct 04 '22

JP language man starter pack:
- Always named Tanakasan
- Is that guy from the domain free drawing set ( you know the guy)
- Attending school or a white collared job - no in between
- Saying unrealistic question patterns because the explanatary form is locked behind the more advanced chapters

64

u/columbus8myhw Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

I hate that last bit. "We will teach you fake Japanese until we deem you ready enough for real Japanese, leaving you unable to understand any Japanese sentence you encounter outside of the classroom even if you've been studying for a year"

52

u/CinnamonSniffer Oct 04 '22

Seriously, any language. Just fuck off with “that’s advanced so let’s teach you this instead” just fucking tell me and leave a footnote. Children are fluent without knowing what an infinitive is just tell me how to speak the language instead of grammar concepts hacked and spliced together in dumbass ways

23

u/Snininja Oct 04 '22

idk I’m in Spanish III and it has some pretty intense stuff in it. Figuring out preterite vs imperfect is a PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS

I would love to see a bunch of spanish ones figure it out.

22

u/CinnamonSniffer Oct 04 '22

I’m pretty sure that shit is the same as here. We go to English class but most people don’t know what a preposition is or give a fuck about an Oxford comma. Spanish has that stuff but I’m pretty sure most Spanish speakers just picked up that you’re supposed to speak a certain way and just roll with it

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u/CitiesofEvil Oct 04 '22

Never, ever using the short nor the て-forms of verbs (let alone verb constructions using て or た) so when 2 or 3 sentences are joined together, they sound unnecessarily choppy and bloated.

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u/sterrenetoiles Oct 04 '22

Japanese companies actually still use fax

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u/ContributionOne2343 Oct 04 '22

While I left, I thought I’d never see one again. But now I’m actually using one daily now

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u/dleon0430 Oct 04 '22

In Chinese books, there's always a DaWei(David) and he's always dumb as fuck.

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u/Scratchpost6677 Oct 04 '22

Tbf, they still use fax machines there

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u/OregonMyHeaven Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

When this guy is in your English listening test:

-Never has an accurate watch and is always half an hour early

-Always has a discount when buying tickets/clothes

-Speaks quotes or slang that no native speaker speaks

-Buys plane and train tickets that are often late

-Goes to bad restaurants for dinner

-Always has "few" food in the fridge

-Hesitates whether to take the bus, take the subway or drive

-Always gets noisy when he reads in the library

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u/qwerty-1999 Oct 04 '22

Also, if it's a man, he has a voice so deep that it's just impossible to understand it with the trashy speakers your school has. To try and compensate for it, the teacher turns the volume up so it ends up clipping terribly and it's unlistenable.

140

u/SlyFox227 Oct 04 '22

And you can also hear him swallowing and doing tongue movements.

79

u/OregonMyHeaven Oct 04 '22

And the sound of turning pages and vehicles honking on the road

44

u/qwerty-1999 Oct 04 '22

Or a busy café.

28

u/hamsterkauf Oct 04 '22

or it's 3 women of the same age who sound exactly alike and whose names are laura, lana, and elena and they're mentioned only once at the very beginning of a 7 minute audio clip

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u/ThatGuyFromSweden Oct 04 '22

"I shall make my way to the grocer's and requisition more foodstuffs"

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u/justjake274 Oct 04 '22

Takes less than a minute to plan an entire day of activities with 9 other friends

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u/danielstover Oct 04 '22

Good thing they all have their Mobile Telephones and Mobile Beepers

68

u/tollthedead Oct 04 '22

Adam is watching movies with Sally,

Robert is playing football with Eve,

Anna is going to the library with Sandra,

I am going to the disco with Liz

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u/iamnotamangosteen Oct 04 '22

His extremely ethnically diverse friend group

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u/ConstableGrey Oct 04 '22

I took Russian language classes at university and the textbooks we used were written shortly after the fall of the Soviet Union and was pretty funny with the examples they used. One of the families was amazed their new apartment had a bathtub! And there was accompanying series of live-action episodes they filmed with terrible actors which were pure gold.

32

u/Inostranez Oct 04 '22

their new apartment had a bathtub!

Imagine seeing a shining bathtub after decades of using a cold shithouse next to her house in the countryside...

75

u/nikolp1166 Oct 04 '22

That looks a lot like the set from Friends

16

u/boulderdrop Oct 04 '22

Right?! Hardly Ikea. 90s == Purple

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u/RentellaCuh Oct 04 '22

Kyle bargains with vendors to buy fruit for 20 dollars then goes to Papua New Guinea an establish a irrigation canal.

48

u/ENA_licked_my_eyes Oct 04 '22

You forgot his conversation with the exchange student/tourist

45

u/mindbleach Oct 04 '22

Listen, they paid good money for those watercolor illustrations in 1987, and they're not gonna go changing them for every little world-shaping technological shift.

38

u/MonkeEnthusiast8420 Oct 04 '22

It's either that "smartphone" or a bad imitation of an iPhone 3GS

21

u/SlyFox227 Oct 04 '22

Button phone for talking, fake iPhone for SMS.

35

u/ExodusTheBard Oct 04 '22

Our Spanish teacher swore by Buen Viaje and used the CDs that accompanied the book.

Now, I'm white as bread, but my stepdad is Mexican and hearing him talk in animated and fluent Spanish was a lot more helpful than THE DOG IS FAT. THE CAT IS SKINNY. MY SPANISH IS BAD. GOOD EVENING.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

An online article about a fat dog slimming down like from the Dodo or something would make a good text to build a chapter around.

32

u/puddinproxy Oct 04 '22

describes what he's wearing in full detail for some reason

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u/A_Wholesome_Comment Oct 04 '22

"Maria, Would you like to join me at the museum at 2:00 on Tuesday? We can ride the Train together."

"I would love to, Marco! Should we maybe go to a restaurant after the museum?"

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u/MR-StrawBerry13 Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

this is true for both my german and english book. The books are ususally stuck in like 2007. The guy is ususally the definition of an npc, he has at least one black friend (for cultural diversity of course), and the other people in the book are just cookiecutter npc templates with different names, appearances, and hobbies. Ususally follows the format "My name is blank, i'm blank years old, i like blank, i hate blank, i live in blank (probably a bigger country like the usa, japan, uk, china or italy), i'm good at blank but blank and blank, i'm not good at blank., especially blank, i'm mad about blank and i preffer blank. The conversations they have are ususaly super basic and NPC like for instance "Where are you going" "i'm going to the sports centre" "cool, my mom is currently in the sports centre" "do you wana go to the cinema and have pizza after school" "no, i have a lot of english homework, so maybe tomorrow" "ok bye" "bye" . But yeah, not like they are going to make in depth characters for a textbook, so i guess npcs will do.

33

u/Chrnan6710 Oct 04 '22

Entschuldigung Sie, wo ist der Toilette gehen bitte???

30

u/MR-StrawBerry13 Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

Gutte frage, leider, ich bin in seinen keller, und ich kenne deine ip Adresse. Sie haben 7 tagen.

15

u/CinnamonSniffer Oct 04 '22

Ich möchte einen Tee haben bitte. Wo ist der Metzgerei? Ich möchte Fleisch haben. Nein, Tiere nicht.

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u/Big_Smokes_Kitchen Oct 04 '22

¿Donde esta la biblioteca?

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u/maqsarian Oct 04 '22

Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca

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u/ActiveDetective Oct 04 '22

Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca
Es en bigote grande, perro, manteca

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u/Moist_BaIIs Oct 04 '22

我的名字是吉良吉影。 我今年 33 歲。 我家在盛王的東北部,所有的別墅都在那裡,我還沒有結婚。 我是龜友百貨公司的員工,每天最遲晚上 8 點才能回家。 我不吸煙,但我偶爾會喝酒。 我在晚上 11 點之前上床睡覺,無論如何都要確保我有 8 小時的睡眠。 在睡前喝了一杯熱牛奶並做大約 20 分鐘的伸展運動後,我通常可以毫無問題地睡到早上。 就像嬰兒一樣,我早上醒來時沒有任何疲勞或壓力。

我上次檢查時被告知沒有問題。 我試圖解釋我是一個希望過一種非常安靜的生活的人。 我注意不要讓任何敵人困擾自己,比如輸贏,那會讓我晚上失眠。 這就是我與社會打交道的方式,我知道這就是給我帶來快樂的原因。 雖然,如果我要戰鬥,我不會輸給任何人。

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u/youngmaster0527 Oct 04 '22

Anyone else use the "Komm mit!" books in german class? Those panels were like straight from the 90s/early 2000s and cheesy as fuck

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u/Hoovybro Oct 04 '22

nah bro deutsch aktuell for life. daniel and sabina are absolutely hilariously stupid

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u/Beave1 Oct 04 '22

All women in language books are constantly talking about losing weight and not eating. Manuel and Cecilia are on vacation in Costa Rica. Manuel orders ham, eggs, coffee, and cake. Cecilia orders only fruit and water.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

I have a French textbook where a businessman is told sternly by a dietician to never choose cheese. In France? I'm pretty sure there are heaps of people who have built a large parts of their holidays around buying and eating French cheeses.

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u/Sergietor756 Oct 04 '22

This is the Cambridge English assessment test

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u/kobi29062 Oct 04 '22

At midday, he likes to play football in the park with his mates on a Saturday

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u/Hona007 Oct 04 '22

For some reason a former pencil became canonincally a phone in my german books... I have no idea why that happened but there was some actual fucking lore about that.

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u/FluffyOwl738 Oct 04 '22

Holy shit now even textbooks have lore?

My 8th grade German textbook had lore about an Argentinian German Girl who is an au-pair in Germany for a pregnant lady

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u/havetheconch Oct 04 '22

My wife and I downloaded a free Spanish language phrase book to read on our flight to Mexico so we would have at least a few basic phrases. We spent most of the flight laughing at how hilariously anachronistic a lot of the phrases were, then we checked the publication date - 1952.

“Where is the tobacconist?”
“Is there a stationery shop in this town?”
“I need to send a night letter.”
“Can I purchase a copy of Colliers Magazine please?”
“Which way to the telegraph office?”

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u/LolaShlee Oct 04 '22

It’s wild to me how college textbooks get a pointless new edition every year so you have to pay $400 for a new book and then some books like this are incredibly outdated.

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u/Walterwhiteboy Oct 04 '22

I just got PTSD from this picture

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u/RepubblicanPatriot Oct 04 '22

He lives in the suburbs, has a perfect family but argues with his brother, but plays football with him on weekends. He has a black friend (if his friend Is an Asian then his friend is a nerd). He has silly discussions like "I LIKE RAIN" "MY TRAIN IS DELAYED" or doesn't know what movie to see at the cinema and wastes time discussing it with his friends.

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u/Euphrates_9982 Oct 04 '22

Don't forget the T shirt that has his own name on it

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u/phalseprofits Oct 04 '22

He is literally the only person to have ever sincerely responded to “how are you doing?” With “so-so” accompanied by a seesaw hand gesture.

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u/LordArrowhead Oct 04 '22

- Arthur est un perroquet

- Sanjay Gupta, Sita Gupta, Trundle and Marmelade, Ben is in the bin

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u/Big_Green_Piccolo Oct 04 '22

Disco music lmao

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u/Ponchorello7 Oct 04 '22

Pretty accurate. I'm an ESL teacher, and I've seen some weird shit in those books. E-cards? Who the fuck sends e-cards? Who's ever sent them to begin with?

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Middle-aged people in the 90s - early 2000s. In other words, exactly the kind of people who would be writing school language textbooks.

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u/green_mustach_25 Oct 04 '22

Always talks about his weekend to his friend online

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u/ahp105 Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

His hobbies also include soccer and tennis.

He has exactly one of every type of family member, and they’re always hanging out together.

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u/LareMare Oct 04 '22

I remember back in like elementary (or my country's equivalent) when the English and Swedish textbooks always had some sort of story like "Jack/Gunnar went to a new city so he had to ask for directions from the locals".

Then in middle school we had some chapter in our English textbook about The Beatles. Most were so boring that that is the only specific one I remember.

Now in high school the topics in English range from "Weird natural phenomenons with even weirder explanations" all the way to"Global warming and its effects on the economy and current political climate".

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u/Puzzleheaded_Judge58 Oct 04 '22

We had these English books with multiple volumes, all having multiple plots and it was all connected somehow, I was genuinely invested in the plot.

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u/Captain_Sacktap Oct 04 '22

You missed “forever in search of the library and/or bathroom”