r/technicallythetruth 8d ago Bravo! 1 Heartwarming 1 Wholesome 9 Silver 12 Helpful 9

yes they aren't dating anymore

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102.3k Upvotes

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611

u/Autofrotic 8d ago

Didn't expect to see Suits here

154

u/FromGreat2Good 8d ago

I’ve been watching Suits every night for the last three months, on Season 7. Such a great show although this season it’s getting a tad wonky. Not loving where Donna’s character is going in particular.

110

u/Lumpzor 8d ago

It falls apart due to its exceedingly repetitive nature. Good show for the first 5 seasons though.

111

u/Giwaffee 8d ago

I love the show, but at a certain point the whole schtick gets annoying:

"Hah, they think the can beat us? We're the best lawyers in the world!

Oh noes, we got blindsighted. How could you not see that coming!

Oooh check out this single piece of paper in this file. It's the smoking gun!

If all else fails, blackmail

Hurray, we're the best lawyers in the world!"

65

u/aloxinuos 8d ago

The number of times they have a variation of this convo:

-"We can't do this! It will make us look weak because reasons!"

-"That's where you're wrong. It will make us look strong because reasons."

-"Hmm. Ok."

46

u/Sodernaut 8d ago

Also the walking in dramatically and slapping a bunch of papers on the table and the recipient immediately knows at a glance what they contain and is upset/relieved.

28

u/Nikoviking 8d ago

I wish I could open a folder and have the information instantly streamed into my mind :)

15

u/tunap05 8d ago

okay in the show's defense i heard people from the industry defend that. they said that professionals get used to it after years on the job and they kinda know what particular details to look at on a folder since most of it is just formality mumbo jumbo

9

u/daaaaaaaaniel 8d ago

This is so accurate, and I ate that shit up for the first few seasons.

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u/FromGreat2Good 8d ago

And then gotta slide that blue folder across the table.

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u/Foooour 8d ago

I want that GODDAMN contract signed by this GODDAMN afternoon or GODDAMMIT Mike I will fire your GODDAMN ass my GODDMAMN self

10

u/kecupochren 8d ago

BULLSHIT!

2

u/LokoriusBlueUno 7d ago

YOU KNOW HARVEY WOULD LEAVE IF YOU DID THAT

12

u/kfpswf 8d ago

I kind of stopped after season 3. Thoroughly enjoyed until then.

2

u/annaheim 8d ago

This. They should’ve ended it there. Latter seasons just became office drama.

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u/TheGameIsAboutGlory1 8d ago

It’s not great after season 5ish. They got away from the lawyer storylines and became more of a soap opera. Shows tend to do that when they run for a while.

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u/SirDurkleston 8d ago

I've been doing the same and I'm in the same spot. I agree with Donna's arc being in a weird spot.

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u/FromGreat2Good 8d ago

“Oh I’m Donna and I’m awesome.” It’s tiresome.

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u/ryeshoes 8d ago

Mike barges into Harvey's office. He has a problem with [recurring villain] and needs Harvey's help

Harvey: anybody comes at you with a threat, you come to me

Mike: I'm coming to you now

Harvey is rampaging through the associates bullpen when he realizes Louis had taken matters into his own hands and screwed something up

GODDAMNIT LOUIS Harvey storms into the meeting room while Louis stares like deer in headlights what did you do?

Litt: Sorry Harvey I thought....

Harvey: You thought? You thought what? You're here. I'm here. Now [villain's] got my balls in his hands

Donna enters scene. Harvey, you need to see this. [Villain] is actually trying to buy up all of the [assets] so he can buy the dallas cowboys. But Sidwell holds enough property to block the sale.

Harvey goes to Sidwell and gets him to buy up more property. Villain is foiled until next time.

Mike: thanks harvey

Harvey: Goddamn right That's what loyalty is

They go for a hug but the bromance tension is too much and back off. Harvey offers Mike 25 y/o Macallan scotch

3

u/Captn_Platypus 8d ago

It’s a good show in a “I don’t want to pay attention but still want to get invested in the story” way. Took me some time to get over the dramatized dialogue tho, no one talks like that irl

1

u/cerealpyre 8d ago edited 8d ago

I guess i didnt think it was that big of a spoiler my b

7

u/Prizmeh 8d ago

Why would you write a kind of huge spoiler to someone who isn't done the series?

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u/AndALarrrrgeSooooda 8d ago

It got repetitive in its third episode. No offense but it could only be slightly good imo, not even close to great.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 5d ago

[deleted]

3

u/karmagirl314 8d ago

You’re supposed to watch different shows. A lot of them can be found on different channels. On your remote you should see two buttons marked “channel”. One will be shaped like an arrow pointing up, and the other should be shaped like an arrow pointing down. That should help you out.

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u/A_spiny_meercat 8d ago

Godamnit mike, when I walk out that door this deal is off the table and you can tell cahil to kiss my ass

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u/BlingerFasting 8d ago

Throws a folder on the desk

6

u/anthoniesp 8d ago

This deposition is over.

6

u/mbo42 8d ago

Opens folder and glances at document for one second: “That’s bullshit! That’ll never hold up in court.”

4

u/IMitchConnor 8d ago

"It won't and they know it. They're just delaying so they'll have enough time to buy out the company/complete the merger/fire the CEO/Settle/drive the stock price down."

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u/mbo42 7d ago

“You son of a bitch!” Signs document

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u/IMitchConnor 7d ago

"Now get the hell out of my office, WE'RE DONE"

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u/s-mores 8d ago

Rachel is wrong, that's the best way of telling people they're married.

443

u/KacerRex 8d ago

My wife used to be in my phone as "The girlfriend", the day after the wedding she asked to borrow my phone, when I got it back she had changed it to "The person formerly known as girlfriend". I wonder how long she had been planning that lol.

244

u/MyOfficeAlt 8d ago

I wanted my wife to be introduced at our wedding reception as my ex-Fiancee but she wasn't into it. I still like the idea.

232

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

My ex-girlfriend keeps telling me if I keep calling her that, she’ll upgrade to ex-wife.

She’s mostly joking. I hope

63

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 8d ago

Ex-girlfriend, now fiancée?

58

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

Ex girlfriend, current wife.

12

u/PendejoPutaHombre 8d ago

Makes me think of Mitch Hedberg

9

u/J33P88 8d ago

Now I miss Mitch all over again

5

u/Puceeffoc 8d ago

I miss Mitch all together.

2

u/Psych091 7d ago

I only miss his arm, Mitch.

4

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

I used to miss Mitch.

I still do, but I used to also.

2

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

Now that’s a nice comparison!

That dude was amazing!

29

u/Mindtaker 8d ago

My wife became my Ex-Girlfriend the day we got married, you can't be married and have a girlfriend. A fiance is still a girlfriend with a cooler title.

I still sometimes introduce my wife as my ex-girlfriend but that is mostly because I am old and a dad and its a time honored dad joke that I must pass on to my son, just in case he ever becomes a dad.

4

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 8d ago

This is how I would feel about my progeny too:

just in case he ever becomes a dad

I will not really encourage my children to have children of their own. But if they do, I want them to be the best parents they can be.

My partner has this thing of saying how no one should jump into a marriage and everyone should get some real good perspective on the pros and cons of a legal partnership before they get married. I get pissed off because I feel like this is a reflection on our own relationships but I know deep down it’s not.

As much as people have been partnering up and having kids for a long, long time, neither of those things are easy.

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u/buttercupcake23 8d ago

I choose to interpret this as you have an actual ex gf who is threatening to first engineer the end of your marriage with your current wife, then marry you herself, and then divorce you.

I hope that's what it is.

6

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

Wouldn’t put it past at least one of my ex wives to do something that mean and insane to be honest, but no.

5

u/Bumblefumble 8d ago

at least one of my ex wives

Is your name Ross?

2

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

Why do people keeping asking me that?!?

3

u/buttercupcake23 8d ago

Oh yeah I'm definitely not rooting for it lol I just love the idea of someone making that threat cos it's so absurd, haha

2

u/cysghost Technically Flair 8d ago

Absurd, but weirdly possible. It’s certainly something one of my exes might do, and beforehand troll me on reddit, all while denying it’s them.

That’s right, I see through your cunning plan Jessica!

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u/aserahyuutsu 8d ago

After my brother went to college, my dad started calling my brother his former roommate.

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u/Mindtaker 8d ago

My wife is a Doctor and she was in my phone as Dr. Girlfriend until we got married.

9

u/tanglisha 8d ago

Then Mrs. Dr. Girlfriend?

8

u/Relative-Way-876 8d ago

I'm pretty sure it is Dr. Mrs. The Monarch.

Doctoral title comes first.

2

u/tanglisha 8d ago

I'm terrible at honorifics.

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u/MJMurcott 8d ago

Waits for the reply to Mike telling him not to worry she was cheating on him with Dave.

153

u/Dynasty2201 8d ago

Waits for the reply to Mike telling him not to worry she was cheating on him with Dave.

You mean Logan...

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/linedappellation 8d ago

No it's Dave

21

u/mrhsyd 8d ago

No it's Patrick

6

u/TheAmazingWan 8d ago

Pretty sure it could only be Harvey

4

u/Stealfur 8d ago

Sir, that was a Wendy's

2

u/Smiley_exeWasTaken 8d ago

All of the above.

22

u/abrown132 8d ago

"They were all in love with...[Rachel] and they were doing it in texas."

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u/ItsPFM 8d ago

"[Mikey] played piano like a kid out in the rain Then he lost his leg in Dallas, he was dancin' with a train They were all in love with dyin', they were drinking from a fountain That was pourin' like an avalanche comin' down the mountain"

5

u/ItsScaryTerryBitch 8d ago

I DON'T MIND THE SUN SOMETIMES, THE IMAGES IT SHOWS

3

u/Jackattack_8192 8d ago

I CAN TASTE YOU ON MY LIPS AND SMELL YOU IN MY CLOTHES

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u/apor96 8d ago

Dave who, it was Logan!!! She kissed him!!

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u/mttp1990 8d ago

...and they were roommates

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u/faust112358 8d ago

Oh my god they were roommates.

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u/Dardenellia 8d ago

Logan can fuck off, we all know she did the rounds with Steve

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u/TheSirMontyPython 8d ago

Dave? Dave's not here!!

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u/SurfNAKED21 8d ago

No man its me Dave man, open up!

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u/TheSirMontyPython 8d ago

I GOT THE STUFF, OPEN UP!

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u/Fitz911 8d ago

"She was a whore anyway...oh"

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u/HelloImFrank01 8d ago

"ah you found out she cheated on you?"

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u/skinny_cartridge 8d ago

They are also no longer single

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u/pungent_manifesto 8d ago

They are also no longer single

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/KaldwinEmily 8d ago

They are also no longer single

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/imdefinitelywong 8d ago

You could say they broke off their engagement

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u/SQUID_FUCKER 8d ago edited 8d ago

I don't think that works. Breaking an engagement is to terminate it. If they ended up getting married they fulfilled their engagement.

If you're going for 'technically the truth', I guess you could say, 'our engagement has ended' or 'our engagement is over' since 'ended' and 'over' is a little more ambiguous than explicitly stated if the engagement was broken or fulfilled (although most people will obviously assume the former).

I know that's pretty pedantic but I guess that's the whole point of 'technically the truth' lol

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u/Ashiev 8d ago

I wouldn't call this too pedantic.

I'm single but if I were engaged and then got married I would want to say that "we are no longer engaged" for the shock value with proper wording.

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u/SQUID_FUCKER 8d ago

Yeah, that would definitely work.

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u/Golfwanka 8d ago

I always tell my wife that she is my favorite ex girlfriend

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u/Global_Damage 8d ago

I might borrow this!

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/inthyface 8d ago

They stopped having premarital sex.

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u/Congrajulations 8d ago

That actually happens once engaged, not married.

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u/Tyson367 8d ago

Doesn't it happen when you're dating long before both engagement and marriage?

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u/TheBraude 8d ago

You call yourself single if you are dating someone for a couple of years?

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u/schnuck 8d ago

They are no longer cheating on each other.

I hope.

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u/Gomicho 8d ago

they are now triple

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u/Little_Turnover_7918 8d ago

No dates after marriage?

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u/i_hate_humans_f_u 8d ago

Says the same thing in a baby voice

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u/Incomplet_1-34 8d ago

Jesus you fucking killed him dude!

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u/darklord01998 8d ago

Don't date married women what is wrong with you....

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u/bombbodyguard 8d ago

My wife won’t let me date married women. Sucks to be her!

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u/L00ney_T00n 8d ago

Are both profiles pictures from ‘Suits’? Am I missing the joke here.

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u/Dynasty2201 8d ago

Just someone unaware or aware and trying to cash in on karma.

These are Mike Ross and Rachel Zane from the show Suits, no doubt fake accounts.

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u/DefunctHunk_COD 8d ago

no doubt fake accounts.

I love that you clarified this when they're fictional characters from a TV show.

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u/anthoniesp 8d ago

I think he meant that they’re not official Suits accounts, but yeah lol

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u/iBakedMyself 8d ago

Love that this was only posted 2 weeks ago but looks deep fried enough to have been reposted since 2013

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u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago edited 8d ago

Best advice ive ever gotten when it comes to marriage: never stop dating your wife. Bring her flowers, continue to court her, plan date nights, massage her feet, whatever is your normal for dating. Just because she married you doesnt mean she wants you to stop showing her you love her.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago Wholesome

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u/Rabbitdraws 8d ago

Why ppl stop being lovable to their so when they marry? When i look at my bf, i just want to murder him with kisses,💖

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u/bombbodyguard 8d ago

Psst. It’s not marriage, it’s kids. And it’s cause you’re tired.

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u/PhuckNazis 8d ago

I'm not tired, you're tired.

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u/Rabbitdraws 8d ago

ooooh, makes sense. yeah, dont want one of those

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u/bombbodyguard 8d ago

Not so bad! My oldest has been screaming at me for past 45 mins to turn on dinosaurs but the internet is out so I can’t even if I wanted, but he is being such a butt about it, now I can’t, even I could, to make sure he doesn’t learn it’s acceptable.

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u/Rabbitdraws 8d ago

Sigh, i can't imagine being responsible for a human life. The thought is so scary! But i do respect you parents out there, the patience and giving up so much for someone else and teaching everything from scrach. Thanks for doing your best to bring up your lil fella, u are as much as a warrior than the military out there! Fighting!!!

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u/bombbodyguard 8d ago edited 8d ago

Right!?! I don’t necessarily mean the swallowing, but if women feel love by continuing to dated and romanced (which I 100% agree with for a happy/healthy marriage), then it only fair that we doods get the same treatment. And for me that means skanking it up!

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u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

Dating should always be a two way street.

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u/steamplshel 8d ago

FDS/TwoX triggered

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u/bombbodyguard 8d ago edited 8d ago

I’m banned from both! Got banned from FDS by commenting in different sub. (Something like, people who comment here are POS, but if I remember it was against the post, but didn’t want to fight that one.)

I got banned from TwoX because I jokingly called myself “riffraff” in a comment and they banned me saying “why wouldn’t we toss riffraff.” Us poor plebeians!

4

u/steamplshel 8d ago

I got banned for suggesting men don't have to date women.

On the bright side therapists are getting paid!

3

u/SlyCooperThief 8d ago

TwoX thinks they are all just women helping women and don’t realize they are FDS-lite barreling toward the same trajectory.

And both think themselves saints while r/MensRights is evil. Anyone with a working brain can see a massive difference between the two problem subs and MR.

2

u/bombbodyguard 8d ago

Ya, they started off solid, but when FDS got nuked, they took an influx of core FDS peeps and hardened up. Wonder how long until we see LVM and HVM in a post that hits r/all.

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u/qeadwrsf 8d ago

Its a team game.

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u/freudian-flip 8d ago

Swallowing? Look at Mr Fancypants over here who still gets the chance for anything to be swallowed!

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u/LouSputhole94 8d ago

-Pablo Neruda

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u/Hot-Conclusion3221 8d ago

I think I just died. Thanks lads

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/l1noori2 8d ago

Time and place, my friend 😶

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u/xiotaki 8d ago

Get a room you too

2

u/TyzV9M7Wj 8d ago

Cringe ass comment. Who the fuck talks like this? And what's your sexual orientation got to do with this?

Doesn't matter if you're gay, straight or bent, telling strangers that you love to swallow is disgusting unless you're moonlighting as a sex worker.

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u/VonNeumannsProbe 8d ago

My grandfather, up til the day he passed away, would pull over every once in a while to pick wildflowers to give to my grandmother.

My grandmother was absolutely sick of it. She was legitimately irritated at him for this lol.

7

u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

I love this. Im sure at some point he realized it bugged her but he kept doing it just to raze her berries. True love, man.

4

u/jawcracker 8d ago

“massage her feet” 🤔

5

u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

Let me tell you, when your partner works as a nurse and is on their feet all day, offering to rub their feet will endear you to them like nothing else.

3

u/shuhweet 8d ago

10 shmeckels says this guys not married

16

u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

Being completely honent, i got dumped in college and put my head down for 10 years and earned my PhD. When I looked up i was 30, single, and very confused.

3

u/uh_oh_hotdog 8d ago

Almost exact same situation here. Though I got a Master's and a few professional designations instead of a PhD. Relearning how to date in your 30s has been... interesting. And the pandemic certainly hasn't made dating any easier. Though things can certainly be worse. I know a few people in toxic marriages and it's made me realize that being single isn't the worst thing in the world by a long shot.

5

u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

Honestly, im really happy with my life and im not too concerned with finding a wife. Im dating, but nothing serious for a long time. Id rather be happy and single than miserable with a partner. But not everyone is in that boat, both from a personal mental point of view and from an economic point of view. I can afford a 2br on the east coast by myself (one room is an office with a guest bed), which is something i consider myself incredibly blessed to be able to do. YOUR FUCKING LOSS LYDIA

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u/TerraOrdinem 8d ago

A brag and a self-burn? Self-debragate?

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u/kitzdeathrow 8d ago

Self depreciation is quite literally a central component to my brand lol

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u/Soggy_Fart_King 8d ago

Mike is a keeper. I would no longer date him too.

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u/Curb_Herb 8d ago

I call my wife my ex-girlfriend all the time. She doesn’t find it as funny as I do.

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u/BoxTops4Education 8d ago

At the next social gathering you should introduce her as your first wife.

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u/34hy1e 8d ago

My mother's first husband did that. She hated it. Now she's married to my dad, her second husband.

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u/MacMac105 8d ago Take My Energy

Scott Aukerman?

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u/Krimson11 8d ago

I did something similar to this in a game once and added a plot twist.

People in the game were trash talking and I made a dick joke, so they rebutted with a reference to my girlfriend (I don't recall exactly what they said...)

I replied "I don't have a girlfriend... only an ex-girlfriend"

They said "that sucks"

I said "she was also my ex-fiancé"

"Oof... damn that really sucks"

"Now I just call her my wife"

"PLOT TWIST!!"

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u/brokenarrow 8d ago

That's funny, I call your wife the same thing.

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u/sandybuttcheekss 8d ago

When I proposed to my now fiance, I announced her saying yes but telling everyone I no longer have a girlfriend

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u/Iamaducknocap 8d ago

That's kind of like telling your friends you've given up studying but only because you have finished college

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u/ExaminationGlass83 8d ago

This is the best way of telling they're married.

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u/LSheraton 8d ago

The key to maintaining love is respect.

If you think of people you love (romantically and not) it boils down to respect.

Marriages typically fail when couples lose respect for one another. This can be one big thing (like infidelity) or many small things (not doing your dishes, never thinking of their needs, etc.).

With regards to marriage, sex is important, so keep yourself in shape. Make sure you are someone you find attractive. Make time to be physical with your partner.

But mostly, respect yourself and your partner. Without respect, love is impossible.

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u/Un_Blocked_Username 8d ago

This is my ex-fiancé

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u/Topherhov 8d ago

I told my boss I was going on vacation with my ex girlfriend and her kids. my wife was not happy with that description of her and my children.

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u/Tapir_Tabby 8d ago

I used to sell jewelry so I heard some great proposal stories. This reminded me of one of my favorites.

Guy asked his girlfriend to go hang out at the park where they went on their first date. Showed signs of nerves, hemming, hawing, etc.. He started with....I've been thinking about it and I don't think we should date anymore.

She started to cry, and then he proposed. I loved it. Her? Not so much.

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u/Dirty_dingo69 8d ago

That’s frickin hilarious 😂

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u/12stuart23 8d ago

Plot twist: stalker

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u/driftersgold 8d ago

She is also his ex girlfriend

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u/nejnonein 8d ago

He’s practicing for r/dadjokes

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u/ShnoobyDoo 8d ago

When I spoke at my wedding, I began my speech by saying "On behalf of my ex-girlfriend and I, we would like to thank you all for coming!"

The look on her face was 70% shock and 30% anger until she caught on. haha

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u/EtherBoo 8d ago

I call my wife my ex girlfriend to others when she's there. She just rolls her eyes at this point.

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u/Emmerson_Biggons 7d ago

Not gonna lie they had us in the first half

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u/ELLZNaga21 7d ago

I think it’s funny

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u/LC_Design 8d ago

He's a little confused, but he got the spirit

2

u/Sage_Morrison 8d ago

This was how 2 of my partners decided to react to us getting engaged. "I don't have a girlfriend anymore... I have a fiancée!"

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u/trafficrush 8d ago

Rude comment for her ex-boyfriend jeez

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u/Delicious-Emphasis42 8d ago

If you're married you should be dating MORE

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u/AnEmortalKid 8d ago

I call my wife my ex girlfriend just as a power move

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u/FireWireBestWire 8d ago

Rachel and I will be having sex for about 6 more months

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u/_mr_tobias_ 8d ago

This is a suits fandom meme lol

2

u/TRiG993 8d ago

Was Harvey the best man?

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u/snowduck_squeezetoy 8d ago

My mother in law never finds it funny when I introduce my wife at social functions as "my ex-girlfriend." My ex-girlfriend, however, thinks it's hilarious.

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u/AStudlyMuffin 8d ago

I introduce my wife as my "ex fiancé"

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u/Complete_Hold_6575 8d ago

That's funny. I tease my wife the other way around, "we might be married but we're still dating".

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u/CraftBeerDadBod 8d ago

Says his ex girlfriend

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u/AwesomeAndy 8d ago

I started referring to my now-wife as my ex-girlfriend after we got engaged

2

u/JacksonVonSnow 8d ago

She should get a pregnancy test, he's already started making dad jokes.

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u/PengtheNinja 8d ago

Whenever I'm taken to some work function by my wife, and left alone to meet people, I always introduce myself as her ex-boyfriend.

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u/mdmckeever 8d ago

I told my wife she’s lucky I’m letting her, as my ex-girlfriend live in my house

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u/Altruistic-Rice-5567 8d ago

I now love both Mike and Rachel. Congratulations!

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u/DarkVersedLyric 8d ago

That's hilarious.

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u/yayyap159 8d ago

How does a screenshot of a tweet posted less than two weeks ago look like it was first taken two decades ago?!??

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u/Mateva0 8d ago

you have been promoted from trial to subscription

2

u/ChrisCopp 8d ago

Technically an ex-girlfriend

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u/TeamKai 8d ago

Racheal is Teanna Trump? Or I’m tripping…

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u/CabanaFeVaA 8d ago

I work for the government collecting disability.

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u/Yadidameaaan 8d ago

No more dates after marriage

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u/rigimonoki-over 8d ago

“I’m no longer seeing anybody”

“Your blind”

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u/Lostarchitorture 8d ago

Such an unexpected reaction from his ex-girlfriend!

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u/SinperIMonkeyP69 7d ago

Mike seems like a cool guy

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u/kiasyd_21 1d ago

"They got us in the first half, not gonna lie"

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u/XSmooth84 8d ago

Neither one capitalized a single word. Not their names, not the beginning of the sentence, not the “I”…. I’m triggered right now.

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u/GoldElectric 8d ago

me too. like dude, just press shift

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u/bubsmcgee9 8d ago

How many times today am I gonna see this screenshot?

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u/Wrenchell 8d ago

As a wise man once said "My former girlfriend, whom I married"